https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 01:00:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1269144 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 11:57:02 +0000 Revel 1269144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Thanks! It's worked a few times for MOTN wakings this last week (always has been an easier time for her to get herself back to sleep), so my next step is to try for initially going down - that's going to be this week since the crankiness from the shots seems to have subsided. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1269052 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 11:26:21 +0000 Foodnerd81 1269052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Revel: That is a huge step that she can fall asleep with you patting or just being in the room with her! I think that's a really good sign that she will be able to fall asleep on her own soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1269042 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 11:23:33 +0000 Revel 1269042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update: So I've been a little erratic because LO got her shots and was super fussy for a few days, but I've still been trying to not have her in a total deep sleep when I lay her down. She had a bad few nights (Fri-Sat) and then last night was an improvement, so maybe we were passing through the worse-before-better stage. </p> <p>Also new is that if I lay her down and just pat or sometimes just stay in the room with her, she will wriggle around but will settle to sleep. I think this is a big step! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1256403 Tue, 03 Dec 2013 13:33:40 +0000 Revel 1256403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: Haha, so there is no one size fits all approach with these babies! :) I was of the mind that I would just nurse to sleep until it wasn't working and it reaaaally isn't working for us right now, but maybe it will start to again.</p> <p>I also agree with what you said about it sometimes being a longer haul without CIO. We've been dealing with at least two night wakings her whole life so I thought I was prepared but the last few weeks have been on a whole 'nother level. I'm hopeful with a little help I can get her back to just a few wakings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1256364 Tue, 03 Dec 2013 13:14:29 +0000 Kemma 1256364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just another perspective but six months is when I started nursing to sleep for 99% of sleep! Miss A started crawling, hit a wonder week and started cutting six teeth (!) and I think she needed (and still does need) the sucking action / reflex to relax and wind down enough to sleep. A is now 14 months and has just started to STTN on occasion and she has been putting herself to sleep. </p> <p>Overall, her sleep over the last months has been up and down regardless of what I've done to help it, we also don't CIO and I think you have to be prepared for the long haul using more gentle methods. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1256071 Tue, 03 Dec 2013 11:54:48 +0000 Boheme 1256071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Revel: C follows the sucky sleep leaps to a T! Lucky me! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1255913 Tue, 03 Dec 2013 11:16:43 +0000 Revel 1255913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@delight: I hope you'll avoid this situation! My LO was pretty much like yours, although has always sometimes been disturbed on transfer. She also will take a bottle and go down for others fine on the odd days we've done that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1255908 Tue, 03 Dec 2013 11:15:47 +0000 Revel 1255908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: Thanks for that. If I start to see ANY improvement I will stick with it.</p> <p>Also realized we're coming to the end of this wonder week and hopefully closing the fifth leap! I don't know how well the wonder weeks line up with my LO but her sleep went downhill right at the start of this leap, so maybe brighter days are just around the corner! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1255890 Tue, 03 Dec 2013 11:11:07 +0000 Boheme 1255890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Revel: I've heard a couple of times to give the Pantley method at least three weeks to work. We really need to get back to following it religiously... We got down to one wake up a night, got lazy, and now we're back at 3-4. Its still infinitely better than 10-13 wake ups a night, which is what we originally dealt with! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1255650 Tue, 03 Dec 2013 09:45:12 +0000 Revel 1255650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Thanks for that reminder - I know I need to be patient with this method at least for a few days before trying something else. I do wait when she wakes - in the past she would start squirming and fussing, sometimes cry out but often would go back. These days she pretty much wakes full on crying, so I'll wait maybe a minute but then go to her. I'm not sure if that's right or wrong.</p> <p>@Modern Daisy: I hope you will dodge this bullet! Co sleeping has been hit or miss for us but is (un)fortunately working well for the baby during this regression. I keep thinking I'm fostering bad habits though. At least I'm almost halfway through if this lasts two months, haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1255631 Tue, 03 Dec 2013 09:40:21 +0000 delight 1255631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm going to follow this thread. LO is 3.5 months and I nurse her to sleep for naps and bedtime. She falls asleep so easily at the boob. Like I sit down on the couch in her room, she starts eating and is fast asleep within 5 minutes. I can easily transfer her to crib and she doesn't wake up. However, I don't want to do this much longer. I want to be able to go out and have DH put her to sleep and I want others to be able to put her down for naps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1255624 Tue, 03 Dec 2013 09:38:51 +0000 Modern Daisy 1255624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am dreading this phase as I have heard it happens with most babies at around 6 months and we are only at 3.5 months. My friend had this same exact problem, her baby was 'almost' sleeping through the night then when they hit 6 months suddenly started waking every hour. It lasted almost 2 months. She was also against CIO so they just kept feeding/holding her until they couldn't take it anymore and would bring her to bed with them, where she slept great. </p> <p>I