https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 18:04:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2749246 Mon, 19 Jun 2017 13:43:24 +0000 yin 2749246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is salary based and did not receive any paternity leave. He could have used FMLA, but since I'm a SAHM, that would not work well for us financially. He stayed home with me for a week and used up his vacation days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2749229 Mon, 19 Jun 2017 13:15:35 +0000 mrskansas 2749229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband can take FMLA but it's all unpaid unless he uses vacation or sick time. He would never take more than a few days even if it was paid though. Unfortunately men taking off more than a few days is taboo around here.</p> <p>My company offers 12 weeks of fully paid maternity/paternity leave and a guy in our design department took the full 12 weeks when his wife gave birth. I heard so many negative comments from male executives about it; it was really sad actually. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2749227 Mon, 19 Jun 2017 13:14:04 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2749227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same as mine, we both work for the state. </p> <p>6 months of job protection but to be paid you have to use your AL or SL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2749226 Mon, 19 Jun 2017 13:09:22 +0000 mrs.kiwi 2749226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Such an interesting thread. I'm in the Bay Area with all these tech companies and am seeing all my friends' husbands have amazing paternity leaves. I'm always jealous haha. But now I see I have it pretty good. <a href="https://www.google.com/amp/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_572d0d1fe4b096e9f091827f/amp" rel="nofollow">https://www.google.com/amp/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_572d0d1fe4b096e9f091827f/amp</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2749174 Mon, 19 Jun 2017 11:50:28 +0000 chenergized 2749174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband gets 6 weeks paid leave, which he can split one time. He works for a large tech company, and this is something new that his company implemented last year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2749097 Mon, 19 Jun 2017 09:36:57 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2749097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is a Fed employee and he received 6 weeks or 240 hours of leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2749078 Mon, 19 Jun 2017 09:11:34 +0000 bushelandapeck 2749078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH's company just increased maternity and paternity leave to 4 months fully paid. That said, there is no way he would ever take that much time off (unless he was the SAH parent) and it's an unspoken understanding that executive level employees don't take that kind of time off. He took 2 full weeks with both of our kids and then came home early a few times each week for a while. His new job allows him to work from home so I imagine he will do that this time around and maybe take days off in the first few months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2749054 Mon, 19 Jun 2017 08:31:51 +0000 RonjaL7 2749054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So interesting to see the differences across the board! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2749044 Mon, 19 Jun 2017 08:13:16 +0000 Mrs D 2749044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is an attorney...so he works on billable hours. He has flexibility to the extent of required client meetings and court appearances.</p> <p>He has a case actually near going to trial when we had DD1 - so he was back in the office 5 days after she was born (born Th, back to work Mon). But worked a decent amount from home for the first 2-3 weeks.</p> <p>With DD2 I had her on a Weds, he didnt go back into the office until a week later. Even then it was on "flex time" basically...he'd go in later and come home earlier to help with transporting DD1 to school.</p> <p>He just made up his billable hours when he could. Though he had no problem going into his reviews those quarters and telling the board he had children and as such needed to work a reduced load. I never saw it impact his pay/bonus. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2749036 Mon, 19 Jun 2017 08:00:22 +0000 Lahela017 2749036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At my company and my husband's, the men don't get anything. Women only get short term disability if they had birth. (I recently knew a woman that adopted, and she didn't get anything).</p> <p>I think it's really crummy that all you get is your vacation days. I hope this changes soon- I do feel like it's moving in that direction....? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2748867 Sun, 18 Jun 2017 10:27:00 +0000 periwinklebee 2748867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my husband would qualify for FMLA based on the size of his company and the amount of time he's been there, but he doesn't know any men there who've ever taken that option. Besides that, just whatever vacation leave he has. He has talked about trying to negotiate some paid parental leave, because he brings value to the company and his industry offers lots of opportunities to move to a competitor, so hopefully he would have some leverage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2748784 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 19:36:34 +0000 Tanjowen 2748784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is a pilot. They have nothing unless you take FMLA. He can bid for his schedule to try and be home the first week of the baby's due date, which is what we did for our first LO and followed it with 2 weeks of FMLA, but at that time he worked at a smaller airline that only flew inside the United States, and I was confident he could get home easily if I showed signs of labor.</p> <p>Now he's at a major airline and it's pretty stressful trying to imagine where in the world (literally) he will be when this baby finally decides to arrive, so we are just planning for him to take 3 weeks off in December on FMLA and hope this LO comes on time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2748769 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 18:37:18 +0000 lawbee11 2748769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He's a professor so he doesn't get a set amount. I happened to deliver two weeks before the start of the semester so he was home two weeks. If I'd delivered two weeks later he would have gotten none. But his schedule is super flexible and he only goes in to teach twice a week so he was still home with us a lot even after school started. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2748734 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 16:05:15 +0000 IRunForFun 2748734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@RonjaL7: Yep at DH's company paternity leave is a month for adoption vs 2 weeks for biological. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2748733 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 16:04:18 +0000 IRunForFun 2748733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>2 weeks paid specific paternity leave that can be used any time within the year after the baby is born. I had DD on a Thursday so he took the Friday and the following week (5 days off.) The week after that he took 2 days off. He still has 2 days to use. DD is 5 months now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2748724 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 15:20:40 +0000 lilyofthewest 2748724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My partner works for a Federal agency that offered up to 9 weeks of (unpaid) parental leave before FMLA existed and left it on the regs when FMLA came into effect.</p> <p>They still don't have any paid leave at all, but, they do let you use both the 9 weeks and the 12 weeks FMLA (without making them concurrent). You're not required to use your sick and vacation time during the 9 week agency leave the way you are during FMLA.