Hellobee Boards Topic: When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?

Hellobee Boards Topic: When do you send LO into public restrooms alone? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 01:00:39 +0000 Mrsbells on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810859 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 12:07:49 +0000 Mrsbells 2810859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @bamblm: DD is about to turn 6 and honestly i dont feel comfortable sending her in a lone. I always go with her and I dont know when that will change. Even when we get to the point that I feel she is ready to start going into the stall alone I plan to be right outside the stall door (inside the bathroom). Theres just so many factors that prevent me from being able to let her go in alone irene on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810819 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 10:10:29 +0000 irene 2810819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I didn't vote because I am perplexed. Maybe you can talk to the people who runs the place as in why do they think it is OK for a 6 year old to go into a public changing room to shower, dry, and change himself? I am almost positive that no one follows that rule on the sign. While I am 100% not comfortable with sending my 6 year old into a public changing room and expect him to do everything himself (he'd probably drag the towel all through the floor and then wipe it on himself eeek), I also don't know when will be an appropriate time. It really depends on how ready your child is, I'd think. My DS is also newly 6. I am sending him to the public restroom by himself occasionally starting on his 6th birthday. Every time he wants to go, I will offer if he wants me to go with him (to the ladies' room) or if he wants to go by himself (to the men's room). He did it by himself maybe 3 or 4 out of 10 times. This is helpful especially when there 's a line at the ladie's room :wink: . I am usually right outside and can hear him call out to me (nothing so far). I have preached to him to never touch anything when he is in the bathroom, and as he comes out I always ask if he was able to wash his hands/reach the soap by himself and if he wants me to go with him to wash his hands again, and he usually tells me someone helped him get the soap and he can wash his hands. If you are really uncomfortable, give him some hand sanitizer. If you think about it, they do use the restroom by themselves anyway at school, so they should be fine :happy: nana87 on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810805 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 09:23:16 +0000 nana87 2810805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I wouldn't want to send my kid alone into a locker room at that age either! But I would be fine with it if it were like, a single-use restroom in a familiar restaurant. ValentineMommy on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810781 Tue, 20 Mar 2018 07:45:52 +0000 ValentineMommy 2810781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I must be the only helicopter parent here (lol)....my kids are (newly) 5, 2.5, and 11m and at this moment I can't imagine my oldest is anywhere near ready to go into a locker room full of strangers alone. Not even close. I'd bet that he wouldn't want to either. lamariniere on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810721 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 19:20:25 +0000 lamariniere 2810721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think you should ask about the policy and stress that you are not comfortable about your child showering and changing alone. My son is 7, and has been using public toilets alone since about 5. I mean, I obviously make judgment calls, like in a little café or restaurant it’s fine, but sometimes I would bring him with me in a mall/airport. Now that he’s 7, I’m pretty confident he can go in just about any bathroom alone, but again, I still bring him into the ladies if I’m at all uncomfortable. And honestly, I would just walk into the men’s to find my kid if I thought something was wrong. As for changing rooms, he can definitely shower and dress alone, but would I want him to do it essentially by himself in a locker room? It would really depend on the situation. 2littlepumpkins on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810682 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 16:02:14 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2810682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Idk where everyone is from but I'm pretty sure around here you would get more flack for not supervising and letting him go alone than for taking him with you! 2littlepumpkins on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810680 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 15:59:43 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2810680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @bamblm: I'm with ya on the germs! So gross. At least he's a boy though... I would just have him go at home unless it's far away or you're there a long time. birdofafeather on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810664 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 15:16:53 +0000 birdofafeather 2810664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ our Y is the same way, but there is a restroom open to everyone in the pool area, a shower to rinse off (not fully shower) and changing stalls. i have all girls, so this isn't an issue for me currently, but i imagine if we're all there with DH as well, I would want to stagger the care of the kids so send one to just rinse off and dress in the stalls. i have sent my 5 year old into a restroom stall to pee alone, but no way would i send her into a shower alone with no way to get to her unless she came out! bamblm on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810654 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 14:20:02 +0000 bamblm 2810654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Thank you everyone for your feedback! I just wanted to make sure my thought process was not flawed. I like to try to shower there just because we can continue on to the next adventure/activity as opposed to going home, showering and changing, then getting back out again. I know my son could *probably* manage to get himself showered and changed, but honestly, even with my help he practically rolls around on the filthy wet floor trying to change in and out of his suit with my admittedly divided attention. He also tends to drag all of his clothes across the various puddles and wet floor of the locker room. I might also be a bit of a germophobe so I get a little green just thinking about what it would be like if i sent him in alone. SO yeah that's not happening. I'd rather get everyone home if that was our only option. Foodnerd81 