https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 11:54:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me/page/2#post-656509 Thu, 21 Mar 2013 00:20:46 +0000 ChelseaRose 656509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@edelweiss: we just sleep trained and did it without the paci. We did naps after 2-3 nights without it. We still let him have it when he's a little fussy, but never in the crib anymore. At 4.5 months he seems to be more interested in playing with it. He will suck on his thumb or fingers at times, but not that much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me/page/2#post-653847 Wed, 20 Mar 2013 08:33:46 +0000 PurpleUnicorn 653847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: i use the what to expect baby app and i just account for his distractedness. Like i put the timer, but when he pulls off or stops drinking, i stop timing. So i may only record 5 minutes, but we were sitting down to nurse for almost 20. And of course i still have my days when i worry about my supply for the same reasons you listed - if i am sick, growth spurts etc. It's just given me an average for the average days which I like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me/page/2#post-653386 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 22:33:51 +0000 Mrs. Bee 653386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>a note about hunger -- it is often habit. if your baby is used to being fed at 12am, 3am, etc. their body gets hungry at that time. i never worried about hunger because both my kids so easily slept through the night without feedings even though i kept them when sleep training. they dropped them on their own once they learned how to put themselves back to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me/page/2#post-653362 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 22:19:20 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 653362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm gonna go out on a limb and say...doesn't matter.</p> <p>If my kid was fed, temperature was optimal, diaper dry, and no teeth poking through, then I assumed he was crying due to being overtired. Generally, picking him up and rocking only made him more overtired and the crying did not cease. That's how we knew when it was time to CIO. I always picked up if it had been 3-4 hrs since he last ate. Hunger was the thing I feared the most, but if he was crying after only 1 hr I felt confident knowing he was not. Once he started dropping meals I felt confident skipping those too. </p> <p>Once they get older, though, their cries do get more obviously distinctive! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me/page/2#post-653240 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 21:11:08 +0000 immabeetoo 653240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurpleUnicorn: I use babyconnect similarly - and not to disagree with you (because it is a good idea, and I'm glad it works for you!) but at least with my little guy it has more to do with his "focus" than length of time.. usually if he's eating for more than 10 minutes it's because he's taking his time to smile and play, not because he ate more :) He typically eats around the same times but I worry about my supply when I'm sick or stressed know what I mean? Or if he's in a growth spurt that I am unaware of.</p> <p>@edelweiss can't help with paci because my LO doesn't take one but for the gas - have you tried bicycle legs/bending his knees to his chest? this is actually the first thing I do if my baby is fussing at night, while he's still in the crib. Frequently he will fart and pass back out without me even picking him up. He seems to be gassiest at 4/5 am - or that is when he's sleeping most lightly and it bugs him the most. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me/page/2#post-653229 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 21:01:30 +0000 edelweiss 653229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: i have this same question! i watched the video about the different cries and it has helped to some degree (at least i think it has), but i don't feel confident at all in my ability to differentiate my LO's cries. sometimes his "neh" sucking cry happens right after i feed him, and he wants to suck on his pacifier, not actually eat! so hard to tell. oh, i can tell when he's straining to fart--usually happens in the morning and he's squinching up his face and is pretty obviously straining. it's actually hard for me to watch because i can't do much--not like feeding him or changing his diaper.</p> <p>i'm totally having the pacifier issue that @Beebug: mentioned--on one hand the pacifier is a godsend because it helps him soothe himself to sleep (and i prefer it to rocking him to sleep, which doesn't really happen anyway), but it's maddening going back and putting it in again and again. we are trying to wait a few minutes before going to put the pacifier back in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me/page/2#post-653228 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 21:00:00 +0000 PurpleUnicorn 653228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: In response to what you said about never knowing if he could be hungry - my LO is EBF as well and i actually use an app on my iphone that records how many minutes he drinks every day. It gives me a good indication if he has eaten enough because you see their patterns over time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me/page/2#post-653177 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 20:31:07 +0000 immabeetoo 653177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Beebug: I cannot imagine. I've bemoaned my LO rejecting pacifiers because they seem to help so many fall asleep so fast and easily but... you're making me think I lucked out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me/page/2#post-653174 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 20:29:42 +0000 Beebug 653174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: Thaaaaanks. I'm hurtin', and just learned it as our new normal. She goes down fabulously, naps well during the day, and as soon as paci goes back in, goes back to sleep right away (usually, but now she flips herself over or starts talking to herself at times) but it's just going in so.many.times. to put the paci in or else we pay.