Hellobee Boards Topic: What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?

Hellobee Boards Topic: What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 15:14:56 +0000 Tanjowen on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608247 Mon, 22 Aug 2016 09:23:34 +0000 Tanjowen 2608247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Jess1483: @808love: @Cherrybee: I like the idea of telling him how to respond. And bribery, yes! I finally bribed him yesterday with the promise of a cup of milk and he was all happy to take my hand and leave. I like the idea of rewarding his good behavior and talking about it too. I do all these things, but not consistently, which apparently is the key. @Mrs. Champagne: I'm going to try this today! @OhCaptain: So I have a hard time with the entire "1-2-3" counting process (thanks to a family member, but that's another story), but I really like it in this case that it's not a punishment, but telling him what is going to happen next. OhCaptain on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608137 Mon, 22 Aug 2016 05:42:46 +0000 OhCaptain 2608137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Here are things that worked for me at that age A)countdown. "We are leaving in 5 minutes" and then three, then one. Then time to go. The minutes don't have to be 60 seconds. But it helps transition. B) a timer. We picked a noise/sound on my phone that he liked. When we needed to leave or transition I would say "I'm going to set the timer, when you hear the motorcycle engine (his sound of choice) it will be time to x,y,z." Id remind him a few times before the timer went off "don't forget, when you hear the motorcycle it will be time to ...." C) counting. If he didn't do what I asked, say, stop doing what he was doing I would say "mommy is going to count to three and then I'm going to help you stop. One, two, three." Sometimes I was still forcibly doing things, but lots of times he would chose to stop. Mrs. Champagne on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608134 Mon, 22 Aug 2016 05:13:02 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2608134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I've been having luck with "do you want me to carry you to the front door to get shoes on, or walk?" Aka giving him two options both ending the same way. I read it in no bad kids. Cherrybee on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608128 Mon, 22 Aug 2016 01:31:10 +0000 Cherrybee 2608128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I bribe :wink: . The books call it giving an incentive, but its basically bribery. "Its time to go home for cake. Quick, quick, you want cake, right?". Or I make it a game - "quick, get into the pushchair before I count to ten" - E loves trying to do things before I reach 10. But, to be fair, 2 wasn't such a tough age for us - now, at three, she negotiates and it makes me rage :silly: Edited to add, about the bribery, if she isn't good she forfeits the thing I've promised her when we get home. Her current love is money for her money box. I basically pay the kid to behave at the moment.... I miss the days when a chocolate button was enough!! 808love on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608122 Sun, 21 Aug 2016 23:44:44 +0000 808love 2608122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ 2 minutes and yes, Mom. . Counting to 3. Timeout for not listening. When you give LO a treat, be sure to remind about listening. All of these in concert worked well together. Nowadays she just comes. She knows I am the key to unlock good times. Jess1483 on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608114 Sun, 21 Aug 2016 22:52:39 +0000 Jess1483 2608114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Giving a warning never worked for me until I added a step. I would tell DS "in 2 minutes, I'm going to say it's time to go and you'll say 'ok.'" Then he totally would! A warning went from about a 50% easy compliance chance to like 95%. It's like he felt he was expected to flip out, so he did. But once he was expected to simply say "ok", he did that instead. I also occasionally rewarded that behavior (after he did it) with a small treat or trip to the park. No guarantees, but it really helped us. Mrs. J on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608106 Sun, 21 Aug 2016 21:41:51 +0000 Mrs. J 2608106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We definitely do the count to three and then there is a consequence for not listening—I pick him up or do it for him (he's very into doing things himself) or the object goes in timeout etc. Tanjowen on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608087 Sun, 21 Aug 2016 20:55:04 +0000 Tanjowen 2608087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Foodnerd81: Oh man, I can't even imagine doing this with an infant. And YES to the not wanting to go anywhere because it such a huge hassle! It gives me hope to hear it eventually faded, but man, he's teaching me a lot about patience these days. My favorite today when I put him in time out was him screaming, "I NO come here." :shocked: Foodnerd81 on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608046 Sun, 21 Aug 2016 19:19:36 +0000 Foodnerd81 2608046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We had this BAD around 2.5. I stuck to my guns and picked her up under my arm or forced her into the stroller, since most often it was when we were leaving someplace. I cannot tell you how many times I left the park jamming her into the stroller and walking out with her screaming. I tried giving warnings, setting the timer so she would know. It got to the point that she would ask me to set the time then watch it and wait to throw her tantrum as soon as t went off. Seriously. She turned 3 last month and has been so much ch better lately. I really don't know what changed, age I guess. We also went out and did fun things a lot less often because it was just too much to deal wth coming home. And did I mention I had an infant at the time? Carrying the infant car seat in one arm and a kicking and screaming toddler in the other, down a flight of stairs, out the door and through the parking lot... That was a fun time. Tanjowen on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608024 Sun, 21 Aug 2016 18:31:41 +0000 Tanjowen 2608024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @ustechie: @jhd: For the love of all that is holy, it feels like we are going to make it to age 25 before he listens!!! :silly: I corrected it, hahaha jhd on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608022 Sun, 21 Aug 2016 18:26:55 +0000 jhd 2608022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My two year old rarely comes when I call him. It is so frustrating. I haven't found any good tricks yet, so really just commenting to let you know you aren't alone. Also I don't see the decimal between 2 and 5 so I had a little giggle. This phase feels endless, but I really hope our boys will be out of it before they are 25. :silly: ustechie on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608021 Sun, 21 Aug 2016 18:24:49 +0000 ustechie 2608021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Tanjowen: i'm just going to assume you mean 25 month old... :silly: with my 20 month old, i'll count to 3. i use this method for most requests/commands. i'll ask, and if he says no, i'll say "that's 1" while holding up my finger and showing him. when i get to "3", i pick him up. depending on what my initial request was, he'll either go to timeout for not listening, or i'll just make him do what i wanted (ie- put him in the carseat, leave the park...) Tanjowen on "What Do You Do When Your Child Won't Come When You Tell Them To?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-when-your-child-wont-come-when-you-tell-them-to#post-2608017 Sun, 21 Aug 2016 18:11:22 +0000 Tanjowen 2608017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pretty self explanatory title. My 2.5 year old has recently decided to tell me, "No," and throw himself to the ground when I tell him to come to me, whether it is to get into the car, change a diaper, leave the playground, etc. There have been quite a few time outs in our house this week, and we went home from the pool after 5 minutes because he refused to listen yesterday :bummed: I know this is likely to just be a phase where he is testing boundaries, but I'm open to any tips and advice on how to handle this!