https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 07:12:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1993769 Sun, 21 Dec 2014 19:47:25 +0000 smores 1993769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine is completely due to the PPD I had almost immediately after he was born. I felt good right after but once breast feeding started to get difficult (once I was in the postpartum room) I felt a lot of anxiety and that overshadowed everything. We don't have a picture of all three of us at the hospital, for example. That kills me every time I think about it. I didn't get newborn photos done. I worried and stressed so much in the beginning and felt so much anxiety I was practically paralysed. Now it's his weight (he's in the 2nd percentile) and his sleeping issues. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1993307 Sun, 21 Dec 2014 07:33:33 +0000 QBbride 1993307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry so many mamas feel so much guilt around breastfeeding :sad:</p> <p>For me, it's my son's sleep. He's 18 months and isn't consistently sleeping through the night. He did for a few months but he got sick and he's never really got back on track. I hate talking about it and it's tough not having a full night of sleep... ever!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1993267 Sun, 21 Dec 2014 05:00:33 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1993267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sons sensory issues are my biggest mom wound. I worry everyday that something I did, something I ate, too much screen time, being induced, getting the flu shot, living in an old house, gaining too much weight when pregnant with him, not eating healthy enough during pregnancy or nursing or anything under the sun is to blame. It kills me. I'm so lucky he is such a healthy wonderful little guy overall but I have a lot of guilt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1993215 Sun, 21 Dec 2014 01:08:14 +0000 HLK208 1993215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my first, it was being so young, still in college, unmarried - everyone doubted our parenting capability. It was rough.<br /> With my second, she's not behind but she takes longer at reaching milestones than her big bro did - I'm constantly worried that she isn't learning at the pace she should be.<br /> With my third, I don't give her enough attention. She's so easy that I can put her in her walker and do things with the other two (homework, cleaning, making dinner) and I feel loads of guilt by the end of the day that I didn't interact with her enough...ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1993207 Sun, 21 Dec 2014 00:15:26 +0000 Arden 1993207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definetly her traumatic birth. It wasn't until I saw a second therapist and TCM doctor at 19 months PP that I finally shook off some of the weight and started moving forward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1993204 Sun, 21 Dec 2014 00:02:15 +0000 anandam 1993204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for this thread. Mine is my cesarean and everything related to it - I get into ruts a lot in my head, spinning in circles about why I couldn't birth my baby and whether it was necessary and what I did wrong and how I'm less of a woman for it and blahblahblah. Anyway, it helps somehow to have this communal sharing of how we all think we're suboptimal mothers for one reason or another. It's sad, too, because we all try so hard and probably deserve to feel better about our efforts. Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1991739 Fri, 19 Dec 2014 12:13:07 +0000 Cherrybee 1991739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If i had to pick one I would say delayed bonding. I loved her from the start but didn't fall in love with her until she was about a year old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1991698 Fri, 19 Dec 2014 11:53:27 +0000 fussygal 1991698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Probably her sleep. I get pretty bitter when people talk about their LOs amazing sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1991689 Fri, 19 Dec 2014 11:51:01 +0000 Mrs. Chocolate 1991689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Weight issues related to breastfeeding. I grow really good babies inside but they dont so well outside of me especially on my breastmilk </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1991683 Fri, 19 Dec 2014 11:48:22 +0000 coopsmama 1991683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With #1, it was his traumatic home birth turned hospital transport and currently it's his expressive speech issues.</p> <p>With #2, it was the fact that I had to have an induction because I went to 42 weeks and a lot of people told me it was because I was afraid of birth after my experience with DS. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1991638 Fri, 19 Dec 2014 11:32:37 +0000 Bubbles 1991638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely his tongue. I can't believe it took nearly 6 months to find out what was wrong, despite him having seen a variety of medical professionals, including an LC. I feel hideously guilty that I didn't push harder, earlier - and that I should have trusted my instinct that it wasn't a let down issue. It breaks my heart that he went through months of discomfort and upset - and all those feeds where he'd be screaming and arching with sheer frustration. I also feel guilty that I then had to subject him to a revision when he was old enough to be very aware of the pain. I'm still pretty haunted by it all over 6 months later - but he's happy and healthy now which is what really matters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1991511 Fri, 19 Dec 2014 10:14:23 +0000 HazelEyes 1991511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I get it. And thank you. Three weeks? You've got that! :)</p> <p>I have to add another one though... DS had colic for 3.5 months. It was sooo hard and I have to say, it really makes me nervous about having a second kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990624 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 19:48:45 +0000 blackbird 1990624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: assssholes </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990613 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 19:44:15 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1990613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Going to school full time (in a competitive program) with a toddler... *I* don't feel bad about it because I know it's worth it and I actually really enjoy being able to finish my education in a field I love... But when other people insinuate that I'm missing out on raising my child because he's "only little once", it makes me ragey. </p> <p>Most people are supportive and think it's great- and there are a number of other parents in my program, but some people are very insensitive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990349 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 16:11:29 +0000 Dandelion 1990349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With D it's the NICU, with S, it's a still born, and with M it's his sleeping (which sounds very small compared to other two "wounds", so I try not to let it really get to me.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990221 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 15:04:19 +0000 Mama Bird 1990221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: that does make me feel better :grin: I'm glad it's a two year old thing, and not just that he never gets to mess around outdoors. Can't wait for summer though! I don't know how I'll swing it, but I want to take the family on vacation so much!