https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 30 May 2026 02:30:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2499648 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 12:47:31 +0000 looch 2499648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is a giver by nature, he will give you the shirt of his back if you needed it. I didn't realize it until we were visiting family this winter and he gave his two older cousins $5 coins that he had been given as a reward to buy something for himself.</p> <p>He's finally okay with giving away his things when he is done using them. He wasn't okay with this at first, he'd pick things to give away and then slowly, he'd come up with a reason as to why he needed it back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2499641 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 12:45:12 +0000 PawPrints 2499641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are a ways off from this but it's something I think about. I feel like telling a child to be generous can have the opposite effect. My guess is that for really young kids, the most important lesson is for them to observe you and DH being giving and generous so LO can learn that it's normal to behave that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2499626 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 12:39:51 +0000 Mamaof2 2499626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MoonMoon: I tried to model this for my DS but he just was never a giver - at 7 he is finally thinking of others and asks to donate our old things.</p> <p>DD on the other hand has ALWAYS been a giver - she is 5.</p> <p>Not sure why the difference? I feel like I raised them the same way ~shrug~ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2499556 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 11:57:19 +0000 Chuckles 2499556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Moonmoon: I meant to reply to this thread the other day. I highly recommend The Opposite of Spoiled. There are lots of great ideas for a variety of age ranges for teaching generosity, money management, and long term planning. It was a great read. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2497094 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 17:19:49 +0000 MoonMoon 2497094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for your replies! Lots of good things to think about. I just want to clarify that we didn't push the issue on DS or make him feel bad when he was not into the idea of giving one of his books away, but it made me think, and that's why I started this thread.</p> <p>We always try to model giving, and really praise him when he shares with us. Like @Mae: said, he loves showing affection by giving us bites of food, etc. but it's a different story when it comes time to sharing toys with other kids. </p> <p>@Happygal: Thank you, I've added the book to my wish list! Seems like an interesting read.</p> <p>For now, maybe I'll have him pick out a book just like one he has to give to the book drive, so he can experience giving without giving one of his own things away. We'll work on that part when he's a bit older! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2494797 Tue, 15 Mar 2016 00:23:11 +0000 lamariniere 2494797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like we have always done this and this is very important to me. My oldest child is 5, but we talk about how when we are done with some things it's nice to give them away to people who aren't as fortunate as we are. We talk about what it would be like if we only had one toy instead of shelves full of toys. We talk about how fortunate we are to have pretty much everything we need and want and how we need to spread that to people who don't have as much (and not just in the material sense, I want them to learn compassion too). When the refugee crisis came to a head last fall here (we had thousands of refugees arriving in our city daily), I made a point of telling my LOs that I was taking some of our things along with new things and food to donate and I explained what was going on in an appropriate way that the older one could understand. Even last week, we had to buy two gifts and my son was adamant about wanting to pick them out. I agreed to take him shopping but I told him he couldn't have anything for himself, we were only buying for friends. We took him to the Lego store and Legos are his favorite toy. I was really impressed that he did not once ask for something and instead had fun picking out the gifts. I even complimented him on this after we had left the store. Like @yoursilverlining: said, there are plenty of ways to model and demonstrate generosity and compassion year-round. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2494719 Mon, 14 Mar 2016 21:22:40 +0000 yoursilverlining 2494719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is something we started with early because (looking around at so many adults!) I don't think sharing and giving just naturally sets in for many. Like anything else, you do what you see modeled and what's made a natural part of your life. </p> <p>We've found easy ways to teach generosity and giving to be going through old clothes which don't fit (so less chance of jealousy) to a local shelter for women/children, buying toiletries for homeless shelter - let your LO pick out what to buy, donating toys and food to animal shelter - again, let your LO pick out the toy and food and then go together and drop things off so your LO sees the actual connection. </p> <p>The holidays are an easy time of course, but there are rest opportunities year round. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2494717 Mon, 14 Mar 2016 21:21:26 +0000 MamaG 2494717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think its too young to start. But I'd probably not start with giving his things away. We get books from the dollar spot and donate them. We participate in food and pet drives. We take things to our firemen (cases of water or home baked goods). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2494661 Mon, 14 Mar 2016 20:29:56 +0000 Mae 2494661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is something I think a lot about and started with my LO as a baby. From probably 10 mo or so when I'd be feeding LO or we'd be playing toys I'd occasionally ask her if I could have a bite of her food or I could have her toy. When she did I'd thank her for sharing and always share back. She's almost 2 now and I feel like sharing is her love language. She tries to feed us all the time and she is constantly trying to give toys to kids when we have playdates. Of course she also steals toys and sometimes doesn't want to share. Because... toddler. :) Also I assume she may go through a not sharing phase at some point. But my plan is to just keep praising generosity and kindness as I see it and model it myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2494653 Mon, 14 Mar 2016 20:26:05 +0000 Happygal 2494653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MoonMoon: Have you heard of the book "The Opposite of Spoiled?" I haven't read it, but I've heard good things. I believe it's for an older child, but maybe it has good ideas to start aiming for in there for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2494648 Mon, 14 Mar 2016 20:22:09 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2494648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that is pretty young. We will probably start around 4, but right now at 3 I want him to see me model kindness and generosity. So we talk about things like manners and such, but asking them to actually give something away will come later. </p> <p>He does see me take things to consignment and goodwill that we are giving away, and I tell him that these are things we don't need anymore, so we are giving them to someone who does. Hopefully that will help him make connections later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2494610 Mon, 14 Mar 2016 19:51:00 +0000 regberadaisy 2494610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD1 was 3.5 this past Christmas and that's the first time I concisely remember her understanding what it means to give. We adopt a family every year for the holidays. This year we also started filling a shoebox for operation Christmas child. We involved her in picking gifts and wrapping the presents. We were pleasantly surprised that there was no "what's for me?". Just a lot of "let's get this for the little girl!". As the girls get older we hope to involve them more in regular volunteer, donating, etc.</p> <p>I think asking a kid this young to give away something of theirs is a lot to ask!</p> <p>This is something we still work on almost daily. There are definitely still days where sharing with her sister is a struggle. But overall she really is quite good about it if we explain to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-and-how-to-teach-giving-and-generosity#post-2494568 Mon, 14 Mar 2016 19:14:41 +0000 MoonMoon 2494568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is 33 months old, and generally a very pleasant guy. But he's not really into sharing yet. I'm thinking that's developmentally appropriate, especially because he's an only child without experience in daycare.</p> <p>But today we saw an ad for a book drive and we said to him that he should choose one of his books to give away so another kid who doesn't have books could enjoy reading it. He was pretty vehement in saying no! He just didn't even want to talk about it.</p> <p>I'm hoping he'll build a sense of giving with age, and especially when he starts preschool in August. But until then, do you have books or activities or ideas to recommend? I talk to him about gratitude a lot, and he's very good at saying thank you. When does the spirit of giving set in? </p>