https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 04:21:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1976754 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 10:55:42 +0000 .twist. 1976754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cait: hahaha. Your comment about defending santa made me lol. Parents are so sneaky! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1976741 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 10:47:35 +0000 TheReelDeal 1976741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: As a kid that grew up in an apartment, I never once questioned how Santa got in, even though all the movies say it's through a chimney. I think the Santa Clause with Tim Allen did an excellent job explaining it though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1976496 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 07:32:56 +0000 hilary 1976496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I lived in Germany for my early childhood as well. Did you ever do the boot in the yard thing there? We convinced my parents to let us do that one year thinking we'd get more presents. I'm pretty sure we got stocking stuffers like fruit, nuts and maybe candy and were disappointed in this whole St. Nicholas thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1976404 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 01:51:09 +0000 LovelyPlum 1976404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is only 8 months old, but we've thought about this. To us, Santa is the spirit of Christmas. We've talked about it, and I think we'll focus on 2 things: Santa helps us to celebrate baby Jesus, and Santa has lots of helpers. I don't know what we'll do about the specifics (chimney, etc), especially because we live in an apartment. But I won't deny her a bit of Christmas magic, because I still believe in that kind of a Santa! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1976394 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 01:09:10 +0000 BoogieBea 1976394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents never fussed over christmas. We put up a tree but they never really got us gifts. I think they gave us money like they would on Chinese new year. If we did get gifts, they were just from their friends. I always knew santa wasn't real just like mickey mouse wasn't really a walking/talking mouse. But I did like to pretend he was and kind of wished that my parents playes into it a bit.<br /> We're doing some of the santa traditions but I'm not going out of my way to pretend santa is real. My son just ask me the other day whether the guy at the mall was just pretend. I think santa can still be fun even if they know it's not real. It's kind of like the fun they have playing in their play kitchen.<br /> Sweet moment tonight: my son was counting his money tonight because he said his sister wanted a boogie board. He's getting himself one for christmas so now he wants to get her one too. That there is already magical to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1976331 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 23:01:30 +0000 jedeve 1976331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will do Santa. Our kids will know all about the real St. Nicholas too. We plan on teaching them that it is a season for giving. We will buy angel tree gifts to "help santa/help parents" give gifts to their kids. </p> <p>I don't think Santa is all about materialism, it just depends how you approach it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1976311 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 22:37:13 +0000 mrs. wagon 1976311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For us, Santa is a fun character like Mickey Mouse. We're treating the whole presents from Santa and cookies very casually. They'll find out soon enough that it's all made up, so I'd rather have that conversation casually. Plus I didn't grow up with lots of "magic" at Christmas since my parents were immigrants and didn't do much. So we try to have as much fun with it as possible for as long as we can, before they (sniff) grow up into sullen tweens. Or even earlier!</p> <p>One big thing I want to make sure of is that they don't spoil it for other kids though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1976250 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 21:45:30 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1976250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: that makes sense! I do think its important to be able to form your own traditions but perhaps you can play along with grandmas Santa too. Maybe Santa brings things to grandmas house for LO? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1976195 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 21:13:56 +0000 Anya 1976195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Jewish here, so Santa won't be coming down our chimney, but I feel I still need an "approach" because for one I don't want my kid to be the one to ruin it for the kids on the bus who do believe, and also my mom celebrates Christmas and while we won't be with her every Christmas, we will sometimes and I'm sure she'll want to impart some of her traditions on LO. I am thinking the character approach is a good one but will probably play it by ear! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1976151 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 20:37:03 +0000 youboots 1976151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMccarthy: yeah I never said she can't do Santa, it just is not going to be something I choose to do. Part of my issue is that I feel that the spirit of the holiday can be lost in their home. It's not about getting 20 gifts regardless of who they are from. I introduced the four gift thing to her today (want, need, wear, read) when she mentioned that now we are going to have to do tons more gifts and our tree will be packed next year, because well, it won't be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1976138 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 20:24:34 +0000 youboots 1976138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: I love the way you wrapped everything up, it's so true. I love Christmas time, I ultimately just dont get the big deal about Santa and am feeling a little resentful of the peer/family pressure I am experiencing. So I am trying to gracefully navigate it the best I can.</p> <p>@skadi this article sums up why I just don't get it. It seems like so much work to do something, and for me I just won't lie to my kid and call it fun. But everyone can do it their own way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1976130 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 20:19:18 +0000 youboots 1976130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all, I had a great afternoon visiting with my MIL and just came back and read everyone's responses. So many great points here, and such diverse expirences and game plans. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1975885 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 16:23:57 +0000 FannyMae 1975885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Santa wasn't a part of our Christmas growing up. We had Santa photos a few times as young kids, but I was clearly petrified! We definitely didn't get presents from Santa, I think it was mainly just through school that we had any idea of the concept of Santa.