https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 27 Jun 2026 23:41:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673714 Wed, 04 Jan 2017 11:01:55 +0000 yoursilverlining 2673714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn’t be offended and I wouldn’t document or report it; but I would think it was sexist and annoying and unfortunately all too common. To me it just doesn’t rise to the level of “reportable” because I save that for really straight-up serious offenses. Potentially influencing someone’s career and livelihood is really serious; even if that someone is a total dick. </p> <p>The example of him treating a younger female colleague like an admin even when he knows she is not the admin is a much bigger issue and something I would have reported had your boss not been there and dealt with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673702 Wed, 04 Jan 2017 10:49:26 +0000 Mama Bird 2673702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The hangry thing sounds ridiculous but not that offensive, and besides the door was open with that awkward comment about how "women eat less" so I'd roll my eyes and let it go... except it's part of a pattern. So if he says something offensive later, maybe it's worthwhile to tell him up front that he needs to think before he speaks. If he wants to talk without a filter, he should be ready to take criticism without a filter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673681 Wed, 04 Jan 2017 10:17:11 +0000 PinkElephant 2673681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: If you bring up the offensive comments, I would just be sensitive to doing so in a way that isn't indirectly outing your colleague to anyone who might not be aware that she is gay (and would treat her differently if they found out) - particularly this guy, if he's going to be around. I sometimes find that people with ignorant viewpoints are also oblivious to what's right in front of them. I know you want to help, I would just be conscious that you don't say anything that might make her interactions with this guy, your boss, whoever, more uncomfortable when what you meant to do was just the opposite! </p> <p>i.e., The comments he made can be addressed as generally offensive/not tolerated in the workplace with out pointing out that there are team members whom the comments directly impact/refer to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673673 Wed, 04 Jan 2017 10:07:08 +0000 808love 2673673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here is my take on things: I think in the hangry situation, he was giving his opinion, sexist that it may be, because that was the topic of conversation. The door was open for What do you think? I'm ok with that even though I don't agree.<br /> The secretary thing was addressed and being new he is trying to understand the roles so future scenarios like that are potentially (and hopefully) eliminated.<br /> The gay comments were inappropriate and unprofessional and definitely need to be addressed with him or as a staff. I would not want him to manage me!!<br /> (Somewhat related, I hear that Trump comment above a lot from my elderly mom and aunts. They are intolerant to Trump and critically speculate about his supporters. I feel it is divisive and unhelpful - even though I didn't vote for him.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673466 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 18:33:04 +0000 SweetCaroline 2673466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would document that conversation and save it for the next time he screws up. I'd hate for you to look petty by bringing something "little" up in every one-on-one, but I think it's super important for you to showcase his true personality so that he does not get hired. He would be the office cancer and much harder to get rid of after he's employed.</p> <p>If you save it, you could say "I wasn't going to bring XYZ up, but then he did ABC and it was really eating at me." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673387 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:53:28 +0000 autumnleaves 2673387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: do you think he's doing a good job with his job and he lacks professionalism at times or do you think there is problems with his performance too?<br /> If the later, I would definitely make notes of these experiences and bring them up with someone higher up. We had an employee who lacked appropriateness but was also not good at his job. Eventually he was let go but a lot of higher ups were involved on assessing his behavior and performance for nearly a year before he was let go.</p> <p>His comments you have mentioned here would annoy me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673378 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:44:11 +0000 ShootingStar 2673378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I realized there's a couple reasons why this bothers me. 1 - I really like the team I work with and I don't appreciate someone coming in and changing the dynamic in this way and thinking these overt things are ok. 2 - My boss and I had a talk about the future of our team and she mentioned we could down the line break up into two teams and since he's got so much industry experience he could become a manager. I do NOT want to work for someone who thinks these kinds of things are ok to say. </p> <p>@MrsSCB: I think my hesitancy in saying something is that she didn't seem that bothered by the gay thing. She was very bothered by the secretary incident, but when I told her I thought he was being offensive at lunch, she kind of brushed it off. So I don't want to bring yet another thing about this guy to her. I really wish she'd been there one minute earlier to hear for herself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673373 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:39:27 +0000 MrsSCB 2673373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be pretty irritated. I don't have a lot of tolerance for overtly sexist remarks, and to me this is basically on par with "women are too emotional" kind of talk. Which is not appropriate or helpful in the workplace! I wouldn't feel bad about discussing this guy's behavior with your manager. He does not sound like an ideal person to be hired full-time, based on the other incidents as well. One bad person in the office can really sour things on a team, unfortunately. I would definitely want my team to tell me if they were having issues with a contractor or freelancer! