https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Jul 2026 14:05:26 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807810 Mon, 05 Mar 2018 13:52:50 +0000 bakingdoodle 2807810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up with an eyelid that is different than the other. I know my parents would have done anything to fix it (and I have surgeries a few times because it bled) but nothing can be done as it's all have to with the blood vessels around the eye. People still asked me today what happened. Most don't notice because I wear glasses (my DH didn't notice it the first time he saw me) ... so if it was my child, I see no benefits in waiting unless it's a money/insurance issue. Yes, I agree it's less visible but what about when they go to the beach, pool. It seems to be easily corrected.<br /> Please follow your guts. Mama knows best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807807 Mon, 05 Mar 2018 13:44:38 +0000 alphagam84 2807807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have it done if it was my child. It would save them embarrassment down the line or being picked on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807804 Mon, 05 Mar 2018 13:37:50 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2807804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Because kiddos start to remember things like pain after 2, I would opt to do it early to help not put them through the trauma of remembering the pain. They may be less apt to being able to pick at the wounds at a young age as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807799 Mon, 05 Mar 2018 13:17:58 +0000 Mamaof2 2807799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: I'm with you - My 9 yr old was born with 2 fused toes and he didn't even mention it to me until he was like 6- I told him it was no big deal and that lots of people have this - my DH actually has a friend like this and DS thought it was kinda cool that they matched - haha</p> <p>And.... its your feet... not really visible and doesn't interfere with walking</p> <p>DS has never mentioned it again </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807710 Mon, 05 Mar 2018 09:51:21 +0000 snowjewelz 2807710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: Yes this! The only times I've ever been in the hospital was to give birth and both times I was pretty freaked out haha. Unless the taunting/pain was SO great, I probably would never elect to have the surgery myself so I'd probably appreciate my parents doing it for me when I was too young to remember!</p> <p>Also, my 3yr old hates all doctors, so unless I had this done during the 1st year of her life, then I'm probably stuck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807702 Mon, 05 Mar 2018 09:24:06 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2807702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Having an LO that has been through a few medically necessary surgeries in the last year I have seen how much more quickly little ones bounce back. </p> <p>I understand that is is cosmetic at this point but if you are in the position to correct it now when LO won't even remember that would be my preference. It will only be more difficult later in life if your LO chooses to do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807689 Mon, 05 Mar 2018 08:21:02 +0000 mrswin 2807689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: We are in Canada so I know that my parents only paid a minimal amount for the surgery and they were able to put tubes in for me at the same time...kids are incredibly cruel.</p> <p>@Tanjowen: Since it is his toes it may not be as big of a deal since it is a lot less likely that kids would see them, but I would want some assurance from the Dr’s that it wouldn’t cause any issues playing sports later in life </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807685 Mon, 05 Mar 2018 08:06:01 +0000 mrswin 2807685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Goose: I agree that in some cases kids grow into their features and in my SO’s culture it is customary to wrap the babies ears (think headband style) in the first month or so to correct issues with the ears from the way baby was positioned in the uterus.</p> <p>In my case the ears stuck out because of excess cartilage forming. Now they can correct this through special moulding procedures but that wasn’t an option when I was young </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807680 Mon, 05 Mar 2018 07:17:38 +0000 Ajsmommy 2807680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh wow! I'm kind of shocked im in the minority on this. But I guess I'm today's world I get it. But I'd choose to not do surgery and teach lo it's fine, just a difference. And then I guess if lo wanted surgery later I'd be supportive but not a proponent.</p> <p>My view could be skewed bc I had a friend who had this in college and he was cool with it and we were all cool with it... It wasn't an issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807668 Mon, 05 Mar 2018 00:07:50 +0000 codeitall 2807668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would vote sooner as well. I grew up very self-conscious of a mole on my face. I pretty much only wore my hair down because of it. But at that age, everybody is telling you to be confident in your appearance and all that, so I felt like a self-conscious failure for a while. Then my freshman year of college, my mother offered to take me to the dermatologist because we'd hit our deductible. I wasn't sure whether saying yes was embarrassing to admit that I was self-conscious or if I should say no because 'I don't need to change how I look' kind of thing. Got it taken care of and I am so much happier. I wish my parents would have done it for me at a much earlier age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807662 Sun, 04 Mar 2018 23:43:17 +0000 agold 2807662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with everyone above who says do the procedure now as opposed to later. </p> <p>@mrswin: I think insurance will actually cover taping back a kid's ears, even though it is something arguably cosmetic. Kids are cruel. I know an adult with ears that stick out and he wears his hair in a ridiculous over grown style specifically to cover his ears. This man is in his 60s. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807661 Sun, 04 Mar 2018 23:15:18 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2807661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: the kid I know is 2nd and 3rd toes but only halfway (bottom to middle). </p> <p>@mrswin: interesting. I feel like a lot of people think you’ll just grow into your ears/nose and that sometimes they’re sticking out because of how the baby was in utero, but I guess if you have a genetic predisposition then it’s different. . This gives me pause because one of my kid’s ears stick out a fair amount and someone actually pointed it out to me / sort of made fun of my baby who I’m not close with and it made me feel sad, but other people have just been saying it will go away in time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807562 Sun, 04 Mar 2018 08:42:45 +0000 mrswin 2807562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: Just a perspective from someone who’s parents made this choice.</p> <p>I was born with ears that stuck way out. My mom had this as a child as well and her parents didn’t do anything about it. As a result she was picked on a lot and ended up having the surgery to correct it at 16 years old. When I was born with the same thing my mom pushed hard for me to have the surgery when I was young to not have to deal with it. I had the surgery when I was around 4 and have very little memory of the surgery or recovery or any pain. The most traumatic part for me was having to have my ear re-pierced because one of the holes closed up during my recovery :silly: </p> <p>I’m glad my parents took care of this before I was old enough to be self conscious about it or for other kids to tease. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807556 Sun, 04 Mar 2018 07:41:35 +0000 Tanjowen 2807556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Goose: It's the 2nd and 3rd toes on both feet, fussed by skin all the way up. </p> <p>@ElbieKay: Not insensitive, I appreciate the directness! It's easy for me to think it won't be a big deal but had not thought of him struggling with it later on or the pressure of him making that decision. </p> <p>I'm going to talk with DH tonight and show him the responses. Thanks everyone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807554 Sun, 04 Mar 2018 06:16:36 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2807554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is it all toes? I’m friends with someone whose 2.5 year old has their seconf two toes fused on each foot. No plans to get it corrected. Their second kid’s toes are all separated. I find it’s not noticeable unless you’re looking often. </p> <p>To me, if it’s not in a very noticeable area and it’s not going to cause any issues I wouldn’t bother. For something on the face I would. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807551 Sun, 04 Mar 2018 05:50:32 +0000 ElbieKay 2807551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also: When my son was about 1.5 or 2 -- maybe 2.5? I don't remember now -- he developed a growth on his face. It was benign but growing and we were told it would probably not go away on its own but could be removed in a short procedure. The growth was also likely to protrude from his skin and be very fragile and prone to bleeding, especially as it got bigger. So we put him through the short procedure (less than 5 mins). Unfortunately he needed a local injection to anesthetize the area first. Of course that freaked him out and from there we had to hold him down for the pain-free part of the process. It sucked but I am glad we did it even though it was technically cosmetic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807550 Sun, 04 Mar 2018 05:44:30 +0000 ElbieKay 2807550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have always been medically squeamish. I am much better about it now after experiencing pregnancy and L&amp;D, but as a child and through early adulthood I really faced anything medical with severe dread.</p> <p>I realize that it's easy to say that I might prefer to keep my fused toes intact if I'd been born that way. But if it is not complicated or risky surgery it seems like a no brainer that most people would want to have conventional feet. Sure it might technically be cosmetic but it's not like you are talking about a nose job. Sorry if that sounds insensitive, I am just trying to be direct.</p> <p>So, from my 40yo perspective I think that by the time I might be have been old enough to desire conventional toes, I would have been scared shitless at the prospect of experiencing the surgery. I would probably have preferred having it done at an age before I would remember anything about the experience or have to confront my medical anxiety in a substantive way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807535 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 22:22:14 +0000 ChiCalGoBee 2807535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: Not sure if this helps, but my son, age 3, just had surgery a month ago. He had a hernia (apparently it was there from birth but we only discovered it protruding a few months ago). This surgery wasn't "voluntary"-it would not go away on its own and, as he grew, it would only get worse and potentially give him health complications later. However, the doctor said we could wait a bit, if we wanted to. In the end we opted to have it removed now for a few reasons. 1) He is young and were assured he'd heal quickly (he did-hours after being put completely under anesthesia he was jumping around the house like any other day). 2) Our surgeon said age 3 is what the FDA recommends to wait until, if possible, for undergoing anesthesia (our biggest concern with the whole process was putting him under anesthesia). 3) We have another baby on the way, and knew that it'd be so much harder to do this procedure with another little one to consider (no local family). I am SO glad we did it. He's already pretty much forgotten about it, and we've hopefully helped him avoid a much more intense procedure later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807525 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 20:54:56 +0000 PinkElephant 2807525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: One other thing I'll say with regard to young kids and scary medical stuff is that looking back, I think it was easier for me (as the parent) having medically necessary but difficult/painful procedures done on my children when they were smaller than it has been as they've gotten older. For example, while it was very sad and scary to watch DD2 have an emergency spinal tap at 8 weeks old (!!), I honestly feel it was worse/harder for me, and had a longer term impact on her, when she had a broken arm set last year at three years old. At three she clearly knew what was happening, had a lot of anxiety about it, knew how to physically resist, could verbally shout at the doctor, and actually tried to bite him. She still talks about it when something jogs her memory of the experience a year later. As an infant, she fussed, but was soothed by nursing and cuddles, and (obviously and thankfully) remembers nothing about the experience now.