https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 01:51:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62/page/2#post-2816336 Sat, 14 Apr 2018 14:52:52 +0000 MsMini 2816336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: If I was you I would buy my niece a nice piece of luggage etc. Just explain you are supporting travel but aren’t comfortable with the religious aspect of this particular trip 😉 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62/page/2#post-2816313 Sat, 14 Apr 2018 10:34:30 +0000 Ms. RV 2816313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just politely decline. If he were selling those sausage and cheese things and you were vegan no one would say anything for not participating in that fundraiser. Just say you have no interest in an AR-15 and ask if there are any other fundraisers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62/page/2#post-2816270 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 19:11:32 +0000 Iced Tea 2816270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not buy tickets. If selling these tickets makes them a lot of money, then they are likely to pursue this kind of fundraiser again. </p> <p>If I was close to the relative, then I would directly give the child spending money (my grandma always did this for our band trips; it was great). I would not donate money to the organization because I would not support an organization with such bad judgement.</p> <p>If I wasn’t close to that relative, then I would skip supporting the trip altogether. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62/page/2#post-2816267 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 18:47:56 +0000 Calibee 2816267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Buy tickets. Enter the raffle. Win the gun. Dismantle/destroy it and throw it away. One less gun out there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62/page/2#post-2816242 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 14:17:07 +0000 Ms.Mermaid 2816242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: can you offer to buy your niece luggage or outdoor gear for the trip, rather than donating to the fundraiser? </p> <p>FYI, at least in my state, raffle tickets are not tax deductible. So if you want to avoid the uncomfortable convo just say, “we wouldn’t use an AR and want our donation to be tax deductible.” But I just wouldn’t donate and wouldn’t say anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62/page/2#post-2816237 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 13:39:30 +0000 josina 2816237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: That's true, she did a fundraiser (the gourmet cupcakes) this year and 40% of sales went directly to her, for her band trip. Anything she hadn't raised we had to pay, so in that instance it was great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62/page/2#post-2816236 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 13:37:31 +0000 looch 2816236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: You're right, and that's really important to consider!</p> <p>When I was in high school, we had a fundraiser for a trip to California for the band, and we sold dollar raffle tickets. I wouldn't have been able to go on that trip without the fundraiser. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62/page/2#post-2816235 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 13:26:17 +0000 kiddosc 2816235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: We live in WI, and I've never heard of anything like this anywhere near here. But DH was born and raised in TX and doesn't get as ruffled about this sort of thing. I remember a news story about a raffle like this not long ago and I felt the same way about linking kids and guns... just, why?</p> <p>@Jennibenni: @looch: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: @josina: In general I'm not a fan of fundraising campaigns... but I sort of get it. I was on a swim team in high school that traveled a few times a year for competition. We were a family that lived paycheck to paycheck and my Mom made me participate in any and all fundraisers. Without them, we never would have been able to afford for me to participate and the club was a huge part of my life. I don't necessarily think that children whose parents can't afford it should be automatically excluded from that type of experience. That's not really what's going on in this specific fundraiser scenario though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62/page/2#post-2816228 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 13:10:37 +0000 josina 2816228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't buy the raffle ticket because I have no desire to win an AR-15; my DH though would probably buy a couple.</p> <p>In general I despise fundraising, with my step-daughter (15) we very rarely did/do any because it's such a nuisance. I very rarely buy anything from anyone else either, unless it's something we actually want. Gourmet cupcakes, christmas wreaths, fresh fruit, sure; overpriced magazines, wrapping paper, candles, no thanks.<br /> Our nieces/nephews rarely ask, and I don't think they'd be offended if we said no, because we're not interested in the 'prize' or product they're selling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62/page/2#post-2816226 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 13:02:17 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2816226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: I wouldn’t participate in the raffle or donate to the travel team. If you are so inclined you could give your nephew spending money for his one of his trips if you see him before he goes.</p> <p>@Jennibenni: @looch: I feel the same way. If I sign my kid up for something then I am obliging myself to all the costs not friends, coworkers, or family. Unless you have a spunky kid it’s the parent that gets stuck raising funds.