https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 12:49:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821231 Tue, 08 May 2018 19:19:44 +0000 ShootingStar 2821231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is a hard question to answer. My kids want for nothing. They’re well fed, plenty of clothes, shoes, toys, etc. So in some sense I guess you could call it “spoiled”. But they don’t act entitled or demanding. At least DS (4) doesn’t. DD IS 1.5 and too young to be spiked or entitled yet. </p> <p>I do think that if we’re not careful we will spoil DD. She’s the younger one, but she’s totally the alpha between my kids. She likes to grab toys from DS and demand attention, and sometimes we don’t set enough boundaries because it’s hard and we’re tired from parenting two kids and working, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821194 Tue, 08 May 2018 16:00:35 +0000 wrkbrk 2821194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@808love: Interesting questions. I wouldn’t have said I was spoiled but I’ve been called a spoiled brat by more than one person so maybe I was. Yes Ihate the phrase and think it’s disrespectful and implies all of the negative connotations. My son (2) certainly has everything he could ever want but he’s also sweet and considerate and polite so I guess I don’t consider him spoiled in the sense of anything bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821149 Tue, 08 May 2018 14:32:39 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2821149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think spoiled is when someone always gets their way, but I don't think that's the same as being a spoiled brat, necessarily. I also think there are huge degrees of spoiled! </p> <p>I don't get upset about it but it somewhat bothers me when people are truly confused between developmentally appropriate behavior and just being spoiled. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821126 Tue, 08 May 2018 13:51:43 +0000 Mama Bird 2821126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I think it's an attitude and it often comes from the parents... but not always, in some schools the kids seem to pick it up from each other. I think of someone as spoiled if they act like they're the only person in the world (littering, hitting smaller kids when they think no one is looking), or are rude at an age when they should know better, or if they waste food. </p> <p>I was so spoiled as a kid. Definitely till I was five or so. I just didn't seem to have a lot of empathy from what I recall. My two year old is better at considering other people's feelings than I was back then. I think I grew out of it though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821090 Tue, 08 May 2018 12:11:56 +0000 MrsBucky 2821090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't vote, but I'll share my thoughts. My mom always said we were spoiled, but not spoiled rotten. By this, I think she meant that we had everything we needed and many things we asked for. Specifically, as a young child I rarely asked for things I wanted (I won't go into all the reasons for this....) but when I did I often did get them. Because I was used to not getting things I did want (because I didn't even ask) I think I was very appreciative of what i did get. </p> <p>I think spoiled means not appreciating what you have, expecting more and more and more, and acting poorly when you don't get what you want. I think this is hard for toddler and young kids because they are still learning how to moderate their feelings, so kids with big feelings about disappointments aren't spoiled in my opinion, even though it's hard not to label their behavior (which is normal) "spoiled." I think kids become spoiled when their parents have no boundaries, their experience of the world is that it revolves around them, and when parents give in to tantrums too often. I try hard to find a balance of prioritizing my son and what he needs (and to an extent wants) while also honoring what I need and want sometimes too. Once our new addition arrives, I hope he sees there are multiple needs to balance and no one person always gets what they want all the time. I also almost NEVER give in to tantrums. I don't punish them, because he is still learning to control his behavior, but I almost never give in to a tantrum to make it stop. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821084 Tue, 08 May 2018 12:03:56 +0000 Anagram 2821084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: awww, but your kiddo is still so young. I think parents have to introduce these concepts of problem solving, waiting, and learning how to fail by scaffolding in age appropriate ways. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821073 Tue, 08 May 2018 11:36:25 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2821073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I agree with you on the parental behaviors. Totally guilty of letting LO do what he wants. DH often reminds me what I accept will not fly at school. In that sense I label it as indulging LO and not really spoiling him. </p> <p>In terms of stuff I think perhaps LO is a bit spoiled, but that’s not just because of the quantity of his toys. Honestly, I don’t have enough IRL friends with kids to know if we have gone overboard or not, but I don’t think we have. LO is still at the age where he’s grateful for everything he has. </p> <p>Yes, I grew up spoiled. My parents doted on me and I had a lot of stuff. There were limitations on what my parents would buy. For example, my mom is a bargain shopper and when at 14 I wanted a top from Express I took a babysitting job and bought it myself at full price. