https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 21:33:26 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting/page/2#post-2901250 Thu, 31 Oct 2019 16:38:49 +0000 codeitall 2901250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: I could have written that! DH was just telling me this week how frustrated he gets with the kids and he just can't understand how I respond so calmly when they do crap. And dinner! I loathe dinnertime. I've basically got the kids by myself every weeknight and DH just can't seem to think of making food other than cereal bowls for himself, so I feed everyone on the weekends too!</p> <p>I think to sum up the hardest thing about parenting is making so many decisions. Not just for yourself, but on behalf of others. Was that the right choice? I'm the adult, I should know! I have all the responsibility and it is mentally and emotionally exhausting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting/page/2#post-2901231 Thu, 31 Oct 2019 13:07:06 +0000 lindseykaye 2901231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: @beckysue: Same. I don't know why I dislike free/imaginative play so much. When my older DD was much younger it was a little easier since she didn't really care how I played with her or what I was really saying as long as I was part of it. Then she went through a phase of wanting me to say/do specific things while playing with her and it was SO FRUSTRATING. And I mean, it all makes sense and is age appropriate but if you're going to ask me to play with you then let me do it! Don't keep telling me I'm doing it wrong or what to say or where to put the dolls or how to pose them. I don't think I'm imaginative enough for it after years of adulthood and I really admire parents who can truly suspend their logical side and dig in and play like that with their kids.</p> <p>I agree with a lot of these posts. I think for me, I just feel so responsible for everything and everyone all the time to an irrational degree. Always planning, making lists, double-checking backup scenarios, surveying for moods, and keeping all the wheels turning smoothly while also trying to be a superstar employee, attentive wife, and supportive daughter/sister/friend. Most of the time I feel good and like I have things together, sometimes I really don't. And I'm a fake-it-till-you-make-it type of girl so I rarely ever ask for help which is something I've really been trying to change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting/page/2#post-2901215 Thu, 31 Oct 2019 10:39:16 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2901215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@beckysue: For me it's an introversion thing, ironically (since we're supposed to be good at imaginative stuff). I have a very extroverted job and by the end of the day/the weekend pulling a scenario out of my head and talking even more and in someone else's voice is just exhausting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting/page/2#post-2901112 Wed, 30 Oct 2019 13:05:05 +0000 beckysue 2901112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I totally relate to this post. I suck at free play. My daughter is an only child (for awhile longer anyway) and 5 and I feel terrible about it, but I hate it! I don't know what happened. I babysat when I was younger and that was my strong suit :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting/page/2#post-2901111 Wed, 30 Oct 2019 13:02:42 +0000 foodiebee 2901111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@msredbeansandrice: @Kemma: :heart: :heart: :heart: Thanks, ladies. Glad to know I'm not alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting/page/2#post-2901040 Tue, 29 Oct 2019 18:30:46 +0000 SweetiePie 2901040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess it’s changed through different ages and stages. But above all else it was lack of sleep when they were babies. And then the change in lifestyle, basically going from selfish to selfless in the blink of an eye. I wasn’t selfish in the negative sense of the word. But I mean just being able to do whatever I want, wherever I want, whenever I want. Not having any logistics or worries when I want to make plans. That has been the biggest, most persistent obstacle.<br /> So, sleep was by far the hardest but short lived. Change in lifestyle is 2nd and more ongoing.<br /> But it is easier and easier as they get older and I know this too is a phase that will seem short lived in a few years, once they can be home alone and all that jazz. It’s just a phase I’m still in right now so it SEEMS eternal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting/page/2#post-2901021 Tue, 29 Oct 2019 15:24:36 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2901021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: Yes exactly this! Emotional regulator and decision maker for every little thing. Even when we're doing something fun, I need to make the decision. I can't ever really get a break because things fall apart, or I try to, and then come home to more "work". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting/page/2#post-2900959 Tue, 29 Oct 2019 06:48:04 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2900959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All of the above, especially the mental load, but a big one for me is playing with my daughter. I just suck at it and hate it. Board games, activities with instructions and rules, I'm all over that, but anything that involves free play, I hate every minute of it and I feel like a total asshole about it because she's an only child and doesn't have a go-to playmate outside of me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900952 Tue, 29 Oct 2019 05:23:48 +0000 caitcat 2900952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: This idea of being the emotional regulator in the house resonates with me so much! My husband is a great dad, but helping the kids navigate big feelings or being calm during a meltdown is not his thing, and his responses escalate when they're losing it. I'm pretty good in these sorts of situations at this point, but it's come with a lot of work and takes way more mental energy than I expected.</p> <p>Also, figuring out what is simply a strong-willed response from my daughter vs. what stems from some sensory issues has been one of my biggest struggles recently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900942 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 21:50:34 +0000 annem1990 2900942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The mental load:<br /> “When did they last eat? What clothes fit? When did they last poop? How are we going to transition out of the crib? Do I need to call the pediatrician? Is this (behavior, symptom, etc) normal? When/how should we sleep train? Is everything packed in the diaper bag? Do we have enough diapers? What can I make for dinner?” Etc Etc. </p> <p>The physical chaos I actually thrive on. I love bringing my toddler and newborn out. Sometimes it fails but sometimes it goes fairly smooth and I feel like superwoman. I love holding the baby in one hand and dancing to Elmo with my toddler while I make his lunch with the other. I love when I can soothe a tantrum or soothe the baby to stop crying. I love the chaos of traveling with them. I hate that I have to think about all of the mundane crap 24/7 which makes me anxious and cranky and gets in the way of actually living in the moment and enjoying it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900939 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 21:31:20 +0000 jaguar 2900939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Always feeling like I'm failing.