https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 09 May 2026 15:43:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1393141 Sun, 02 Feb 2014 07:44:44 +0000 Ash 1393141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: I agree! It was extremely awkward. I thought there would've been an official 'asking' at some point but all that's she's done is show me the dress and tell me where to call my measurements in to and showed me a pic of the shoes. Oh, and that she gave my number to the moh to talk about showers. </p> <p>@Cherrybee: @MapleMoose: I know! Phew. Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1393103 Sun, 02 Feb 2014 06:51:26 +0000 Smurfette 1393103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ash: glad that she understood. Still weird she told you and didn't ask you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1393099 Sun, 02 Feb 2014 06:45:42 +0000 MapleMoose 1393099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ash: What a relief! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1393056 Sun, 02 Feb 2014 05:12:47 +0000 Cherrybee 1393056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ash: Great update! I'm so glad it worked out. What an awkward situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1393000 Sun, 02 Feb 2014 01:08:30 +0000 Ash 1393000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><b> update:</b></p> <p>I told the bride I'm not able to be in her wedding. She was very understanding and glad I was honest with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387654 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 12:12:02 +0000 Ash 1387654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I'm not sure, honestly. Either way it's going to cost quite a bit to go. And I guess I don't feel like we're close enough to justify spending the money. It'd be hard to get dh to go away for a weekend during the busiest time of year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387496 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:34:52 +0000 coopsmama 1387496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What an odd situation. It doesn't even sound like you're remotely close! In that case, I'd explain that it won't work out to be in her wedding for (insert reasons) but that you can't wait to see pictures and hear all about it! And then I'd send a gift so that she feels like you celebrated the day with her in some way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387382 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:12:53 +0000 mrbee 1387382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would you want to go to the wedding as a guest? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387377 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:11:49 +0000 Ash 1387377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nana87: we used to work together (for a year) and then she moved away. She came to my wedding (sans gift but that's okay). She's back in the area and hasn't visited lo (he's 2 months old). I just can't justify spending the money.<br /> We're not super close, obviously. I'm not sure dh and I would've made the trip or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387376 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:11:40 +0000 mrsjyw 1387376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would politely decline. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387375 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:11:39 +0000 psw27 1387375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Based on your update, and the fact that you never really committed, I would just go with what @nana87 said and decline. </p> <p>$200 dress and matching shoes... plus all that driving... plus you don't even know the fiance or anyone else involved. oof. no thank you. This whole thing would be well over $1,000. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387374 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:10:57 +0000 pinkcupcake 1387374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rattles: agree w/everything you said.</p> <p>I think you should also go into this expecting the worst case scenario - that when you back out, your friendship will totally fizzle out. If you're OK w/that possibility, then I think you should (politely and kindly) decline. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387360 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:08:01 +0000 Mamaof2 1387360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes!<br /> Since u haven't committed yet I would tell her thank you so much but I have to decline due to x y and z </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387357 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:07:07 +0000 rattles 1387357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on what I want the future of the friendship to be. I think if I wanted to be close going forward, I'd suck it up. If it was someone I'd grown away from and was okay with that, I'd politely decline. Either way though, I'd make sure to express that I was touched to be included, excited for her, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387353 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:06:40 +0000 nana87 1387353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ditto psw27--she told you rather than asking you? if you already committed to doing it, i'd feel horrible backing out, but if she informed you that you're a bridesmaid and then didn't give you a choice before heaping all these costs on you, that's different. it seems really weird that you've known her 3 years but haven't seen her in 2--would you even go to the wedding if you were just invited as a guest?</p> <p>eta: just saw your update--I'd totally say something like "I am so happy and excited for you, but with bills from lo and the house, I really can't afford to commit to being a bridesmaid" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387349 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:05:49 +0000 Ash 1387349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: I wasn't asked. She said "you're a bridesmaid!" Never met her fiance. I don't know a single bridesmaid. I don't know anyone but her. </p> <p>@Greentea: I never committed.</p> <p>I was also told the bridesmaids can't wear heels and have to dk wear the same shoe (with long dresses). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387338 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:04:19 +0000 Boheme 1387338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would tell her no thank you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387325 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:02:05 +0000 cmomma17 1387325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd say "no" in the nicest, firmest way possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387323 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:01:33 +0000 Greentea 1387323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Why would you back out? Sorry not totally clear. You should do it if you committed to it... even though secretly I feel weddings can sometimes be a pain! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387320 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:00:50 +0000 ALV91711 1387320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: exactly what I was thinking. </p> <p>I'd politely decline. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387308 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 10:58:05 +0000 psw27 1387308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>told you? Isn't it more like... she should ASK you? Seems pretty random! Would you be going to the wedding anyway? Will you know any of the other bridesmaids? Do you even know her fiance? Sorry, 100 questions!</p> <p>I am kind of a wimp about these sort of things but it seems like something you are justified in bowing out of </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-37#post-1387293 Thu, 30 Jan 2014 10:53:44 +0000 Ash 1387293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A couple months ago a girl I've known for 3 years or so told me I'm bridesmaid in her wedding coming up in October. I talk to her <i> maaaaybe </i> once a month and haven't seen her in 2 years. The wedding is 3hrs away, bachelorette party about 5hrs away. It's during harvest season so we're busy up here. The dress is over $200 and we have hospital bills from lo's birth and his 10 day stay plus we're adding onto the house so the funds really aren't there.</p> <p>What would you do? Back out? Suck it up? </p>