https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 18:07:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-1957461 Mon, 24 Nov 2014 08:15:23 +0000 Pancakes 1957461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: Just wanted to let you know that I tried this last night. Baby is 10 weeks today. I let her cry for 3 minutes last night, picked her up and rocked her for a minute, shushed her as I put her back down, and she was out for the next seven hours(!!!) which I think is the longest stretch we've gotten so far! Previously I had only been letting her cry for 1 minute. Thanks so much for sharing your experience and helping a tired mom! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-174379 Thu, 31 May 2012 11:14:30 +0000 Mrs. Pen 174379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: Well, he does sleep on our bed alone. So it's not as much him transitioning from sleeping without us. He takes long naps on our bed as well as goes to bed at 7:30 just fine. So it's moreso just moving him to his bed from ours.</p> <p>I'll have to try it with naps first then, maybe that's the problem. I'll do that today, and see how it goes over the next few days then try night again.<br /> Thanks!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-174142 Thu, 31 May 2012 06:12:50 +0000 sandy 174142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coco Bee: I am no expert - just sharing what worked for us :) I think every baby is different and there may be a few things making it a little difficult and resulting in your LO crying - transitioning away from your bed and transitioning away from sleeping with you. I didn't have to deal with this bc LO slept in her crib at the time...so maybe that's why your LO is crying a bit more/longer. </p> <p>My LO didn't cry for very long (more fussed for awhile and then would hard cry for a few minutes) and probably did it for 3 nights before she started just going to bed without crying...but I worked on naps first (no crying with the above method suggested by my friend) and once I knew she could put herself to sleep I worked on bedtime bc I also nursed before bedtime). </p> <p>My only suggestions are (1) maybe try and wait longer before you go in and soothe (I know some moms wait 5, 10, and 15 minutes - see Mrs.Wagon's posts on sleep training and I think Rubies also did this extinction method) and (2) go in and sooth only for a brief moment - I would only pick her up for like 15 seconds max - for me LO stopped crying the second I picked her up so I knew she was ok so I would just calm her and do my shush/pat to indicate its time for bed and set her back down in her crib. I remember this was the hardest bc then she would start crying right away but I would walk away and this would turn into the hardest cry and I would force myself to wait my self-imposed 3 minutes and 99.9% of the time she would let out the loudest cry and then pass out and be asleep within a minute...i would have my hand on the door almost not able to wait the 3 minutes bc every mom hates to hear their baby cry but she would fall asleep before I got a chance to burst back into the room...that taught me that had I gone in there she wouldn't have fallen asleep. Some moms don't go in to soothe bc it makes the crying worse - this wasn't the case for me. It's so hard but for me I'm so glad I waited and gave her the chance to fall asleep. </p> <p>I know I am just really lucky to have a sleepy child but it was hard for me to "sleep train" and this is what worked for me and I would do it over again in a heartbeat bc i really do believe it is the reason she sleeps 12-13 hours at night and why I'm able to put her to bed awake and not spend hours holding/swaying her to sleep and suffering from arm/neck/back pain. </p> <p>Hang in there and good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-174089 Wed, 30 May 2012 21:59:22 +0000 Mrs. Pen 174089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: I keep rereading your post trying to figure out what i missed. I tried this with LO tonight and it did not work. What i've been doing up until now is nursing him to sleep, or laying with him on our bed, and he's been sleeping on our bed. I want him to sleep in his bed now, he is 3 months old. But he won't! I did our night routine, nursed him, swaddled and burped, then laid him in his bed and sat out of his view. He was fine for nine minutes, only squirming, then fully crying by the tenth minute. I picked him up and shushed/rocked him for 2-3 minutes and repeat. This went on for an hour before he fell asleep. And he was awake half an hour later! It then took an hour for him to go back to sleep, and he's finally been sleeping for an hour. Who knows how long it will last. It's so exhausting!<br /> How many nights did you have to do this before she didn't cry at all? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-99433 Thu, 22 Mar 2012 15:56:15 +0000 littleveesmommy 99433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy - So we were out and about for a few days and LO ended up napping in the stroller, so I had to start nap training again. If LO cries then calms herself down before the 3 minute mark, do I start the timer again? She is trying to nap as I type this and it had been 45 minutes total since I put her down, but she has been fussing herself to sleep on and off. She'd cry for a minute or two very loudly, then fall asleep for 5 minutes, then repeat. I haven't gone in to get her yet since she hasn't cried a full 3 minutes and had been able to soothe herself, but when se starts crying again I don't know what to do. My heart is breaking every time she starts again, but I know she is able to soothe herself! (last night after 3am feeding I let her fuss/cry and she fell asleep after 20 minutes until 8am). This is hard and it sucks, but I know it needs to be done. =\</p> <p>Anyone else have success trying @sandy method? I need some encouragement to stay strong. Hopefully it gets better after a few days. Letting her cry makes me feel like a bad mama. =( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-95889 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 00:57:10 +0000 enjollah 95889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: Hey sandy! I posted a question on your wall when you get the chance :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-95732 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 11:00:16 +0000 sandy 95732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElisaT: that is exactly how I felt when first tried it...I was like "no way is this going to work...she is going to cry and i will have to calm her and pick her up"...the biggest hurdle is actually givin it a try and giving your baby the chance to fall asleep. I'm so happy that it worked for you...it really does feel like a miracle and it really changes your life when you are able to put your baby down and let her fall asleep. Probably around 3 months she would have a harder time and take longer to fall asleep or fuss a little louder or longer but always was able to fall asleep on her own. It is so hard to be confident that your little baby can fall asleep on her own...it is so hard to leave them alone. You did it! Good job mama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-95709 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 08:14:36 +0000 littleveesmommy 95709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy - I do not believe it myself but this morning I decided to give your method a try and... IT WORKED!!! Holy cow. Long story short LO had a really bad poopsplosion so once we got her bathed, change and fed she'd been up for close to an hour, which is her usual morning limit. She was just lying there - no yawns yet but tired, so I swaddled her and jus placed her in her crib then sat in a chair nearby. I told myself it probably won't work - my daughter screams bloody murder usually as soon as her head touches the crib mattress- but she fussed for about 5 minutes and she is asleep!!! It felt like a long time but I was staring my alarm clock down and said "if in 5 minutes she's not asleep I'll pick her up". Wow... I need to try this again for her next nap.</p> <p>I need to go pinch myself..... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-95667 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 22:27:24 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 95667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: This is a HUGE help!! Thank you so much for taking the time to explain your situation and how you went through everything.. step by step! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-95572 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 17:07:00 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 95572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you been using a white noise machine? It didn't work with Little Jacks but it's a life saver with Maisie. We've been getting 4 hour stretches at night with it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-95570 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 17:06:01 +0000 BabyBruins 95570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: thank you so much for taking the time to write this out. Your process is really helpful the way you detailed it out. I might wait another week or two to get started so:<br /> 1) he can get a little more weight on him. He was only 4-12 at birth and should double that weight this week or next.<br /> 2) he is a little bit older gestationally. He is still only supposed to be 5 weeks old even though he was born 11 weeks ago. </p> <p>I know we have to let him cry a little and your suggestion to time it makes a lot of sense. When they are crying it seems like forever, but when you put it on a timer it doesn't seem so bad. I just downloaded a timer to my iPad. Also, it makes me feel better to hear that other moms rocked their baby to sleep, but were able to break that habit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-95558 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 16:50:57 +0000 sandy 95558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyBruins: I cannot encourage you enough to try <a href="http://www.momsoncall.com...it" rel="nofollow">http://www.momsoncall.com...it</a> was so so so helpful to me! </p> <p>I also meant to write that while I