https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 12:32:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229772 Wed, 08 Jul 2015 08:00:05 +0000 snowjewelz 2229772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTal: Oh I know it's not easy! I'm a super OCD/clean freak so it irks me to no end that I can't spend the time I do cleaning/organizing like I did before. When I "let go", it's usually when I'm just too exhausted to care haha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229686 Wed, 08 Jul 2015 06:52:25 +0000 Ajsmommy 2229686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I was in your situation and knew that eventually, most likely less than a year away, that I'd be home and not working it would be even harder to cope. All I'd think about is that I wasn't going to be working soon and I'd just want to get to that point, thus making it harder to get through this current time working. I don't know if that makes any sense. As a WOHM I feel like part of what makes it manageable is knowing that I have to do it or my family and that I am building my career that I won't leave and will be in for years, possibly until retirement. IF I knew that I was only doing it for 10 more months I would have NO motivation and I'd honestly just want to quit and be home NOW</p> <p>But with all that being said I will say that it does get easier. I noticed a BIG change once we were done bf'ing and off bottles and on solids. Once we got there there was no more packing lunches/snacks/bottles for the next day bc its provided by daycare and once I was done bf'ing I didn't have to pump so no more pump parts to wash, no more getting out frozen milk for the next day etc. It was a huge relief. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229664 Wed, 08 Jul 2015 06:32:17 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 2229664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's always a struggle, but I think eventually you adjust to a new normal. Like others have said, if it's possible, could you go down to 4 days a week? I know that would eliminate a lot of the stress Im feeling (but it's not possible in this current job/financial situation). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229643 Wed, 08 Jul 2015 06:00:29 +0000 looch 2229643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find that things change, and then you get used to it and then things change again. If you're looking for a time when things get better, I don't know if it will ever come, because things are different and it becomes your new reality.</p> <p>There are a ton of great "hacks" in this thread, I do quite a few of them, this board is a great resource for working moms. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229585 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 22:46:51 +0000 Anagram 2229585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTal: It got way better for me after the one year mark. At that age, I wasn't packing bottles any more I was just packing 1 water sippy and 1 milk sippy (which many parents leave at daycare for teachers to refill as needed, but I like to wash my sippies each night).</p> <p>We also pack her breakfast, lunch, and snacks because of her dairy intolerance but once I got into the habit of packing her lunch while I prepared dinner, it became pretty seamless--and DH is totally responsible for her breakfast and snack. He chooses to wake up early and make it/pack it each morning while I get ready for work, because LO and I leave before he does.</p> <p>I second having an involved partner--my husband really supports me working, so he does 50% (honestly, more now that I'm pregnant again) of everything in the house--cleaning, LO care, laundry. And he also works long hours. Luckily, he's an energetic, hands on kinda guy.</p> <p>Packing her daycare foods used to be this huge chore we would leave till after LO went to bed every night--and by that time, we were so tired we both resented doing it. Now, I prepare dinner before DH is even home from work and I pack her lunch and sippies then and don't think about it the rest of the night---DH does it each morning and doesn't think about it the rest of the day. Somehow, it makes it seem like a smaller job.</p> <p>Not sure if that makes sense. Also, I don't know if you BF and pump, but once we switched to hemp milk when LO was 13 months, I felt like I had SO much more time--no pump parts to clean, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229551 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 21:44:28 +0000 gingerbebe 2229551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTal: DH and I have two sets of law school loans that we have been working our tails off to pay off the last several years (although slowed down after baby) so I totally understand not spending money. However, I really think a monthly deep clean will help because you can more easily maintain a certain level of order and it will reduce your overall anxiety. Alternatively, another thing that helps (although seems counterintuitive) is invite friends over for dinner on the weekend. It will force you to clean the house and socialize with friends and the baby can go to sleep until your friends leave and then you will have leftovers, a semi-clean house, a little adult time, and just need to run a few extra dishes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229538 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 21:24:00 +0000 JennyD 2229538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel your pain! I remember those days, and we weren't both at work until LO was 1!