https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 01:37:04 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2232220 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 21:01:18 +0000 Truth Bombs 2232220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted a 3-3.5 year age gap because I wanted to limit the number of years we will pay double day care bills. I also wanted to feel like we really had a handle on parenting and wouldn't be spread too thin by having kids really close together. Lastly, my career is important to me. I didn't want to take two maternity leaves really close together. We decided we would go for 3.5 year gap so we could have a spring baby. Well, I got pregnant a little earlier than expected and I'm due 10 days after LO turns three. But we are thrilled. The important things like emotions and finances were all in place, we were just planning to wait so I'm not stuck inside on maternity leave but a Christmas baby will be fun too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2232218 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 20:58:30 +0000 jhd 2232218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted heal more &amp; get healthier. We originally wanted two close together, but now if we have another it will be a bigger age gap. For now we haven't even been able to talk about it beyond agreeing that another is not off the table! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2232215 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 20:56:11 +0000 Coffee-lover 2232215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: </p> <p>My dd is 7 weeks old right now. I have to go back to work for 9 months to be elegible for leave again. June 2016 is when I can take leave again. We will probably start trying in April. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2232203 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 20:41:16 +0000 Pirouette 2232203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: I will say the difference between lo at 15 months and 18 months is like night and day and makes me feel more ok about the idea than I did previously. She's so much more of a little person now, and that makes me better able to imagine her as a big sister. And she weaned, so obviously that helps :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2232103 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 19:24:16 +0000 dc yoga bee 2232103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For TTC #2 I would like to<br /> -Lose some weight/ get healthier. Pregnancy was hard on me, and I started about 30lbs overweight. I would like to be in great shape to handle a second pregnancy with a toddler in tow. I have a feeling M is going to be an active one!</p> <p>-Buy a house. We upgraded to a two bedroom apt when I got my bfp, and I realized once DD was born that it's too small for 2 adults, 1 baby and all her gear, and two dogs. We put a contract to build a house when she was four weeks old, and are so excited after years and years of saving and feeling like we would never get there. Hopefully, everything works out, and we will close in December.</p> <p>-Other: This newborn thing is hard! I will need some time to forget the colic, reflux, and sleepless nights! Also, I don't want to rush this time with DD. I'm a new parent, and just want to soak all this up. However, I don't feel our family is complete. There is another person missing who just isn't here yet. Someday, I can't wait to meet him or her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231974 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 17:16:56 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 2231974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We knew we wanted our first two close together, and were lucky that we were already pretty well set up to have a second right away (already owned a home, large-enough car, don't have to pay for childcare, great health insurance, I recovered well from pregnancy/childbirth, didn't need to save for mat leave, etc. etc. ). The only thing we could have waited for was for DD1 to start STTN, but that didn't happen until she 22 months, so I am glad we didn't wait!</p> <p>We never used protection after DD1 was born. I was EBF and ended up getting pregnant when she was 10 months old. We were both ready and we love the 19 month age gap! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231937 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 16:40:10 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2231937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My age was a big factor. We want a big family and didn't have our first until I was almost 32.<br /> Now that #3 will be here before I'm 35 I think we're going to take some time before #4. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231928 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 16:31:51 +0000 gilmoregirl 2231928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: if only I could order up an easy baby for my second. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231809 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 14:44:17 +0000 LovelyPlum 2231809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gilmoregirl: you responded as I was :happy: Yes, I struggle with the whole newborn thing, too. It was just so draining that part of me wishes we had just had another one right away so that I didn't remember normal life. Realistically, I think the closest ours will be is 2.5 years apart. It is farther than I originally wanted, but I can't do it right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231808 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 14:41:53 +0000 LovelyPlum 2231808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsrugbee: LOL, sure it's an option :happy: I so thought I'd be in that camp, but alas. Glad for you that it did!</p> <p>@mrsjyw: @Pirouette: yes, thank you. I forgot about the whOle get back to baseline without nursing/being pregnant thing. It is not that I want my body to myself so much as I was/am frigging tired from the stress. It did not do kindly to me, so I do appreciate the break.</p> <p>@nana87: preach, girlfriend. I was so hoping you'd chime in, because the school schedule makes me So. Confused!! I can't decide whether to plan around research trips/teaching/writing/interviewing, or just say "F*ck it, no one is getting jobs anyways, just do whatever," at which point WHY AM I DOING THIS AGAIN?! and I proceed to have an existential crisis about my life. All I know is that exams are in September-ish, and I would really like to do a research trip next summer for which I don't want to be massively pregnant. But I seriously lost a year to 18 months with the stress of LO, so who knows how far back LO2 would push me. But I don't know how much I care? I meam, I do, but what am I supposed to do, put my life on hold? Gah.</p> <p>@Pirouette: @T.H.O.U.: good point. I think I could handle two, but it is fun to see her change and grow so much </p> <p> @lovehoneybee: handling pregnancy is a big reason for us to wait. The anxiety associated with it freaks me out. Not ready for that again!