https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 16:36:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911659 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 20:03:09 +0000 hilsy85 1911659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMed: for me, I'm pretty sure it's because I EBF and was/am a SAHM, and my DH works long hours, so I have just always been the one to do most things or be home for most things. So it makes sense! </p> <p>@Pirouette: aw thank you! :) Still very early, but hoping everything goes well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911260 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 14:30:23 +0000 Pirouette 1911260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i have no advice because my LO doesn't have a mommy preference but i just wanted to say CONGRATS!! I didn't know you were pregnant, how exciting!!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911248 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 14:21:47 +0000 MrsMed 1911248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How do you guys think the Mommy preference develops? I'm wondering cuz my daughter seems to go back and forth? Sometimes it's me. Othertimes, it's my husband. It always baffles me. I wonder if any of you guys have read about this and can point me in the right direction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911219 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 14:04:13 +0000 Sparkler 1911219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was like this, then my husband did a lot more with my son once #2 arrived and now that #2 is older, both my kids are back to the huge mommy preference. I wouldn't stress about it, my nephews were all like this and now that they are ages 6-12 my brother in law is the favored parent. He made partner, was able to be home more, coaches their teams and just generally has more aligned interests! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911186 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:49:04 +0000 hilsy85 1911186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: ha he always says that he hopes our next one is a daddy's girl :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911175 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:45:44 +0000 Mamaof2 1911175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice just commiseration. DS is 6 and still has a huge mommy preference for me. Honestly, over the years DH has learned to let it go. DS does fine when I am gone but if he has a choice its always mommy.</p> <p>DD loves her daddy though so he has that going for him :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911163 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:39:45 +0000 hilsy85 1911163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: I have gone away for the day, or for several hours, and LO is fine while I"m gone, but when I get back things just revert back to the way they were. </p> <p>@youboots: due to DH's schedule and the fact that we always have stuff going on on the weekends, it's impossible to make that a regular thing unfortunately :( He does try to spend 1 on 1 time with LO when he can, it just doesn't happen consistently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911160 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:37:57 +0000 hilsy85 1911160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: that's a great idea, thanks!!</p> <p>@LuLu Mom: I am hoping that things will be better when the new baby comes--they will have to change for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911155 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:35:07 +0000 plantains 1911155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: also, I think @mrbee: posted about having this particular issue with Charlie and he had some info about how he was able to overcome it but I cant remember specifics. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911144 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:30:22 +0000 bunnylove08 1911144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: DH disciplines DD too, she will always come to me and look to see if have something different to say but I always say "What did Daddy say"? and he does the same with me where we back each other up. </p> <p>I know its super hard having a cling on baby. I think you just need to leave the house for them to bond. Hopefully this is just a stage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911141 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:29:13 +0000 plantains 1911141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you go away for a day or weekend and leave them together? When I went on my first business trip after DD was born, it really changed the dynamic and now DH and I are mostly interchangeable for her even though she asks for me a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911137 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:27:04 +0000 youboots 1911137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you go get a pedi or have coffee with a friend or even just go to the grocery store every weekend for an hour or two just to get out of the house and give them some alone time to work it out? Or have DH take him to do something really fun that he really enjoys alone? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911134 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:25:22 +0000 LuLu Mom 1911134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: I think right now is just a clingy age for our LOs, I think it's a phase and when the new babies get here daddy will look a lot better in their eyes. It sounds like your husband is very busy with work, if he has the weekends off, maybe designate Saturday or Sunday afternoons for them and that allows you some cleaning, grocery shopping, or napping (the pregnancy tiredness) in peace. Right now E is all about DH, I'm just chop liver, but I do my best to keep the tasks 50/50, knowing it's a phase. It does hurt my feelings when she says "NO MOMMY or tries to get me to "go upstairs" but I know she means well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911133 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:24:39 +0000 cmomma17 1911133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: have you tried reading some daddy-specific books? My favorite is "Daddy kisses" but there are tons to choose from. I think that helped in our case (and like you, I'm with LO much more than DH is). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911126 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:20:06 +0000 hilsy85 1911126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: yeah I definitely try to have him be the "good guy" But that ends with him rarely disciplining LO, and me always having to do it, which I feel like isn't fair either... