https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 10:24:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2270918 Sun, 23 Aug 2015 14:05:50 +0000 daniellemybelle 2270918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO has an uncle that is 11 and an aunt that is 8. We alternate between "Uncle ___" and "Auntie ____" and just their first names when we refer to them. LO calls them by their first names because she is not yet two and it's easier.</p> <p>I think their mom (my dad's wife) would kind of like them to have the titles by how she talks (always using them) but she has never outright said anything and no one would ever make a big deal out of it. </p> <p>I think the kids do like being an aunt &amp; uncle and take the "job" seriously. I think that is sweet and when LO is older I will probably encourage her to call them Aunt &amp; Uncle. But they are also a little older than her which helps especially as they will be teenagers relatively soon and she will still be a kid.</p> <p>I agree that the bigger issue is the correction and lack of respect for you as the parents, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2270644 Sun, 23 Aug 2015 02:48:42 +0000 Kimberlybee 2270644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Truth Bombs: that there are other issues going on here. We use titles just to understand or reference the family relation, not to make anyone feel inferior or superior. </p> <p>@coopsmama: Your MIL sounds like she has lots of issues to work through. Her young children have no authority over your kids that's for sure. Hope you find a peaceful solution for it. Dealing with toxic or semi-toxic inlaws are tough! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2270457 Sat, 22 Aug 2015 16:29:43 +0000 PawPrints 2270457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: Agree with this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2270418 Sat, 22 Aug 2015 14:14:00 +0000 littleblessings 2270418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My children are ages 1.5 and 3. They have aunts that are 6 and 8. They just call them by their first names. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2270407 Sat, 22 Aug 2015 13:40:23 +0000 Truth Bombs 2270407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like the issue here is much bigger than titles. I would just flat out tell your MIL that you and your husband are perfectly capable of parenting your own children and if she and her children don't stop correcting them, you'll have to stop spending time together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2270380 Sat, 22 Aug 2015 12:34:03 +0000 ladybee 2270380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coopsmama: that's weird. I would not be ok with any children correcting my children in an adult manor. It's so bizarre to me that she thinks that's appropriate. I agree with other posters, they don't need to be corrected and I'd tell her to stop. </p> <p>My brother had kids when I was 15. I was Aunt because I was significantly older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2270352 Sat, 22 Aug 2015 11:42:29 +0000 coopsmama 2270352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FannyMae: her kids don't respect me at all!! They are always correcting me. They think they know better (especially the oldest younger one and then her 17 year old daughter who I do refer to as "aunt ____") because they have had younger siblings longer than I have had kids. Drives me crazy!!</p> <p>@oliviaoblivia: Right? Fortunately their names are pretty easy, one syllable type. But one has two syllables and C calls him "pee pee" which is close but not correct. It's hilarious.</p> <p>@Mrs. Peanut: That makes so much sense to me! I had never thought about having young children at the same time puts us on the same "level" - frankly she is so competitive with me that's very believable. She has never been much of a grandma to our kids because she is too busy with her own. Our kids pretty much ignore her because they barely know her despite seeing her almost weekly - she's too busy parenting to be involved with them. And it absolutely was her decision since she had her husband reverse his vasectomy at like the age of 38 or 39. :shocked: </p> <p>@Dandelion: You guys are right. We just flat out need to say something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2270331 Sat, 22 Aug 2015 10:03:41 +0000 Dandelion 2270331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's tough when she still has young children. She's not as out of date as typical mothers in law. I would just keep calling them by first name and ask your MIL to stop correcting them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2270312 Sat, 22 Aug 2015 09:09:52 +0000 Mrs. Peanut 2270312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with previous posters. I would go by first name only. Your MIL is being strange. She probably is worried that if her kids are like cousins to yours then that makes you on the same "level" as her (which you are, really). She probably doesn't like that because she wants to be your DH's mother with more experience and Grandma rather than an aunt. Still, she needs to get over it. It was her decision to have her children so far apart in age that she has children the same age as her grandchildren. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2270234 Sat, 22 Aug 2015 03:48:27 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2270234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh has 11 nieces and nephews that are older than he, I've only heard them jokingly refer to us as aunt or uncle. Actually the only one that calls us that is 14.<br /> And honestly at two they're lucky he knows their names. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2270231 Sat, 22 Aug 2015 03:15:27 +0000 FannyMae 2270231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coopsmama: If she constantly corrects your kids, I would be returning the favour and begin to correct hers! they are children after all, and although they are technically your kid's aunt/uncles, they are also your dh YOUNGER siblings, and should have some respect. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2270224 Sat, 22 Aug 2015 01:42:39 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 2270224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're in this situation - DH has siblings that are 12, 10 and 7. We started off using aunt and uncle, but it felt really strange, so now she just uses their first names. Maybe when they're all a little older she might go back to using aunt and uncle, but probably not. I think your MIL is being a little silly with this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269879 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 13:50:34 +0000 BadgerMom 2269879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @ShootingStar: . I think your DH needs to tell her to stop correcting your kids on this. They can call them whatever they're most comfortable with, whether that's "aunt/uncle blah blah" or just "blah blah". If your MIL wants to refer to them as "aunt/uncle blah blah" then whatever, but she shouldn't be correcting your kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269857 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 13:35:48 +0000 ShootingStar 2269857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coopsmama: I would have DH straight up tell her "we don't think the formality of aunt and uncle titles is necessary with children. LOs will call them by their first names, please don't continue to correct them." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269856 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 13:35:00 +0000 Meowkers 2269856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have an aunt who is a few years younger than me. I just call her by her first name and have never called her Aunt Anna. Growing up we had more of a cousin relationship. She lives half way around the world so i don't really interact with her anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269842 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 13:25:56 +0000 coopsmama 2269842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I do think that's the issue. She is VERY much trying to parent our children when we're around her and constantly criticizes the decisions we make for them. She is always instructing her kids to micro manage ours -- and one is barely 4 years older, for goodness sake. It drives us crazy. </p> <p>Thanks for your responses, everyone. I was just curious what is normal. Fwiw, we are mostly bothered by this because my MIL is consistently telling her kids to correct ours and we don't feel that's their place or position which is why we told her in the first place we consider them more like cousins to our kids - they are NOT adults who hold authority and should not be treated as such. Her kids have taken to correcting us or telling us how the kids should be treated which is totally crossing a line IMO but mil thinks it's fine because they are aunts and uncles. For us, that's simply not ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269766 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 12:36:48 +0000 JenGirl 2269766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think either first name or Aunt/Uncle first name is fine. They are a biologic aunt, so why would it be inappropriate to use that term? My best friend has siblings from her mom's second marriage that are much closer in age to her kids than to her, but her kids still call them Uncle Drew and Aunt Cassie. Sometimes her kids call them by just their first name, and that's okay too. Doesn't need to be a big deal. I don't think it's worth a struggle with your MIL. If you want to use first names, go for it. But don't try to convince her that she's wrong for using Aunt and Uncle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269727 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 12:11:38 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2269727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My baby sister is 10, so she was 7 when my son was born. He calls her "aunt ___"! For us it's a term of endearment too, not necessarily a title that demands respect. I think it's cute. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269664 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:27:49 +0000 MsMini 2269664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, my Dad has a nieces and a nephew that are 1-3 years younger than him, and they just called him by his first name when they were kids and started calling him Uncle as teens/adults as almost a joke (everyone gets a giggle out of it) they grew up in separate houses on the same farm though - so grew up like siblings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269645 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:16:18 +0000 pui 2269645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd probably just use first names, but it wouldn't bother me if someone also called them "uncle" or "aunt" because technically that is what they are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269621 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:04:44 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2269621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While I would be more inclined to call children and teens by their first name, if your LO correctly uses Aunt/ Uncle with her adult aunts and uncles I don't see why she can't or shouldn't use them with her younger ones. My family is a bit more formal with the familial titles though. I wonder if your MIL is really pressing the title issue because she wants to assert her children as having authority over yours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269585 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 10:43:12 +0000 Kimberlybee 2269585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It might be a cultural thing for me, I don't think your MIL is being too weird. Technically, they are your DH's siblings so being called an aunt or uncle regardless of age just seems natural to me. Maybe just refer to them by that when MIL is around? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269576 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 10:36:49 +0000 looch 2269576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, my dad has this sitution as he is 14 years younger than his nearest sibling. I have cousins that are grandparents, basically.</p> <p>All of my cousins, who are at most 4 years younger than him, call him uncle. But they're old school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269557 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 10:26:46 +0000 Applesandbananas 2269557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, when I married my husband, my new niece was pretty close in age to me and MIL and her mom insisted she call me aunt. To this day, I think it's really odd. She does call my husband uncle, but he's quite a bit older than me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269548 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 10:22:30 +0000 HabesBabe 2269548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my culture, "titles" and stuff are important, so I would have them say "aunt X" and "uncle Y." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269546 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 10:22:19 +0000 jhd 2269546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stick with first names only and hopefully MIL will stop correcting your LO! My nieces usually just call me by my first name only and I would never dream of correcting them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269541 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 10:17:23 +0000 Truth Bombs 2269541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your MIL is being weird. I would keep calling them by first name only. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269528 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 10:05:57 +0000 .twist. 2269528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my brother, a couple cousins and one of our uncles are all within a couple years of each other. They all refer to him by his first name, rather than uncle. I am much younger though, so he is still my uncle. :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269527 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 10:05:21 +0000 LuLu Mom 2269527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In this case I would just say their name. I usually only call my aunts/uncles but that if I'm referring to them as someone else, otherwise if I'm talking to them in person I just call them their name. But I will say to my daughters "go give Aunt X a kiss/Uncle Y a hug" and my oldest does call heraunts by Aunt but not Uncles...not sure why? haha I just realized that now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-have-your-los-call#post-2269515 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 09:59:16 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2269515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with you that first names make more sense with that dynamic. And honestly, my son is almost two and he doesn't say Aunt and Uncle for his aunts and uncles who are our age. They're just happy he tries to say their names at all! </p>