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990218 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 15:03:43 +0000 Mrs. J 1990218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Working. As a teacher, I hate having to choose between work and family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990207 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 14:58:49 +0000 MrsRcCar 1990207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My wound with N is giving up on EPing for a year. I wanted to make a year but it just didn't happen. Now I hear often how I am ebf E way longer then N got breast milk. </p> <p>My wound with E is our constant struggle with feeding solids. His mouth just doesn't seem to get it. My patients wears thin with the constant comments that I am starving him by not giving him real food. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990181 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 14:35:44 +0000 catlady 1990181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely her MSPI/food sensitivity issues. I drove myself nuts with an elimination diet for basically a full year and it was so hard. We never managed to get her to test negative for blood in her stool, even after I eliminated pretty much everything except plain meat and veggies and fruit. I blamed myself anytime she seemed fussy or had a weird rash or spit up or anything. But I refused to stop breastfeeding. And now she is finally outgrowing the MSPI but it seems like she might have some real allergies (to eggs and maybe nuts) and I just wonder if it was all worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990150 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 14:11:06 +0000 StbHisMrs 1990150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my 1st there are a few wounds, colic for the first 9 months, subjecting him to an abusive marriage which resulted in a divorce, a deadbeat Dad who hasn't seen his 12.5 year old in probably 5.5 years. I feel tremendous guilt for that, I should've never had a baby in that situation.</p> <p>#2 would be going back to work at 2.5 weeks old so that my boss could go on vacation. Her teeth, she refused to let us brush her teeth for the first 2 years of her life, we have seen a few dentists about it too. She still puts up a fight at age 3, I have to hold he down every time.</p> <p>I'm having a hard time coming up with anything for my third, it's there though ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990137 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 14:03:59 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1990137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: Lots of luck to you in going back for your degree. I have the same thoughts about being a SAHM. It's just not in me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990119 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 13:53:28 +0000 MrsHoneyC 1990119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My "mom wound" is that i had PPD and my son has colic, and i didn't like, love, even want to be near him until he was 8 weeks old when i thought for the first time that i just 'liked him' it was only when he was through the worst of his colic and i was through the worst of my Post partum depression that i thought to myself that i loved him. It hurts me when i talk to people who had that emmotional connection / love for their child right after they were born. Its taken me a long time to realize i wasn't a horrible monster mom because it took us longer than usual to figure it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990117 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 13:52:53 +0000 JennyG 1990117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The picture of you holding the baby after he or she is born. LO was taken right away to get put on oxygen and into the special care nursery where he remained for a week. Every time I see someone post that picture, it hurts. I know its not a big deal, but I can never get that back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990099 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 13:40:33 +0000 birdofafeather 1990099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>interesting term! i think many of my wounds are healing and then sometimes new ones open up. for a while, it was her talking, but she's learning new words every day, so that's healed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990089 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 13:37:21 +0000 littlejoy 1990089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: One of my friends just decided to go back for her masters degree. I am so proud of her! Good luck to you!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990085 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 13:35:30 +0000 littlejoy 1990085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HazelEyes: I feel you!! I quit pumping at 10.5 months. I was getting 1 ounce per day, and just couldn't stand the feelings of inadequacy. We are still comfort nursing each morning, and I'm determined to make it at least 3 more weeks (when she turns one). That's just me being super stubborn. </p> <p>Sending lots of good vibes you're way. You are so strong, and giving your baby so much of yourself!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990076 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 13:32:21 +0000 HazelEyes 1990076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: This is me exactly! DS is almost 9 months and it is a daily battle. I can nurse in the morning but then have to pump three times a day to make one bottle for him. Its defeating. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990062 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 13:27:23 +0000 ShootingStar 1990062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like I need to justify my need/want to stop breastfeeding at 7 months. I also feel guilt that we chose to buy a new house and put him in daycare, rather than getting a nanny. I know the house benefits him too, especially in the long run. But I feel so guilty because he's sick from daycare all. the. time. To the point where they're running out of antibiotics to give him because he's been on them so often. He's had pneumonia twice in in his one year of life :(. I feel like if we had a nanny instead he'd be exposed to so much less germs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990022 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 13:04:51 +0000 cyndistar3 1990022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With #1 it would be the severe depression that I had for nearly her first year of life, #2 would be the c-section I had to have and so far I don't have one for #3, I got my vbac waterbirth that I wanted and so far she is such a good baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/whats-your-mom-wound/page/2#post-1990009 Thu, 18 Dec 2014 12:54:58 +0000 meganmp 1990009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lack of kangaroo care in the first few weeks. I really think that it affected my severe baby blues after that. I felt so guilty about holding one kid and not the other that I just wouldn't hold either. That, and I was so tired that I just wanted to die, so any time they were sleeping, I would just lay on the couch. I remember one point, they were both dozing in the boppies and I just passed out on the couch, and I woke up to them being awake and just looking out the window. It wasn't a big deal, but I felt guilty for how much I didn't want to hold them. </p>