https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 03:48:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2395924 Mon, 21 Dec 2015 14:49:42 +0000 Orchid 2395924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the responses!! We definitely have to be close to him at all times now and certainly can't depend in him obeying, but I would like to begin setting the expectation now. We live on a beautiful piece of land and hope he can have the joy of exploration and freedom my husband and I had growing up! Not now of course, but later on!! </p> <p>Thanks for the stop command recommendations!! We are working on that now! Great idea to keep it simple. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383518 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 20:20:52 +0000 mrbee 2383518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We use the phrase "stop sign", since that's what our daycare taught our kids. Another good one I've heard is "freeze"! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383514 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 20:11:45 +0000 MoonMoon 2383514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We still sometimes have trouble with this concept, but what has helped us most has been a red light/ green light analogy. We've drummed the meaning of red light STOP! into his head through repetition, practice, and more repetition. Conversely, we also say green light when hrs free to do something. He's fascinated by traffic lights, always asks about them when we're driving, when he sees them in a book, etc. So when he's running away and yelling stop doesn't help, yelling red light often does. At 2.5, it's sinking in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383509 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 20:05:36 +0000 skipra 2383509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Was also going to agree with using STOP for the most important things rather than don't do this or that. But it is a tough age too. In a few months you will probably notice a big difference in understanding things like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383501 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 19:56:36 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2383501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't trust a 21 month old to heed safety warnings. @Rockies nails it.<br /> If there is a danger I'm right there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383383 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 17:15:32 +0000 catomd00 2383383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't use the word no or don't. I tell her what I want her to do and give her freedom when reasonable. I say please stay on the sidewalk or you need to hold my hand in the street. I let her run free as much as possible so she knows when I mean business. Since I don't say no or stop or raise my voice often it shoved her into stopping. I also don't rely on her to listen so in dangerous or potentially dangerous situations I stay close by. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383326 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 16:30:55 +0000 Greentea 2383326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rockies11: very well said! </p> <p>We live in the city and she always holds our hands, for instance, couldn't risk it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383321 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 16:27:17 +0000 Rockies11 2383321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think every parent has this problem, lol. If it's not the farm, it's the parking lot. I agree with pp that you can't rely on obedience to keep them safe. A 21 month old is totally impulse driven. The only thing that works at that age is close supervision, correction/redirection, repeat, repeat, repeat. There is a difference between the cognitve ability to understand a command and the ability for a kid to translate that understanding into overriding the impulse. At 21 months, they just don't have that ability. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383226 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 15:11:20 +0000 lamariniere 2383226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>City dwellers here. Street safety is of utmost importance. As my children have grown, they are given more freedom. But if they refuse to hold hands or start to run away, for example, the freedom is immediately taken away (the younger one goes back in the stroller, the older one must walk with me and hold my hand)band the are reprimanded right away. Agree with others about Stop. They must stop when I say stop or whatever privilege they are enjoying is taken away immediately. My older LO is almost 5 and he's allowed to ride his scooter on the sidewalk or run a little bit ahead. But I always tell him where he has to stop to wait for me. If he doesn't do it, I don't let him go ahead anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383189 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 14:43:53 +0000 Ms maths 2383189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is 25 months. This may not be an option for you, but I just don't rely on him following orders when it comes to safety. For example, we live on a busy city street and--when we are in the front of the house--he's just not far enough away from us that he could make it to the street without us being able to catch him. Then if he doesn't stop when we ask, we can stop him (and move to the back of the house afterwards). When he is in the backyard--where his desire to dart is very unlikely to land him in danger--we give him more freedom and work more on following the rules we have laid out for him. (And "working on it" is just our usual discipline method of an attempt at natural consequences. In this example, we go inside if he doesn't ask one of us to walk down the driveway with him.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383161 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 14:30:24 +0000 brownepiano 2383161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My ds is 21 months too, and while he doesn't usually follow commands right away, he knows if he doesn't obey he goes to his room. (he's such a social kid this is what works for us). Now instead of repeating the command many times, I say it once then ask if he is listening and obeying. That gets his attention better because even if there is no correlated consequence for what he is currently doing, he knows the consequence for not obeying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383157 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 14:28:11 +0000 regberadaisy 2383157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with "stop". That is the most important one imo. They need to know to listen to that for so many reasons. They're getting too close to a strange anima, the pond, the street, etc etc.</p> <p>Repition, repitition, repitition and consequences for not listening. If we're out and she does not listen to that it's an immediate lost of privileges. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383152 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 14:25:16 +0000 Mamaof2 2383152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you need to teach them the STOP command. That would be useful in every situation you posted.</p> <p>How to do that? Repetition - they will eventually get it but it will take time </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383151 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 14:24:21 +0000 Greentea 2383151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What works for us is a combo of explaining (you have to listen to mom and and outside because there is lots of danger and we have to keep you safe), giving warnings (do not put the leaf in your mouth, I can't let you do something unsafe, that could make you sick, if you put another leaf in your mouth you are going to have to take a timeout), and then finally the timeout if necessary after the other things! Good luck!</p> <p>Oh, and with extreme danger, an abrupt shout will kind of shock her out of the activity, but obviously I reserve that for extreme danger. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-obedience-is-important-for-safety#post-2383130 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 14:17:46 +0000 Orchid 2383130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live on 20 acres and we recognize that there is potential for danger in a few places. We want to work on obedience with our toddler from now because he does not usually respond to our commands well. Commands like, do not put that leaf in your mouth, do not pull the cat's tail, do not climb into the tractor, come to mama right now ... Are typically ignored. I know he understands the command; he is 21 months.</p> <p>How do you train a toddler to be obedient instantly? What has worked for you? </p>