https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 09 May 2026 01:55:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749824 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 08:38:27 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 749824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: that's a great explanation. Thank you so much for sharing. I think "bio" has the same effect when used for domestically adopted infants. I don't think birth has quite the same sting when a child was placed at birth, but I can still see how it might be loaded for some. "First" seems less so,...</p> <p>I'm realizing after some reflection, though, we just call her first mom "Mama S". Hopefully that won't hurt either of their feelings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749725 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 07:42:29 +0000 spaniellove 749725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe I can say from a child's perspective why it's offensive. I'm not adopted but my situation is somewhat comparable. After my parents divorced, my dad remarried and he and my stepmom pushed out my mom and I lost all contact with her. They decided that my stepmom was my "mom" and my mom was my "birth mother". This was hurtful to me as a child, to take the mother that I knew, tell me she was now just a clinical third party in our lives, and that she was gone. </p> <p>What they did in general is the most awful part, but what they called my mom really hurt me and I think it's important to honor a child's mother. The name you give her won't make your child any less yours, but it can deeply affect your child's feelings about the adoption for life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749721 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 07:40:11 +0000 emg86 749721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we were in the process we used "birth" or "biological." Most of our friends who have adopted use "birth." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749659 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 06:52:53 +0000 T.H.O.U. 749659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really curious why those terms would be offensive? I guess I also don't know what you would use to refer to them instead? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749657 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 06:51:33 +0000 sera_87 749657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Birth or bio. I tend to say birth mom &amp; bio dad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749596 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 00:42:51 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 749596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think birth parents prefer "birth" or "first"... At least that's what my friends who have placed have advised me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749582 Sun, 28 Apr 2013 23:37:23 +0000 Mrs. Train 749582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We say birth mom/ dad or biological. I don't know why that would be offensive at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749574 Sun, 28 Apr 2013 22:58:37 +0000 deerylou 749574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Polish: Awesome; I look forward to your entry! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749573 Sun, 28 Apr 2013 22:57:03 +0000 Mrs. Polish 749573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: I'm actually working on a post right now about the process we went through. This is a link to my other posts. <a href="http://www.hellobee.com/author/mrs-polish/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/author/mrs-polish/</a> </p> <p>There are lots of adoption bees around here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749571 Sun, 28 Apr 2013 22:53:10 +0000 deerylou 749571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Polish: Ah, got it. Very interesting; thanks for the reply. Do you have a blog entry, outlining your adoption process? I would love to read more about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749569 Sun, 28 Apr 2013 22:49:07 +0000 Mrs. Polish 749569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: We have a semi-closed adoption. We agreed to contact each other through a third party, not directly for the time being. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749566 Sun, 28 Apr 2013 22:44:25 +0000 deerylou 749566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm currently pregnant with my first, but hope to someday adopt my second or third child. I would likely use the term, "birth" or "biological" parent, but I don't have much experience in this area. I don't find either to be offensive, personally.</p> <p>I'm relatively new to the boards/blogs - do you have an open or closed adoption? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-terminology-do-you-use#post-749561 Sun, 28 Apr 2013 22:38:40 +0000 Mrs. Polish 749561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We use "birth mom" and "birth dad", but Isaiah isn't old enough to know yet. We use them for ourselves. I'm in a group on Facebook where someone feels those terms are offensive, but I don't know what is offensive about them.</p> <p>How do you feel and what terms do you use? </p>