https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 02:46:04 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2640341 Fri, 21 Oct 2016 15:11:53 +0000 Rescuemom10 2640341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just want to say I feel your frustration. In the same boat here.<br /> I am due in Dec. I have to take ALL my remaining time off and THEN the FMLA kicks in. I come back in March, that same month my husband deploys, I have no family here, and my vacation does not roll over until August.<br /> Its a terrible procedure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639833 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 15:50:19 +0000 JenGirl 2639833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My work is the same way and it is super annoying. Personally, I woudl just take the 11 weeks and deal with issues after, if they come up. However, my management is flexible and I am confident that while they could report me for taking unpaid days off after going back if my child was sick, they wouldn't actually do that. If they did, I'd feel a lot less guilty about leaving their asses in my wake. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639550 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 08:47:12 +0000 dc yoga bee 2639550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I came back with no days off AND in the whole for 40hrs. It actually wasn't that bad, and my bosses were flexible if I needed to leave early. I would do that option, and start looking! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639516 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 08:05:48 +0000 Ajsmommy 2639516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Banana330: with my first I was lucky to have DD right before thanksgiving so I got 5 added days(basically one full week) bc of the holidays (2 for thanksgiving, 2 for Christmas and 1 for new years).. then I did take 3 banked days so that I was out for 11 weeks. </p> <p>This time is different b/c of the timing, I won't benefit from any holidays </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639511 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 07:52:49 +0000 Banana330 2639511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: What happened with your last Mat leave? Did you have the same time off/how was your return to work? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639507 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 07:41:08 +0000 lilyofthewest 2639507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This particular FMLA quirk really bugs me too. My employer had this policy until I pointed out that our local law (DC) forbids requiring employees to use their paid leave while on FMLA. I know a lot of people before me got screwed before I made a stink about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639500 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 07:30:09 +0000 Anagram 2639500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: As other Pps have asked......can you schedule a meeting with your bosses and ask them specifically what they will do if you use the days you are entitled to, but then your baby gets sick?</p> <p>After that conversation, if they aren't budging, I would at least save 2 days. Will your baby be in daycare? Kiddos tend to get sick when they first start daycare, and if your husband's job also isn't flexible, he might not be able to take consecutive sick days if the baby has a fever lasting more than one day, etc.</p> <p>Or, do you have a family member that can fly in and help for some of that two months?</p> <p>Failing all that, can you hire a nanny for just those 2 months, then transfer to daycare? It would be more expensive, but the baby won't be exposed to daycare germs and even if the baby is sick, the nanny can easily administer medicines and stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639492 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 07:09:18 +0000 ShootingStar 2639492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would take all the time and have your DH plan to have to take off if one of the kids gets sick. I don't think it's all that likely that you'll get sick during those couple months. I'd also talk to your boss and explain that your plan is to have DH cover all sicknesses unless he absolutely can't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639491 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 07:00:30 +0000 Ajsmommy 2639491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@raspberries: yes, you are 100% correct.. my issue is more with my company policy to have to use all of my banked time for fmla... it seems absurd to me. If I want to take 2 weeks fmla unpaid and save my banked days for when I return I think that "is the best decision" for me.. but I dont' have that choice :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639488 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 06:45:47 +0000 Ajsmommy 2639488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Popping back in to say thanks for all the input/commiseration/advice.</p> <p>I talked briefly with DH about it last night and he told me to take what I want, 11 wks and not to worry about having no days when I return. He fully believes that my bosses won't take any disciplinary actions against me (of course though in his mind my bosses love me and won't do anything like that to me.... I 'm not as sure) </p> <p>As some suggested I plan to talk to my bosses about it all and to voice my concerns to them before any of it transpires so i'll be able to get a read on how they react/respond. And if I do have to take days that I don't have i'll just deal with it then.</p> <p>to answer a few ?'s that were brought up:<br /> -I cannot work from home<br /> -we do not have family near enough to step in for an unplanned sick day... planned or expected we could probably get coverage<br /> -I cannot borrow against my future days off<br /> -I do not accrue any days while on maternity leave, I get a bank of days on my work anniversary which is early August.