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821065 Tue, 08 May 2018 11:26:57 +0000 Rocker2014 2821065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think spoiled is an attitude, not a financial/possessions situation. As previous commenters posted, a child (or adult!)that cannot cope with hearing "no" because they were never told it, or will not share with/show empathy to others because they were not taught that this skill is important is spoiled. I think of spoiled as the opposite of gracious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821058 Tue, 08 May 2018 11:11:14 +0000 looch 2821058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was not spoiled when I was a kid, we had enough money for the necessities, but I didn't have copious amounts of toys, books and art supplies. Nothing was purchased for us outside of holidays and birthdays. In addition, I have a brother with special needs, so once he was born when I was 8, all of my parent's attention was on him.</p> <p>Now as an adult, my parents have more time and also more extra money to spend, so I am for sure spoiled in the sense that they do a lot for me and never ask for anything in return. I think they do it in part to make up for the time that they didn't give me when I was younger.</p> <p>My son would fit the definition of spoiled, he thinks he gets $20 for just pouring my father a glass of water. I try to intervene, but it's my father's way of showing his love for my son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821056 Tue, 08 May 2018 11:09:38 +0000 snowjewelz 2821056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I was spoiled. Growing up we were upper-middle class. I didn't lack anything; but I also didn't get whatever I wanted. We traveled, had great vacations, but I could not just buy whatever I wanted. My parents paid all my college tuition. I lived at home till I got married. But I don't think I was spoiled; as I got older I definitely knew how fortunate I was and I worked hard, saved money, etc. </p> <p>And now, both sides of parents help us out a lot - financially, as babysitters, etc. But I still don't think I'm spoiled because I acknowledge all the things I am blessed to have as extra's and I don't take anything for granted. I think spoiled is when I expect things and take things for granted. </p> <p>We're at best middle class now, so my girls are not spoiled for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821052 Tue, 08 May 2018 11:03:20 +0000 Anagram 2821052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>eh, I think kids are more spoiled by parental behaviors like lack of healthy boundaries, or having little to no family rules/routines/schedules rather than by possessions. If that makes sense.</p> <p>As a teacher, I've worked in both extremely low income (like 98% low income schools) and I currently work in a school where we have less than 1% low income students--I actually don't encounter any more spoiled students now than I did then. I have students who clearly have a lot in terms of family wealth, but they are compassionate lovely kiddos to work with. And I've had students who were "spoiled" but whose parents were struggling to make ends meet. It's the kids who are never given a chance to learn about delayed gratification and who aren't allowed to fail in healthy ways that end up being spoiled.</p> <p>I guess I think of spoiled as having an entitled attitude when it's not earned.</p> <p>As an aside, I don't think it's easy to strike a balance as a parent between "spoiling" your kids and just giving them everything you'd like to give them. This is something I have to be conscious about because most parents' gut reactions are to try to solve our kids problems for them or to get them whatever will keep them from being sad. It's really fun as the parent to give your kids things they are excited over. Less fun when it's 2 weeks later and the item is trashed or put away never to be played with again for a year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821039 Tue, 08 May 2018 10:31:07 +0000 Mrs D 2821039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think for me it lies more in expectation and lack of acknowledgement of what you have.</p> <p>For example...my daughter is spoiled in many regards - many of them outside her control (my doing) - I dont hold her responsible for those. I hold myself responsible to make sure she understands she is fortunate, and encourage her to share he goof fortune with others.</p> <p>However, if she doesnt get the exact snack she wants, exactly when she likes it - she erupts. That is hers to own. She knows the rules about snacks in our house - yet she expects me to break them. She expects a fit/tantrum to push me to give her what she want. Its spoiled brat type behavior. We (mostly DH) feeds into it by giving in rather than holding strong. We are gradually making some progress towards correcting the behavior but its taking time. </p> <p>As for me, I was very spoiled as a kid. My parents made sure I knew/understood how fortunate I was and taught me to share with others less fortunate. I'm sure I went through spoiled brat times - but my mom was ruthless at putting us in check. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-definition-of-spoiled#post-2821034 Tue, 08 May 2018 10:25:25 +0000 808love 2821034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When LO was young, my mom called her spoiled and it bothered me so I told her to stop saying that. I remember my aunt calling me spoiled because she gave me a ton of presents that I liked but didn’t need. I didn’t like that either. The times I think I was truly spoiled but didn’t know it until many years later, was by my ex-boyfriends. Spoiled to me, means a lack of appreciation of what you already have and unhappy because you were expecting even more. Does being undeserving or disrespectful tie into your definition? What is your definition and have you been spoiled in your past? Does it affect you today? </p>