<br /> Comparing to other people.<br /> Navigating two (soon to be three) COMPLETELY different personalities.<br /> Missing alone time!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900928 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:41:39 +0000 Kemma 2900928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: I’ve already told my husband that once our 18mo has weaned (whenever that is!) we’re going on a cruise and I’m not making ANY decisions!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900927 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:18:53 +0000 pachamama 2900927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KNS: awesome! yes, with my DS1, age 2 was when things got soooo much easier! we really had a great year. Til his brother came, he dropped naps, and everything unraveled lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900926 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:04:24 +0000 KNS 2900926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: It definitely gets better, I have the same age gap but they are currently 2 and 5 and I was commenting to someone recently that all of a sudden things just got so much easier. They will play really well together, though still do some squabbling, they have a joint bedtime and share a room well. </p> <p>Last night we had friends over for dinner who don't have kids yet and my kids basically played without input from us for about an hour before we sat down for dinner. It isn't perfect but makes me feel so much less tense and tedious than things felt 6 months ago. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900923 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 18:46:04 +0000 pachamama 2900923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bluemasonjar: I just confessed this to my therapist and was so ashamed to say it out loud: I am happy when I'm away from my kids. Do I love them dearly and definitely have joyful moments when they're around? Yes. And i do think it's their age (almost 4, almost 1) that makes being alone with them stifling, stressful, tedious and utterly exhausting. But I am sooo much calmer and in-control when my kids are away (only if they're with family i trust</p> <p>@Kemma: so.many.decisions. I set myself up for that because I'm very controlling so my husband just threw in the towel but I have such decision fatigue.</p> <p>I also really think we are all just "in the trenches" right now. Most of our kids are infants- age 5, such tough years! I know it's harder in a different way as they age, but as they get to school, wipe their own butts, have some idea of personal safety, can communicate well etc, I feel like this barrage of micro-stressors will ease. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900905 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 15:59:51 +0000 Kemma 2900905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me, the hardest part of parenting is being the emotional regulator in our household and the person who makes the decisions. My husband has MANY wonderful qualities but empathy is not one of them so when the kids are losing their sh*t it’s up to me to calm everybody down and be the rock in the storm (as the saying goes!). And sometimes it’s like having four children because my husband can be a little sh*t and loves winding the kids (and me!) up.</p> <p>I also get very tired of deciding what we’re having for dinner and what we’re doing in the weekends - I just want somebody else to tell me what they want to do for a change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900903 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 15:53:22 +0000 Kemma 2900903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@foodiebee: my youngest child is 18mo and apart for a brief couple of months has never napped in the cot. Girlfriend either naps in the car or outside in the laid back stroller (I don’t even try the cot). We do pretty do much the opposite of what every sleep “expert” says we “should” do - feed to sleep, napping in the pram, bedshare and nurse overnight- but that’s what works for us and #3 has given me enough perspective to say “f*ck it” and just not worry about it. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900890 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 14:23:59 +0000 DesertDreams88 2900890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had no idea how opinionated and stubborn and un-mold-able kids could be. I thought they came out like blank slates..... NOPE. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900885 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 13:26:58 +0000 msredbeansandrice 2900885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@foodiebee: I could’ve written this. Nothing we ever did with my now 3 year old ever “stuck” despite our best efforts and I was sleep deprived and felt like a failure for 2 years. We currently cosleep with her and it (believe it or not) probably saved our marriage. I don’t love it but it won’t last forever and it wasn’t worth the arguments in the middle of the night with my husband. </p> <p>So for me SLEEP was 100 percent the hardest thing for the first two years. I felt so resentful of my husband who I since learned after having kids has really high sleep needs. I also need more sleep than I realized and it was just so hard. </p> <p>I’m pregnant with our second and totally dreading the sleep situation and I’m doing everything possible to manage it better this time. </p> <p>Honestly babies are assholes and I love toddlers. Give me a two year old any day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900876 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 11:42:59 +0000 LCTBQE 2900876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: awww :heart: :heart: :heart: so sorry for your loss. my old lab had to be put down when I was pregnant with my first baby. It's so hard to lose them and then being on your hands and knees cleaning under the high chair feels like insult to injury. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900875 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 11:38:08 +0000 nwm 2900875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ModernDayJibarita: yes, i am really feeling you on this. </p> <p>i thought my 3.5 year old had kind of turned a corner from 2.5-early 3s, since he has lately been relatively mature, good at communicating, many fewer meltdowns, etc. but now he is starting with full-on defiance, which i think he does in part because he thinks it's funny, but at 36 weeks pregnant my patience for him drawing on the cabinets with a pen or literally running away from me when i'm telling him not to and then laughing about it, is really at a low ebb. not to mention my 16 mo has her own very strong ideas about what she wants to be doing, which frequently don't dovetail with mine even if they're not actively trouble-making like DS. overall i'm feeling like i'm not a champ at managing behaviors, dealing with boundary-testing, and keeping my patience, all of which are going to get orders of magnitude more challenging in just a month. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900873 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 11:24:43 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2900873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: Tension.... not a word I ever thought of but I totally understand this feeling. I do best when my boys are at daycare or spending the night away with my MIL honestly. Otherwise when they are home with DH I feel a constant guilt (?) that I should be home with them too and can feel myself enjoying my free time a little less and I hate it. </p> <p>The mental load is a HUGE one for me. A stomach bug hit our house this weekend and it really demonstrated just how little DH does. He helps but does the very minimum. DH was doing laundry and when I asked if he included stuff that was sitting on the laundry room floor he looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about. It is right in front of your face dude!! Why do I need to specifically call it out for you?? It is so frustrating and the lack of balance really takes a toll. I almost prefer when he travels because then I don't have the same awareness that he is doing less. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900869 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 11:10:04 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2900869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: aww yes we had a dog who passed away suddenly last spring unfortunately. Tbh that is one of the biggest things we noticed after he died was that we had to clean our floors so freakin much! One day we will have another doggie floor cleaner :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900868 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 11:07:27 +0000 LCTBQE 2900868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: omg, being able to just eat your fucking food, YES. the holy grail.<br /> re cleaning up after meals, I take it you guys don't have a dog :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900865 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 10:54:59 +0000 Silva 2900865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, lack of sleep/time alone. I have learned that I'm a high sleep needs person, but also need a solid chunk of time in the evenings by myself or with my husband.<br /> I'm sure once my kids are older and I can sleep through the night/ sleep in more regularly, and they don't want to hang out in the same room as me all day, I will have a new challenge- but right now (and for the past 6 1/2 years) it feels like I would be better able to handle just about everything else if I could just get some rest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900864 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 10:50:27 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2900864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The relentlessness of it all. As well as what @crazydoglady so succinctly said. Everyday feels like an endless race to get things done and do all the routines so we make it to school, work, daycare and have food, clothes, etc. Weekends are full of preparing for the next week of routines. I wish I could work less and enjoy our family time more instead of having a list of things to get done so we won’t lose our minds.</p> <p>Last week we took a day off together while kids were at daycare and school and it is such a damn luxury to not have to be on a schedule. We took a morning nap, went to brunch and a hike. It felt like a vacation getaway! I also noticed this when we went to Mexico for a destination wedding a couple years ago...sure it was beautiful, but being able to eat when I wanted and do what I wanted when I wanted was the best part! </p> <p>Patience for all the whining and tantruming is also really hard for me. I use a firm voice with my oldest way more now than I ever did before baby brother came because I’m just so done with him sometimes. </p> <p>Cleaning up after the meals is so freakin annoying as well. 14 mo makes such a mess over the walls, table, himself. I’ll be happy when that stage is over because I feel I clean my kitchen 5x a day right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900854 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 09:50:46 +0000 ModernDayJibarita 2900854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: Ditto on the same health issues. I live in constant fear of a call from preschool that he ate something he shouldn't. It's always on the back of my mind. </p> <p>The whining, asking for something 30 times in a row and being silly instead of following instructions is currently driving me batty (He's 3.5 and I'm 34wks pregnant)</p> <p>The guilt of being WOH mom that has no interest in getting on the floor to play with trains or Legos. I love spending time with him reading stories or having him help in the kitchen but I'm not into getting on the floor to play. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900846 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 09:21:27 +0000 Ajsmommy 2900846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The mental load and all the "little" things that Dh takes for granted that I do (making sure they have clothes that fit, proper attire for the weather, snacks, lunches, birthday presents). Most of the time I am happy to do it but i'd like some recognition for it.</p> <p>I also struggle with parenting my son and feel like i am failing him most days. DD is easy and her and I click like magic. I know what she's thinking and what she needs before she even does, we've always been this way. But DS, he's tougher to read and i don't know how to anticipate his moods or his behaviors and i feel like i am failing him. I have to yell to get him to listen and not do things that could hurt himself and I don't want to yell but honestly it's the only thing that will stop him sometimes (sometimes...)He doesn't want to learn the alphabet, he doesn't like nursery rhymes and he says every color is "GEEN" bc it makes his sister laugh... ughhh.. is he color blind??? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900840 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 09:15:27 +0000 josina 2900840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like the hardest thing for me is doing anything for myself.... like, if I'm playing with the kids or watching a movie with them, or reading to them, or just in general making it all about them, things are great; but if I want to do a craft, or do some work, or make a nice meal, everything goes to crap. So finding the balance is hard! I want to do x, but that means added stress because of LO's so is it worth it in the end? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-the-hardest-thing-to-you-about-parenting#post-2900839 Mon, 28 Oct 2019 09:14:53 +0000 LKsmom 2900839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: 100%. </p>