</p> <p>The 9 weeks has to be used immediately after the birth/placement, and anything that you don't use can't be saved for later. FMLA can be used any time in the first year after birth/placement. My partner took 5 weeks of agency parental leave immediately after the birth, and then took an additional chunk of time after I returned to work. </p> <p>We couldn't afford for my partner to take anywhere near the full 21 weeks of leave unpaid. But being able to break the time up into two chunks like that gave me some help immediately postpartum and softened the financial hit because it delayed the time before we had to pay for childcare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2748705 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 14:03:47 +0000 birdofafeather 2748705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD1: in medic school so he worked to complete some training and had a week fully off, then maybe 5-6 days of work OOT for the next 3 weeks.<br /> DD2: no job protections because he was on probation for his job but he was able to trade shifts and have a week off.<br /> Subsequent kids: FMLA available but he'd have to use sick days accrued and probably vacation to be paid but his job would be fine. He wouldn't have the appropriate number of days accrued for 2 years though so he'll probably just take a few shifts off here and there instead. (He works 24 hour shifts) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2748698 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 13:40:15 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2748698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are in Canada. His work tops him up for 5 weeks. So he takes 5 weeks paternity leave (took it when my son was 4 months and when my daughter was 6 months). It has to be used within the year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2748637 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 05:38:44 +0000 looch 2748637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was 2 weeks paid when my son was born. Because it happened over the Christmas/New Years weeks, it was technically 10 days, which stretched into January. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like/page/2#post-2748631 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 04:13:09 +0000 psw27 2748631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think he technically gets 8 weeks paid (better than what I get!) but he won't take it. It's frustrating and annoys me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like#post-2748604 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 22:48:25 +0000 Truth Bombs 2748604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband works for a small company that isn't covered by FMLA. The owners both had their kids before starting the firm so my husband was the first employee (male or female) to have a child born while working there. So in addition to no FMLA, they also had no set parental leave policy. But he works in a commission based business and is one of their top producers, so they basically said "do whatever you want, we'll pay you". Both of our kids were born the week of Thanksgiving which is a slow time in their industry. With our first he was totally off work, not taking calls, etc for a week. Then he worked from home the next two weeks, and then we were approaching Christmas/New Years week so he was sporadically in the office but still home most of the time through the new year. With our second, we had some issues when I was immediately post partum (jaundiced baby with lots of weight loss, and both my husband and I got strep with my husband's case requiring an ER visit) so my dad came to help and stayed for 3 weeks with my mom also being here for the last of those three weeks. Since my dad was around and I had a better hang of things as a second time mom, my husband started going back in to the office about 1.5 weeks after the baby was born, but again was always available to me and able to work from home whenever I wanted him to through the new year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like#post-2748599 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 22:33:12 +0000 MamaG 2748599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pickle: my DH warms on the same industry and he gets FMLA or can use vacation time. No specific paternity benefits. So interesting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like#post-2748593 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 22:17:18 +0000 DesertDreams88 2748593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He qualifies for FMLA and before kids we thought he would use it, but now we realize that would be extremely frowned upon at his workplace and it would be very hard financially (esp since I'm unpaid too, on FMLA) . So he takes about 2 weeks or so, depending on sick time and school schedule. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like#post-2748589 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 21:56:17 +0000 LindsayLou 2748589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With our first, he got nothing. Baby was born on a Thursday, his company wanted him to come back the very next day. He took an unpaid day off instead and got grief for it. He returned to work on Monday.</p> <p>No idea yet what, if anything, he'll get with this baby. He's an apprentice electrician. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like#post-2748585 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 21:30:34 +0000 Finfan 2748585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is a SAHD so I guess nearly 5 years now. </p> <p>I have never had a paid maternity leave (public employee) just FMLA and whatever PTO I had scraped together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like#post-2748545 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 19:03:10 +0000 caterw 2748545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH got to take off 2 days after we got back from the hospital, which were his usual two days off of work (he also had to "pop in" while I was at the hospital!). It was terrible.</p> <p>For DD2, he got 2 weeks paid. He works for an independently owned restaurant as a kitchen manager. There isn't a formal agreement but his boss has kids so he let DH take some extra time (and gave us a killer Amazon gift card to boot!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like#post-2748538 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 18:51:20 +0000 justjules 2748538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There is nothing formal since he works for a small family office. He took 4 days off (paid). He could have taken more time I guess but I think he felt pressure to go back to work as soon as possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like#post-2748537 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 18:50:11 +0000 Beth24 2748537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He used 1 week of PTO with each of our kids. A lot of these paternity leaves are better than my maternity leave coverage, so jealous!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like#post-2748532 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 18:39:23 +0000 MrsSRS 2748532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nothing with the first baby, two days unpaid with the second. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-is-your-husbands-paternity-leave-like#post-2748531 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 18:38:45 +0000 Foodnerd81 2748531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: same for us. He technically could have taken more but there is sort of a feeling of "well these guys had babies and didn't take more than a week or two..." </p> <p>DH took about a week or two off for each baby. When he went back he generally came home earlier and would take off or work from home more than often for a while. I know he is entitled to more with fmla but it would be really side eyes and would probably affect his bonus. But since they are also flexible with random time off throughout the year it kind of balances out I guess. </p>