https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 03:15:55 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282743 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 09:13:06 +0000 ShootingStar 2282743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I'm not a SAHM so I don't really understand the hesitancy to send her for 5 days a week. Maybe the pre-school setting is more rigorous that what's at daycare? I do think though that it would be really beneficial to have a classroom setting before being expected to sit at a desk all day long in kindergarten. I think there's other things kids learn in preschool that are helpful/important like how to line up for activities, how to sit still in circle time, etc. </p> <p>But I wouldn't be happy to send my child to a school that didn't want to work with me. I also wouldn't be happy with no nap, my son really needs his sleep. I would personally probably try to find a morning program in a more family friendly school. But I wouldn't let 5 days a week be a deal breaker. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282693 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 08:50:23 +0000 looch 2282693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was in an afternoon preschool last year, it was the last year before the program changed to all day (8-1).</p> <p>At first I wanted him in the morning because of his nap, but he dropped it on his own the month before school began and he hasn't napped since. The thing that was challenging last year was that my son was the only kid that was enrolled for 5 days a week, the others in the class were either three days or 2 days and I noticed that it was confusing for my son as to who was going to be there on what days, so if I had my choice, everyone would have gone all the same schedule, if that makes sense. All 5 days a week or all 3 days a week. It's more predictable.</p> <p>As for age, I don't think it really makes a difference when they begin, but I do think it makes sense to have them doing something before beginning kindergarten. It could be a playgroup, it could be classes, but every little thing helps IMO. Now, if a parent feels differently, that is their choice, and I support them in doing whatever is right for their family. Kids are small only one time in their life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282658 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 08:36:40 +0000 travelgirl1 2282658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ree723: My daughter will be three in November and we have gone back and forth on the preschool debate SO much. We ultimately decided not to send her. But, we're moving back to the UK late November and will hopefully be eligible for those free 15 hours too. My thoughts are that I will send her for two half days. Three at a push. If I can't find a school willing to go with that then we won't send her. I stay at home too and I feel like she has years and years to sit in a classroom, but not long to be with me and her brother. We do a ton of stuff during the day, out and about. She is not missing out. If your daughter is well socialized and you feel strongly about the fewer hours, I would move her to another school, sooner rather than later so she doesn't get attached to where she is now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282641 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 08:29:40 +0000 Maysprout 2282641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO went 3 days a week for 3 hours to a preschool at 3 years old and was great. She got a lot out of it and after she got adjusted to our move made really good friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282497 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 06:24:12 +0000 BandDmommy 2282497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like you are unhappy so I'd pull her out. Maybe try next year when she's 4? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282475 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 04:45:36 +0000 mediagirl 2282475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The thing I'm noticing is you have her in a afternoon program. I've never heard of an afternoon preschool program. I think if you could find a morning program that allows part time I would send her there. I wouldn't be comfortable with my 3 year old not getting rest time just so she can go to school 'because that's what all the other kids are doing'...</p> <p>I'm sure there are lots of kids who go straight from home to school at age 4. This seems to be more stress than it's worth. If I couldn't get her into a morning part time program, I would just keep her home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282464 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 03:15:32 +0000 Ree723 2282464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: That is a good point and something to consider. The school I am now looking at has individual key workers for each child, so there will be someone who knows her well, but yes, it could potentially take longer to settle in only attending two days vs five.</p> <p>@Ms.Badger: @Madison43: @misolee: Thank you for the advice - having her be the only child attending part time was what was weighing most heavily on my mind and the points all of you made further cements my view that it will only be doing DD a disservice. I'm really not willing to do five days per week so this pretty clearly suggests pursuing another school is the best option.</p> <p>@Kemma: That is exactly it - we do lots of things together, both DDs and myself, during the week whilst DH is at work. If she's in school five days a week, that severely limits the things we can do. I am a firm believer that some of the best learning experiences do not occur within the four walls of a classroom, especially in these early formative years when play, curiosity, and wonder are such integral components of developing a young person's cognitive abilities. </p> <p>Thank you everyone for your advice and anecdotes - it has definitely given me some food for thought! After a fairly sleepless night and lots of discussions with DH, we've decided to pursue another preschool and will be calling them shortly to see if we can't get DD in, after which we will formally withdraw her from her current preschool. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282206 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 19:58:43 +0000 Beehive 2282206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If next year's school will be 5 full days a week, I think 5 afternoons a week is a good stepping stone. We started DS in preschool at 2 years old doing 3 afternoons a week, and this year at 3 years old we're doing 5 afternoons a week. I think it would be very difficult to go from nothing at all to 5 full days of school, and I think 2 days a week isn't enough to pick up the routine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282169 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 19:40:10 +0000 misolee 2282169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You seem pretty firm in sending her less days (which at that age is perfectly normal) so then I would pull her out and send her to the places that offer the flexibility in their program. Please don't send her couple of days a week in a full time program. It's tough on the teachers, other students, and most importantly your LO. </p> <p>I'm a preschool teacher and one year I worked in the 4 day class for three year olds. This mom paid the full amount but only brought her child twice a week on purpose. It was terrible transition for the child, the other kids had their friends they played with so she didn't have any friends, we had long term projects and we were always playing catch up with her, she never got the "theme" of the week bc she wasn't here long enough, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282149 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 19:24:34 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2282149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We switched schools after just one month and it wasn't a big deal for lo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282139 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 19:20:46 +0000 Trailmix 2282139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would take her out if there's a spot at a school with flexibility. I totally agree that 5 days a week is a lot for a 3 year old. One day at a new school doesn't mean much to your daughter, she will easily adapt to a new place if they have a spot for her. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282135 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 19:19:51 +0000 Pancakes 2282135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ree723: I think you should consider pulling her from this program, if you can get into another one. Even better that she's only been there 1 day, I think the sooner you get her in another program the easier the transition will be. </p> <p>We have lots of part-time preschools in our area. I don't blame you for not wanting to send her 5 days (mornings, actually) a week. Our 4s program offers the choice of 4 or 5 mornings, and most of the parents have chosen 4 mornings--they have the rest of their school careers to be in school 5 days a week and it's nice to have one or two days to spend at home with family, as you mentioned.</p> <p>FWIW, my daughter started 2 mornings a week at age 2, and did 3 mornings a week at age 3. The teachers know her very well and she does have some very special friendships made at school. So I don't agree with the notion that your DD won't make friends going only 3 days/week, or that she won't have time to learn anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282133 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 19:18:11 +0000 katsupgirl 2282133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO will be 3 this fall. We are doing today's a week preschool. I'd switch her out. You might be able to add a day later if you want. I'm a fan of flexibility and options. Plus I just don't like this current school's attitude so I'd take my kid out. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282106 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 19:00:27 +0000 Kemma 2282106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ree723: so I'm in NZ and it's pretty standard to send kids to Kindy at age three and they generally start with three afternoons or mornings a week.</p> <p>I agree with you that five days of preschool is too much for some children at that age and I personally don't think five days is going to give you anything extra over only going three days. For my family I also like the flexibility that three days offers, particularly with a baby and working around the other activities we do. If we were to do five days of preschool we would have to drop most of our morning activities and I think this would limit the range of experiences and opportunities for learning we currently have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282082 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 18:33:06 +0000 Madison43 2282082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are plenty of 3's programs in my area that are only part time, so I certainly don't think that you are doing her a disservice by sending her to a part time program. That said, I wouldn't put her in a program where she was the only part time kid in a full time program. I just think she'd be the odd person out and have a harder time adjusting to the routine and making friends when everyone else is there every day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282080 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 18:28:42 +0000 Ms.Badger 2282080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What I wouldn't do is leave her in this current school and have her be the only kid doing this limited schedule. I think it could make her the odd kid out and negatively affect her ability to form friendships, which is one of the important reasons for preschool. </p> <p>So I would either decide 5 day afternoons at the current school will be fine and leave her, or take her out now while you find a situation you like better for her. Do either of the other schools have morning slots open? That may be a better option for you whether 3 or 5 days </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282043 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 17:31:24 +0000 Applesandbananas 2282043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ree723: there are a few kids who do a 2 day schedule at LO's daycare and they really struggle. Drop offs are dramatic and tear-filled and the teachers don't really know them so I think it's hard to comfort them and build routines with them. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282042 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 17:29:52 +0000 BananaPancakes 2282042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ree723: I'd wait to see if the other schools have openings and if they're willing to work with you. I'd have a hard time with 5 days, honestly, especially if it messed with his nap. We did 3 day (3 hours) again this year (DS is 3.5), and I think he would be having a tougher time than he's already having with the short week. I think you know her personality best and should go with your gut. As long as you don't think you're being unreasonable for any reason, I think you should find the program you're happy with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282028 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 17:13:33 +0000 Ree723 2282028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting that the overwhelming majority seems to say keep her in five days per week! For me, it's a huge shift in mentality - were we still in Australia or the US, where no public schooling is provided until age four or five, I wouldn't have even considered putting her in school at this age. But in England, kids start at 3 and I don't want her to be behind.</p> <p>Five days just seems a lot to me! I think there is plenty of time for kids to get used to routines (we have our own routines at home, which I think is sufficient for 3 yrs old) and all of the research out there says that kids are being put into structured, formal education settings far too early, which has marginal, if any, benefits, that are eventually wiped out by the time kids start secondary school. And for summer borns (the youngest in the class), there is a significant correlation between negative outcomes socially and academically, and starting school too early. Sigh....so many things to think about!</p> <p>Anyway, it is interesting reading others' perspectives - keep them coming please! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282019 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 17:07:46 +0000 yoursilverlining 2282019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ree723: you seem pretty firmly already decided on what you want to do, so I'd go ahead and pull her out I guess. Fwiw, 2 days a week wasnt enough for decent drop offs for us, and it's strongly discouraged by our center for those and other reasons; but every kid is different. If that's what you think is best, you should go with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282015 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 17:04:31 +0000 honeybear 2282015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you're right, it's not necessary or advantageous at this stage. I would pull her out and not go elsewhere. If you can be with your daughter during the day, help her follow her interests, and read to her, she doesn't need to go somewhere else for the sole purpose of practicing being in a classroom. I would not worry about transitioning to full-day school, because that is a year away; focus on what's best for your child at this stage. I think that is being with you. You sound totally competent and caring, you can do it! (Also, it's super fun to hang out with a 3yo!) If you would like suggestions as to what to do, feel free to let me know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282011 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 17:01:35 +0000 NovBaby1112 2282011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stick with the current school and have her go 5 days per week, 3 hours per day. 3 hours is really not a long time at all and I think going every day will benefit her more in the sense that it will provide a more structured routine, especially since it is only 3 hours which will go by so quickly. Children adjust very fast and I just think things would be more smooth for both of you by putting her in 5 days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282007 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 17:00:02 +0000 babynumber1 2282007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I vote keep her there. Friendships are a huge part of preschool and she won't get that with just a few hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282006 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 16:59:43 +0000 Ree723 2282006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kimberlybee: It's just the issue of every day that bothers me. She still naps every day but obviously can't do so now with an afternoon placement, and I think she will be exhausted doing this every single day. It also means we can't really do much during the week (with DD2) as an afternoon placement cuts into pretty much the entire day. I still think at age 3, outings and time spent with mummy and little sister are more important than playing at school with 28 other kids and 2 teachers.</p> <p>@yoursilverlining: Two mornings per week is enough for her to start learning appropriate social skills and get used to the idea of mummy dropping her off at school, leaving, and then coming back. I don't think five days a week is necessary to learn those skills. Preschool is quite fluid with friendships as the kids they attend preschool with are not going to necessarily be the ones they go to primary school with - in fact, the majority of the kids attend a preschool entirely different from the primary school they end up at, so that piece doesn't bother me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282004 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 16:57:13 +0000 loveisstrange 2282004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I probably would also just do 5 days a week, to be honest. C started going for just a few hours 5 days a week just before she turned 3 and she did really well with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282001 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 16:54:15 +0000 catomd00 2282001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're more comfortable with less days and you like the other schools and have space there i would do that. I think it's important to make your decision on what you think is best for her and only you know that answer. Good luck!