https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 04:17:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731615 Wed, 03 May 2017 05:43:44 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2731615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coral: nothing. DCP doesn't telepathecally fiz issues at your workplace. Your coworker was out of line addressing you directly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731613 Wed, 03 May 2017 05:28:15 +0000 psw27 2731613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This would get filed away in my brain as a pointless conversation. If DCP was concerned they would tell you directly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731611 Wed, 03 May 2017 05:26:55 +0000 looch 2731611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not react at all. This was not about the kids or their behavior but some kind of weird power play on her part. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731609 Wed, 03 May 2017 04:08:46 +0000 lamariniere 2731609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with the sentiment that the coworker's conversation was a bit strange, and everyone has given good advice. </p> <p>I'm also wondering if she thinks her older LO has never hit or pushed another kid? I know my LOs have been on both ends of hitting and pushing, especially at that age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731558 Tue, 02 May 2017 21:12:52 +0000 Coral 2731558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Blue: I knew what you meant. :happy: Ultimately, we all want the same thing...but I agree that it's both normal but still not to be tolerated. And the mom should have talked to DCP first and then addressed it as she saw was appropriate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731554 Tue, 02 May 2017 21:07:06 +0000 Mrs. Blue 2731554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coral: Even so, this is normal! It's not okay to not address--both you guys and DCP needs to be reinforcing to be gentle, kind, etc., but this is still a developmentally normal thing. One of my kids was a biter and the other two have both gone through a hitting phase, and I know how badly you can feel when it's your LO doing the hurting. But my kids have also been the one that is getting hit, bit, etc. it just happens. As long as you and DCP are consistent about teaching that we don't hurt others, LO will come through this stage and it will be fine. I really meant you need to give coworker a big eye roll for her approach, not that you shouldn't be reinforcing with LO not to hit. I think it's ridiculous that she went to you instead of the DCP to actually find out what happened and address it with the person who is there when her kids and yours are together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731545 Tue, 02 May 2017 20:44:40 +0000 Coral 2731545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Blue: If you see one of my previous responses, it is an ongoing issue...not necessarily with the baby but hitting in general. :bummed: Thanks for your support. Trying to not jump to conclusions about LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731542 Tue, 02 May 2017 20:43:38 +0000 Coral 2731542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: She removes him from the situation or gives him a time out. I agree that something should be done and we are going to do what we can from home, but what am I supposed to do from work? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731533 Tue, 02 May 2017 20:25:27 +0000 Mrs. Blue 2731533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm going to be really honest, and say your coworker gets a huge eye roll from me. I mean....they're kids, and yes, it sucks when your kid is the one that gets hit, bit, etc, but it happens and if it's not an ongoing problem or a severe issue, the DCP is handling it in general, etc., what the heck does she want you to do about it?!?!? I would honestly have probably just said, "Oh, I'm sorry that happened. I'll make sure DCP is helping all the kids learn to be gentle." And then walk away or change the subject. Weird.</p> <p>In summary, I hope you can roll your eyes and ignore this and it feel at all badly about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731521 Tue, 02 May 2017 19:51:30 +0000 ElbieKay 2731521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do nothing.</p> <p>Your co-worker is an idiot for confronting you about this. What exactly was she expecting to get out of that encounter? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731519 Tue, 02 May 2017 19:44:36 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2731519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coral: did she say how she's handling the hitting and offer you some ideas that you could implement at home? 21 mos vs 8 mos is a big gap IMO to just not do anything at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731517 Tue, 02 May 2017 19:41:34 +0000 Coral 2731517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: So I talked to my DCp and, basically said that DS has been hitting a lot lately. She has mentioned it before in passing but I just thought of it as typical toddler behavior. She said the baby wasn't hurt and that every kid struggles with their own things and that this is his current struggle. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731503 Tue, 02 May 2017 19:00:13 +0000 erinbaderin 2731503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, that's so passive aggressive. Also seriously, she's taking the word of a 4 year old? My son's best friend, who lives next door, has come home 3 days in a row with scratches on his face from the same kid (the daycare knows about this is addressing it). Every day when asked who did it he's given a different name, and when I asked MY son he gave a fourth name. Little kids are unreliable narrators. Plus even if it did happen that's what toddlers do! Clearly her son wasn't hurt or the daycare would have mentioned it. </p> <p>I would mention it to the daycare and ask if there's an ongoing hitting problem. I'm certain the answer is no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731483 Tue, 02 May 2017 16:56:17 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2731483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would hope what @Gingerbee: said would come to mind in the moment. This is normal kid stuff and the child care provider needs to intervene not you and not after the fact. To your coworkers point though I think you would want to know if your LO hit the baby and the childcare provider deemed it necessary to tell you. The 4 y/o is clearly looking out for his sibling, but its up to that mom to address concerns with the person actually watching her child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731466 Tue, 02 May 2017 15:43:48 +0000 Coral 2731466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: That's pretty much exactly what I said and she responded with "I don't know...I just thought you should know." :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731463 Tue, 02 May 2017 15:39:20 +0000 MamaG 2731463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just another vote of your son's behavior is in the range of normal. My 2.5 year old is still learning how to communicate with her 5.5 year old sister. She hits, pinches, pulls hair, kicks, throws toys and screams. Any of those are effective at making big sister cry or tattle. We are always talking about gentle, soft, using words, etc. </p> <p>I've sought out daycare parents to apologize but never to confront. I've also sought out our daycare provider with a "she said" report from home and could they follow up or keep an eye out for repeated behaviors. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731458 Tue, 02 May 2017 15:32:01 +0000 gingerbebe 2731458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if someone said that to me, I'd say "I was not given any kind of notice about this from the DCP, so this all news to me. If X hit your son, I sincerely apologize. Is your baby doing okay?"</p> <p>Then I would say:</p> <p>"What would you suggest we do to try and prevent these types of situations from coming up in the future?"</p> <p>This bounces the WTF onus back on her.</p> <p>Obviously, you will work on gentle hands and all that and can talk to the DCP about it (ask her to watch a little more closely, etc), but seriously, if she expects you to do anything more than that, let HER give the suggestion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731428 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:57:32 +0000 Coral 2731428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pwnstar: This is absolutely our plan. He is too young for a "remember when you hit X yesterday?" But, going forward, "soft hands" is going to be a BIG topic of conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731424 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:54:02 +0000 Coral 2731424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: It's an in-home daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731422 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:51:25 +0000 Truth Bombs 2731422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coral: I'm confused why a 4 year old, 21 month old and 8 month old are all in the same room? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731421 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:49:41 +0000 pwnstar 2731421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree it's a terribly awkward situation and that your co-worker should not have addressed with you directly. But since she has, I would take the opportunity to talk to your LO about babies/how great it is to be a big kid, gentle hands, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731420 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:49:36 +0000 edelweiss 2731420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>what did she expect you to do? more importantly, how would she feel if someone did that to her? naive is the parent who thinks that their kid will always be on the receiving end of toddler hits/bites/kicks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731415 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:41:04 +0000 Coral 2731415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: THANK YOU! I mentioned something about if DS was ever hit when he was a baby (i.e. this crap happens) and she said "why don't you ask the DCP?" I answered with, "I don't care what happened a year ago...especially if he wasn't really hurt." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731413 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:37:20 +0000 yoursilverlining 2731413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ouch; that’s totally inappropriate of your coworker. What are you suppose to do about it? What a bad position to put you in. Our daycare is on my work campus so I work with many of the parents of the kids my LO goes to daycare with. My LO told me a little boy (whose father I work with) pushed her down yesterday outside. I would never think to talk to him – what is he suppose to do about it?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731412 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:36:57 +0000 littlejoy 2731412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is so inappropriate!!! </p> <p>If the DCP provider didn't mention it to either parent, it's because it's in the realm of normal (or to be fair, they simply didn't see it happen). </p> <p>I would check in with the DCP. To be honest, I would think the other mom would have checked in with the DCP first. I don't care who is supposedly hitting my child - if this is happening, I want to know why my 8 month old isn't being watched closely - especially when there are older children around. </p> <p>It should be no concern to her which kid hit her baby ... just that her child was potentially hit. Even then, it's normal for toddlers to shove/hit/push, but this is why an extremely close eye is important. </p> <p>Sorry you're dealing with this!! Don't stress. You and your kid did nothing wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731411 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:33:52 +0000 macintosh 2731411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She sounds a little nutty to me. It's not like it's unheard of for toddlers to hit. They have to be taught gentle touch, but they sometimes act out of instinct. Last month I got a report that my DS had hit another boy - I suspect the other boy of being the instigator. Now they are buddies - it was a one time thing. I'd never mention it to his parents unless it was an ongoing issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731406 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:27:19 +0000 kiddosc 2731406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coral: I wouldn't be concerned either. Just remember this when her child is the one hitting and rush over to confront her at work. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731405 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:26:33 +0000 Peasinapod 2731405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coral: also how reliable is a 4 year old? I would be very annoyed with my co worker for bringing this story to me. If the day care provider isn't concerned then you shouldn't be and your co worker shouldn't be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731403 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:21:53 +0000 Coral 2731403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: So, she has mentioned that he hits sometimes but she doesn't seem too concerned about it. He grabs toys out of other kid's hands but it's basically regular young toddler stuff. I'm not saying it's ok but just not out of the ordinary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-a-parent-tells-you-that-your-kid-hit-their-kid-at-daycare#post-2731400 Tue, 02 May 2017 14:17:47 +0000 kiddosc 2731400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would talk to your daycare provider and discuss whether hitting has been a problem or if this was a one off occurrence. Hitting is totally developmentally normal and I'm sure your provider is working on a strategy if it's happened repeatedly. She obviously hasn't been concerned enough to bring it up to you. I think it's really weird that your co-worker came to find you to tell you this. I would have been really overwhelmed in that moment too. There's a reason that centers don't tell parents who the offending child was when there are incidents. Parents can be so irrational about things that didn't really hurt their child and are totally normal little kid behavior. I would not discuss it further with your co-worker. If she pushes it, just say you've discussed with the provider and if she's still concerned about, she should do the same. </p>