would make myself wait the 3 minutes of crying before going in to comfort her, the worst would be the crying right after I would go in to comfort her and set her down - she would sound hysterical, but she would do this maybe 30 seconds and then be dead asleep...so, for me, making myself watch a timer was really helpful...and really, I only had to do it 3-4 times for 2-3 days before she "got it" and would fall asleep on her own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-95555 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 16:42:39 +0000 sandy 95555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyBruins: I definitely agree with others that sleep training is very dependent on each individual baby and you will know best if your baby is ready or not :). And who knows if what worked for me will work for others, but here's what we were able to do with success. Get ready, b/c this is going to be a long one and probably more than you want to know...but here goes:</p> <p>Some background: My baby was 2 days overdue and really big and healthy - 8 lbs 8 oz baby girl delivered via c-section (b/c she couldn't descend past my pelvis...I'm 5 feet and 109 lbs). She is exclusively breastfed and weighed 12 pounds at her 2 month checkup. </p> <p>I think I was just really blessed with a good sleeper...she slept 3-4 hours stretches at 2 weeks and as the weeks went on she sometimes slept 5-6 hours and I think around 6 weeks she slept 8 hours once...so I knew she was capable of sleeping long stretches, but the norm was 3-4 hours stretches. Probably around 6-8 weeks she was waking more and more frequently so I was spending more and more time holding/swaying her and also nursing her to sleep. I was physically exhausted and in pain from holding her so much and it just didn't make sense to keep feeding her so frequently. The books and her doctor told me that more frequent feedings only lead to more waking up and it's not a healthy cycle...baby is crying b/c he/she needs to sleep more not have her stomach constantly filled...especially b/c my baby was big and healthy and thriving...she didn't need to be fed so frequently. Also, she had shown me that she could sleep 8 hour stretches without a feeding.</p> <p>The books/resources I used were Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (not helpful to me), Babywise (SO helpful and not extreme like everyone says...it does NOT say to withhold feedings if your baby is hungry), Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (informative, but not that helpful for practical tips) and Moms on Call (it's an online course developed by pediatric nurses THAT WAS SO HELPFUL...basically summarizes what all the books say and helped us get into a really great routine - <a href="http://www.momsoncall.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.momsoncall.com</a>).</p> <p>For naps, I was basically waiting until she was so tired and basically let her fall asleep while I held/swayed her and then put her in a swaddle and put her in her crib when she was asleep, but she would wake up as soon as I set her down and I would have to start over again. If I tried to leave her she would cry and cry and it would break my heart. </p> <p>I was talking to another mom friend about how all the books say to put baby down "drowsy but awake" and how I didn't understand that. She said to try to put the baby in her crib about 15 minutes earlier than I was doing and to watch VERY carefully for tired signs...yawning is usually a sign that baby is past the tired stage. Babywise also says try to put baby down earlier for naps if baby is crying when you put her down...and most babies can only stay awake 45-60 minutes between naps (this includes the time you spend feeding...and Healthy Sleep Habits says that some babies even up to 5 months can only stay awake 1 hour at a time)...basically if baby is overtired, baby will cry and fight sleep b/c they have so much adrenaline from being kept awake. </p> <p>So I watched her carefully (and also kept track of the time) and as soon as I saw her start to yawn I would do the following routine - make a shushing sound and pat her back and I carried her to her room, turned on the white noise machine, put her in her swaddle and keep making the shushing sound as I put her in her crib. Then I sat in a chair where she couldn't see me and turned on the timer on my phone. I was so sure it was going to be total failure and there would be no way she would fall asleep...I was convinced that she needed me to hold/sway her to sleep. It was almost like magic...she kind of fussed, but never full out cried (and I told myself I would only go pick her up to comfort her if she cried for 3 minutes)...well, after fussing around in her crib for maybe 10-15 minutes, she fell asleep and stayed asleep...it was a miracle! So I basically did this for all her naps and it worked.