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673372 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:36:42 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2673372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't be offended in the sense that it wouldn't bother me and I wouldn't be upset. I would, however, think he was an idiot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673370 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:35:41 +0000 Umbreon 2673370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't let it bother you. Its obviously not true, I'd just let him think what he wants. </p> <p>He other situations you mentioned sound much worse. This particular scenario I think you should let go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673368 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:34:33 +0000 littlejoy 2673368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our Amazon home delivery guy just told me he hopes I'm having a boy, because "you know how girls are with all of their hormones". I just said, "No! Why don't you explain that to me??" ... he laughed and went back to his truck. If this person in your office says something else, I'd say something. Otherwise, I'd chalk it up to him being a "typical guy" - isn't that what Trump refers to men as? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673349 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:21:00 +0000 psw27 2673349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yuck. If he's a contractor I would say something to my boss to make sure he doesn't get picked up for more work. Seems like he has a habitual problem of making ignorant comments! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673337 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:12:45 +0000 kiddosc 2673337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He sounds like he might have been hangry. I definitely would mention again to your boss at a one on one. If this guy expects to continue to work in today's progressive office environment, he needs to be aware that those types of comments and behaviors are unacceptable. I'd feel better about him having it pointed out and giving him the opportunity to change, than not telling him and him never understanding why he wasn't offered a position after the contract period. If he still can't wrangle in his behavior after being talked to, then that's on him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673336 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:12:41 +0000 Adira 2673336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: Eww, yeah. He sounds like one of those not-very-tolerant people. Probably voted for Trump too. :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673332 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:06:39 +0000 erinbaderin 2673332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's annoying and obnoxious. If he was a decent guy otherwise I'd brush it off but since he sounds like he's done other things that give you an indication that he really is that guy I would...actually, probably nothing, but I would definitely steer clear of him and maybe make a note of it in case he keeps saying sexist things and you need to take it to your boss again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673330 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:03:45 +0000 ShootingStar 2673330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I don't know him that well, he's a contractor and started in November. I'm guessing he's at least 60. </p> <p>If it makes a difference, we already had an incident a few weeks ago where he was treating a younger female employee like his secretary in a meeting. She's younger, but she's a long standing member of the team and our boss came in to a meeting to see him essentially dictating his notes to her and was like WTF are you doing and made him stop.</p> <p>We also had a team lunch before Christmas and he was doing this affected stereotypical "gay" voice saying things like, "that's so fabulous." I was kind of offended, plus we have a gay member of the team (that I like a lot more than this guy) who's relatively new and I didn't want her to feel like we have a hostile environment. In my one on one with my boss I casually mentioned the comments and that I didn't think it was appropriate. So now I feel like it'll seem like I'm singling him out if I say something to her again about him. But I am seriously not liking him and do not want him to be offered a full time position when his contract's up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673320 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 13:54:13 +0000 Mrs. Oreo 2673320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ew. I wouldn't be full blown offended, but I would give him the side eye. </p> <p>I get hangry (and I'm proud of it!). So does my husband, but he's not as bad as I am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673318 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 13:53:31 +0000 Adira 2673318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It really depends on how well I know the guy. I know some older men who are just so set in their ways and their insane way of thinking, that I just laugh it off when they say crazy stuff like this, because I know it's just how they were raised and there's no changing them at this point.</p> <p>But if I didn't really know the guy (or he wasn't really that old), I'd definitely be irked by a comment like this. It's just plain sexist! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-would-you-think-of-this#post-2673315 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 13:51:23 +0000 ShootingStar 2673315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm curious what other people would have thought of this situation I had at work earlier. A few team mates and I were walking to a meeting. All of our conference rooms are named after notable people in science and engineering, and she mentioned she read something interesting about one of the namesakes. She goes on to tell us that the guy it was named after was a scientist who thought astronauts should be women because they eat less, and a few other reasons.</p> <p>So we start laughing at that and saying women can still eat just as much and an older male co-worker makes a comment about how women get hangry. Another girl responds and says she thinks anyone can get hangry. And he argues back, saying something along the lines of "only women get like that."</p> <p>Would you be offended or would you think nothing of it? This guy has said a few things that have rubbed me the wrong way and I'm not sure if I'm now overly critical of him. </p>