don't think this would work for me though since I have tried putting DS in our bed with us when he's been fussy and it has never worked. There are just times when he will wake up and be mad no matter what, usually when he wakes up for the day too early like at 4:30 or 5am. When we really need sleep, we just leave him in his crib for those last couple of hours even if he's screaming. It's pretty rare that it happens, but even if we were to hold him he would still be screaming and mad so we figure at least we'll get some sleep before work that day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1255620 Tue, 03 Dec 2013 09:37:31 +0000 Foodnerd81 1255620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Revel: It definitely takes a few days, and it will get worse before it gets better. I think what you are doing sounds like a good plan-- you are letting her get used to falling asleep on her own, and eventually, hopefully, she will being able to resettle herself when she wakes up between sleep cycles. Are you also waiting a few minutes before picking her up at night? Sometimes C will make noises, even cry out once or twice, but go right back to sleep (or maybe she was never awake at all). I try to always wait at least 5 minutes in the middle of the night before going in to her, unless she is really crying. And really, sleep is always changing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1255598 Tue, 03 Dec 2013 09:29:13 +0000 Revel 1255598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: Thanks for the details. It is helpful to know that someone who started from where we are now has a decent sleeper!</p> <p>So, an update: last night I tried unlatching her and letting her settle when she was in that light sleep zone. She actually went down with only being picked up once, and slept for two+ hours, but then was up every hour until I caved and brought her in bed around 3am. Sigh. SO is getting frustrated and I think wants to CIO but I'm just not there yet. I do most of the night work anyway. Hopeful that if I stick with Pantley's suggestions for a week we'll see some results. </p> <p>Reading this did help this morning though:</p> <p><a href="http://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/haggard-mother-sleep-training-method" rel="nofollow">http://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/haggard-mother-sleep-training-method</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1255000 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 21:23:51 +0000 immabeetoo 1255000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Revel: yep, he would do the same thing, cry the second he shifted away from me and I picked him right back up and restarted. Looking back, I think I maybe would've put him in the crib gently, and then walked out and down to the kitchen and back. Now that I "know" his sleep a lot better he will sometimes squawk even when he is going down awake but be quiet within 30 seconds -- in the beginning I didn't even leave the room unless he was crying. </p> <p>He didn't calm with shushing or patting at first either,and it killed my back, but it was worth it! I know what you mean about feeling like it would be easier to transfer asleep. It really goes against your gut to put them down ALMOST asleep at first, I think you have to commit to doing it for a few days to give it a chance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1254369 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 16:08:34 +0000 Revel 1254369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Thanks for replying here and on the other thread. It sounds like separating the nursing from going down for the night is going to be key - I'll just have to figure out how that works for our timing in the evening but I'm sure it can be done. </p> <p>Right now I'd be happy to just be able to get her down easier, and deal with MOTN waking down the line</p> <p>To your question about her being full, she'll nurse for a long time at bedtime, but it kind of varies how actively she is nursing. It doesn't seem like hunger is what is waking her right now but it wouldn't hurt to be sure she got a good feed in while she was actually awake.</p> <p>You've all given me a lot to think about. I'll have to see how I'm going to implement it - not sure if a Monday night is the right day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1254299 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 15:47:10 +0000 Foodnerd81 1254299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were in the same boat where nursing to sleep just stopped working. We ended up doing CIO, but did a gradual transition first. Like grizz, I did her real feeding before the bedtime routine. So in the living room, lights on, talking, and rubbing her feet or cheeks or whatever I had to do to keep her awake. Then we m would change her, sleep sack, story, and I'd nurse her to sleep in her room- that way she was already full. Maybe she's falling asleep before being really full?</p> <p>After our CIO (which wasn't as bad as I feared) we now do feeding in living room, then change, sleep sack, book, songs, lay her in bed. Patting and shushing didn't do anything for her. </p> <p>That said her night wake ups are still not great. We are working on naps now, then I'll try to cut back on the wake ups. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1253491 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 11:54:35 +0000 cascademom 1253491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Revel: It definitely seems counter intuitive, but they just go with the flow. Basically, you're their wakeup, not them. It prolongs sleep for both baby and mom. At first, I wasn't sure of it, but it made the transition to better sleep helpful. I stopped doing the dream feed right around the time I was weaning. Actually, we were on an inlaws trip and I didn't have the energy to go and feed him. He didn't notice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1253455 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 11:45:01 +0000 Revel 1253455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cascademom: You know I've never tried a dream feed, but I wonder if that would help get her on a better schedule and help with self soothing. It seems so counterintuitive to disturb a sleeping baby but I know it works great for a lot of people. Thanks for the suggestion!</p> <p>@mjane: Around the same time my LO did start being able to put herself to sleep sometimes, and she actually used to be able to do so for more of her night wakings, but it's almost as though she forgot how the last few weeks. I think leaving her to fuss a little bit more than I usually do may be a good step to take also. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1253385 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 11:17:58 +0000 mjane 1253385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is obviously not the norm, but the week I ordered the No Cry Sleep Solution (which looked great), my baby basically sleep-trained herself. I.e., at around five months she suddenly stopped falling asleep while nursing, and refused to be rocked, and learned to put herself to sleep with just a minute or two of crying. </p> <p>I just wanted to say that I thought we would be nursing to sleep until middle school, so even though your baby may seem like she won't fall asleep any other way, there is hope!! Good luck!</p> <p>(I was not really up for CIO, but letting her fuss a little has been easier than I thought it would be. She really surprised me with her ability to go to sleep without the boob, and I bet yours will too, eventually!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1253383 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 11:17:36 +0000 cascademom 1253383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before doing CIO at 6 months old, we introduced a dream feed around 10-11pm. We did the normal bedtime routine, etc., then I would wake up around 10pm with DH's help, dream feed, then he would sleep until almost 6am. I highly recommend dream feeds. It put LO on our schedule not his which were steps to self soothing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1253353 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 11:05:14 +0000 Revel 1253353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: Thanks for commenting, I remembered you used No Cry Sleep Solution. What did you do in those first few days when you put him down? Pick up when he cried and just repeat? Right now if I lay her down she usually starts crying the moment her head touches the mattress, and will only be soothed by being picked up again. I can't pat through the crib rails or shush and calm her or anything.</p> <p>Glad to hear you've had such good success with it. I know I need to just bite the bullet and try to work on getting her to fall asleep on her own. It just seems easier in the moment to wait to put her down until she's really sound asleep, but I know it isn't really. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1253340 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 11:00:29 +0000 immabeetoo 1253340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Revel: we did no cry sleep solution as well, if you search there are a few threads about it. We rocked, not nursed, but basically started with him 90% asleep, like eyes closed but still muscle tone and then worked from there. It took about 3 days for him to really "get it" and then less than a week until he was going in wide awake/happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1253308 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 10:41:38 +0000 Revel 1253308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: Thanks for explaining! Some of this is so abstract so it helps to hear how people actually do things. The two bedtime feeds might work for us. She's not a great napper so usually if I nurse her anytime after 6pm she starts conking out (possibly part of our night waking problem as well) but she might tolerate being disturbed for bath and stuff and then a quick nursing session.</p> <p>I would be happy if LO would take the paci at night these days! It helps her a ton for naps but winds her up at night for some reason. I've still been trying in these last few weeks of bad sleep, but I know I'm probably better off in the long run that she doesn't take it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1253248 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 10:25:06 +0000 Boheme 1253248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Revel: I started feeding him twice before bed - once before his bath and jammies, and then a quick one right before bed. I end the quick session as soon as I see his eyes getting heavy. Then I put him down in his crib, turn on white noise, put his pacifier in, and pat his back or bottom until he's almost asleep. I stop when his eyes are fluttering and heavy so that he's still falling asleep on his own. </p> <p>Its a PUPD method with unlatching or removing the pacifier, but we cheat and still let him sleep with his pacifier. I imagine his sleep would be better if we took it away right before bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1253212 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 10:12:31 +0000 Revel 1253212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: Thanks! I have the book actually but haven't read in too much detail but I gather it is a kind of PUPD coupled with unlatching LO progressively until they don't fall asleep while nursing?</p> <p>How did this work for you in practice? I find that LO can't help but fall asleep while nursing. Was C awake when you were putting him down when you first started or just less deeply asleep? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1253202 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 10:09:34 +0000 Boheme 1253202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've had a lot of success with the No Cry Sleep Solution book! Its a pick up, put down method that gently teaches baby to sleep on his or her own. C no longer needs to be nursed to sleep, and he sleeps much longer stretches than he used to. I got the recommendation for it from some other Bees :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-nursing-to-sleep-stops-working#post-1253184 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 10:05:39 +0000 Revel 1253184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is six months old. She had been a decent night sleeper from about months 3 - 5.5, with two wake ups to eat and then would go right back to sleep. I would nurse her down and she would maybe stir on transfer but her first stretch of sleep would be 4-7 hours.</p> <p>For the last two or three weeks, her sleep has been terrible. We are getting 3-4 wake ups at least. She's not hungry at most of them - mainly she is just angry she's awake. </p> <p>I think I need to stop nursing to sleep to help her get herself to sleep if she stirs in the night. I'm not even sure how to do this because she falls asleep while nursing but is still eating. If I try to rouse her, she wails, and then I just end up holding her until I can put her down, a couple of tries at least.</p> <p>I don't plan to CIO. Does anyone have any suggestions or experience on how to fix bedtime to maybe get over this hurdle, without CIO? </p>