https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 06:08:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2461967 Mon, 15 Feb 2016 12:43:49 +0000 sapphire 2461967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't call it a reservation because I've always planned to have children, but less travel<br /> Was the thing that I felt like I would be grieving. However we've found that our way of travel and amount is different. We've taken several weekend getaways in the last 11 months (3 with LO and one alone) and we have a weeklong trip to Mexico coming up after she turns 1. Over time it should get easier and even more exciting g to show her the world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2461148 Sun, 14 Feb 2016 02:47:01 +0000 tofuwad 2461148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me it's mostly been a deep seated fear that I will pass on the disordered thinking I inherited from my bipolar addict mother. I grew up in a very chaotic environment and am a big control freak with serious trust issues because of it. To deal with the environment I grew up in I ended up cutting some wires (so to speak) and am pretty closed off emotionally. I was very worried about being able to express love for my children (I'm a very reserved person). </p> <p>I definitely find it so so easy to express the love and pride and joy I have in my daughter. I do worry about when she's older (like a teenager) because I don't have a good relationship with my mother and I've always just been a mother to my enabler father. So I definitely lean on my husband and try to use his relationship with his parents as a guide to what a healthy relationship looks like. </p> <p>With most typical newborn/baby things I think HB prepared me fairly well. I owe this website so much of my sanity! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2461095 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 22:17:22 +0000 ElbieKay 2461095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I really don't know why I never got around to quitting nursing! I think I am just stubborn. I was like, "Those formula companies are not going to get the best of introverted me!!!!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2461046 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 20:33:43 +0000 stiletto_mom 2461046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1) Keeping my identity, interests, and lifestyle. I mean I know some thing will have to be reduced, but I'm afraid of losing myself.</p> <p>2) Money </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2461044 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 20:31:26 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2461044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Giving birth was probably my most immediate fear and the contractions were as bad as I anticipated (low pain tolerance) but I ended up with a c section and will have one with any future babies which has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. Sleep was a concern but I've learned to deal with less. Managing work and home was a big fear and I admit that I am still struggling to balance. Hoping I will figure it out soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2460874 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 15:32:17 +0000 rockinghorse 2460874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>hmm... My fears are keeping up with life, lost alone time, and adjustments to our marriage. I'm really more excited about the adventure though! :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2460840 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 14:33:04 +0000 Happygal 2460840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sleeeeeep. I was worried about feeling tortured. At 1, she's just starting to sleep through the night. But I'm a deficit and always feel like I could use more.</p> <p>I miss going out to eat last minute, but not that much. Guess we're saving a lot of $$ and calories this way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2460801 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 13:28:04 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 2460801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just really loved my life prior to kids.So I was worried about how much it would change. I was worried about not being able to travel, sleep well, relax, have any "me time". And well, I don't get any of those things anymore haha but its all worth it. Life changed drastically and most days I look forward to my LO's nap times but life is way more fun and full of joy now :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2460761 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 11:45:26 +0000 MoonMoon 2460761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was afraid of being a bad parent. I realize now that it's more of a day to day process, and I'm pretty ok as a parent (though always with room for improvement). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2460710 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 09:40:49 +0000 travelgirl1 2460710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Giving birth was really the only thing I was worried about and I ended up having two c-sections so didn't have to face my fears :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2460684 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 08:54:14 +0000 SweetiePie 2460684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: We are the same in a lot of ways I think and that's a big reason why I was so afraid to nurse! I felt so trapped and that's why I eventually gave up trying at 1 month. Kudos to you for sticking with it so much longer! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2460683 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 08:49:13 +0000 SweetiePie 2460683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Free time/down time, freedom and missing my relationship with my husband as it was pre-kids. </p> <p>Free time - I am a homebody and really like alone time every day. I was miserable the first couple of months while I adjusted. It was strange, even though he slept a lot it took me a while to embrace his naps as my time to relax. I always felt like I had to be doing something since I was home. Dishes or cleaning the bathroom or whatever. Once I let go of that and gave myself "free time" to do what I wanted I became WAYYYYY happier. It also made me obsessive about his naps, but that's another story. This is also why I'm afraid to have another. If they don't nap at the same time, I'm scared of no alone time. So I want to wait till my son is in school or at least preschool so I have a big chunk of the day that's just me and baby. </p> <p>- freedom. This one was hard for a while. I did insist on going out of the house alone or wth friends early on. But losing the complete freedom to not worry about anything but myself and what I felt like doing was hard. It's much MUCH better now since my husband is completely confident in caring for him at 17 months. I pretty much make plans when I want. Still don't have spontaneity but I can live with it. I also wonder if this loss of freedom is harder on first time moms who are a little older. I was 33 when I had him and had been pretty much on my own since college. I lived alone in Manhattan and really had a lot of freedom and fun! My sister had her first at 24 and was getting her masters right out of college while working full time. So she didn't have a lot of freedom or life experiences to "miss". But of course she has more of the "what ifs" than I do. </p> <p>- missing my relationship prebaby. This one was a doozie. I might have had a little bit of anxiety or depression towards the end of my pregnancy as I think of it more. I would lay in bed for hours at night crying thinking about how much our relationship and lives would change. We have been together (on and off but mostly on) for 16 years! And of course 15 of that was just the two of us so I was so afraid of the adjustment. Unfortunately we DID hit a really rough patch, but I almost wonder if it was self fulfilling prophecy. Like I was so afraid of it that I almost forced it. But we are now pretty much the same as before which is such a relief. Sure, it's different and sometimes I miss being Each other's sole focus. But it's a lot better in many ways too. But again, I'm afraid of what another baby would do! Hopefully since it's less of a shock to the system we will handle it much better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2460666 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 08:24:40 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2460666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sleep was my big fear, and turns out it was warranted. The lack of sleep has been really really hard on me, but we have survived and we are all okay :) I am happy to hopefully be coming out of the worst of it now that my daughter is almost 1. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2460663 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 08:14:52 +0000 ElbieKay 2460663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am an introvert. I need downtime to feel sane. I had no idea how I would balance that need with a baby.</p> <p>It turns out that it took about a year and a half to find a balance, and I was pretty miserable until I did. Nursing made it especially tough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2459454 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 08:04:08 +0000 looch 2459454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The major one I had was developmental delays/health issues because I have a sibling that was born with developmental delays.</p> <p>Poor sleep didn't even cross my mind, oh was I clueless on that one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2459441 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 07:58:06 +0000 ms.line 2459441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had a LOT of concerns about having a kid, including dealing with shitty sleep, establishing a decent work/life balance, maintaining my relationship with my husband, money, not being able to travel, childcare, turning into a resentful nag, etc. I'll actually be having a baby any day now, so we'll see how those things work themselves out. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2459407 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 07:34:51 +0000 cat620 2459407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: I totally understand this. My husband and I love to travel, even if it's just for a weekend away. So it's been a big adjustment for us after having our boys. My husband asks me almost once a week when we can go to Seattle, NYC, Europe, or anywhere really, and I always just look over at the boys and say it might be a little while. We have gone away a couple times when my oldest son was 2, but we haven't gone anywhere overnight since my youngest was born. He's just 6 months old, and I feel like he's too young for me to leave him for a long weekend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2459403 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 07:33:07 +0000 Synchronicity 2459403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Money and my career. Taking time off is tough for me because I'm self-employed, and if I'm not working my clients go elsewhere. I won't be able to take off nearly as much time as most women here (generally a year in Ontario), which makes me a little sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2459399 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 07:26:50 +0000 travelingnanny 2459399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think because I'm a nanny I am totally ok with the day to day stuff but I'm concerned about the financial stuff (esp. in regards to unexpected bills). Also the whole actual aspect of giving birth :shocked: Hahahaha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2458779 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 18:42:12 +0000 theRoo 2458779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was put off for years by the phrase "swim diaper." Now one of my parenting mantras is, "urine is sterile." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2458762 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 18:22:43 +0000 youboots 2458762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>General lifestyle changes- less travel, less eating out, declined sleep quality, everything at a slower pace. It did not go away but having a child to us was more important than a childless lifestyle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2458760 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 18:20:03 +0000 Astro Bee 2458760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe kind of selfish, but we knew we wouldn't be able to travel or scuba dive as much. Both have been a big part of our lives for last several years, so it has been a transition. We figured poor sleep should be transitory, but being able to drop everything to go diving together on the weekend, or travelling to remote locales, would not be feasible with small kids. I wouldn't trade my son for the world now, but it explains why we waited until our mid-30s to start our family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2458724 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 17:51:20 +0000 BabyTsMom 2458724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>lack of sleep and freedom to do things on a whim. The sleep thing sucks, because I am nota morning person and I now naturally wake up early on my own, sometimes even before LO is up. the lack of freedom thing, well, that hasn't gone away but I am ok with my new normal. I figure once he's older I can be more "free" but for now I'm enjoying the time we have together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2458719 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 17:45:54 +0000 josina 2458719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Daycare for sure, and it's been fine for us as well. Now looking forward to ttc #2 and daycare is still my biggest concern! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2458684 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 17:28:46 +0000 bisous 2458684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Money/daycare costs! When we were considering early on, that was a huge fear. We've made out fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2458572 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 16:33:07 +0000 Boogs 2458572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just logistical stuff, but after having kids you just figure it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2458467 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 15:25:40 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 2458467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sleep, free time, getting things DONE. I don't think the fears "went away", you just accept that life is different for now. You see the positives, like my 16 year old now gives me hugs and kisses. Nothing beats that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2458466 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 15:25:39 +0000 tinyperson 2458466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sleep and logistics (daycare, work, being sick, etc.). I'm scared of the same things for #2! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2458459 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 15:22:28 +0000 travelingnanny 2458459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@torchwood- I'm the same way. I am realistic and realize I won't be able to get as much sleep so hopefully I'll transition ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-were-your-concernsreservations-prior-to-having-kids#post-2458323 Thu, 11 Feb 2016 13:55:00 +0000 Torchwood 2458323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sleep. I have high sleep needs, so I was terrified of having a horrible sleeper and being miserable. So far she's only an okay sleeper, but it honestly hasn't been bad. </p>