https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 31 May 2026 19:40:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609847 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 20:10:12 +0000 Boheme 609847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our game plan is no one at the hospital besides my parents and DH's parents - and they can't come in until we're good and ready for them. When we get home, no visitors (except our parents) for the first week or two weeks depending on how I'm feeling. My MIL has a scheme that all her family members are passing through town around my due date and she wants them all to meet the baby, but I will be shutting that down. I'm just not comfortable with it. I want to be selfish and rest as often as possible and just snuggle with our new baby the first couple of weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609758 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 19:12:14 +0000 derevival 609758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not pregnant, but this is something I think about too (along with who do I want in the delivery room with me and DH). DH agrees that the first month is just for us three to bond, but he's very concerned about having our LO socialized early and often and of course visiting w/family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609712 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 18:48:18 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 609712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We aren't even TTC and I really worry about this! We live three hours away from all my family and DHs family (they all live in the same town). I know my ILs and mom/step dad will want to come stay for a few days. Already stressin me hout!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609704 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 18:42:20 +0000 allison 609704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dealt with this recently. The inlaws came up right before lo was born and stayed about a week and a half. They were VERY helpful around the house, went grocery shopping, cooked, etc. But I was very set on the baby bonding with me and dh, so I definitely hogged him. I could tell mil expected to get more alone time with the baby, but I just wasn't comfortable with it. Those first few days/weeks are so important for bonding, &amp; I didn't want mil taking any of that time away from me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609657 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 18:10:24 +0000 Anagram 609657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: awwww....to be honest, my husband would think I was insane if I said I didn't want any visitors for the first few weeks. I don't think of it as being supporting or not supportive. Neither of you is "right" in this situation--it's just a difference in opinions/expectations.</p> <p>Just a generation or two ago, it was expected that parents would come and help and a lot of families are still like that (mine is, my DHs is), so if your husband is expecting something more like that scenario, you guys will have to find a compromise in the middle.</p> <p>I wouldn't worry too much about your MIL "taking the baby away" at this point. That's a cross-that-bridge-when-you-get-there kind of thing. Personally, having someone take the baby for a bit sounds fantastic to me right now, but I also think my feelings may change after birth. Yours may, too! And if it doesn't, you just say (in that moment), "Oh, sorry, I'm just on my way to go feed the baby", and then you go.</p> <p>AND, when your LO does arrive, your Dh may realize that it's more work than he thought, and he may not want him mom around as much. If this is your first baby, both of you will probably change your opinions about a lot of things in the first weeks. =) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609646 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 17:58:48 +0000 lomom 609646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: no worries, thread jack away. I'm sorry to hear your DH isn't being supportive. My DH is really sensitive when it comes to his family, maybe your DH just feels like you're trying to exclude his mom? I completely agree with you on the need for bonding time with just the three of you. And taking the baby away from mommy??? Even just for a walk, it is ludicrous unless you are all in agreement and comfortable with it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609640 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 17:51:51 +0000 Cherrybee 609640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay, so I may actually be thread-jacking a little here but I needed to share. This thread just prompted me to discuss my worries with DH and he was not supportive at all. Basically, he thinks I'm being unreasonable saying that I want time just me, him and LO in the beginning and it's totally unfair of me to want to limit MIL's visits, even in the early days - apparently I can't dictate to her how often she sees her grandchild - and it's apparently acceptable for her to insist that she is taking the baby out for walk (eh? Is it a dog??) and, thus, away from me (this is something else she's indicated she will do once our LO is born). The conversation ended up with me in tears.... Not good. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609609 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 17:18:52 +0000 swedishfish 609609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have one. My parents live less than 10 minutes away and my ILs live an hour away. No one will need to stay overnight at our house so that's good. I'm hoping it will all just work out? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609601 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 17:06:49 +0000 Arden 609601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've decided no one for the first two weeks (my Mom will be in the area but at my grandparent's house, and will only come over to prepare meals and help out for short periods of time) so we have time to bond as a family. </p> <p>After that, visitors are welcome for short periods, but no overnight guests. If they are coming from out of town, they have to stay in a hotel. DH has explained that postpartum is a particularly difficult/stressful time on a woman, and he wants to spare me any additional stress from house guests. Mostly, the reaction has been ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609599 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 17:02:36 +0000 Anagram 609599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live far from all of our family members.</p> <p>Right now, it looks like we'll have my mom straight away, but only for a few days because then she has to go back to work. Then DH's parents will come for a shorter trip...4-5 days just to "meet" the baby. Then they'll be coming back 3 months later when my mat leave it up.</p> <p>I'm not sure about our siblings. I bet his sister's family will try to drive from Canada at some point before summer is over and the kids go back to school, but that probably won't happen until later in August maybe. My extended family may not get to meet LO until Christmas, sadly...but they all live many states away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609572 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 16:29:15 +0000 meganmp 609572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have to say, I wish I had been a bit more adament about needing some time with just my new family and not a lot of others. At one points, we had my mom, dad, MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL and BIL's girlfriend over, because everyone wanted to watch a football game together, and my LOs were 9 days old. It was too intense, and I ran away to our bedroom to "nurse", as in hold my kiddos and escape from the madness. I honestly didn't mind having just my parents, or just my in-laws (although, we needed to point out that it is not helping if you are just holding the babies. Dishes would be appreciated. DH actually made a list titled, "Helpful Things Grandparents Can Do" and left it on the counter). I would suggest something like that for your MIL, @Cherrybee, it made things go a lot better. </p> <p>To sum up that long, rambling paragraph- some visitors are fine (I'd limit it to two), and make sure they are totally aware that helping means chores, not holding babies, unless you are sleeping while they hold babies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609560 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 16:12:34 +0000 Cherrybee 609560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Subscribing to this thread!!! </p> <p>This is something that is really, really worrying me. My MIL has made a few comments recently about how she will be at our house "all the time" after the baby is born - I need to hear how other people managed this kind of situation and all the other visitors who want to come and handle your baby while you are bonding and still trying to get to grips with things..... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-game-plan-for-visitors-in-the-first-few-weeks#post-609557 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 16:07:45 +0000 lomom 609557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our families are pretty far away, mine's over 3 hours, his is ~12 hours. I know his mom is pretty anxious to get down here, but she's very graciously agreed to give us a few weeks to settle in (I really love my MIL, she's amazing!) and my mom will come down for the birth and stay the first night, maybe. The main reason she's coming down for the birth is so that someone will be able to let our puppies out! She won't really be in the room much, it'll mostly be just DH and I, but if DH wants to go grab a sandwich or something, she's going to come in and hang out.</p> <p>I don't know when my dad and brother plan to come visit, but it'd be for no longer than an overnight.</p> <p>We're planning a sip and see type of party, in my hometown, when LO is several weeks old (after MIL gets her grandbaby snuggle time in!) and that's when the rest of my family will meet LO.</p> <p>Then, we're going to make a trip up for LO's baptism in DH's hometown when LO is about 2 months old.</p> <p>I'm hoping, given the sip and see and baptism trip, that we really minimize visitors. With everyone being out of town, the expectation, if they came to visit, would be to stay with us, and neither of us want to host houseguests.</p> <p>What is/was your game plan for visitors? </p>