</p> <p>I will say when friends FB post about causes I am more likely to support them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62/page/2#post-2816225 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 12:59:04 +0000 Foodnerd81 2816225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not buy raffle tickets or donate money, because I could not support raffling off any gun- but particularly an AR-15. However, i live in MA so this is far from normal around here. I would not support anything to do with linking kids and guns. And I would tell SIL if she asked. (This is one of only a few areas I’d be willing to make waves though). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816209 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 12:05:09 +0000 Jennibenni 2816209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: @kiddosc: I really can’t stand these types of “fundraisers” where people are just demanding that you hand over cash to fund an activity they volunteered to participate in. When did this become appropriate? I wouldn’t donate to either on that principle alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816199 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 11:50:23 +0000 codeitall 2816199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would personally be appalled. I hate fundraisers. Want me to donate my time, physical objects, sure. But just to ask for money? Nope. You gotta earn the money and I'm not going to buy crappy chocolate or discount books or raffle tickets.</p> <p>This is why people hold yard sales, babysit, ask to mow your lawn or rake your leaves, or start a lemonade stand. So that they know the value of the money and aren't just handed it. I'm not going to give my kids an allowance and I'm not going to put any money into fundraisers.</p> <p>As for the AR-15, I think that was pretty poor taste. Baseball has no connection to guns and it is not something that the average person would enjoy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816194 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 11:44:21 +0000 crazydoglady 2816194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: Could you possibly buy your nephew something equipment-wise? I wouldn't be able to donate to the raffle either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816193 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 11:43:30 +0000 Becky 2816193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How is this even legal? I can’t imagine how they got this through risk management. It’s scary to think that a group of adults came to the conclusion that making a gun out to be a prize was appropriate. Is there some way you could give your nephew a little gift (basketball shorts?) versus donating? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816190 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 11:40:27 +0000 alphagam84 2816190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't believe people are still doing that. Disgusting. I wouldn't donate any money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816189 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 11:38:25 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 2816189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not donate to the trip at all, but I have strong opinions on guns and agree with you that I think it is tone deaf or intentionally provocative (but I also don't live in Texas). I might give him a piece of sport equipment he could use or something else that would be valuable for his trip for him personally, but I would need some separation from that organization. </p> <p>@Anagram: I feel the exact same way you do about missions. I would suggest asking your niece what are the needs of the community she is going to and then donate actual items to help. You could also gift her some sort of medical equipment or something she could use that would help with her career aspirations. This way, you aren't directly supporting their trip/mission, but you are doing something for the community since they are going anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816188 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 11:27:00 +0000 jape14 2816188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Hypatia: not to totally derail the thread, but @erinbaderin: specifically mentioned mass shootings and not the general homicide rate shown in your link. in the past 35 years, about 20-25% of mass shootings have involved a rifle, depending on which source you go by (some overlap where people use both kinds. see here for the 20% figure data: <a href="https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/07/mass-shootings-map/)" rel="nofollow">https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/07/mass-shootings-map/)</a>. definitely more than 3% regardless of how you look at it!</p> <p>@kiddosc: I probably wouldn't buy the raffle tickets in your situation. would your husband donate without you doing it? if not, then I would leave it at that (it's his sister, yes?). my feeling is, I'm not going to do the emotional labor for my husband's family *especially* if it's something that I find personally wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816179 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 10:56:04 +0000 kiddosc 2816179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: That's probably what we'll do. I just feel weird about even supporting an organization that thought this was an OK idea. But it's not worth making a stink over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816177 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 10:51:23 +0000 MrsSCB 2816177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: Could you just say, "I don't want any raffle tickets, but I'd like to contribute toward [nephew's] costs for the trip" and leave it at that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816175 