https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 20:15:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st/page/2#post-2785869 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 16:00:14 +0000 KayKay 2785869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1) Babies be babies. There doesn't always have to be a reason for everything/anything -- it's just a baby being his or her own self -- and you don't have to try to "solve" everything.</p> <p>2) Everything's a phase. Bad phases, good phases, short phases, long phases. It will all just be constantly changing...even if it seems interminable at the moment.</p> <p>3) Do what works for you/your baby/your family. Until it doesn't; then do something else. Applies to: feeding, sleeping, diapering/potty training, discipline, etc etc etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st/page/2#post-2785849 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 13:57:27 +0000 periwinklebee 2785849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, my husband was very skeptical about the meal delivery service, as long as he realizes the alternative once the baby is here is him picking up stuff from the grocery store hot bar :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st/page/2#post-2785843 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 13:06:45 +0000 periwinklebee 2785843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Great suggestion! I just put in a munchery order. We've been using a local meal delivery service to order 2-3 pre-made meals a week for awhile - it's very affordable but we are so sick of all the options. In our area munchery only lets you do a weekly subscription service - where you choose four or six servings each week - but I figure it's worth a try with the subscription. My MS is mostly gone, but not to the point where making freezer meals for once the baby gets here has any appeal. </p> <p>The baby sleep infographic is also awesome! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st/page/2#post-2785833 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 10:54:41 +0000 SweetiePie 2785833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: @gingerbebe: @cake2017: Munchery is great, we’ve used it a few times. Actually this thread reminded me of it, I’ll have to do it this week with DH traveling for work. They have kids options too! Which is awesome. I can order something for my 3yo and something for me and all you do is nuke it for a couple mins. And it’s really great quality. Some things of course are better than others, I’ve found that the reviews online for each dish are pretty accurate. You’ll also notice that things sell out quickly so those are usually the most promising things. You can order same day or a few days in advance and schedule the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st/page/2#post-2785832 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 10:53:00 +0000 SweetiePie 2785832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CC Mommy: hi! So sorry I somehow didn’t get a notice that you tagged me.<br /> Max awake times vary slightly from kid to kid, but they say the range is 45 mins to maybe 1.5 hours for a long time. My son was in the 45 min range until like 3 months? Then he couldn’t do more than 1hr-1h15 for a lonnnnng time after that. Maybe till 8 months? He was just very sensitive to being over tired and that was just the max he could do before we hit cranky, tired but wired. I just found a couple of great info graphics about wake times since I’m prepping for baby 2 and baby sleep is the “thing” I care about most. Makes everyone happy so why not focus on it :-)</p> <p>Major mistake I made was thinking in the beginning that he was sleeping too much and I “should be” interacting and stimulating him more. So I didn’t pay attention to sleep cues and he’d be tired and here I’d be shaking toys in his face and making faces and then when I’d be like “ok time to nap” he’d be a mess and I went through the first 3-4 weeks like that and convinced myself there was something wrong with him. Nope, just overtired. Once my ped told me to stop whatever I was doing and put him down for a nap as soon as I saw cues, his sleep got wayyyy better and I was way happier. Cues btw are yawning, glazing over/zoning out, avoiding eye contact, sometimes ear grabbing and eye rubbing but I’ve also read those two are almost too far past the ideal sleepy window.<br /> Once you notice those cues, you’ll start to notice a pattern of how soon they happen after waking and then I was able to watch the clock more than look for signs. Once I realized he always started zoning out around the 45 min mark, I just made sure I was changing and swaddling him in his room with sound machine by 40 mins and he always went down drowsy but awake pretty easily. </p> [attach=3764/17/ozbasd.337x600.014B59DA-1B87-447E-90B4-1EAEDEA5C3A3.png] [attach=3764/17/ozbasf.337x600.447FE38B-245C-4551-8889-B95078FCB53C.png] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st/page/2#post-2785828 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 10:08:49 +0000 cake2017 2785828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: Good to know! Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st/page/2#post-2785566 Fri, 10 Nov 2017 09:46:45 +0000 gingerbebe 2785566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: Gobble was good. Munchery I sent as a PP gift to a friend and she said was good. Have not tried Freshly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st/page/2#post-2785544 Fri, 10 Nov 2017 08:15:38 +0000 cake2017 2785544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: Was the food good when you used the services????? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785538 Fri, 10 Nov 2017 07:59:53 +0000 looch 2785538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always ask myself this question, it's applicable no matter the age of my kid (and I think I am always going to experience first time mom feelings) : When I am in a group of parents and we're watching our kids run off to kindergarten/first grade/second grade/etc, is anyone going to be asking me whether or not he was formula fed or breastfed/sleep trained/BLW/puree/etc?</p> <p>Chances are the answer is no, so it helps me see it as a season. