https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 06:22:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1779477 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 15:59:01 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1779477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: E is the opposite. The does grassy the concept, however he doesn't say the words. Of he needs to apologize, he will get a look of remorse and then hug someone and lift their head up, and look them in the eye and say, "nice?" Which basically means "are we good?" Haha. I think he probably got it about 2 months ago when I started using timeouts, because at the end of a time out, I'd ask him to apologize, give me a hug and then get up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1779390 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 15:27:12 +0000 lamariniere 1779390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For DS to say it on his own unprompted and used in the correct context was probably a few months before he turned 3. We had always insisted on him apologizing whenever it was warranted, be he would have to be prompted. These days when he does say he's sorry unprompted, I know he REALLY means it and does feel remorse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1779160 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 14:33:40 +0000 LuLu Mom 1779160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are working on it so she knows that when's she wrong/naughty that the appropriate response is an apology even if she isn't quite getting the grasp. Whenever timeout is over she comes and sits on my lap and we talk about why she was in timeout and she always ends it with a hug/kiss/sorry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1779090 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 14:08:49 +0000 SleepyMonkey 1779090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm L started saying sorry a couple months ago. We started asking her to do it when she hit us or did sometjjng bad, and she picked up the concept fairly quickly, and started saying she a sorry when she did something even remotely naughty (without us prompting). But, she was more agreeable at that age. We don't force her to say it and I'm not sure that she would if she really didn't want to. She doesn't say it as much anymore though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1779061 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 14:00:08 +0000 hilsy85 1779061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: oh yes definitely! Especially if you're adding in the explanation for her. Sounds like a good way to start! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1779057 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:59:19 +0000 Tidybee 1779057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: smart!!! i will try that next time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1779052 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:57:37 +0000 Freckles 1779052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: LOL, i don't think my LO at 27 months is capable of explaining why yet. I've read that it's between 3 and 5 that they need to start understanding why they're sorry. I do agree about the empty apologies, and just want to clarify that i don't stand over her and yell, "say you're sorry!!" :silly: . But i hope that asking her to say "sorry" coupled with an explanation as to what she did wrong will signal that actions have consequences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1779017 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:47:11 +0000 hilsy85 1779017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: I guess my issue with pushing LO to say it is that it then becomes empty words (or that is my fear). Ideally, I would have him say sorry and then say WHY he is sorry--i.e. I'm sorry that I pushed you on the playground because that hurt you. But I don't know when he'll be capable of that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1779000 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:44:29 +0000 Freckles 1779000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO started saying "i'm sorry" at the 2 year mark but she usually has to be prompted for the things that matter. Once in a while she'll say she's sorry if she spills something on the floor, but she gets really reluctant in saying sorry for something she should be sorry about!</p> <p>I have no problems making LO say sorry because how else is she going to learn? I won't allow LO to do something inappropriate and then just run off and play as if she did nothing wrong. Maybe i'm the odd person out here but i think it makes them stop and think/understand why an apology is warranted. Of course, it depends on their age/verbal level.</p> <p>@autumnlove: I always feel like reluctance = they know they did something wrong. hahahaa </p> <p>@hilsy85: Before LO knew/understood "sorry" i had her give a hug instead. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778965 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:33:35 +0000 hilsy85 1778965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: ah nice! Wish someone would deal with that for me--I always get kind of sweaty and awkward when it comes to dealing with another child that my LO has hurt or made upset! :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778957 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:30:37 +0000 MamaMoose 1778957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Day Care is big on "I'm sorry" so my 20 month old totally grasps the concept. Immediately after being asked to say "I'm Sorry" she will go to hug the person she hurt/upset and usually verbally say "sorry" as well. But I didn't teach it to her, school did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778942 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:23:42 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 1778942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She's been saying it since she was a little over 1.5 yrs old. We make it a point to explain that, when you do something wrong, you need to apologize, and that some actions or words hurt other people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778939 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:22:52 +0000 hilsy85 1778939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tidybee: hahaha I totally use LO's stuffed animals to act out apologies to myself lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778932 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:21:36 +0000 Tidybee 1778932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD doesn't grasp the concept or have the words for it yet (almost 21 months). I just try to demonstrate and say "I'm sorry" to the other person...but that other person is usually me haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778883 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:08:31 +0000 regberadaisy 1778883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: haha LOL!!! And how can you resist that?!