</p> <p>But all that said, I can absolutely understand why you'd be reluctant to decide something like this for your child, and think you're being very respectful to step back and consider your options this way before plunging ahead. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807507 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 20:13:16 +0000 Tanjowen 2807507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: Good point on the immediate consequences. My sister made her girls wait until they were older and could decide on piercing their ears. Not the same, but the thought of the pain involved deterred one niece and she said she will never have her ears pierced, no matter how much we try to tell her it really isn't bad at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807504 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 20:02:08 +0000 crazydoglady 2807504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's great that you are really considering what your child would want in the future and being very thoughtful about it. As for me, I would do the surgery now. I can only think it would be a benefit to do this now (or before LO can walk) to make sure that they don't have to "relearn" to walk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807503 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 19:54:46 +0000 LCTBQE 2807503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: yep, agree completely.</p> <p>@Tanjowen: this is totally anecdotal, but I knew someone fairly well growing up who had this and it wasn't corrected--it was somehow simultaneously a total non-issue and at the same time always a thing for him. Not a big deal, but something that he had to overcome in his own way and then always explain or not explain. If it was my kid and this particular cosmetic issue, I think I'd just do the surgery so grappling with it (however little) didn't become a part of the story of his childhood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807500 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 19:37:34 +0000 erinbaderin 2807500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If possible I might do it before they start walking, to ease how much of a hassle recovery will be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807498 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 19:16:06 +0000 Tanjowen 2807498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is really interesting to me but it makes sense. We were just thinking since it isn't necessary why go through It? I didn't think about the psychology of it later on. We will have to see a pediatric foot doctor when he starts to walk to make certain it doesn't affect his walking so I like the idea of asking recovery times at different ages. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807497 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 19:13:42 +0000 Jennibenni 2807497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In this case I would go ahead and do it at a young age. I have a cousin with the same issue who wishes so badly it was already corrected as she’s now scared of doing the surgery and she can’t really afford it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807495 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 19:09:30 +0000 PinkElephant 2807495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For something like this, I'd do it at a fairly young age - probably not a newborn if general anesthesia is required, but before LO could remember the surgery/remember their body "the way it was before" the surgery. </p> <p>I'm saying this because I can't imagine why, assuming there is little risk of serious complications and it wouldn't lead to long term pain, someone wouldn't want/be glad they'd had this type of cosmetic surgery once they are a teen or adult. I think if you wait til they're old enough to ask, they're going to say no because children only think of immediate consequences (pain, or no swimming lessons while the wounds heal) - not their long term feelings. My assumptions about the surgery could be wrong, though, so that's why I'm telling you what my assumptions are. For a riskier surgery, or one that I had more doubts about whether or not the child might want it later (ie., this is extreme, but say, choosing which set of genitals to keep for a child born with both)...I'd be in the wait and ask the kid camp. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807493 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 19:00:02 +0000 travellingbee 2807493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’d do it at a young age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807492 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 18:50:41 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2807492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It would depend on the recovery at different ages. </p> <p>A friend has a daughter with an almost full body birth mark. They are choosing to treat now (started at age 3) because the longer she waits, the worse the recovery will be. </p> <p>Her daughter is now 4.5 and says she doesn't care, she will keep her birth mark (each session leaves her in a bit of pain for about 24 hours, and she doesn't like that and missing school) but as her mom, my friend thinks her daughter will not be happy as a teen with this birth mark. </p> <p>I think in your situation I would inquire about recovery times if he had the surgery now vs as a teen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807491 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 18:47:59 +0000 gotkimchi 2807491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do this early, my sister in law had a similar issue - hands and toes and had surgeries. I feel like in general surgeries are easier on younger people and also this is something I would imagine most people would want fixed. Finally I wouldn’t want my lo to feel bad about something like this and feet are something that tend to be out </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-61#post-2807489 Sat, 03 Mar 2018 18:43:33 +0000 birdofafeather 2807489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Something like that, I would probably opt to do early. It would be a case by case basis though depending on the “issue.” </p>