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785537 Fri, 10 Nov 2017 07:56:12 +0000 SweetiePie 2785537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: Yes to this. I️ had it from the beginning but it peaked for me between 3-4 months. Like it was bad. That’s when I️ casually started seeing a therapist but it wasn’t enough. I️ really should have been on meds the entire first year (and maybe more). I’m not making that mistake again, I️ already have people on standby this time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785528 Fri, 10 Nov 2017 01:38:25 +0000 PawPrints 2785528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh yeah a really important thing: around the 3 month mark is when a lot of shit starts to hit the fan, in terms of feeding issues, sleeping issues, and when PPD/PPA is very commonly known to manifest. That's what happened for me and I was totally blindsided since I thought 3 months meant the hardest part was over. Multiple professionals later informed me the 3 month mark is a very common time for PPD/PPA to blow up. I kind of feel like that is an important thing for postpartum mothers to know?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785521 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 23:39:54 +0000 periwinklebee 2785521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: Oh wow, that sounds intense! </p> <p>@gingerbebe: Thank you, these suggestions are super helpful! I'm pretty sure I will be absolutely bone tired by month 2. Pregnancy insomnia and the fact that it's an usually crazy time at work are already kicking my butt :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785465 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 16:32:14 +0000 PawPrints 2785465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CC Mommy: How their needs change (predictably) as the age. Like:<br /> -Birth-2 months: baby will sleep anywhere at totally random times, you really don't need to worry about it, but it's very smart planning for the future if you can start using good "sleep hygiene" during this period, which means a predictable routine to put baby down every time they nap, and do it in their crib in their room with the lights out<br /> -2 months: Starting to be possible to figure out baby's preferred sleep/awake routine, which will be approximately the same from day to day, easiest to figure this out by watching baby's cues. My DD had awake intervals of max 90 minutes so I knew to start getting her ready for her next nap any time it had been like 75 minutes since she last woke. Can be a nutso frustrating period since their schedule is just starting to settle into place.<br /> -3 months until WHO KNOWS: They keep a solid, predictable 3-naps-a-day routine for a LONG time, until they're ready to drop the third nap. DD was over a year old before this schedule changed at all.<br /> -4-5 months: About the time to do sleep training if you can stomach it (and almost everyone ends up having to do either CIO or co-sleeping, though there are a few lucky people whose babies can teach themselves to go back to sleep without ever doing CIO). Things are different during/after the 4 month sleep "regression" which is really a developmental leap, it's important for them to learn self-soothing to go back to sleep at that point</p> <p>A million other things but I really felt like it would have been helpful for me to know those basics. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785442 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 15:40:57 +0000 CC Mommy 2785442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: What did you learn about infant sleep? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785441 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 15:40:00 +0000 CC Mommy 2785441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Hi! FTM here, what are "Max awake times?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785436 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 15:19:03 +0000 gingerbebe 2785436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: I'd line up help the second month when you're starting to run on fumes from the sleep deprivation. If you can get a housecleaner twice a month, that's awesome. I'd also look into ways to simplify meals. Gobble is the fastest/easiest meal kit service I've used, short of getting fully prepped meals like Freshly or Munchery. My last mat leave I discovered the Eat24/Yelp delivery service and I ordered from this Chinese place from my phone while the baby was nursing or asleep on me like twice a week. I hired a mother's helper a few times a week to either help with my older kid OR I literally just had her watch the baby while I took a 3 hour nap. I was just so tired. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785434 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 15:15:30 +0000 Littlebit7 2785434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: also I hear ya on not having your husband around much. Mine travels an insane amount. He's been in Europe since June sun-Friday. He might get like 3 seconds off around when the baby is born but then I'm pretty much on my own. So take advantage of help paid or unpaid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785430 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 14:55:58 +0000 gingerbebe 2785430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@petitenoisette: HA. I DID go off dairy at the end of my 2nd pregnancy and self-eliminated a lot of foods because DS1 had horrible reflux and if DS2 had reflux, I wanted to diagnose it quickly and expedite the situation. With DS1, we SLOWLY eliminated one thing at a time until I was left with a total elimination diet where I lived on rice, chicken, and bananas. Meanwhile he was just screaming in pain all the time, and didn't get his meds settled until 12 weeks. With DS2, I was already able to go in there at 6 weeks and say "I'm off dairy, I'm off soy, I am not drinking caffeine, teas of any kind, including decaf, I'm off chocolate, I'm not eating spicy foods or tomatoes, and I'm off crucifers and beans. He has reflux. Gimme Prilosec now." And he was better immediately. :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785420 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 14:33:22 +0000 periwinklebee 2785420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: Thank you - this is super helpful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785418 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 14:23:55 +0000 bubblegum 2785418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: That's a great one!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785416 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 14:21:48 +0000 wrkbrk 2785416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So cliche but don’t compare or worry about milestones. It seems so important at the time, but now DS is almost two and no one remembers if he rolled over at four or five months, you know?