</p> <p>Bedtime was so much harder for me. And Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child explains that day sleep is different than night sleep in terms of what is going on in the baby's brain. Even though we got naps down easily and I wasn't as physically exhausted from holding her for every nap, I was still holding/swaying her for bedtime b/c she was still crying...and it was just like they described in the Babywise book - I was holding/swaying her to sleep and the minute I set her down in the crib, her eyes would pop open and she would start crying...and then it would be "take it from the top" and starting over again with singing/holding/swaying...</p> <p>What ended up working for me was following the Mom On Call schedule for 0-3 month old babies and once we had a good day routine in terms of naps and feedings, I gained more confidence that she wasn't hungry and that she was tired and ready for bed...and the bedtime routine we did was after her catnap, we would play for a little bit, then give her a bath, then lotion, pjs, diaper, white noise machine, last feeding, and then swaddle.</p> <p>Then I had to mentally commit myself that I would set her down and only go pick her up to comfort her if she cried more than 3 minutes. I told myself no more swaying/holding to sleep b/c I couldn't keep doing it physically...my back was starting to kill me and she was still little and I didn't want to be doing it as she got older/bigger. </p> <p>So I would set her down and set the timer on my phone and even though she no longer cried during her naps, she did cry during bedtime, but honestly it wasn't that bad. She would cry and if it was a full on cry I would make myself wait the 3 minutes, then I would go pick her up and hold her until she was calmed down (my baby would stop crying immediately) and the make a shush sound and pat her and set her back down...and usually she would start crying again, but I would make myself wait the 3 minutes. I knew she was okay b/c the minute I would go pick her up, she would stop crying...and I think she got it that I wasn't going to hold her for hours, so after doing it a few times, she would stop crying and fall asleep...and stayed asleep for 6-8 hours. It's hard to describe, but you can tell the difference in their cries...and the crying seems like forever without a timer, but when you watch the timer you realize they aren't crying for long and at least with my baby, she would kind of calm herself after a minute...and then maybe fuss for 3-4 minutes and sometimes she would fall asleep and other times she would cry again...then I would reset the timer and make myself wait another 3 minutes...it was rare that she cried for 3 minutes...maybe I would have to go pick her up and calm her 3-4 times, but that was better than the hours of holding/swaying to sleep...and when she fell asleep, she stayed asleep for 6-8 hours...and really, she only cried 2-3 days where she needed me to come in and comfort her...after that, she was able to fall asleep herself with just some fussing.</p> <p>As she got older, she would occasionally do a 10 hour stretch (maybe around 11 weeks)...so I knew she was able to sleep for long stretches without a feeding...so if I heard her on the monitor after 6-8 hours, I would wait and she would never cry...just fuss...and would fall back asleep...sometimes it would take her 10-15 minutes, but she would go back to sleep. It is so hard at first b/c you want to always comfort and hold and feed your baby...but sometimes they need to be left alone to sleep. My baby is 4 months and 1 week now and she sleeps 12-13 hours at night and takes 3 naps a day (lasting at least 1.5 hours and sometimes 3 hours)...with sometimes a 30 minute catnap before bedtime.</p> <p>There have been some set backs and nap issues as she got older (waking from naps at 30 to 45 minutes), but the lesson I learned is if I left her alone, she would fall back asleep 90% of the time.</p> <p>Sorry this isn't all organized and well thought out, but I wanted to get back to you sooner rather than later...I know in the moment it is all you can think about. So this was what worked for me and I'm SOOO happy that my husband convinced me to do this. I know every baby is different and every situation is different, but this is what worked for me. And believe me, I NEVER thought it was going to work...I was convinced that I would have to hold/sway/sing her to bed for hours until she was a year old...but we started at 9 weeks and it only took a few days without much crying at all.</p> <p>Best of luck and if you have any questions or need some support, please feel free to message me or send me an email and write back (I promise!) or I'll give you my phone number and will try to be there for you. </p> <p>No matter what, even if sleep training doesn't work right now, you are doing a GREAT job and being the best mother to your baby :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-95256 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 12:53:18 +0000 Maysprout 95256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband was in charge of her night time because with me she just wanted to nurse. I'd nurse her then he'd swaddle her and sing her a couple songs and then put her down. If she cried he'd pick her up and get her back to sleep and then put her down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-95244 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 12:39:34 +0000 BabyBruins 95244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Swaddling is part of our winding down routine and we just had to switch to the miracle blanket bc he was breaking out of the A&amp;A blankets. he is also taking the pacifier more as we are winding down.