</p> <p>@Foodnerd81: right, the colicky baby... I loved the cuddles, but that screaming was very hard to handle.</p> <p>@MrsKoala: eek!!! Congrats to your DH! To be honest, this is probably the single biggest factor for us. DH is due a promotion in the new year, so as soon as that comes through, we will probably pull tole goalie and make the rest work. It is super nerve wracking, though. Good luck, Mama!</p> <p>@ShootingStar: exciting!! Good luck!</p> <p>@mrscobee: @mrsrain: @petunia354: @autumnlove: @catomd00: @Cherrybee: @Mae: @catlady: @2littlepumpkins: @BKCaribBaby: thank you for sharing! Your responses have given me a lot to think about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231800 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 14:39:06 +0000 gilmoregirl 2231800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: this is hard for me. I am realizing more and more that I didn't do well with a newborn and that as Ben gets easier (he was a hard baby but is a fairly easy toddler...so far) I want time to actually enjoy having a baby. We have always planned to table any talk until he's two, but at this point I can't even imagine being ready then. Daycare costs are an issue that I also will factor in. A three year age gap will be a lot more feasible financially. </p> <p>I think that no matter what you decide to do you will find a way to make it work. There is often not a perfect time for a first, and I suspect the same is true for the second. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231685 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 13:54:47 +0000 mrsrugbee 2231685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"Have all the babies" is not an option? Once I got my general shape (6 mo PP) back I was ready for #2. My period returned at 9 mo PP and we conceived two cycles later. DD &amp; DS will be 19 mo apart </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231668 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 13:38:55 +0000 BKCaribBaby 2231668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I started two jobs within a short time of each other. I didn’t want to go into maternity leave for this job or my last one in my first year, so we have waited. Also I wanted about a 3 year age gap. We’ll probably have a slightly larger gap than that if things are timed a certain way. For age reasons, we probably should have had them closer together, but I wasn’t interested in doing that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231643 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 13:23:33 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2231643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We waited to make a big move but then that didn't happen. We started ntnp actually just before the move was supposed to happen and we stared ttc right when it didn't happen. It took another ten months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231637 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 13:21:29 +0000 catlady 2231637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our main criteria were:<br /> - LO at least 18 months old (to give my body time to recover and time for her to be the baby)<br /> - Aim for a spring/summer birth if possible<br /> - General feeling of really being ready for another<br /> - DH didn't care but I wanted to be done paying off a certain student loan so we could put those monthly payments towards daycare tuition #2<br /> - (Originally I also wanted to be done nursing LO but now I'm just going with it)</p> <p>We just checked off all the boxes so we are gearing up to start trying next month. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231525 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 12:26:18 +0000 nana87 2231525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>AAAHHH I cannot believe our babies are even old enough to think about this :silly: </p> <p>I voted other...I feel really confused and overwhelmed about when would be the best time in terms of grad school/job market stuff. We aren't emotionally there yet (esp dh, he's like noooooo way right now, haha), but I also really need to think through how many more years I need to finish my dissertation and the corresponding funding issues that come with that (like, do I apply for write up grants this fall/winter? wait until next fall? aaaaah...). I would rather have lo2 in grad school than after since it's so much more flexible but I've already gotten so slowed down by taking this year as part-time that I don't know what to do.</p> <p>I also want a larger age gap, I think. My brother and sil have 3 daughters, and the 2nd and 3rd are 25 months apart. it's been a hard age gap (according to my mom, haha--my brother and sil haven't complained at all but my mom tells me allllll the time that niece 2 is having trouble adjusting. oooh mothers and their blabber mouths...). So I think I'd rather there be a 2.5-3 year gap. </p> <p>So yeah, I have no idea. I think we might start trying in the late winter/early spring? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231524 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 12:26:17 +0000 Mae 2231524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure we do want another, but if we do we will wait to TTC until LO is at least 2 years old. The biggest reason is that I had a c-section and some complications and was told that getting pregnant less than 2 years from LO's birth would be a bigger risk to me. Also if we were going to do it we'd want to sort out my job situation, our financial situation (mostly due to double daycare costs), and I'd like LO to be old enough where she could be a tiny bit helpful with a new baby, rather than a crazy toddler who still needs supervision every single second of the day lest she kills herself or one of our animals lol. Realistically I think if we do it we'll probably wait until she is about 3. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231502 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 12:11:48 +0000 mrsjyw 2231502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We wanted at least a 2 year age gap, I wanted my body to myself after being pregnant and nursing DS for a year, we wanted to take a "just us" trip (and did when DS was around 18 months),l so we started loosely talking about it then and started actively TTC a few months before his 2nd bday. I had an early CP and then got our sticky BFP just before DS turned 2. The boys will be just over 2.5 years apart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231496 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 12:08:51 +0000 Pirouette 2231496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: yes this! I answered "other" because I realized once LO came along that the age gap really wasn't that important after all. my kids will hopefully be close whether they are a year or 5 years apart. I just wanted to enjoy my little girl and soak up every minute of the phase when she's still changing every single day and growing so fast. Also, I wanted a little time after weaning before getting pregnant again. and last but definitely NOT least, I wanted some time with DH, because we didn't have a ton of spouse time together when LO was young. </p> <p>I'm feeling like all those things are starting to be in order, and we'll be comfortable TTC in due course. but i don't feel any pressure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231473 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 12:00:54 +0000 Foodnerd81 2231473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The biggest thing was we wanted to be emotionally ready to do it all again. C wasn't an easy newborn but is generally an easygoing toddler so I wanted to enjoy that. I SAH so we didn't have to worry about daycare payments but everything else is still expensive. </p> <p>We also wanted to be living in our condo for a certain amount of time before having a second - 2 bedroom and we would have liked to move to a 3 bed, tax benefits and such to living here for a set amount of time first. </p> <p>Around the time I got my period back at 18 months or so I started feeling like I was almost ready to start again. It's happening sooner than planned for the condo situation but we can handle it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231383 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 11:13:23 +0000 Cherrybee 2231383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just wanted to feel like I had parenting 1 down before we TTC #2. We are now an entire year past when we had planned to start TTC and I'm still not there yet. Everything else is in place! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231377 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 11:09:29 +0000 catomd00 2231377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD is 16 months and we will start trying next cycle I think. Our biggest concerns were time with her and maternity leave since I started a new job. I am slightly concerned about the plan for daycare (right now she is with my in laws 3 days) so I don't know how that will change with another. The cost is less of an issue since it won't be full time dc for 2. We would like to move but it's not as much of a priority. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231370 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 11:05:10 +0000 LovelyPlum 2231370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: Try now? I think I fixed it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231366 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 11:04:03 +0000 autumnlove 2231366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We waited to TTC 3 until physical therapy and EI sessions slowed down for LO 2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231361 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 11:00:30 +0000 petunia354 2231361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All of the above? We wanted a larger age gap, I needed to heal physically and emotionally (emotionally took much longer) wanted to lose some weight, wanted to sell our house move closer to family....</p> <p>We've pretty much achieved everything I listed above so we're planning on TTC in the fall. That should give us a 3.5 yr age gap! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231296 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 10:23:39 +0000 mrsrain 2231296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Originally we wanted a 3 year age gap. After she arrived and I got used to parenthood I began pushing to TTC after her first birthday. I did make a big push to lose more weight before we began trying this month, but there were definitely more reasons to push forward than to wait another year! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231288 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 10:17:06 +0000 MrsKoala 2231288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're planning to NTNP (EEK!) right now and then TTC for real in a couple months if it doesn't happen. We were going to wait a while (sometime later next year) but DH got a raise/promotion that would make it possible to pay for another spot in daycare and I always wanted kids that are closer in age so we are going to go for it. I am struggling with the fact that I'm still dealing with PPA and I don't think I can go off my meds yet so I'm not sure how that will work but I guess we will figure that out when we need to. I think finances are an important thing to think about but being ready emotionally is the most important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231285 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 10:13:17 +0000 ShootingStar 2231285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When DS was about 11 or 12 months we felt like we were getting to a point where we could handle 2 kids. But I wasn't ready to be pregnant yet (for the most part it was difficult on me) and we felt like it was too soon to be able to swing the daycare payment. When DS was 8 months we moved into a new house with plenty of space for 2 kids, something that was severely lacking in our old 2 bedroom townhouse.</p> <p>I'm just about to start back up with my RE and get new blood work as soon as I hit CD 3. I finally feel like I can deal with being pregnant again and we're hoping for a 2.5-3 year age gap. Daycare costs go down at 33 months, so by the time we have to pay for 2, it'll be a little easier to handle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231283 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 10:12:07 +0000 lovehoneybee 2231283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I needed to work at least a year before the birth of a second to qualify for maternity leave (I didn't go back to work until he was 19m), and we needed to move into a bigger place (we were in a shoebox apartment). I got a BFP the week after my one-year anniversary at work and we ended up moving a few weeks later.</p> <p>There were other, smaller things, like ideally E will be out of diapers by the time LO2 comes, but the above two were the really big ones for us.</p> <p>And...this wasn't quantifiable, but I needed to be emotionally/mentally ready. I really don't think I could have handled 2 under 2, or any closer, for example. I just wasn't ready to do it again yet.</p> <p>ETA: And it wasn't a deal-breaker I really wanted to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight...which I hit right before my BFP :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-did-you-feel-comfortable-ttc-again#post-2231279 Thu, 09 Jul 2015 10:09:02 +0000 mrscobee 2231279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Currently pregnant with LO1. We want our kids close in age. The only thing that will hold me back from trying is if I can't lose the weight (so that's what I voted). I feel like any financial type thing we'll just deal with and sort out once we get pregnant. </p>