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911122 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:17:19 +0000 bunnylove08 1911122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my DD is like this. She prefers me over DH and it hurts his feelings. We pretty much had her spend a day with her dad. He took her to the pumpkin patch and they had lunch. It was really cute. When I got home she still ran to me but we knew she had a great time with her dad. So we try to do that every now and then. When we have rewards/treats/presents he would give it to her. She still is highly attached to me but sometimes she will ask for her dad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911092 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:03:41 +0000 Jess1483 1911092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: I would have said the same thing--that DH and LO were fine when they were alone, but if I was around, he always picked me. I swear the 24 hours made all the difference. I don't think you'd have to go somewhere for 24, but I'd do LO's entire day if you possibly can. It was like a light switch! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911080 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:00:15 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1911080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: I'm so sorry. It hurts my husband too and he also becomes disheartened but it helped when our pediatrician talked to him about it and basically prescribed that we all toughen up and that its very normal. Maybe someone trusted and neutral to the situation can help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911023 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:47:54 +0000 travelgirl1 1911023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have lots of this, it tends to come in bouts and right now is a big one. Last night she cried do hard at bedtime that she coughed up lots of mucus and we didn't have the heart to let her suffer, although giving in was probably the total wrong thing to do.</p> <p>I find that if I leave the house altogether, she is fine with DH doing everything. If I'm in another room, hell no. While she has a choice, she exercises her right to choose. Can you pop out for a coffee and let DH do bedtime totally alone? Hugs, I know it's hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911020 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:46:53 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1911020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since you're pregnant it will probably get worse before it gets better. But that's totally normal! If there is a task you want to transition to your DH I would do it together all three of you for a little while and then you start leaving part of the way through, until you don't need to be involved anymore. Otherwise it will probably resolve itself when the baby is born via the "no choice" method. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911016 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:43:41 +0000 hilsy85 1911016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bushelandapeck: yay! That gives me hope :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911015 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:42:01 +0000 bushelandapeck 1911015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: we tried to change things as the time got closer to her being born but DS wasn't having any part of it. Lol. He realized quickly that if he was going to get a lot of one on one attnetion, he was going to be getting it from his Dad and its been going pretty well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911014 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:41:22 +0000 looch 1911014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It could be that part of the problem is that you're still there...maybe try leaving all together, so there is no option for you to step in.</p> <p>Ohh, you said that already, sorry! My son had extreme daddy preference for the first two years of his life, now he's swung in the opposite direction and is mommy obsessed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911009 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:40:00 +0000 hilsy85 1911009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bushelandapeck: oh that actually makes me feel better! I was thikning that we had to change this before LO2 comes along, because otherwise it would be a disaster, but I'm glad to hear it's been smooth for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911006 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:39:25 +0000 hilsy85 1911006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ETA don't want it to sound like I"m just shooting down all these ideas! I really do appreciate them. I think part of the problem is that DH gets really discouraged, and then just wants to stop trying, when consistency is really key I think. He is also really tired and just worn out when he gets home, so it's hard for him to have the energy to entertain LO, especially when LO prefers me. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911002 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:38:26 +0000 bushelandapeck 1911002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS had the same thing....right up until DD was born two weeks ago. DH had tried to do lots of things with him and was/still does bath and bedtime every night with him. Once DD was born, DH a had to take over most of the tasks for DS and that has helped their relationship improve a ton. DH takes him out during the day when he's home so I can rest and DS is now asking for him all the time. It's really sweet. :) I wasn't expecting a ton of change and have been pleasantly surprised by how DH has stepped up and how DS has responded to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1911000 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:36:29 +0000 hilsy85 1911000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMccarthy: we do too sometimes, but it REALLY hurts DH's feelings when LO literally pushes him out of the chair, or tells him to leave the room. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1910997 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:35:38 +0000 hilsy85 1910997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lawbee11: @lamariniere: They do of course spend some time together alone--and when I'm out of the house, they do totally fine. But I am just around a lot more than DH, and due to DH's schedule it's tough to make one thing happen really consistently where I am not home (like I would love for them to do a class together, but that just wouldn't work with his schedule every week). </p> <p>@Jess1483: Ha I have no where to go for 24 hours! But I guess even if I did, I think it would just go back to how things are when I get back--I was away for a day in April, and Lo was fine with DH, but then got back and it was the same. </p> <p> @Radish: yes definitely, but as a SAHM I am just around a lot! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1910992 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:33:21 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1910992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we are going through the same thing but it has gotten a bit better as he has gotten older and we kind of just make my husband do certain things and suffer through the screams. It's hard at first but later they adjust. I'm so sorry. I know that is very hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-about-extreme-mommy-preference#post-1910988 Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:31:31 +0000 Radish 1910988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm dealing with this right now, though not as badly as it sounds like you are. I've found out of sight out of mind works best - if she doesn't see me or know I'm around she is much more receptive to doing things with daddy. </p>