</p> <p>Love her, but I'm over it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me/page/2#post-653168 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 20:24:49 +0000 immabeetoo 653168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I've seen that before - but I'll be honest it doesn't/didn't jive with our LO - or at least not that we could tell. It is a neat idea though, and I'm glad it helps some parents.</p> <p>@Beebug ZOMG that is so many wakings. I hope it goes well and you all get more sleep soon!</p> <p>@fatkid I totally get the gist of what you're saying - but I guess I am personally uncomfortable asking my LO to work past gas troubles or hunger at this age and stage on his own, and like I said initially, I can't seem to tell with certainty so at this point I'm erring on the side of double checking - especially since he is EBF and I can't "know" if he got enough to eat during the day But I agree its a shift as a parent to try and remember to give him a chance to work through it :)</p> <p>@tysonja that is awesome how it turned out, and an awesome attitude towards whatever works for each family. You're exactly right about EBF though... it makes it much harder to know if he could/should be hungry! Last week I was sick and felt like my supply dipped way down and he was waking 2 extra times to eat (instead of one, total). We were panicking that it was a regression or the new order of things but once I felt better and felt "fuller" he went right back to normal :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me/page/2#post-651875 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 11:50:04 +0000 tysonja 651875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>hi! i'll just share our experience with sleep training :)! </p> <p>we sleep trained with CIO at around 3 months. It took around a week or two. It was mainly for just falling asleep at bedtime, because by then he had dropped all night wakings already. I agree that we decided whether to let him cry long (30 mins +) or not based on his cries. Once in awhile it would certainly seem like he needed more cuddle-soothing/burping before being put down, and other times it just didn't seem like it. He has never pooped at night after the newborn phase so thankfully i didnt have to worry about a soiled diaper, and he was both breast and formula fed at the time, so i didn't worry that he hadn't had enough to eat. I can see why if you are exclusively bf'ing that might be harder to gauge! :)</p> <p>Anyway, long story short, sleep training worked for us and he has been sttn (no wakings, 12hr sleep) since 3.5 months. He is now 10 months old and i think he's only woken up once since then at night? This is including cross country travelling etc. I think we got lucky with a generally sleeeeeppppyyy baby, but i remember those early weeks and lack of sleep was not a happy thing for either of us! :) </p> <p>regardless of method, i hope everyone can get a decent night of sleep when they can! :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me/page/2#post-651867 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 11:47:23 +0000 2PeasinaPod 651867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did CIO around 4 months out of desperation. It wasn't so much that we needed him to STTN (he was doing that around 7 weeks...we were so very lucky), but we were rocking him or bouncing him to sleep each night. And the second we set him down, he would open his eyes and the process would start all over again. </p> <p>I had been trying to get him to go down for over an hour one night, and I just put him down. I couldn't do it anymore. That night he actually fell asleep within 20 minutes. We had some tough nights here or there, but we definitely learn his cries. I know when it's his tired, whiny cry vs. his "hello...poop in my diaper over here" cry. And I have to say, that now, a few days short of 6 months, he goes down no problem for us at night. We put him in his crib, he rolls over and just closes his eyes after singing to himself for a little while. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651842 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 11:32:36 +0000 loveisstrange 651842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurpleUnicorn: We CIO sleep-trained at likt 5-6 months old and she NEVER cried for an hour. I would say the absolutely longest she ever went was 30 minutes (with checks). Most of the time, she was asleep in less than 10 and I never even had to check on her. When we had to re-train at 11 months old, she cried 40 minutes the first night (with no checks, they just piss her off) BUT she is definitely at an age now where she knows how to manipulate us to a degree. The second time, she cried that 40 minutes the very first night and then went right back to STTN the very next night.</p> <p>A lot depends on the child. We trained C at 6 months even though she was only waking once per night. I could tell that she wasn't really hungry or needing anything and was waking from habit, so we went for it. She has really always been a good sleeper also. She was sleeping 6-7 hours at night at 2 weeks old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651819 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 11:16:24 +0000 plantains 651819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@fatkid: very valid point about training the parents, especially if baby sleeps in teh same room. For me it was really hard to learn not to jump out of bed and run to her side at the slightest whimper. I think I was actually interrupting her sleep. She started sleeping so much better when we let her have the bedroom to herself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651816 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 11:13:50 +0000 meredithNYC 651816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just to chime in with others, I think it is the difference in the cries - and sometimes it can take a while to figure that out as a parent. My LO is sleep trained and it's extremely rare for her to wake up in the night, so I almost always go to her when that happens. It's usually because of teething, the beast that seemingly will never go away! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651796 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:58:33 +0000 immabeetoo 651796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely didn't intend for this to become a pro anti CIO debate. I will respond once I can get on my computer but I was asking sincerely, not passive aggressively or intending to put anyone on the defensive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651794 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:57:29 +0000 plantains 651794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The cries are definitely different, and I really think that once I felt comfortable in knowing what they were, I was able to use CIO effectively. It has completely changed life for us and for DD. She is so much better rested now, and waaaay happier in the morning. </p> <p>I agree with @Beebug: I don't see how baby needs mama 10+ times at night, especially at 6+ months. Now that my LO knows how to put herself to sleep, bedtime is on of teh best times in our household. It is so peaceful and sweet and we all wake up together at 6.30am. I would do it again in a heartbeat. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651780 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:50:58 +0000 fatkid 651780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: I'm not going to discount that babies do have different cries, I think they do too. But I think if you are willing to try CIO, it's a moot point. The baby is not dying when he or she crying. Yeah, she/he is pissed/uncomfortable/sad/hungry/whatever, but the hope is she/he is can learn to move pass it. With CIO, one part is training the baby, I think the other part is training the parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651777 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:49:58 +0000 mrs. wagon 651777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just a note to add that when babies cry, they gulp in lots of air so that can cause them to get gassy and burp when you do finally go in once a night!</p> <p>Just like @Mrs. Bee and her family, we had one sleeper who needed to be sleep trained (Wagon Jr.) and became a phenomenal sleeper after that, and one who we never needed to sleep train (LMW). She only woke once a night and eventually dropped that waking as well. She once cried for 13 mins (Wagon Sr. was home alone with both kids and was putting Wagon Jr. to bed) and other than that we've never let her cry for more than 5 minutes or so. As soon as she was able to self-soothe with her lovey at about 6 months, she would rub her face on it and go back to sleep on her own. (sometimes she's out of reach of her lovey so we go in and give it back to her, but don't touch her or pick her up.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651759 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:42:45 +0000 Mrs. Bee 651759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurpleUnicorn: you're lucky to have a great sleeper on your hands. :) if charlie and olive woke up once a night, i doubt i would have ever sleep trained. </p> <p>i understand why people are for and against sleep training, and i see both sides. i know that we're all just trying to do the best we can! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651739 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:34:26 +0000 mrbee 651739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@fatkid: Yah but once I knew that the cries meant something, I was able to figure out what they meant past the reflex stage?</p> <p>Now when Olive is crying, I usually have a pretty good sense what she is trying to communicate to us... and how upset she is over something (versus just kind of fussing or expressing irritation). It's just a general sense, but it's been pretty helpful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651727 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:31:38 +0000 fatkid 651727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: she notes that these different language cries dissipate after three months because the cries become less of a reflex. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651690 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:18:05 +0000 PurpleUnicorn 651690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: i do acknowledge that I can't know what i might do in a given situation unless I am in it. L has never had to wake up 10+ a night and I can't even imagine what that is like. He started STTN at 8 weeks, but also has some nights where he wakes up once for a feeding or a few times and we give him the paci and he goes back to sleep. We always wait to see if he will go back to sleep on his own first though. Honestly, I want to start cutting out giving the paci every time he fusses because I think we partly do that so we can go back to sleep too. He still sleeps in our room in the bassinet and we hear everything. I think once we move him to his room in the crib, I will see what happens if I don't run to give him the paci everytime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651682 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:13:14 +0000 cascademom 651682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurpleUnicorn: My LO is 7 months old this week. We started sleep training last week. We probably could have done it at 5+ months because the wakeups were exhausting and even then I had a distinct feeling of being played by him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651673 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:09:49 +0000 Mrs. Bee 651673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurpleUnicorn: well we sleep trained charlie at 4.5 months because his sleep was so bad. he was up for hours in the middle of the night, and would wake up every hour or more often when he was sleeping. he was so exhausted and unhappy in the day and he was truly suffering. when babies wake up that often, it is usually because they are waking up after every sleep cycle and need an external sleep prop to get them back to sleep (nursing, rocking, movement, etc.). once they are able to soothe themselves back to sleep, then when they wake up from a sleep cycle, they don't need an external prop to fall back asleep. even adults wake up many times during the middle of the night but we know how to put ourselves back to sleep so we don't even remember it.</p> <p>charlie cried on and off for less than 20 minutes the first night, and the second night he went to sleep without any crying. night training him was pretty easy luckily, and he slept through the night i think without ever waking up from 4.5 months - 1 year. he was much happier and healthier, and i have no regrets.