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785408 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 13:58:44 +0000 catlady 2785408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@petitenoisette: Actually, I did the same. I gave up dairy and major soy for the last month of pregnancy and I don't regret it. LO2 ended up having reflux and the first thing our pedi said was, "looks like you have to give up dairy again." Since I was already off it, we didn't have to fall into that rabbit hole. He got medication, and eventually I brought dairy back in to my diet and he was fine. I was off dairy, soy, nuts, peanuts, corn, and eggs for 12 months with LO1, and only off dairy and soy for 2 months with LO2. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785404 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 13:55:59 +0000 snowjewelz 2785404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1) EVERYTHING IS A PHASE. This too shall pass! I remember with my first, on bad nights, I just felt so hopeless like I can't see the end of the tunnel. But honestly, everything is just a phase, it will be over. I didn't sleep train either girls, and I've had my fair share of bad nights, but my 3 year old sleeps well so I know my 11 mo old will too!</p> <p>2) FED IS BEST! I was sooo stressed out with breastfeeding DD1. I had to supplement at 6 mo and dried up at 9 months. And guess what? It's fine!! I've been able to EBF DD2 till now (almost 11 mo), but I had been much more at peace and not stressing out over every ounce I was/was not pumping, etc</p> <p>3) LET GO. I had a hard time lowering expectations for a lot of other things in my life. Like a super clean house... Once I adjusted my expectations, I didn't have to be upset all the time.</p> <p>4) ASK FOR &amp; RECEIVE HELP! I didn't need to be a super mom; it was okay to not be okay and to ask for help and receive it when it's offered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785403 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 13:54:16 +0000 petitenoisette 2785403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: Ha, I know! It's so hard to make a rational decision I think about that type of thing when you're in the thick of it. I'm pregnant with my second and contemplating going off dairy for the last month of my pregnancy so I haven't even gone fully sane about it yet :silly: I think mainly that compared to the diet I followed for a long time giving up dairy and major sources of soy would not feel like too big of a deal. But I won't be doing the extreme crazy diet I did last time, no way Jose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785382 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 13:20:37 +0000 Littlebit7 2785382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee So I've had the same sitter for 2 years while I work 1 or 2 days a week. I'm unsure if I'm going to back to work after #2 so I might keep her on after the baby arrives to watch my older one so I actually get some 1:1 time with the new baby. When Lo2 is a few months older and not attached to the boob as much, maybe she'll watch both kids from time to time. LO 1 is also in a 2s program for just a few hours every week, I might increase the time she is there a little bit as well, at least in the beginning in the dark winter months.<br /> If I were you, I'd try to find a mothers helper or something or a regular sitter. You'll quickly discover what help would benefit you the most...is it trying to juggle the awful hours of 4:30-7 pm getting dinner, baths and ready for bed when you could use an extra set of hands? Domestic help such as cooking and cleaning? For me it was having a few hours midweek so I could go to appointments, go grocery shopping alone...really some self care time. I'm someone who needs some "me" time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785379 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 13:13:05 +0000 periwinklebee 2785379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: I'm curious what sort of paid help you're planning for your second? My husband is starting a new job a few weeks prior to my EDD and hence won't have leave, but fortunately the new job comes with a solid raise and I want to take advantage of his offer to use some of that to make my life with a newborn more sane...but as a ftm not sure what kind of help is most useful... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785377 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 13:07:53 +0000 catlady 2785377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine will sound snarky but it is real: It will go by faster than you think. You will figure it out and one day you will realize that you feel like yourself again.</p> <p>Also: Don't feel bad asking for help.</p> <p>@petitenoisette: Yes, to the elimination diet thing. I did that with my first and absolutely learned by lesson and did not with my 2nd. I have advised so many moms not to do it but nobody listens lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785376 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 13:06:13 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 2785376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish I could tell myself to go easier on myself AND my firstborn, and to just ignore all the noise (from others - so many opinions!). It was so freeing letting it all go after having my 2nd. I was a much more confident and self-assured second time mom.</p> <p>I really liked this quote I recently read: "Don't base your decisions on the advice of those who don't have to deal with the results." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785375 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 12:59:48 +0000 bubblegum 2785375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Synchronicity: It will get better! Hang in there mama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-you-would-tell-yourself-after-having-your-1st#post-2785371 Thu, 09 Nov 2017 12:48:13 +0000 Mama Bird 2785371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That I shouldn't listen to people who don't live with me, because they have no clue what makes this specific child tick, or what this specific mother must to to keep him fed and to get through the day. Of all the advice I got when DS was a baby, a solid 80% was really, really bad - like, stuff that wasted a ton of my time, and in some cases took years off my life (and probably DH's) because of the stress it caused us. </p>