<br /> I think i just need some reassurance that he is still little now and the rocking will not ruin him later and we can break that habit.<br /> If I shouldn't be rocking him, then what are some other tricks? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-94966 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 08:29:23 +0000 looch 94966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Swaddle if you can, but just take some comfort in the fact that not all babies are ready for sleep training so young. It took us 3 tries and it finally worked at 9 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-94963 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 08:26:24 +0000 heffalump 94963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm no help. Lo is almost 8 months old and needs movement to fall asleep still. She would never nap if I set her down when she was a newborn, and we aren't into letting her cry it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-94949 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 08:08:42 +0000 mrs. wagon 94949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We swaddled, rocked, and used a pacifier until we sleep trained at 4 months. Since he was such a fat baby, the rocking was a GREAT workout. Goodness gracious. Sleep training took 2-4 weeks (nap training another 2 weeks or so) and he's slept thru the night and fallen asleep on his own every night since EXCEPT when he's sick. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-94911 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 05:58:12 +0000 pelikila 94911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you swaddle? It is the only thing that worked for us. That and a pacifier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-94894 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 02:16:32 +0000 littleveesmommy 94894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@enjollah - Yea that's my logic right now too! She's still young and I'll nurse her if she is rooting. If ages just crying cause she's overtired I'll avoid nursing to sleep. However, nursing is part of my bedtime routine. Is that the norm or am I not supposed to do that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-94870 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 00:29:17 +0000 enjollah 94870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am also looking forward to what @sandy has to say :) My LO (4 weeks) will stay asleep during the transfer but a lot of times will wake up a minute later! I do the very motherly thing and pick him up! (and worry about whether I'm creating a bad habit but at the same time don't want him leave him alone and cry)</p> <p>@ElisaT: I sometimes comfort nurse but mainly at night time. I figure for now since he's still little, it's okay but later on, I'll need to figure out how to break the habit... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-94865 Thu, 15 Mar 2012 23:54:14 +0000 littleveesmommy 94865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybruins - I'm going through the same thought process now. LO is 6 weeks and I've had to rock her to sleep during naps or else she wouldn't stay down! If she is being extra fussy sometimes I nurse her to nap. I know that's a bad habit but certain days my sanity was more important. =\</p> <p>@sandy - Can't wait to read what you have to say!</p> <p>Anyone have LO's that comfort nurse before nap time? How and when did you break that habit? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-94862 Thu, 15 Mar 2012 23:47:34 +0000 BabyBruins 94862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: thanks for the reply. I look forward to hearing what you did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-94858 Thu, 15 Mar 2012 23:41:24 +0000 sandy 94858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I started "sleep training" right around 9 weeks. She was getting too heavy/big for me to hold/sway to bed and I knew she would only get bigger/heavier. Once you decide to go for it be confident tha your baby can do it and that it is the best thing for him/her. I'll write more later bc I'm on my phone now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-before-sleep-training#post-94789 Thu, 15 Mar 2012 21:33:52 +0000 BabyBruins 94789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my LO is too small to sleep train (10.5 weeks, 4.5 adjusted), but what I'm doing now is not working. I have to rock him to sleep for every nap and bedtime and that is taking longer and longer each time and he is waking up during the transfer. He rarely naps in his crib and usually only stays asleep if I am holding him. We have a definite bedtime routine that we stick to, but naps are a much looser routine.<br /> I'm terrified that I am creating a bad habit by rocking him to sleep, but he won't sleep otherwise.<br /> Any suggestions or just wait a few more weeks and sleep train? </p>