</p> <p>every parent, baby and situation is different, and it's tough to really understand what another parent is going through. maybe waking up 13 times a night is manageable for some parents, and maybe it isn't for others. for us it was always a balance between our child's health/happiness, and the decisions we felt comfortable with to achieve that. so even at a young age, crying doesn't necessarily mean that they need you every single time. charlie went from waking up more than 10 times a night to sleeping through the night in a matter of days after all, and he became one of the happiest babies around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651641 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:00:42 +0000 PurpleUnicorn 651641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: what you are describing doesn't that bad at all. First, you said you let her cry for 10 minutes when she was a year old. That sounds reasonable to me. What I think I disagree with is when a young baby (say younger than 6 months, but it probably depends on the individual baby) is crying and is ignored for up to an hour or more (actually, even 20 - 30 minutes seems extreme to me). I know there are all different levels and forms of CIO and sleep training and I don't know how they all work or what everyone does and what their individual situation is. I just know that I could never let my 4 month old cry for an hour for the purpose of training him to sleep. It doesn't make any sense in my mind. </p> <p>Also, honestly, as of yesterday I have thinking and reading alot about CIO because I met someone IRL who told me they let their 5 month old CIO and the way she described it, it just sounded so heartless and she was trying to convince other moms that this is the way to go. What bothered me the most was when she said she puts ear phones in tune out his crying AND during the day she also ignores his cries at first if she is not ready to attend to him. For example, she said if she gets out of the shower and her LO is crying, she makes him wait until she is dressed and ready. Her words were (and I quote) "sorry, I am not ready yet!". I just haven't stopped thinking about it since. I do understand when babies get older and are able to understand and manipulate the situation, you may not need to give in to their every cry, but I think it's done way too early in some cases and I find it sad. I don't want to get into debate on here as I can see from reading about it on other websites, this is a hot topic. So I think I will refrain in the future from going on about what I think about CIO with young babies.</p> <p>@cascademom: I just saw your reply after what I wrote above. So I am not sure how your old your LO is, but young babies are not smart enough to manipulate us through crying. That comes when they are older. I know when L cries, he is not playing me, but he is upset - whether he is hungry, wet, or even just tired/frustrated and needs to be held - that is as important as his other needs IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651557 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 09:25:32 +0000 Mrs. Bee 651557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurpleUnicorn: i'm in the camp of every cry doesn't mean something. for instance, olive used to wake up all night long crying because she wasn't used to putting herself to sleep, knew that i would come running if she cried, and wanted me to nurse/rock her back to sleep. i let her cry for 10 minutes one night, and she started sleeping through the night shortly after that. she went from waking up 5+ times a night (at a year old) to sttn.</p> <p>sleep training with olive was so mild i don't know if i could even call it crying it out. i just let her work it out on her own for a couple of minutes. if she gets frantic, i get her. but letting her work it out on her own makes her sleep so much better. it's much healthier for her to get long stretches of uninterrupted sleep than to wake up every hour or two. she is happier, healthier, and so is mama. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651544 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 09:16:19 +0000 cascademom 651544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurpleUnicorn: I totally understand that baby's cries mean something. However, they're pretty smart and will learn to play you with those cries. When you can identify the type of cry, you know whether or not you're going to get played. I felt that we got played big time when we were bouncing him and going in to him at every wake up. He knew we would jump and how high. He's testing his boundaries with us. CIO says "Tough, soothe yourself because we're not playing games anymore." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651535 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 09:10:31 +0000 allison 651535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been an infant nanny in the past, and I was always a big believer in CIO. Now that I'm a mom, I just don't think I can do it! LO is only 6 weeks old, so we're not even close to that stage yet, thank goodness. But yeah, I feel you -- it's a really tough decision for some! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-i-dont-understand-about-cio-enlighten-me#post-651478 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 08:49:14 +0000 Beebug 651478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will be giving CIO a go beginning Thursday night.</p> <p>Different cries aside, I think my baby has developed awful sleep habits and with no ability to soothe herself (as we always jump in there, so this is in part our fault) we are up to 10+ wakings a night when I don't care what anyone says she doesn't need us that many times in a night. She was sleeping better in January and since mid-Jan things have gotten progressively worse and it's now having a really negative impact on all of us. She is capable of sleeping through, I am more than happy to be up 1-2x a night with her to change/comfort/feed her, but anything beyond that on a normal night is definitely not necessary. My Mom let me CIO all those years ago and said it was the best thing she ever did at that time for everyone, and I think my LO could really benefit from learning to soothe herself (so much as the early days will beyond suck) and hopefully we will benefit as well (selfishly). </p>