https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Jul 2026 05:26:49 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-538410 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 09:35:42 +0000 LindsayInNY 538410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@char54 - Glad to hear!!! Sounds like a great decision :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-538388 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 09:30:16 +0000 LuLu Mom 538388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me Option #2 would be a no brainer for a couple reasons.<br /> 1) most importantly family, you can't replace those ties with grandparents.<br /> 2) comuting 90 min. both ways would be so hard on you guys as a couple and really take time away from your DH's to have with his child.<br /> 3) It might be an aging community but I have a feeling that as you get involved with different activies you will find other couples with children your child's age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-538202 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 08:34:03 +0000 T.H.O.U. 538202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@char54: Great news! So glad you made a decision and have peace with it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-538165 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 08:07:42 +0000 Smurfette 538165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awesome! I know your family is thrilled baby and y'all (but let's be honest, mostly baby!) will still be so close! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-538073 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:24:19 +0000 mrs. bird 538073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@char54: Hooray!! I'm glad you're all happy :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-538072 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 06:15:22 +0000 Charm54 538072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you so much ladies for all your advice....it truly helped me feel calm in this period of turmoil!!</p> <p>Just an update...we decided to go with Option 2 :) Dh is happy, I'm happy, and my family is THRILLED! Now I can start really getting excited for this baby and we can continue on with this next phase of our life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529869 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 09:36:48 +0000 mrsmate 529869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are no guarantees in life, right? So I would stay where I had a bigger support network. </p> <p>If I were in your situation and chose option 1, once the novelty of a new town and baby wore off I think I'd be miserable.</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529868 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 09:35:13 +0000 Mrs. J 529868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Option 2, no question! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529828 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 08:26:56 +0000 MaisyMay 529828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you go with the 90 minute commute by company transportation, how will he get home if something happens and you need him? If our LO was sick and I had to take her to the hospital, I'd want DH to be with me right away, not 90 minutes+ after I got ahold of him. Plus, the fact that you have family readily available is so important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529817 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 08:22:32 +0000 Charm54 529817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you sooo much everyone for your thoughts and advice. I was worried that I was being selfish by wanting to stay near family but now I see that it will be a great support once LO arrives. DH and I will have a long talk this coming week and hopefully come to a decision that we're both comfortable with. I'll just be happy to have this stress decided and over with once and for all!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529379 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 19:29:31 +0000 woodentulip 529379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@char54: We just faced a similar challenge, and we went with the slightly less money, but much closer to family option. And I don't regret it.<br /> It did mean that we moved across the country (I see you're in Canada, too! Yay Canada!), from Edmonton to Toronto, but so far, we haven't regretted it--having family close by has been such a blessing already! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529374 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 19:24:43 +0000 mlm2934 529374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is coming from a girl who LOVES CHANGE! Not scared in the least by it! And while my first instinct is #1, my heart says #2. There's going to be plenty of change without uprooting your life during this special year. And while in our limited perspective, it sometimes feels like we are going to miss a once in life time opportunity, the future is always changing and other things will come along. Especially since you are close to your family, I say wait and go on an adventure in a few years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529364 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 19:19:57 +0000 mamimami 529364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>2 sounds very practical. But I have to admit I'm sort of daring in this area and I enjoy exploring new situations so I'd probably go for 1. I'm alone!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529360 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 19:15:59 +0000 Amelieisme 529360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, option 2 would be my choice. Having supportive family nearby with a LO is priceless. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529333 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 18:52:33 +0000 mango.sprays 529333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Without a doubt, option 2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529317 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 18:36:14 +0000 Reese 529317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Option #2 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529311 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 18:27:35 +0000 Rubies 529311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Option2. Didn't have to think about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529300 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 18:04:27 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 529300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Family wins!<br /> I think you guys should keep looking for an awesome job in your state though! Maybe you can have the best of both worlds a few years down the line. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529233 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 16:13:47 +0000 yellowbird 529233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Option two. Option one has two huge cons for me: your husbands commute and lack of family. You won't have your family and you won't have your husband because he's going to be in the car and at work alllllllll day!!! Sounds lonely :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529226 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 16:07:44 +0000 DigAPony 529226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd also go for option 2. Since you might need to move in the future, it makes sense to stay near your support system during your pregnancy and after the baby comes. Plus, you'll have your job and the income it provides. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529211 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 15:56:33 +0000 aprk 529211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved 8 hours away for my husband's job - he wasn't happy where he was and this new company is exactly what he was looking for. I got pregnant after a few months, with no family near by. I will be a SAHM once the baby arrives, so sort of a similar situation.</p> <p>My husband doesn't have a standard commute since he travels for work, so he can drive up to 3 hours each way, every day sometimes. </p> <p>He is so happy with the work that it makes the move worth it.</p> <p>Good luck to you!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529182 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 15:21:45 +0000 Maysprout 529182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@char54: I did something like that prior to LO and rode a shuttle each way. I slept a lot of the times on the way up and tried to do work on the way back. It really didn't work well for me, I just felt tired a lot and had zero free time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529169 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 15:02:54 +0000 wheres_c 529169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Happygal as long as the financial aspects end up the same. Is one going to end up being more lucrative than the other?</p> <p>All of my family lives at least a 4 hour flight away and although it would be nice to have them closer,I enjoy the independance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529161 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 14:57:23 +0000 lovehoneybee 529161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stay. I don't get along with my family so it doesn't bother me that they live across the country, but we're really close to my IL's and it would break my heart to leave them. </p> <p>Plus your list has a lot of Pros for staying--and I think your Cons are more Possible-Cons: Your LO will make friends--Mommy &amp; Me classes, preschool, what have you, and you never know...if you have to move in a few years anyway you could end up somewhere better than you would with Option 1. </p> <p>Good luck with whatever you choose!</p> <p>PS-Also, I wouldn't have been able to deal with having DH working 90 minutes away and no family around when I was close to delivering. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529150 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 14:51:10 +0000 Charm54 529150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: Yes 90 minutes each way - but the company provides transportation so he claims he will be fine sleeping on the way there and back. But 5:30-5:30 is a long day and I think he will be wiped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529149 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 14:50:07 +0000 Charm54 529149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You guys - I am breathing my first real breath in the past week. THANK YOU. It helps so much to hear outside opinions and advice from moms who already have their LOs here. </p> <p>@LindsayInNYC: Option 1 pays a bit more, but I lose my salary which is a significant chunk of change. And like you said - childcare and higher housing costs will make any financial advantage nil. We will have a much better quality of life (money wise) if we go with Option 2. </p> <p>For me this is almost a no brainer too - I want to stay here with the job, community and family I love. But for DH's sake I'm trying to remain open to the idea of moving. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529148 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 14:49:18 +0000 Maysprout 529148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's 90 min each way?<br /> That sounds miserable and having a new LO and doing that just sounds like a recipe for disaster.<br /> If it's a once in a lifetime opportunity I can see maybe sacrificing a lot of convenience but from what it sounds like the move would require major sacrifices from you, your DH, your LO, and relatives </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529143 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 14:47:27 +0000 kiddosc 529143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would choose option two. I currently have a 90 min commute and I'm convinced that the stress of it is taking years off my life. I also live far away from my family, though we are close to DH's family, and I hate it. We are currently planning a move across the country to be near my family and in an area with more reasonable drive times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529140 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 14:45:18 +0000 LindsayInNY 529140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aside from the possible lack of stability with job #2, what about the financial pros/cons? Does one job pay more than the other? Assuming #1 pays more, how much will you end up spending via housing, commute, daycare (since family isn't nearby to help), etc. Those costs might eat up any additional income.</p> <p>ETA: How funny. I just saw you're from Canada. A friend of mine just moved from NL (I think?) to BC? Am I close on the abbreviations? LOL. She moved for DH's job and left all her family and friends. Only difference is that she's not pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-advice-neededlong#post-529139 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 14:44:20 +0000 Mrs. Cowgirl 529139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>option 2. no brainer for me...i couldn't stand living across the country from my family, even if it meant we could live more comfortably, have a bigger house, etc. i'd miss them too much!</p> <p>plus, once your LO is old enough to be in mommy&amp;me classes, preschool etc, you'll meet lots of other LOs for him/her to be friends with!</p> <p>good luck! decisions like this are so hard! </p>