https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 09:52:49 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2316368 Mon, 12 Oct 2015 07:49:22 +0000 LuLu Mom 2316368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say "what do you say?" or "what's the magic word?" to prompt. LO's daycare is very big on manners, please and thank you both in her first 10 words. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2316363 Mon, 12 Oct 2015 07:46:25 +0000 daniellemybelle 2316363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lemondrop: @regberadaisy: My LO actually says "I'm sorry" more in situations when I normally would say it to HER. Like if I accidentally bump into her or if we go over a bump in the car, she will tell ME, "I'm sorry." So clearly we have to work on it... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2316098 Sun, 11 Oct 2015 18:26:35 +0000 regberadaisy 2316098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lemondrop: I just kinda feel like it's a part of our job, teaching them right from wrong. If they don't have to apologize then they'll think whatever they did isn't wrong. Yeah, when she was younger she probably didn't 100% grasp it. But that's our job. To teach them it's wrong to hit, it's not nice to hurt people's feelings, etc.</p> <p>She's 3.5 now and has understood for a while when is the appropriate time to say "I'm sorry". I consider that a check in the parenting win column! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315991 Sun, 11 Oct 2015 15:15:25 +0000 lemondrop 2315991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: very well said :happy: this is a good time to set their foundation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315988 Sun, 11 Oct 2015 15:11:02 +0000 daniellemybelle 2315988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lemondrop: Daniel Tiger pretty much is my #1 parenting resource. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315974 Sun, 11 Oct 2015 14:41:54 +0000 regberadaisy 2315974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do both. She has gotten pretty good at saying thank you herself and when she forgets we say "what do you say".</p> <p>We make her say sorry when she's hurt someone. She doesn't get away with not apologizing just because she's young. She understands. We also apologize after she does. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315971 Sun, 11 Oct 2015 14:38:52 +0000 lemondrop 2315971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: lol, exactly what I was thinking as I was typing, "What would Daniel Tiger do?" since it usually gives a decent example of modeling and is how we started the, "I'm sorry's." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315965 Sun, 11 Oct 2015 14:29:15 +0000 daniellemybelle 2315965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting to hear what everyone thinks! I would prefer her to learn/adopt it through modeling and not feel "forced" but I'm also not against prompting. We just haven't had to do a ton of it yet. I do think that even though toddlers may not totally get it, it's good practice for later exactly like @Grace: said - start as you mean to go on. That's just where I fall on it, though!</p> <p>As far as "I'm sorry," we do prompt her to say this all the time. I know some people don't think that's right but I just don't feel right NOT asking her to apologize. She can be rough at the playground sometimes, so I will point out to her that her friend is sad because she pushed them (or whatever), ask her to say, "I'm sorry," and then if the situation is appropriate we try to do something to make them feel better. Again, Daniel Tiger is our guru here: "Saying I'm sorry is the first step. Then how can I help?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315801 Sun, 11 Oct 2015 03:11:47 +0000 Bubbles 2315801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't prompt at all. I think good manners are important in older kids and adults, but I don't think it matters in toddlers - and I trust that he will develop them on his own through modelling. I am very careful to always model good manners in front of him, and at 21 months he has started to sometimes use please and thank you of his own accord. I just think example is a much stronger teacher than prompting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315791 Sun, 11 Oct 2015 00:08:41 +0000 lemondrop 2315791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine has a speech delay, so we do a lot of modeling and prompting him for responses in so many of his daily activities. We have finally started to get some surprise please/thank you's so it feels like a major victory. He's started practicing on a play phone, once he feels more comfortable and links it, more will come. If we didn't do the, "What do you say" it would neeeeeeever happen, and I expect my kid to use it frequently as a courtesy.</p> <p>The "I'm sorry's" are more challenging, those I want him to consider the other's feelings, and he has a hard time understanding feelings still. We model, "I'm sorry that I made you sad" to his little brother and give him a hug. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315783 Sat, 10 Oct 2015 23:12:06 +0000 Grace 2315783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I say "can you say thank you" and also "what's the magic word". I don't care if she's too young to understand what it means. In most thinks surrounding manners, I follow the "start as you mean to go on" philosophy. I don't like changing the rules on her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315719 Sat, 10 Oct 2015 19:40:32 +0000 pastemoo 2315719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I do, but my son is 3. I don't remember when we started. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315718 Sat, 10 Oct 2015 19:39:11 +0000 catomd00 2315718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD is 18 months and I usually model it and also just say "we say thank you when someone gives us something" or "we say sorry when we hurt someone" and many times she will repeat it. She says please, thank you and sorry on her own about 75% of the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315699 Sat, 10 Oct 2015 18:45:58 +0000 travelgirl1 2315699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have said "what do you say?" about 50 times today! :silly: </p> <p>I don't make her say sorry, ever, I just model it and she will usually say sorry on her own. If she does something to someone else's kid, I always apologise on her behalf. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315673 Sat, 10 Oct 2015 17:32:10 +0000 Foodnerd81 2315673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yellowbird: same. I generally will say, "can you say thank you?" Or remind her to say please. Frankly it started because it's freaking adorable, and it's a lot less annoying when she demands something but at least says please. </p> <p>But now she actually seems to understand thank you. She's 26 months and will pause what she is doing, look at me, and say, "thank you for the cheese, mommy", then go back to eating it, or playing with the toy I gave her, or whatever. It melts my heart! </p> <p>Sorry is a tougher one. I still make her say it when appropriate but I know she doesn't get it. And I make sure to say it to her when I should, like if I bump her or yell or something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315654 Sat, 10 Oct 2015 16:19:00 +0000 yellowbird 2315654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say it all the time for my lo to say please when she asks for things. Sometimes for thank you. I feel like I say it as a way for her to recognize an appropriate place to use the words, not as a forceful thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315649 Sat, 10 Oct 2015 15:38:56 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2315649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say "what do you say?" as a prompt. </p> <p>This goes with something a professor for my early childhood program discussed regarding children's development and cognitive understanding of concepts like thank you and sorry. He really emphasized how making a child say sorry meant nothing because they wouldn't understand-depending on their age of course. It's weird to think about as an adult because typically please, thank you, and I'm sorry are so second nature to us and used so often, but I think we do (for the most part anyway) use them appropriately, understand what they mean, and mean them when we say them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-say-3#post-2315647 Sat, 10 Oct 2015 15:32:06 +0000 daniellemybelle 2315647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another poster made a comment in a thread about manners that she won't make her LO say thank you and wants her to learn to say it when she means it. At first, I didn't really grasp that - because we have taught LO what it means when you say "thank you" so of course she says it when she means it! She does say, "no thanks," but we have just taught her that as a polite phrase along with "yes please."</p> <p>But then the phrase my parents said to me all the time came to mind: "What do you say?" Obviously as a prompt to thank someone! </p> <p>LO is only 2 so we really haven't started that yet. What we usually do when we're prompting her to thank someone is modeling: "Oh, that's so nice! Thaaaaank youuuuu!" and she will parrot. Occasionally we do the: "Can you say thank you to Ms. {X} for {Y}, LO?"</p> <p>Do you say "What do you say?" or another prompt to thank someone? </p>