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 10:48:10 +0000 kiddosc 2816175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: That's a really difficult decision. The petty part of me would really not want to donate in your case. But I'd probably end up giving something to support my niece. </p> <p>That's really the meat of it. If we just donate money, I would have to explain that it's because I think that raffling a gun is wrong. (And I say "I" because I'm not entirely sure DH would totally support this conversation, mainly because he doesn't want to make waves) I know that most of my in-laws don't agree with that line of thinking and I'm really not looking to start anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816174 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 10:45:10 +0000 Sams Mom 2816174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: Private gun sales are something that will always cause a huge debate. If I sell privately, I go through a shop for the transfer, if I know the person (family/close friends), I copy their ID and have them sign a bill of sale. Irresponsible and lazy people for the most part are the ones that just take the cash and hand it over. </p> <p>This scenario is a public advertised raffle that doesn't exactly fall into the private sale, I am willing to bet they are doing a background check. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816172 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 10:40:13 +0000 MrsSCB 2816172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: There was a recent study in the Annals of Internal Medicine that said 22 percent of all people who obtained guns in the last two years did so without a background check, and for people who got theirs privately, that number is 50 percent. So I guess we have a 50-50 shot then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816170 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 10:34:09 +0000 Anagram 2816170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: I'm faced with a kind-of similar issue. I have a niece who I love, and my sister and her family are all very religious. Evangelical Christians, in the vein of Liberty university. My niece and my sister have signed up to go on a mission trip to Africa this summer and they have been fundraising to pay for the trip. Part of that is that they sent all of us in the family fundraising envelopes, asking for a donation.</p> <p>Well, I'm not religious and my husband and kids are a different religion (not Christian). I'm not really into the idea of missionary trips to other countries where the focus is on converting people to Christianity. However, this trip does have an alternate mission: they are doing humanitarian stuff in an AIDS orphage. My niece is very serious about wanting to be a pediatrician one day, so I can see how this trip could be really good for her.</p> <p>So...what to do? donate even though I don't totally agree with their mission? Don't donate and make a big point about why we aren't donating?</p> <p>I should point out that this same sister did not participate in our Hindu wedding ceremony (there is a part where siblings do something specific in the ceremony that symbolizes our elders are blessing the marriage)--this sister declined to participate because she felt she couldn't participate in a Hindu ceremony as a christian, only observe the ceremony. Sooooo...... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816169 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 10:33:59 +0000 Sams Mom 2816169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: I think that from a logical legal stand point the liability left on the league to not run a background check is astronomical. It's $30 of prevention (average gun transfer cost through an FFL) for what could be intangible amounts of liability and damages. Remington firearms is on the verge of bankruptcy from lawsuits from Sandyhook. It was a tragedy, but they didn't sell the gun directly to the shooter, but has still been wrapped up in it. You're making assumptions that they just hand off a gun in todays day and age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816167 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 10:32:10 +0000 Mrsbells 2816167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: AR 15s are the prizes? Interesting. How old is your nephew? I think i would donate to the trip. I dont think the donations go toward the prizes. The prizes are usually already donated right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816166 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 10:31:48 +0000 peaches1038 2816166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not purchase any raffle tickets nor would I donate any money to the team. I would be very comfortable explaining my stance if asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816165 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 10:31:44 +0000 psw27 2816165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: Well, lets hope that in this case, a gun shop has made the donation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816164 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 10:30:03 +0000 kiddosc 2816164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Hypatia: @Sams Mom: @psw27: In the picture, they're all set up on someone's pool table... so I'm not exactly sure these are coming from a shop. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-62#post-2816163 Fri, 13 Apr 2018 10:29:31 +0000 MrsSCB 2816163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Hypatia: @Sams Mom: I think you're making some assumptions re: background checks. Let's say someone on the team buys the gun for the raffle. What's to stop them from just handing it to the person who wins? How do you know it's all going to be done by the book, unless you're actually involved? </p>