https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 08:13:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-830767 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 15:39:14 +0000 Corduroy 830767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sex. We haven't gotten past the painful pp sex yet. Every time we try it's been so discourging. DH has been really patient but I can tell it's starting to get to him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-830725 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 15:19:05 +0000 doodlepoodle 830725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are just getting over a VERY rough patch. Like...I was worried that maybe we weren't going to make it. He was SO unmotivated and I felt like I was doing everything, I work full time and take care of the house/bills etc but he's a student and I feel like he could contribute more so I resented him...a lot. We are working on it though. </p> <p>Sometimes I feel lime he'd do more if I wasmore of a nag, teach me wise ones! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-830604 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 14:51:24 +0000 birdofafeather 830604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mewtill: DH would die for a week of sex. I might need to try that. </p> <p>I need to work on being fully there with him when we're together. Sometimes I just need a time to check out and veg but not every time we're eating together, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829894 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:22:46 +0000 MrsH 829894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I need to be more patient. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829798 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:05:01 +0000 Ra 829798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1. Being more affectionate--I'm not affectionate by nature, and sometimes I just don't feel like cuddling or kissing. When I do give in, I make a face and he knows it's forced. I need to make more of an effort because I know it hurts his feelings. </p> <p>2. Telling him how much I appreciate all he does. In all honesty, I hit the husband jackpot. He helps out a ton around the house, took on all of our financial burden so I could go back to school for a career change, and is amazingly supportive. He does a lot for me and our family and I don't think I vocalize my appreciation enough.</p> <p>3. Try not to get so easily annoyed. My husband is ridiculously annoying. His sister and best friends will agree. He loves attention. That being said, my fuse is shorter with him than it should be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829659 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 11:36:20 +0000 MsLipGloss 829659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: I say that kind of stuff too (usually when I am sleep deprived, but that's no excuse). I am working on praising DH for everything he does so that he can at least start to realize that I do appreciate what he doing/ tries to do.</p> <p>@78h2o: Being specific is a great goal - I just assume that DH knows what to do (I mean, I had to learn, so how is it that he didn't learn right along with me? I digress, lol!). It really does help when I can give clear-er direction. </p> <p>@photojane: Me too. I need to allow DH more parental freedom so that he can start to develop his own routines/patterns with LO. It's just hard to sit back and let it go, especially when time is a factor, or you know something that would make the situation infinitely simpler/easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829613 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 11:25:17 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 829613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I need to work on not being so sensitive to my husband's comments. he does the constant correcting that @BlueWolverine: mentioned. it makes me super self-conscious and very snappish. i know he doesn't mean to hurt my feelings, but it bothers me that he thinks his way is the "better" way. i'm working on being more specific about what upsets me about his comments. </p> <p>@MrsCB: first trimester exhaustion is real &amp; you're not being lazy. you're turning *food* into a *human being* with just your own body parts! it's freakin' incredible! it's alright for him to pick up the slack :)</p> <p>@PrincessBaby: @swurlygurl: i instituted a "week of sex" where i committed myself to offering/initiating every day for a week :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829387 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:44:35 +0000 pl0508 829387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: @MrsCB: blah - I need to work on things in the bedroom too. I'm just always so tired! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829333 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:32:14 +0000 Mrsbells 829333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we have recently just worked through better financial management and merging our accounts and time management </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829328 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:31:09 +0000 ShootingStar 829328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like I need to work on contributing more. DH is a rockstar with doing things around the house (dishes, laundry, straightening up), while I've been trapped in first trimester exhaustion. And TBH, I was never that good around the house before I got pregnant! My philosophy has been to earn more money to pay people to do things for us, which doesn't work in all situations.</p> <p>But I'm coming out of the exhaustion phase and feel like I'm starting to be up for pulling my weight more. Of course in a few months that'll probably change again, but while I'm able to, I want to help him not shoulder all of the house stuff. He's just so good and helpful and makes life easier for me. I really love that guy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829234 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:07:41 +0000 swurlygurl 829234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sexy times... I'm always too tired and busy for poor DH - I'm starting to feel bad. Plus, with the new pp body, totally not feeling the best. I know he doesn't care about that, and I need to get over it!</p> <p>@PrincessBaby: I'm glad someone else said it too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829218 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:02:53 +0000 Modern Daisy 829218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worry all the time about not giving my DH enough credit for everything he does not only for us as a couple but for me now that I'm pregnant. He never complains about having to run errands or step in and do my chores. Last night he went to the grocery store, cooked dinner and cleaned up all on his own because I was tired. He had the same busy weekend I did and actually worked a longer day on Monday! I don't ever want him to feel like I'm ungrateful for his contributions and selflessness especially once the baby comes because I know he will be this way with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829171 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:55:08 +0000 78h2o 829171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>-Being less resentful over the fact that DH isn't able to help much<br /> -Being very specific about little things DH can do to help me with LO (i.e., he gets overwhelmed if I tell him to get her ready, but if I say, please change her diaper, put her in the red romper, and comb her hair, then he can do it).<br /> -Being very careful with advice/criticism. DH is apt to feel like I am saying he's a bad dad. so I really need watch what I say. I am trying to preface everything with something positive... so I will say, "Aww, thanks for changing her diaper. You're having trouble because it's backwards."