</p> <p>My husband always did help a ton, and still does. I used to get groceries on my lunch break. Now if I can swing it, I leave work early on Fridays (usually possible about once a month) and get groceries, make a Costco run, clean the house, wash may car, go for a run, whatever. My sister used to come over and clean for me. She would also run some errands for me too. </p> <p>It will get better. Take it easy on yourself. Ask for help from a friend. Bow out of weekend plans that you're not enthusiastic about. Minimize your cleaning. Set aside even just a couple hours once a week to your son and you'll feel better. </p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229488 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 20:48:18 +0000 catomd00 2229488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is 16 months and it wasn't until around a year I felt like my house was almost acceptable on a semi-regular basis! It gets easier when they drop to 2 or even 1 nap and eat more solids/get off the bottle! Eventually they stay up later and you have more quality time. When they start sleeping better, you'll have more energy to do some chores during the week so you don't spend all weekend playing catch up. Hang in there and lower your expectations for yourself! You'll have plenty of time when you're retired to have a spotless house ! If it makes you feel any better, I think I got less done when I was only working part time (went back full time when dd was 14 months.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229436 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 20:11:15 +0000 catlady 2229436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs! It definitely gets better. Months 3-6 were the absolute worst for me. At around the 6 month mark, both DH and I felt like we could finally handle things without drowning (it helps that she finally started sleeping a little better at that point). By 9ish months, we still felt like we were always busy but everything was pretty much rote so it was easier. By 12 months (after I was able to stop pumping and prepping bottles all the time), everything was much simpler. Now that LO's a toddler, it's really not that hard (I mean, parenting is always a challenge, but we're generally on top of chores, etc.). </p> <p>Honestly, it sounds like you are doing a great job. These early days seem endless but there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229409 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 19:49:05 +0000 MrsTal 2229409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for the input and hugs, it helps a lot. I think part of my issue right now is that the part-time position I want is available and I just can't apply for it and I know it won't be posted again until next summer, so I'm struggling with the fact I will either have to leave my job completely (which I don't really want to do, I do enjoy my job) or wait until next summer for this position to *maybe* open.</p> <p>@Portboston: Thank you! That's exactly how I feel about it, my baby is only going to be a baby for a short time so I want to spend it with him, but financially it would be SO much easier for us if I could stay at work even just 6 more months.</p> <p>@lemondrop: I wish a 4 day work week was an option, but it's just not. I would have to do part-time or nothing, which sucks.</p> <p>@Adira: He's 5 months. DH thinks that his schedule being unpredictable is a big part of it, he's still up one or two times a night and doesn't get up at a consistent time, so I never know how much time I will have to get ready in the morning.</p> <p>@gingerbebe: My schedule is pretty inflexible, which I'm also having a hard time with. We have talked about hiring a house cleaner but it feels a little like it defeats the purpose of us working so hard to get our loans paid off to spend money on something we can do ourselves, even if it is a pain in the butt.</p> <p>@snowjewelz: I've tried letting some of the house stuff go, but it's not easy.</p> <p>@Smurfette: DH use to travel for work and I can't even imagine how hard that would be, major props to you. DH and I have discussed trying to utilize our time better during the week, like running errands after he's asleep, maybe we really need to revisit that idea. </p> <p>@Bluebonnet: He is 5 months old. He is sleeping pretty well at night, usually has one wake up to nurse around 2AM. DH helps out a ton, so much so that I feel like a slacker sometimes lol. Those are all really good tips! Thanks for that.</p> <p>@Modern Daisy: Those are great tips! Thanks. I really wish I could take a day off once a month, PTO was eaten by maternity leave and I need a sick day it's taken out of my PTO, which sucks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229157 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 15:49:00 +0000 Modern Daisy 2229157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It started getting WAY better for us once DS started walking and was on the move 24/7. We knew at that point he was so much better off in daycare with friends and activities than home with us or a nanny.</p> <p>Some tips: hire a cleaning service, grocery shop after dinner during the week, do laundry during the week, take one day off every month or two to spend with LO, meal plan like crazy, make crock pot meals, frozen pizza once a week and when you cook at night always make something extra for LO's lunch like mac n cheese or steamed veggies.</p> <p>Honestly these things have all completely saved our sanity because now there are no errands/chores on the weekend. I also shop during my lunch break for everything possible and do tons of online ordering. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229152 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 15:46:57 +0000 PurplePeony 2229152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The first couple months were really tough for me. I don't have the option to do part-time in my current job, and it really did feel like my days went: wake up, scramble to get ready, drop DD off at daycare, work, pick her up, go home, try to find a couple minutes to play, get her to bed (which was a long process in those days), cook dinner, eat, clean the kitchen and wash bottles and pump parts, prep for the next day, collapse in bed. Rinse, repeat as nauseam. I found it got *significantly* better after I was no longer pumping and she was off bottles. Our dishwasher doesn't get those things clean and handwashing them just took SO MUCH TIME. Even now, though, it's a slog sometimes. I've just basically give up on keeping the house very clean -- I try to take care of the worst of it when I can and tell myself I'll deal with the rest someday (haha, right). It sucks, but I know I'd be more miserable as a SAHM (and if I'm honest, probably wouldn't get a whole lot more done around the house because DD is nonstop). My best solution thus far is just to let go of expectations and do the best I can. Overall, I've found it to get incrementally easier and more fun as DD gets older, but there are still days or weeks when I just want to throw in the towel. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229116 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 15:21:19 +0000 MrsKoala 2229116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How old is your LO? Honestly, once they start sleeping better and have a more predictable routine, it gets a lot easier. For me that transition began around 8 or 9 months. Hang in there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229100 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 15:09:22 +0000 Raindrop 2229100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have had some great advice. Just wanted to say you are not alone! *big hugs* Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229090 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 15:00:40 +0000 Bluebonnet 2229090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs. How old is LO? Is he sleeping at night? Is DH helping or do you feel like you're managing everything by yourself?</p> <p>I don't think there is a magic date for when it gets better, but it does get a whole lot better. Being a working parent has really taught me to figure out what is important - spend my time there, and I've become really efficient at everything else. Talk to other working moms at your company and in your friend group to understand their best tips and tricks to balance it all. </p> <p>A few things that help me:<br /> - Having a husband that is an equal partner and helps out at home<br /> - On Sundays I layout clothes for the week for LO (and sometimes for me)<br /> - I meal plan<br /> - When I cook, I make enough to have leftovers and if possible, I double whatever I'm making and freeze half.<br /> - I have a shopping list app that syncs with my husband's phone. I keep a running list of everything we need, which saves time because we don't forget things at the store.<br /> - I order as much as possible online (Amazon Prime)! so I don't spend time running errands.<br /> - Occassionaly I run errands during lunch.<br /> - Our washing machine has a delay start feature - so I can set the washer to be done when I get home from work, so I can put laundry in the dryer, and fold all before bedtime.</p> <p>The decision to work or stay home is deeply personal. If you are struggling with your decision, I'd set a date in the future (1 month, 3 months, etc) and re-evaluate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229087 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 14:59:20 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 2229087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs! It sucks, it really does. I think I got into a real groove about 4 months back at work. I will say that it will always feel like you're drowning and you hardly get to spend time with your child. ... but you get used to it. I promise it's not as awful as it sounds... </p> <p>As they get older, there is less prepping you have to do each night. I promise you'll get into the swing of what needs to get done and you'll find ways to make the most of your time together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229083 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 14:57:57 +0000 Smurfette 2229083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It does but doesn't. It is still a battle some nights for us. My DH travels so I am solo too. She is going to bed later now, so it helps since it gives us more time together during the week. </p> <p>After she goes to bed I try and get laundry and other stuff done around the house. This way when DH is home on the weekends we can spend as much time together as we can. He still has yard work to do, but he likes it, so we aren't going to hire someone for that. We have a cleaning lady which is 100% worth it. </p> <p>During the week, while you put LO down to sleep, can DH run to Target/grocery, other errands? If I could leave my house at night (after she is asleep), it would make the weekends so much less busy. Sometimes after I pick up LO, we go to Target and get it over with it for the week. She loves going and then we go grab dinner together. Yeah it takes up most of that night, but it helps a ton. She is still hanging with Mom so she is happy. </p> <p>My job wouldn't allow part time so I have to make it work. It helps knowing that she is thriving at day care and has a blast every day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229080 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 14:56:01 +0000 snowjewelz 2229080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs, and hang in there! Things were tough when I first went back to work 12 weeks pp, and DH works too. Plus DD never has the same day, so some days it's super hard! You will fall into a better rhythm! And for me personally, I just had to let it go that the house is not ever gonna be in tip top shape like it was pre-kids. I literally lay out all the chores during the week and split it up by day, and then DH and I take turns tackling stuff. But you also def have to schedule in time to just relax a lil bit and spend time w/ DH or else you'd both go crazy! I promise it gets a lil better, esp as they get older and have more awake time to spend with you, or can be a lil more independent so you can get stuff done! </p> <p>But my deepest desires it also to SAH so I totally feel you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229073 