https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 21 Jun 2026 12:30:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597916 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 15:27:45 +0000 psw27 2597916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's weird to me that during a 10 minute conversation in which she is independent/neutral/middle ground/ open to either party she would get THAT offended by a "democrat" leaning discussion. Is she a closeted super republican or something? (I'm not endorsing or denigrating either side here - just confused). I tend to be an "independent" too and it seems a little unreasonable to be offended so easily listening to either side have short political discussions. It just sounds a bit hyper sensitive to me? </p> <p>Regardless, I guess I would probably ask her what her problem is that she felt the need to single you out if it was a group discussion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597878 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 14:31:05 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2597878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ignore, ignore, ignore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597849 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 13:47:04 +0000 Mrs.Someone 2597849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This just happened to me with a family member. I'm glad that we finally just talked on the phone, instead of emailing through her husband (he started it). She wants to avoid me until the end of the election because she can't control herself. I told her that I think that's the wrong thing to do, and I hope she reconsiders. But she knows I'm not angry at her, and I'm pretty sure she's not angry with me. </p> <p>If you avoid it, things will just be awkward when you see her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597838 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 13:39:56 +0000 cat620 2597838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjd: I usually like to clear the air in these type of situations, but I don't want to do anything to anger her farther and make our relationship even worse. It's tricky, because we are part of a group of friends that meets 2-3 times a month for play dates and MNO, so I don't want to do anything that would cause a divide amongst us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597833 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 13:36:17 +0000 cat620 2597833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: I totally understand people might not want to engage in a political discussion, so when she asked us to change the topic, all of us did immediately. And we didn't bring up anything related to politics the rest of the night. If she had any lingering negative feelings, I hope she would talk to me directly instead of talking to a mutual friend who then shares that with everyone else. That's the part that I don't think is right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597790 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 12:56:20 +0000 tlcbaby 2597790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would ignore it. Now that it has gone from one friend to another, the story may not be exactly as it was originally told. To @mrsjd: point, though, there may be a way you could bring up the situation without telling her what she said was conveyed back to you. Just maybe a more general statement that you hope things weren't weird after the discussion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597789 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 12:56:16 +0000 Modern Daisy 2597789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, likely she felt ganged up on and maybe you made an offensive comment or questioned her views, which would make anyone in the minority feel super uncomfortable. Honestly as a republican right now I feel like I have to keep totally silent about politics because the media is so liberal so people think it's okay to shout about pro-democrat points of view and republicans or people who disagree don't have the same platform/support. Right now things are so tense I would just avoid the topic altogether unless you feel confident your Audience is 100% on your side. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597756 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 12:07:51 +0000 mrsjd 2597756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am in the minority but I would absolutely say something. I have in the past when I've heard a friend is upset with me through the grapevine. I think it's necessary to preserve an adult friendship and prevent resentment from occurring on either side. I prefer a quick, direct approach. "Hey, I heard this, I did not intend to upset you or come off as aggressive. I apologize if you felt your views weren't being heard. In the future, I want you to feel comfortable addressing these issues with me directly. I value your friendship and an open, honest discussion" If she can't handle that, I wouldn't want her as my friend, honestly. I have zero tolerance for starting shit behind people's backs. We are all too old for that crap. My friends and I disagree plenty, but we air it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597734 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 11:36:06 +0000 cat620 2597734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: @youboots: I found that surprising that she was talking about me behind my back. But I guess it's good that I know now to watch what I say around her. </p> <p>@Mrsbells: @JerricaBenton: I've been on the other side where I was the only Democrat in a room full of Republicans, so I know how it can be. But we did try to keep the conversation civil, and the politics talk lasted about 10 minutes out of our two hour dinner. But I agree that it's probably best to avoid political conversation among friends, unless you know they enjoy that kind of talk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597721 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 11:17:41 +0000 agold 2597721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd just ignore it and not talk about politics with her any more. Or, if you don't really even care too much about her, just stop hanging around her anymore. But if you tell her what you heard, then you will likely betray the trust of the one friend that told you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597719 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 11:17:15 +0000 JerricaBenton 2597719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say nothing and not discuss politics with her in the future. I would try and put myself in the other person's shoes, though. It can be very difficult and upsetting when a group of people is talking politics and you're the only one on the other side. I think a lot of people don't realize how vicious it might sound to someone who doesn't agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597716 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 11:14:30 +0000 Mrsbells 2597716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: Ignore it and just going forward avoid politics when not everyone there shares the same views. People feel strongly about political issues and can understandably take things personally that they really shouldnt take personally. It will blow over if you just pretend you never heard it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597698 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 10:58:33 +0000 youboots 2597698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah. I would be more concerned that someone I trust was talking about me behind my back than hurting her feelings. I'd let it go (the part about you) and keep a mental note about that 'friend' </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597671 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 10:25:08 +0000 Truth Bombs 2597671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say something, but mainly because I'm at a point in my life where I don't have the time or the need for friends who talk about me behind my back. If you were making her uncomfortable she should have said something in the moment, not complained about you to a mutual friend after the fact. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597668 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 10:22:58 +0000 cat620 2597668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PeaceLily: That's probably true. I feel like in the past when I've tried to clear the air or make things right, it just made things more awkward. That's why I thought I would ask you ladies first. </p> <p>@SweetiePie: It's possible that the conversation seemed more heated to her than to anyone else, but I think what I have a problem with is her singling me out and no one else. My friend who was standing up for me said she felt like we all contributed equally, so she doesn't know why I'm being singled out. She asked me if the independent friend and I have a history or something that would make her more sensitive to me specifically, but I have no idea. This is why it's irritating when people don't say anything and instead harbor negative feelings towards a person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597642 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 09:56:53 +0000 autumnlove 2597642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ignore whole thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597641 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 09:56:47 +0000 SweetiePie 2597641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably ignore unless you'll have a hard time being around her in the future (and you're around her often enough for it to matter). </p> <p>Is it possible it was more aggressive than you or your friends thought because...well...you all agreed with each other :grin: I'm just wondering if it actually was a bit more heated than any of you realized because you all think the same way. If that makes sense.<br /> She might also just be self conscious and feel outnumbered so she's automatically more defensive. </p> <p>Either way, I'd stick with ignoring unless 1) it hinders the friendship and it matters to you that the friendship remains intact or 2) you reasses and think maybe it was heated/aggressive/offensive. (And I have no idea if it was, just offering another perspective).</p> <p>And I agree with @catlady about just not talking politics around her again. I try to avoid it with anyone but family because it can get too heated very quickly! And at least with family it's a lot easier to forget and move on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597640 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 09:55:43 +0000 catlady 2597640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would ignore, and not bring up politics in front of her again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597639 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 09:55:22 +0000 PeaceLily 2597639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just ignore it. Anything you hear through the grapevine isn't usually 100% accurate from what I've encountered. If it's going to keep bothering you you can reach out and say sorry if I came across as aggressive, that wasn't my intention, but I think that would be more uncomfortable than just ignoring it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597634 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 09:52:38 +0000 Freckles 2597634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably send her a light text - Hey, it was good seeing you the other night. I wanted to apologize if our conversation on ___ made you feel uncomfortable. I know i can get passionate about politics, so i hope it didn't come off offensive to you. </p> <p>Something brief, to the point. No point in rehashing the night's events but i know that i would want to say something to clear the air. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597632 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 09:51:03 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2597632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bringing it up would likely mean discussing politics again, so I would just ignore it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597615 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 09:41:32 +0000 raspberries 2597615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know - this kind of thing annoys me, but I feel like following up with her would be kind of pointless if it's just hearsay in the first place. I'd just be careful not to discuss politics in front of her in the future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597577 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 09:11:23 +0000 avivoca 2597577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ignore it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-5#post-2597574 Wed, 03 Aug 2016 09:08:42 +0000 cat620 2597574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A week ago, I went out to dinner with a group of friends. We were talking, and since it's an election year, politics came up. We had some talk about who the VP's are and our thoughts on them. Most of the women and myself are Democrats, but one friend is independent. I thought we kept everything civil, but my independent friend asked us to change the topic, so we did. </p> <p>A few days later, I had lunch with one of my friends who was at the dinner (one of the Democrats). She thought I should know that the independent friend talked to a mutual friend of ours, and told her that we had a "heated" conversation about politics. She singled me out as being aggressive with my opinions and gave the impression that she was not happy with how the evening went. The mutual friend then told my Democrat friend what she said, I guess to get her take on the situation. My friend stood up for me saying that everyone kept things civil, and she didn't think I was aggressive at all.</p> <p>I'm not sure if the mutual friend reported back to the independent friend or what happened after that, but I'm feeling annoyed at the situation. I wish the independent friend had told me directly if there was a problem, instead of having me hear it through the grapevine. I'm not sure if I should ignore the whole thing, or if I should talk to my friend about what happened and apologize for offending her. What would you do? </p>