<br /> -Being more appreciative of the fact that he works hard at his job and provides well, and also that he is trying his best </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829091 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:34:36 +0000 prettylizy 829091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: I'm a total nag too.... drives DH crazy but it's like word vomit but it just comes out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829084 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:33:37 +0000 PrincessBaby 829084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I need to work on making an effort to initiate our "spark." DH is the solicitor for sex and I have to be honest - for romance in general. It just does not enter my brain bc I'm so consumed with Baby. </p> <p>He works offshore for 3 weeks at a time and so I only have her to worry about for extended periods of time, so when he comes home, it's hard to change my ways of being all about baby, all the time. </p> <p>I dont have a huge sex drive right now thanks to breastfeeding/hormones, but I'm going to try to be "hotter" with my husband.</p> <p>I took selfies of myself in just a pair of little boyshorts and emailed them to him. I figured that's a start:). He was pretty excited, lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-829020 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:12:50 +0000 BlueWolverine 829020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I need to work on not contradicting everything he says. We both do this all the time about stupid crap. "Well, we left Grandma's at 2, so she should be tired." "No, I think we left at 2:10." Really? 10 minutes? Just let it go, self. </p> <p>If it's a really issue, of course I'll correct him. But going back and forth about this stupid stuff has no point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828995 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:07:03 +0000 photojane 828995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bamblm: This. </p> <p>I hate, hate belittling Dan. I never want him to feel incompetent or unfit as a parent. But, I consistently hover &amp; advise him on taking care of Sadie. I know it hurts him, and I really need to work on it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828984 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:03:37 +0000 lomom 828984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try so hard not to nag. I really only jump in if its something life-threatening or if its breastmilk (DH has a bad habit of wasting breast milk.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828961 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 08:59:49 +0000 ladyfingers 828961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not nagging or shaming my husband. Far too frequently I say things like, "What's wrong with you?" when he doesn't do things the way I would. It makes him feel bad, which makes me feel bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828942 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 08:54:19 +0000 dagret 828942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coacheswife123: I Need to work on that too- it's hard bc I just do whatever L needs, and when DH does something for L he makes this giant production of it. I need to be grateful he helps rather than keep score about who does more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828919 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 08:48:05 +0000 bamblm 828919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've gotten a lot better, but I really need to keep trying to be hands off and bite my tongue when my husband does stuff for the baby. I don't want him to feel like I am constantly hovering and correcting him. When I lay off he is much more confident about handling him and I get a break! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828846 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 08:26:30 +0000 hummusgirl 828846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: Ugh, how annoying (not to mention dangerous!). I hope he steps up to the plate soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828786 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 08:10:01 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 828786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Probably nagging as well.. and he needs to improve time management! Yesterday for example, he took the day off. All day he lied around (slept in until 12:30) and then watched TV. Then at 4:50 he decides he better take the garbage to the dump that closes at 5 so he rushes over.. then at 7 he starts giving his truck and oil change!! So of course I nag on him about he should be doing these things early, so we can hang out in the evening.. etc. Endless cycle! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828760 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 08:03:54 +0000 lomom 828760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: he avoids spending much time with LO. It's really frustrating. When he does hang out with LO, he does really stupid stuff like laying him in our bed and goes outside for a cigarette. I lost my freaking mind over that one. The dog jumped onto the bed, 1/2 inch from LO's face and DH still didn't see the problem, not to mention all the blankets and pillows he could suffocate on or even how he could roll off the bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828740 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 07:56:43 +0000 mrs. bird 828740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Being more independent. I wait around for him to do things &amp; then resent him for 'making' me miss things, when I probably could have just done them on my own or with a friend. If he wants to spend time with me doing things, he will, I can't make him &amp; it's a waste to miss out on things hoping he'll show up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828721 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 07:49:56 +0000 hummusgirl 828721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: Just last week, my husband spent one whole day alone with LO (8 months) and FINALLY understood why, during my maternity leave, I was always calling around 2pm asking, "And when are you coming home?" :-) </p> <p>To the question, I need to be better at being thoughtful and doing things around the house for my DH. He does almost all of the laundry, bathes LO and does a lot of the bedtime routine, and is just very hands-on, which allows me to take advantage and sit on the couch surfing the 'net. </p> <p>We both need to get off our damn phones/computers and interact with each other more. Whyyy is technology so addicting?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828716 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 07:48:38 +0000 regberadaisy 828716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>More "US" time and focusing more on DH. Ever since M has been born my life has revolved completely around her. Now that she is a "toddler" I think it's time I paid more attention to the man I love! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828708 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 07:45:33 +0000 Turd Ferguson 828708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: Yep, same here. The absolute WORST is when you KNOW you're about to start nagging, KNOW you shouldn't say anything and it really isn't a big deal, and then nag anyway...fail. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828699 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 07:43:28 +0000 lomom 828699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Figuring out how to talk to each other without being so defensive. Whenever I bring up LO or anything around the house, DH gets so defensive. But I'm every bit as guilty. We're working through breastfeeding and every time DH says something about feeding, I get really defensive. </p> <p>I also just always feel like he doesn't approve of what I'm doing. This morning while he was getting ready, I went in and sat on the bed and he just glared at me and asked if I was going to do anything today. He's so resentful of me being on maternity leave. He truly thinks its a vacation and no matter how much cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I do on top of feeding, changing, taking care of LO, I can't convince him otherwise. If I ever sit down while he's home, he makes a snide remark. So once he leaves, I get to rest (until LO decides he needs something). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-need-to-work-on#post-828617 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 07:12:42 +0000 Smurfette 828617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We need to make more time for us. I miss us just having fun together. Now as soon as baby goes to bed, we do. We need to stay up an hour and talk, play a game, have a drink, whatever. Have date night at home. </p>