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 14:54:09 +0000 gingerbebe 2229073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you do 3/4 time? Like go to work everyday but leave 2 hours early or do 4 days a week? I think part of the difficulty is your baby is still young so they seem so small and helpless but once they get a little older and more interactive you will be able to have more quality interaction in the short amount of time you have together. If you can't go down from full time I would strongly suggest getting a housecleaner. Even once a month will make you feel so much better and not feel like you are spending all of your weekends cleaning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229072 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 14:53:52 +0000 Sparkler 2229072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With 1, things got better around the time LO was 15 months. With 2, I couldn't wait that long and switched to a part time schedule was about 10 months and I was feeling really unhappy.</p> <p>Pretty much feel the same as @Lemondrop. Some days my days off are just chores and errands, but that is okay with me since I get to do them with my kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229069 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 14:50:42 +0000 Adira 2229069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How old is your LO? I felt like things started to hit their groove for us when my first was 8-9 months. It just kind of takes a while to figure things out and it was around 9 months that my son dropped one of his late feedings and got on a more predictable 2 nap schedule. Until then, he was eating more often and his sleep was unpredictable, so I never knew what to expect each day and I had less time to do things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229049 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 14:42:38 +0000 lemondrop 2229049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's hard to find a balance in any role when you have kids. Something sooner or later makes a speed bump that upends your fine balance. </p> <p>Is a 4-day week feasible? I'm not sure that I could swing a regular 40 hour week with kids and the chaos that they bring. Yes, it will take longer to pay down that loan, but sanity is worth the price. </p> <p>For me I had to go down to part-time work (+/- 20 hours/week). It still covers my student loan and some extra budget money, but I have more time for the house and kiddos. I love my job for the reasons of @Mrs.Cowgirl mentioned on the blog yesterday, but I also like spending time with my kids even if it's just going to the grocery store and having time to just get house things done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229048 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 14:42:33 +0000 Grace 2229048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs. I think what you are doing is very hard. So try to be easy on yourself. I can't really speak from experience because I didn't go back to work that early, but the first few months for me were really hard too and my LO was over 1 year old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229038 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 14:35:50 +0000 Portboston 2229038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have advice but I wanted to send hugs!!! This is one of my fears as an almost FTM and part of the reason DH &amp; I have worked very hard to make it feasible to have me at home or working part time for a bit.<br /> If you think your quality of life will be better with you being part time and you are able to afford it, you should totally do that! These are precious years that you will never get back! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-does-it-get-better-2#post-2229014 Tue, 07 Jul 2015 14:09:23 +0000 MrsTal 2229014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When does this working parent thing get better? I've been back to work for almost two months, but it feels like things are getting worse not better. We have gotten down a pretty good routine, we do a lot of prepping at night after our son goes to sleep for the next day (daycare bottles, diapers, clothes, lunches etc.)My husband and I feel like we are drowning. Nothing ever really gets done, our weekdays we are just trying to hold it together, get everything ready for the next day, then our weekends are spent catching up on everything, chores, errands, and the like. We feel like we barely get quality family time with our son and are just struggling to survive, and that is just horrible to me. When I decided to go back to work, we agreed I would do so on a temporary basis in order to eliminate a few of our student loans and in a year or so I would quit to stay home or go part time, and more than likely we would try to have another child at which point, two children in daycare would make my income non-existent anyway. I am just not sure I can make it to that year point, I had a mini-breakdown this morning and sobbed on the way to drop my son off at daycare. I'm sick of feeling like the only time I see him is while I'm rushing to get us out the door in the morning and when we are putting him to bed at night. At this point I 100% believe we would do better if I was part-time or even a stay at home mom. Towards the end of maternity leave right around the 8 week mark, I got into a rhythm and we were all much happier and more sane. I did the majority of our errands during the week and tried (wasn't always successful) to keep up with the household stuff so that when DH got home would play with the baby and we could relax. I knew it would be hard, but I assumed we would find or be on our way to finding our routine by now, but it doesn't feel like we are at all. </p> <p>I feel like I am just sucking as a wife, as a mother, and as an employee, I feel like I can't give 100% of myself to anything and am constantly struggling just to get through my days. </p>