<br /> -I have never run out of days before (17 yrs) so I am hopeful this will help me by showing I'm not just trying to take advantage </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639487 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 06:40:23 +0000 Ajsmommy 2639487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ValentineMommy: bank I get on my anniversary which is in august. I'm due Feb... soo I'd be back may/june-ish and then I'd need to go to august with no days until my anniversary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639478 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 05:22:54 +0000 ValentineMommy 2639478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just use all my leave.</p> <p>We don't get any paid leave (though we can use the 12 unpaid FMLA). Anything we want paid has to be taken from sick/vacation time. I've had two babies now and had to exhaust my leave (and then taken unpaid) each time. Everything was fine after that.</p> <p>How is your leave earned? Do you earn some every pay period or is it a bank you get at the beginning of the year? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639466 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 02:27:16 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2639466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm taking a long leave and depleting my leave balance. It will be four weeks until I get my next "drop". If I Or the baby get really sick during that time I will have to ask my doctor to put me on a second FMLA and I would have to apply to our sick bank to receive donated hours or I would go leave without pay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really/page/2#post-2639462 Thu, 20 Oct 2016 01:28:24 +0000 Bluebonnet 2639462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've taken maternity leave twice with my company. Both times I had an extended leave. We also have to use all of our vacation and holiday time before taking any unpaid leave, which I was fine with. (We accrue vacation days per paycheck vs getting a lump sum on our anniversary or Jan 1). </p> <p>However, we have a very generous sick time policy (we can use sick time when we are sick or we're caring for a sick kid) and I we have the flexibility to work from home. </p> <p>In your case, I'd take a longer leave, be upfront with management about your fear of having to go negative if LO is gets sick before you get more PTO and request to go negative with your PTO balance if it comes down to it. </p> <p>In my experience, HR hides behind policy, but management tries to work around policy for valuable employees that aren't trying to abuse the system. Since you've been there 17 years, I'd assume you'll be taken care of if you did need to take reasonable sick time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639328 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 18:59:47 +0000 gilmoregirl 2639328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd take the max leave and then hope for the best for those two months, esp if your husband is able to do some of the sick care. A lot of that falls to my husband right now, because he has a more flexible schedule and more sick days. It works out ok for us. </p> <p>That's a crappy situation though and it sucks things aren't easier. I have to max out my sick leave to be eligible for any STD, but I will fortunately not have to go back to work until my leave balances renew. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639324 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 18:27:08 +0000 codeitall 2639324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here's what I'd do:<br /> Plan on taking the max leave you can with no days left and plead your case to your boss. Tell your boss that you were planning on having a buffer when you get back to deal with child sickness, but due to company policy, your PTO will all be used before then as part of your FMLA leave and you're concerned that you will absurdly be subject to discipline (according to company policy) if you need to take leave to deal with sickness after that.</p> <p>Give him/her 3 options and ask if any of them are acceptable solutions to needing PTO afterwards: Go negative in your PTO bank knowing that you'll get the days in 2 months, work from home if there is illness, or take the days unofficially as needed with the understanding that you will make up the hours.</p> <p>And I know this isn't kosher for most people, but if you've been there for that long (and if you have execs in your corner) maybe ask for an exception to company policy or vocally push for a change in the future. It sounds like they've got a fairly decent leave policy (I barely get half pay for 6 weeks), but returning to work after FMLA is more difficult because of the PTO requirement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639300 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 17:08:17 +0000 MamaG 2639300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Depends? Per the DOL:</p> <p>To be eligible for FMLA leave, an employee must work for a covered employer and:<br /> have worked for that employer for at least 12 months; and<br /> have worked at least 1,250 hours during the 12 months prior to the start of the FMLA leave; and,<br /> work at a location where at least 50 employees are employed at the location or within 75 miles of the location. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639282 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 16:25:34 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2639282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: in the exclusionary scenario sounds like FML saves the day for newer employees? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639280 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 16:22:53 +0000 MamaG 2639280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: L&amp;D is a legit disability for STD. As matter of fact most STD policies have exclusionary periods for pregnancy/maternity benefits, meaning if you have L&amp;D within the first 12 months of the policy you aren't covered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639275 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 16:11:46 +0000 gotkimchi 2639275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I came back from my first with no vacation left for the remainder of the year. So may-jan1. It sucked but I still would choose the time off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639274 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 16:07:18 +0000 daniellemybelle 2639274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This sounds so frustrating and like the policy is set up to basically encourage you to not take the 12 weeks you are afforded by FMLA. Especially with HR saying you" need to make the best decision with the information that [you] have" - doesn't that sound like they are indirectly suggesting you come back at 9 weeks so you have some time off banked?</p> <p>It sounds like you really want to take 11 weeks, so I would do that and have faith that after 17 years as a faithful employee, if you or one of your kids gets sick and you have to take a day off, they will understand. </p> <p>At a previous job, in certain circumstances were were allowed to "go into the red" with our PTO and then basically anything we accrued counted against that. So maybe if it comes to it, you can suggest that rather than asking for "extra" essentially? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639265 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 15:48:35 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 2639265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: I would take the 11 weeks, return with no PTO banked, and if someone gets sick and you need to be out, so be it. </p> <p>When I returned to work after LO1 I had to take 2 weeks off because she had some stomach bug, and respiratory infection. But, you can't just let the what ifs run your life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639259 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 15:37:39 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2639259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My company's STD/ FML was similar. I had to use 5 days of PTO when the FML portion began, but had the option of going unpaid after that. Is your husband able to be the go to person for doctor visits or kid sick days for two months? If so, I would take the full 12 weeks off.</p> <p>ETA: I know you're venting because your company has rules about PTO use with FML, but in all seriousness Mat Leave is not mandatory. If FML wasn't legislated companies wouldn't have to provide time off or job security. I don't know if L&amp;D is even a legit disability to qualify in its own as STD. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639246 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 15:07:15 +0000 sheskrafty 2639246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you work from home? I had 8 weeks of short term disability and then worked from home the last 4 weeks. Hopefully that could be a possibility for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639244 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 15:04:50 +0000 Shantuck 2639244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would your employer let you borrow against days you haven't earned yet if you needed them for a sick kid? I wiped out all of my days off with my leave when DS was born and when I needed extra days I was permitted to borrow against days that hadn't accrued yet. It took me awhile to get caught up but it all worked out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639239 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 15:00:37 +0000 NorthStar 2639239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hear you. I receive STD up to 12 weeks, but I don't see a doctor signing for that much (likely only 6 or 8). I had a senior manager offer to donate me a week of PTO since she is at her max anyway. I cannot use it unless I completely deplete my PTO first. I'm so pissed and annoyed. What is the point of that?</p> <p>I'm not sure what I would do, but the time at home is precious and you don't get that back. Do you have family or backup options nearby if your kids do get sick so that you don't have to worry about missing work? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639236 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 14:56:30 +0000 Ajsmommy 2639236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: I'm going to look and see if I can find anything about missing days. I know if I have 7 unplanned within a year you get a warning </p> <p>I highly doubt I'd use 7 days in 8 wks....however I'm not sure if thats for taking days when you have no days...that's when you actually have them </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639233 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 14:53:18 +0000 Ajsmommy 2639233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: no accruing while out. It'd be about 6-8 weeks before my anniversary when I get my days back </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639228 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 14:45:35 +0000 catomd00 2639228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh and def find out about being written up. My company has a points policy for unexcused absences and you'd have to not show up for like 3 weeks in one year before you got fired. So, having a "ding" on your personal record (insert eye roll here) might not be a big deal if it happens. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-the-point-of-fmla-anyway-not-really-but-really#post-2639226 Wed, 19 Oct 2016 14:43:54 +0000 Modern Daisy 2639226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you continue to accrue days while you are out? If so you might have a few banked up when you return. My company does this too and they even make you use the week of paid family leave before going on unpaid status so you can't even use that for flexibility when you return. Because of this I hired a nanny and set her up at the doctors office, etc. so I would not have to take as much time off for emergencies for the remainder of the year. </p>