on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810649 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 13:56:54 +0000 Foodnerd81 2810649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't understand how pools that are family centered don't have family bathrooms or changing rooms. We looked at two gyms with pools and one had no family bathrooms at all, while the other one has mens and women's locker rooms plus a couple of family changing rooms with a toilet and shower all in one room. Opposite sex children 4 and up are not technically supposed to go in the locker rooms (no one complains if people push that though because we all get it). In your situation, I would stop showering there as well. I only have two girls and the oldest is 4.5 and shes definitely not anywhere close to ready for all that. psw27 on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810645 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 13:42:36 +0000 psw27 2810645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I voted 7 because I cannot fathom my son being mature enough to handle a shower and getting dressed in a timely fashion before that. He's only 3.5 now, so I'm guessing in a few more years I can trust him but it would be on a case by case basis. Mama Bird on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810632 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 13:04:00 +0000 Mama Bird 2810632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Five seems way too young for a locker room full of strangers. Especially considering showering can take a while, it's not like they run in and out. My local pool has the same rule, and if DS ever signs up to swim there, I'm totally asking DH to take him. I wouldn't even care if a young boy was in the women's locker room though. Better if they're safe, and in my experience just about everyone changes in the stalls or under a towel, not in full view of strangers. skipra on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810631 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 13:00:13 +0000 skipra 2810631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The pool where we take swim lessons has a similar sign. I think it's under 5 so technically my oldest should not be in the changing room with me and there is not a family changing room. I do not send him to the men's room alone and there are other moms who bring their even older sons into the women's room too. Typically the families with older sons tend to have them change in the changing rooms for some privacy. I feel like if you would get in trouble for leaving the same aged child alone at home or in the car or whatever it should not be expected that you would send them into a locker room alone! If it is something that is strongly enforced, I would ask someone about it because yeah, 6 is way too young for that. raspberries on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810630 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 12:57:41 +0000 raspberries 2810630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Our YMCA is the same way (kids only up to a certain age can go into either locker room with parents - there's no family changing room. I'm not sure what the age limit is because my oldest LO is only 2, so I haven't had to worry about it yet.) That being said, I kind of agree with @Pollywog: - I'd just change my habits and shower at home, to minimize the amount of time your son is by himself. Pollywog on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810629 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 12:53:11 +0000 Pollywog 2810629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have mixed feelings. I personally get annoyed at grade schoolers staring at me as I am getting changed, but think 6 is too young to shower and change by yourself. What parents at my pool do is just have their kids throw on clothes and shower at home. Does your elementary school do swimming? If so, do the kids shower and get changed by themselves? We did starting in kindergarten (and I supervised them as a lifeguard). The littles were fine. The problems were the third graders. But it's different situation than mixed swimming with adults. peachykeen on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810625 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 12:35:07 +0000 peachykeen 2810625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I agree this situation is hard and depends so much on the child/facility. In your situation, if I wasn't comfortable with my son changing alone in the men's room, I would probably hold a towel around him in a corner of the pool area and have him quickly change behind the towel. I would just have both kids shower at home, which is what I do with DD1 now. I may or may not have my daughter change behind a towel (it would be really hard with my 3-yr-old DD since she needs so much help getting her swimsuit on and off) - I would probably just change her quickly in the ladies changing room and have your son wait outside the door on the non-pool side. If she doesn't have to pee, it takes me 2 min or so to simply change DD1 into street clothes and throw her wet stuff in the bag. Ajsmommy on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810619 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 12:05:19 +0000 Ajsmommy 2810619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I didn't vote simply bc I don't know what my answer is. I will say my DD is 4 and there's no way I let her use a bathroom by herself or shower by herself. If pushed to pick an age I'm thinking maybe 8, however I think it might vary per child and situation/circumstances. alphagam84 on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810616 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 11:56:33 +0000 alphagam84 2810616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's hard to say and depends on each child. I would be uncomfortable having a 5 year old plus aged child of the opposite sex in the locker room area while I was changing and having them most likely stare. At the pool I use they having a family changing are. One time a father sent his daughter into the women's room to change by herself. He stood outside the door the entire time and occasionally opened it a crack (around a corner so he couldn't see anything) and would make sure she was okay and not wasting time. Dahlia on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810614 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 11:43:31 +0000 Dahlia 2810614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Ours has the same rule, but also has a family changing room out on the pool deck. Maybe ask if they have one? bamblm on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810613 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 11:42:56 +0000 bamblm 2810613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @muffinsmuffins: @PinkElephant: @kiddosc: I am pretty sure they do not have a family changing room, there are only two doors into the changing areas, for mens and womens, with corresponding exits into the pool area. I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask, there may be something further removed from the pool area. @Mrs. Toad: I am a little concerned with people complaining if I keep bringing him in, but part of me also feels like those would be the same people complaining that I left him to his own devices to change and shower alone or complaining that I left him alone sitting in the lobby waiting unsupervised without me. KT326 on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810608 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 11:14:40 +0000 KT326 2810608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Using a bathroom and going into a locker room to shower and change are vastly different. I let my 6 year old go to the bathroom alone (although I’m usually right outside the door) but I would not let him shower or change by himself. He is not mature enough to use the shower alone or get dressed in a timely manner. Plus I worry about other people. I wouldn’t want him to annoy someone nor would I any anyone trying to do something to him. Mrs. Toad on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810605 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 11:10:08 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2810605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I didn't vote, as I would actually vote at an earlier age. I have let my 3 year old go into restrooms by himself. I have stood outside the door, but he insisted on using the urinals. On a couple of occasions, I have gone into the Men's room with him. Most have been small 1/2 stall restrooms. I do then drag him into the women's room to change his sister and go to the restroom myself. At one of the most common restrooms, I would be willing to let him go by himself already. My biggest concern would be other people complaining about it. looch on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810602 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 11:06:34 +0000 looch 2810602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I've let my son go unattended by me, with an older cousin that I trust, but that was one time, in a restaurant in a small town in Europe. He's just turned 7 and there's no way I would let him in a multi-stall bathroom unattended. He doesn't always make the best decisions and frankly, it's not a risk I am willing to take. As for the swimming scenario, I'd ask for more details on what the expectation is. kiddosc on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810601 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 11:05:07 +0000 kiddosc 2810601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Are you sure that the center doesn't have a family locker room? At our gym, we can bring children 4 and under into the opposite sex changing room, but after that have to use the family locker room. I send my 5 year old son into the bathroom by himself sometimes, with me waiting right outside the door. I would not send him into a locker room and trust that he was capable of getting himself showered and changed after swim lessons though. PinkElephant on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810599 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 10:58:28 +0000 PinkElephant 2810599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I didn't vote, because I think it's too broad of a question. I have three daughters - 5.5, almost 4, and 18 months. My older two are definitely old enough to use "public" restrooms in certain familiar places that I consider safe alone (or in the case of the 4 year old, alone with her big sister) - one example that comes to mind is a quick-service food place like Moe's, where the are familiar with where the bathroom is, it's a single user bathroom, and I'm in a clear line of vision to be sure it's empty/no one else is trying to enter. So in cases like, that, sure, by 5 - as early as they can manage locks, flushing, what to do if a toilet is dirty and they shouldn't use it, etc. But for more unknown places like airports? Honestly, even at 8 I'd probably want to stay close by. But I have all same-sex kids, so it's a possibility for me, so I might be biased in my answer :) I wouldn't be ok with the swim club situation you described, and would say something to the person in charge of the program. Is there really no "family locker room" or disabled changing room that can be used in your situation? My gym has a large family locker room with a big common changing room where you can change kids, and private changing rooms with showers in case the adult in charge of them needs to get naked, too. muffinsmuffins on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810598 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 10:57:34 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2810598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ That’s pretty strange...all of our community centres have family change rooms in addition to male and female change rooms so I have never even thought of this as a problem. There are large changing stalls for privacy and any age/sex of kids/adults go in there. Does your centre have that option? To answer your question, my son is only 3.5 but I can’t even think when I would be ok sending him alone...maybe like 7 or 8? bamblm on "When do you send LO into public restrooms alone?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-do-you-send-lo-into-public-restrooms-alone#post-2810595 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 10:50:22 +0000 bamblm 2810595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This question is because the locker room in our swim lesson is a public community center. The signage reads that children 5 and under can enter the locker room with the opposite sex parent. I have an issue with this since that would mean in a few months i would have to send my newly six year old into the locker room to shower and change by himself, and also to wait 20 minutes or so completely unattended while I get his three year old sister showered and changed. Also, honestly, we don't send him into the public restrooms alone now. He does use the restroom alone at home or friends houses. But the main issue is he is constantly touching every disgusting public bathroom surface possible, even with someone with him reminding him not to. Also in our state, it is a crime for children to be unattended below the age of 8, and you can be fined for inadequate supervision of children under 13. Should I be expecting him to shower and change alone, then sit and wait for us in the lobby until he is done? Should I just keep bringing him in with us until someone says something? or inquire about the sign? ETA: I changed to poll to sending your LO in alone to shower.