</p> <p>Yes, if she say, hits someone and refuses to say sorry after repeated requests then she goes in timeout. So stubborn &amp; defiant! I only let her out of timeout after she agrees to say sorry and then saids it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778868 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:06:26 +0000 hilsy85 1778868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: @locavore_mama: @swurlygurl: so kind of funny--LO's way of saying "thank you" is also his way of saying "give me"--I think because everytime someone gives him something, we say "Say thank you", so now I think he thinks that if he says thank you he will get whatever it is that he is coveting!</p> <p>@locavore_mama: ah ok so timeout if she doesn't say sorry--that makes sense if they are being purposely defiant I guess? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778841 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:02:58 +0000 immabeetoo 1778841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: I handle it the same way as you do, suggesting but not demanding. He has just started unsolicited thank you's at 20m. We haven't had a ton of sorry practice because of our move and not seeing many kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778839 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:02:35 +0000 regberadaisy 1778839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I forgot when we first started asking her to. Fairly early. But at the beginning I would not push it as much. But nowadays (last few months or so when I felt she understood the meaning of I'm sorry) if she hit/hurt someone and will NOT say sorry then she goes in time out.</p> <p>@yellowbird: @swurlygurl: I think we don't give our kids enough credit for what they can comprehend! One of my LO's first words were "please" and "thank you"! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778834 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:01:39 +0000 swurlygurl 1778834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yellowbird: Daycare? L says 'Thank You' properly which floors me, because I've never once asked her to say it. I wonder if it's something that daycare stresses? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778807 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:55:51 +0000 autumnlove 1778807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is 2.5 and she says it occasionally. She won't say it to her sister in certain situations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778805 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:55:44 +0000 yellowbird 1778805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My lo (22 months) says it all the time in the right context and I've never even asked her to. I don't know where she gets this stuff! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778803 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:55:33 +0000 swurlygurl 1778803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: I would agree - it's probably important to start making it clear that's what's going to be expected, but to also understand the limitations of their comprehension</p> <p>L is 18 months and I've been trying to make her tell me 'sorry' when she's being mean, but there is definitely nothing clicking. She just looks at me like I'm crazy </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778797 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:53:09 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1778797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: If she won't say it, I just kind of let it go. </p> <p>She just started saying it on her own a couple weeks ago. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778792 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:52:05 +0000 hilsy85 1778792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rainbow Sprinkles: is that when she started doing it on her own when you asked, or when you started insisting in her saying it? What do you do if she won't? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778787 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:51:14 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1778787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>24 months, and that was only when I specifically asked her to say it.</p> <p>Now, at 27 months, she says "I'm sorry, mama" every time she bumps into me, drops something, spills something, etc. It really is the sweetest thing. ;)</p> <p>It's harder to get her to say it to her friends. Usually she says it a couple minutes after an incident, because she kind of needs to "calm down." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778778 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:49:19 +0000 hilsy85 1778778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NovBaby1112: yes, should have said I feel the same way about thank you--I"ll ask him to say it but if he doesn't, I just say it for him. We also get some scratching and biting here too--he does this thing where he digs his nails in and then pinches--it's really fun :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778770 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:47:53 +0000 NovBaby1112 1778770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: I agree with you. I try to get LO to say "I'm sorry" or "thank you", but I'm not going to ask a hundred times! I don't want to force it just so she says it, I just kindly ask her to, and if she doesn't I do what you do and say sorry for her. Unfortunately we've been working on the "I'm sorry" thing at home alot, since M has been hiting and biting me when she doesnt get her way :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-los-start-saying-im-sorry#post-1778754 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:43:25 +0000 hilsy85 1778754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When do you think is appropriate for LOs to start apologizing to other children that they hurt, or to you as a parent if they hurt/disobey? If they refuse to say it, when do you insist, and HOW do you insist?</p> <p>LO is 21 months and fairly verbal, and has used the words "I'm sorry" before, but I don't think he grasps the concept of apologizing for hurting someone. At the playground the other day, he grabbed and twisted a little girl's shirt, so I tried to ask him to say he was sorry--he didn't, and I didn't insist or make a big deal, but I did apologize to the little girl, and explained to him that we keep our hands to ourselves and use only gentle hands on the playground. </p> <p>What do you do in those situations? I hate seeing parents badgering kids to just say "i'm sorry" so they feel like the situation has been resolved, especially when it's clear the kids are saying it just to say it, or don't really understand why what they did was in appropriate. Thoughts? </p>