</p> <p>I'm definitely not actively doing the Santa thing. I only got a Christmas tree this year because my 2 year old was excited about seeing them in stores. No decorations featuring the man in red, and I don't plan on introducing his character as a real person. I'm sure she will be bombarded with his image growing up, but I don't want to start the myth and then have to maintain it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1975878 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 16:20:11 +0000 PawPrints 1975878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We won't do elf on the shelf. We'll do Santa as a fun part of the magic of Christmas but we'll be clear that it's a fun game, not a real person. </p> <p>When I was little, we put out cookies and a carrot for Rudolph, and we'd wake up to a letter from Santa and the cookies mostly gone, full stockings, and a big pile of presents from Santa. Somehow despite all that I don't have clear memories of ever actually believing he was real. I think I was like five years old when I saw a box under my parents' bed from a toy that Santa had brought and I was basically like "I knew it!" My sister and I never told our parents that we had figured it out and they never owned up, so we were pretty old (teenagers?) by the time my mom was finally like "So uh...." </p> <p>DH and I don't want to lie though, and we don't think it's difficult for kids to have fun and get excited about something they know is just a game. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1975803 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 15:46:08 +0000 mamimami 1975803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are not doing Santa. I have told my kids he is not a real person (anymore) but that some people like to pretend so we shouldn't say anything, but they know that my husband and I give them their gifts. My SIL thinks we're ruining their childhood but I disagree with her on almost everything so NBD. </p> <p>I did grow up with Santa and I don't think it's WRONG per se but I have decided to go a different direction for many reasons.</p> <p>I probably would not do a Santa event, but of course seeing Santas is impossible to avoid so I just try not to make a big deal about him and occasionally remind my kids what the deal is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1975694 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 15:01:15 +0000 Jess1483 1975694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Santa was real growing up. When we were young (maybe 3 and 5), my parents told us he wasn't real and we refused to believe them ;) Thereafter, they just played along until we figured it out on our own. I didn't feel like I'd been lied to or deceived.</p> <p>Our son just turned two, and he knows about both baby Jesus and about Santa. We will do both in our house, although nothing over-the-top for Santa (and I don't really get the Elf thing). I'm thinking that Santa will probably bring stocking fillings, and maybe an occasional gift, but for the most part, gifts are from family members. What I won't do is emphasize that Santa is watching and we need to behave to get more presents. That message doesn't do much for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1975685 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 14:57:19 +0000 cait 1975685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ra: OMG, I was totally a kid that argued with the kids who dared to doubt Santa. "There is no WAY parents can do all of that in one night!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1975681 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 14:54:52 +0000 Skadi 1975681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This blog post might give food for thought: <a href="http://www.straightdopedad.com/death-to-santa-claus-dont-lie-kids-can-handle-the-truth/" rel="nofollow">http://www.straightdopedad.com/death-to-santa-claus-dont-lie-kids-can-handle-the-truth/</a></p> <p>I really like his analogy about Star Wars. Kids don't need to be told that Star Wars is real to be able to enjoy it. You don't need to falsely point out the Death Star in the night sky or plant evidence for your kid to find. This whole idea that kids should be told that Santa is real is very, very new.</p> <p>I believe one of a parent's primary jobs is helping kids discern truth from fantasy as they grow up. I don't believe in lying to kids for any reason (if a truth is too difficult for them to comprehend, a "Here's the simplified version but you'll learn more when you're older" is an honest but age appropriate response). I think a lot of kids swallow their hurt and confusion when discovering that their parents intentionally deceived them because they want to appear grown-up.</p> <p>There's also some disturbing conclusions kids can come to when they believe Santa is real. My DH and his best friend were firm believers in Santa. One day, my DH wondered aloud to his friend, "Why would Santa give me so many cool toys and only give you one?" His friend was poor, while DH was middle class. DH's friend shook his head and said, "I must not have been very good this year." My heart breaks when I think about that kid feeling ashamed for not getting all the loot my DH got, when simply telling him the truth--that his parents bought him his gifts and that was all they could afford--could have saved him from internalizing blame. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1975676 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 14:52:33 +0000 cait 1975676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Santa was real in my house growing up and we're doing it that way with LO too. We leave out cookies and milk and carrots and Santa's presents are in different wrapping paper with his signature. We don't really push that she has to be good for Santa to come though, my parents never did either. What we really elaborate on is that Santa wants to make sure everyone has something to open on Christmas morning - the kindness of it. We discuss that and then participate in toys for tots or a giving tree. This year we're going to ask her about things she has that she'd like to donate to kids who have less.</p> <p>My parents went with the magic for sure, but none of us flat out asked them if Santa was real until we were ready for the truth. My mom asked her parents in front of my aunt as a child, and they told her he wasn't real. My aunt was mad at my mom and not her parents, because she felt like she missed out on a couple more years of believing!</p> <p>Oh, and we don't do Elf on the Shelf just because we're pretty busy during December anyway. My nephew does though and has a blast (but again, no naughty or nice element). </p> <p>Any way you do it, though, I think Christmas can be magical. If you're not into Santa, I don't think it's fair to feel pressured into doing it. It sounds like you had an awesome holiday season as a kid! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1975675 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 14:51:20 +0000 Smurfette 1975675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ra: ditto on Santa represents the spirit of giving. My presents are still from Santa and not my parents! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1975660 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 14:46:10 +0000 LindsayInNY 1975660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Santa was real to me growing up and I plan on doing the same with LO(s). Growing up, St. Nick visited our stockings the night of December 5. DH had stockings on Christmas morning. So we will do both but distinguish the two somehow. I left a note for Santa with milk and cookies and carrot(s) for the reindeer. Santa always ate most of the milk and cookies and left crumbs. Santa also wrapped presents in a different paper with different handwriting. I was convinced he was real. I will be sure to address the religious component with LO(s) but we will definitely do Santa. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1975642 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 14:38:11 +0000 BKCaribBaby 1975642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Santa was not a big deal at all in my house, but my mother is not American nor is she European. She never emphasized Santa. I'm fine with him being a character, but I stop at having to do things to make him seem real, and I won't be doing anything to specifically exclude Santa references. On the other hand, DH believed until he was quite old (I think 11..I don't know how that happened). His parents went through great lengths to create the illusion (sleighbells and footsteps on the roof, etc.). </p> <p>Right now LO is still very young (20 months), and it seems like she doesn't really get what's going on re: Christmas. I agree with some others about just letting things take their course. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa/page/2#post-1975623 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 14:32:51 +0000 simplyfelicity 1975623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Santa was not really all that important in my family. When I was in kindergarten, I came home talking about Santa and my mom told me he wasn't real. The real focus in my family was recognizing Jesus' birth. My mom went as far as to make a cake that said "Happy Birthday Jesus" written on it in icing. We would sing "Happy birthday" to Jesus.<br /> I think my mom went overboard but it had a lot to with the culture of the time and where we went to church. We had nativity scenes instead of pictures of Santa. We still did stockings, tree and the whole thing but Santa just wasn't a focus.<br /> Fortunately, for the grandkids, my mom has calmed down a lot about about these things. We don't really talk about Santa or anything with my nieces and nephews but it isn't so oppositional as it once was.<br /> As for me, I want to keep the focus on recognizing Jesus' birth (even though I understand He was born at a different time of the year) but introduce Santa as a fun aspect. I don't see why you can't do both. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa#post-1975587 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 14:18:24 +0000 Ra 1975587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Santa was real growing up and it was one of my favorite aspects of childhood. I loved waking up early, running into my parents room, and then hurrying downstairs to see if Santa came. It was all so magical! We always left cookies and milk out for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. </p> <p>I found out Santa wasn't real in kindergarten when some older kids on the bus told me. I wasn't upset. My mom made me feel like I was now a big girl who was in on the secret. She let me help do "Santa" things with my brother. To this day, she still writes "from, Santa" on all of our gifts.</p> <p>I absolutely plan to do Santa with B. When he's old enough to question, I'll probably just tell him that Santa represents the spirit of giving. We aren't Christian, so Santa and all the secular traditions are how we celebrate Christmas. I will not be doing elf on the shelf because, well, ain't nobody got time for that. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa#post-1975552 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 14:09:17 +0000 fancyfunction 1975552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're doing Santa and the elf and I think it's all in good fun. We leave cookies out and visit Santa at the mall. When I was little I got gifts from my parents and from Santa so we do that as well. I think I was 7 or 8 when I questioned why Santa used the same wrapping paper as my parents though. Haha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa#post-1975550 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 14:08:49 +0000 jetsa 1975550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We'll do santa not to any over the top standard but why not. I think it adds to the magic of childhood.</p> <p>I had no intentions of doing Elf on the Shelf but all the daycare kids do it and so does the daycare lady so I'm not going to leave DS out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa#post-1975547 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 14:07:32 +0000 Greentea 1975547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: I knit our stockings and LO knows that on Christmas she will get surprises inside. She's excited! Oh, and we are doing all handmade Christmas. It is going okay, actually! I have the stockings done at least. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa#post-1975518 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 13:58:43 +0000 lamariniere 1975518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: that's an interesting idea! If I had my way, we would just jet off to a tropical location during Christmas week and call it done! :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa#post-1975511 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 13:55:06 +0000 Greentea 1975511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: I had some friends who did new year's celebration instead- they still had a tree and presents but for celebrating new year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-approach-for-santa#post-1975509 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 13:52:33 +0000 lamariniere 1975509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was a kid, Santa was real but I found out in kindergarten. I had already started to suspect that he couldn't be real, so I wasn't heartbroken or anything.</p> <p>As for what we do now, neither my husband nor I are really into Christmas, mostly because neither of us are religious and where he comes from, they have St. Nicholas and the Père Noël but it seems much more scaled down than American Santa. We are currently living in Austria (I think the Christmas culture is similar to Germany) and our oldest will be 4 just after Christmas. This is the first year that he has kind of paid attention. We have never gotten into any of the typical Christmas things, but they do celebrate St. Nicholas at school -- he had his Nicholas party last Thursday where Nicholas showed up and they all got a bag of treats. I think, for now, it's really just going to be a school thing as I don't intended to introduce the idea of Santa at home. I kind of wish we could just completely forgo the entire idea of Christmas and do something else, but I guess my husband still likes the idea of some sort of celebration at that time of year. </p>