</p> <p>Eta - I do know most daycares like a child to be there at least 3 full days a week because that's when they observe thy get the most benefit, so I might consider 3 instead of 2 days at whichever school you end up at. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2282000 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 16:53:45 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2282000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also voted to keep her there. I highly believe that a daily schedule helps kids to better assimilate into their surroundings and what's expected of them. It not only helps individual kids, but the class as whole. Plus it's only a few hours a day and it seems to be the most convenient option. But if you feel strongly against it, then maybe looking for a new school would be the better option for you. Perhaps try it out for a week or two first? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2281997 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 16:50:54 +0000 yoursilverlining 2281997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would either keep her home with you or have her in 5 days a week. I'm not sure what real benefits she would get from only going 2-3 days a week for only 3 hours at a time. I don't see how that's enough time to get the benefits out of preschool or make strong friendships there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2281988 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 16:44:22 +0000 Kimberlybee 2281988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted to keep her ther 5 days a week. It's only a few hours a day so I think she'll be able to handle it, hopefully enjoy it too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-do-in-this-situation-warning-its-a-long-one#post-2281985 Thu, 03 Sep 2015 16:36:04 +0000 Ree723 2281985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD1 had her first day of preschool today and despite things going relatively smoothly, I am starting to get the feeling this school is not going to be the best fit for her. </p> <p>Background info: DD1 turned 3 in late June. From the term after kids turn 3, they are eligible for 15 hrs per week of preschool, government funded. This isn't compulsory, but full time school starts the following year (Reception) at age 4, so if we don't do nursery this year, she goes from nothing to full time school, five days per week, 6.75 hrs per day. That's a huge jump so I'd like her to have some preschool this year.</p> <p>Current situation: DD received an afternoon spot at the preschool attached to the primary school on our street. It's a lovely school, and incredibly convenient; however, the big issue I am having with the school is their flexibility. I only want DD to attend 3 afternoons per week, max, but the school's standard procedure is for the kids to attend five days per week for the 3 hrs each day. I mentioned my request back in the spring when visiting the school, and they seemed open to the idea then, but the nursery teaching staff has changed since then, as has the head teacher, so any informal discussions previously held are no longer relevant.</p> <p>After today's session, I stayed behind to discuss with the teacher my plans to have DD attend 3 days per week. She was nice about it but made it very clear she was not in agreement with this plan and did not think the school would go for it. It was left that she will discuss it with the head teacher and get back to me, but my overall impression is that it is not going to be agreed, or if it is, it will be done so grudgingly and with the stipulation she attends 5 days/week by the January or April term, neither one of which is really ideal.</p> <p>I've looked around a bit more and there are two other preschools somewhat nearby that seem to be more amenable to flexible scheduling. One of the schools I actually visited a few months ago and really liked it, but ultimately decided on our current preschool. I'm not sure either of these schools have any openings left for the current term, but I will be calling tomorrow to check.</p> <p>My concern is pulling DD from her current preschool after only one day. She is not due back until Monday, but I'm wondering if either of these other schools have openings, should I just take it up and withdraw her from the current school now? We've talked up the current school so much and she knows her teachers' names etc, but she seemed so overwhelmed today. I know it was only the first day but I am just strongly opposed to putting her in for five days per week and if the school isn't willing to be flexible, I'm not willing to forgo what I believe is best for my daughter so they can tick all of their boxes neatly. If we go with one of the other schools, I will only be doing two mornings per week as that is truly my preference for this age, I'd compromise on 3 days at the current school, but definitely not more than that. I also worry that if she is the only one attending half the week, she may be missing out on things or be the odd child out, whereas the other schools have far more flexible scheduling and DD won't be out of the ordinary in attending two mornings per week.</p> <p>This is a bit of jumbled mess, but what would you do in this situation? Would you move your LO? Would you do it now or wait to hear what the headteacher has to say? Is it better to move DD now or let her keep going to school a few more times before making that decision, and risk having her get a bit settled and then uprooting her? Would you just suck it up and let your child attend the full five days, even though you are a SAHP and truly don't believe it is necessary, nor advantageous, at this stage? So many questions..... </p>