https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 20:29:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717848 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:52:31 +0000 bubblegum 2717848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pwnstar: Thank you :heart: YES! Isn't it mind blowing. Like we don't have to be best friends but we should have an open line of communication. When she acts like this it really makes me want to just cut her off and call it a day </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717847 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:51:23 +0000 bubblegum 2717847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: Thanks love! UGH I would love to but her smartass would probably be like okay that's fine! And I really don't have someone for these last three weeks. This is so annoying </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717845 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:50:19 +0000 bubblegum 2717845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: Well this morning DH addressed her about something and she was so snippy!!! I was like see I told you! It's not just me she has some type of issue and honestly I could care less but you have to communicate with me about my kid. EXACTLY! And that's my issue like there are things I need to you tell you or maybe something you have to tell me. ANDDDDD you get paid to watch him let's not act like it's a free ride. Her time of watching her is coming to and end in less than a month which is why DH doesn't want to have a full on discussion and I get it but SOMETHING has to happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717844 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:49:36 +0000 pwnstar 2717844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: I'm sorry you're dealing with this - it really (REALLY) sucks and is so damn draining. It took me a long time to realize that some people just aren't capable of getting out of their own head/way or having an *adult* relationship for the benefit of the kiddos. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717842 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:47:21 +0000 bubblegum 2717842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pwnstar: Oh it's already happening! We have a little less than a month to go! Thank the LORD! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717839 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:46:10 +0000 psw27 2717839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: Um yeah I can't deal with that kind of childish nonsense. Especially super pregnant. She needs to really grow up. I think I would call her bluff and say that I wasn't going to have her watch DS anymore unless she is able to communicate with you face to face. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717838 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:44:38 +0000 kiddosc 2717838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably call her out on being childish (or make DH do it). You told her there was an issue you wanted to discuss and she's avoiding you. She doesn't come down in the morning when you drop off your child? That wouldn't fly with me at all. What if I needed to tell her he had a rough night, or ask what they're doing that day, or if she needed more diapers. I wouldn't be using her as a sitter, immediately, if I couldn't discuss it with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717837 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:43:50 +0000 bubblegum 2717837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: Your guess is as good as mine! Me either!! It unnecessary! Last year we went from speaking almost daily to nothing, when I addressed her about she said it was nothing and that she's just been busy. A few months later (when she was ready) she told me she was upset about a comment I made, WHICH was not even what I said. SO she was upset about a comment that NEVER happened. Thanks love I'm really trying to hang in there and not it let it get to me but it's easier said than done </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717836 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:43:47 +0000 pwnstar 2717836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: If she won't communicate with you (she won't even come down/meet you at drop off? seriously?!), I would find alternative child care. Communication between parents and caregivers is so critical - her behavior would seriously undermine my confidence in her ability to adequately care for my child. </p> <p>Eta: I had a similar situation with a relative. Long story short, my family's quality of life was significantly improved when we found alternative care (a center that we absolutely love). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717831 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:37:17 +0000 psw27 2717831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: Is she upset about something specific? I really can't stand childish stuff like this. grrr. I'm sorry you are dealing with this with weeks left in your pregnancy.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717829 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:35:52 +0000 bubblegum 2717829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: I really really REALLY want to but I know she'll try to dodge it, no matter how direct I might be about it. Which will annoy me to the high heavens considering I have to see her face until I pop out my babe </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717824 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:26:58 +0000 psw27 2717824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This would drive me crazy. I tend to be pretty non-confrontational in these sorts of situations. I don't know what I would do. I guess if it bothered me enough I would probably text or email her saying that a discussion needed to be had if she kept trying to avoid me in person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717820 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:07:57 +0000 bubblegum 2717820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: It is my MIL and THANK GOD she does not live with me and nor I her with her. She watches DS and in the mornings when we drop him off she will not come down and when picking him up it's still impossible to get a word if either because she'll dodge us or have us pick him up outside of her home (example: supermarket) </p> <p>It's driving me NUTS!!!! I know I have a short period of time but it's the not being able to speak to her face to face about DS that is taking me overboard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717789 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 11:23:41 +0000 Truth Bombs 2717789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: I'm assuming this is a mother or MIL, does this person live with you? You say she "won't come down in the morning". Honestly, if someone was unwilling to have open and honest communication with me, I would ask them to find somewhere else to live (or move out if I'm in their space). I would not want to live with that kind of stress and no where to get away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717780 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:58:35 +0000 bubblegum 2717780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: Thankfully it actually is coming to an end in less than a month. With DD being born though I know she'll try to brush it all under the rug as if nothing had happened and be buddy buddy. YES an example of her attempting to undermine me is when DS is acting up and I'm in the middle of handling of it and she feels the need to say something. SO ANNOYING! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717773 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:49:50 +0000 youboots 2717773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: is it possible to do something else for childcare? I know it may be a stretch but I'd worry that this person would undermine my relationship with my child. My grandma (Dad mom) does not care for my mother and still make all kinds of passive aggressive side comments about her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717767 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:41:35 +0000 bubblegum 2717767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: Childcare so it make it VERY difficult when I have to talk to her about things and she does everything in her power to avoid me. For the last three weeks I've been having to text her instead of talking face to face because she doesn't come down in the morning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717762 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:36:29 +0000 youboots 2717762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: why do you have to deal with them daily? Do they provide childcare or do you work together? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717757 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:25:11 +0000 bubblegum 2717757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Academicsocialite: I agree. I don't want to make it worst but it makes things so uncomfortable. I have tired that and they'll brush it off and act like everything is fine and then months later the truth comes out. </p> <p> @youboots: Oh no not my spouse! He has no choice but to hash it out if problems occur lol for better or worst buddy!! I honestly have considered it because it's so annoying. It's an in law and in the past as annoying as it was I didn't have to deal with them daily but now that I do, it's overwhelming. I try to do the same. I give it about a week or two, just to see if the person s having an off week or whatever but if it continues then I address it but it honestly falls on deaf ears. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717751 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:18:23 +0000 youboots 2717751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is it your spouse? If not do you live with this person? Have you considered therapy alone?</p> <p>I will say I'm on team avoid until I cool down. I can get really ragey and say awful things if I don't get some time and space from a person/situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717750 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:18:11 +0000 Academicsocialite 2717750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it kind of depends on what you think you need to get out of it. In so many cases, trying to force someone to deal with a problem only makes it worse. In a best case scenario, I think you can name it - i.e. "I feel that there's tension between us. It is affecting me in [x] way. I realize you don't want to discuss it, but I want to acknowledge that it's there. If there's a time when you're ready to discuss it with me, I'll be here." But at the same time, there may not be a short-term solution if they are reluctant to hash it out. But at least you've said your piece. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-to-do-when-you-cant-do-anything#post-2717746 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:07:22 +0000 bubblegum 2717746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When you have a relationship with someone and they only wish to communicate about problems that may be occurring between the both of you, on their time and when their ready...what do you do? </p> <p>We're talking a family member you have to deal with daily. The tension is high but they refuse to talk...then what? </p>