https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 23:04:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2614093 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 13:13:41 +0000 Pumuckl 2614093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2614091 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 13:12:34 +0000 MrsBrewer 2614091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Train: I would have loved to see her response!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2614072 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 12:57:28 +0000 Trailmix 2614072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get the gamut of questions often ('natural', 'run in family', 'surprise', etc) but it never bothers me. I'm happy to take a moment to talk about IF and make it more normal, plus the story of how we got our twins is our story, so I share it! Really has never once bothered me to be asked anything about my twins! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2614056 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 12:47:55 +0000 FancyGem 2614056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only talk about it with friends who tell me about it. My close friends are very open about how they conceived their multiples. I don't ask strangers about it because I don't think it is polite.<br /> I'm not surprised that you are being asked because people seem to think that other people's fertility is their business. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2613955 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 11:08:20 +0000 BSB 2613955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pumuckl: Congrats on your twin pregnancy! Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611875 Sat, 27 Aug 2016 10:08:01 +0000 Pumuckl 2611875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunshineandsushi: this is how I respond these days. </p> <p>I am only 15w into my twin pregnancy and I have no idea how many times I have been asked weird questions. So I just say that no twins don't run in our family and that we got a buy one get one free deal. And that they are just spontaneous twins. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611450 Fri, 26 Aug 2016 08:47:56 +0000 psw27 2611450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Train: hahahah I love your response. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611430 Fri, 26 Aug 2016 08:33:19 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2611430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm interesting... I've been asked whether twins run in my family and I don't even have twins (but my mom is a twin..and I don't think people are asking is she's the result of IVF.) I guess I won't ask that! Some of these stories are crazy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611342 Fri, 26 Aug 2016 05:52:19 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2611342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Train: yes! yes! :silly: Your response reminds me of all the times someone would ask, "have you been trying for awhile?" and all I wanted to say back, "are you asking if my husband and I screw a lot?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611312 Fri, 26 Aug 2016 01:26:32 +0000 BSB 2611312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: I think there is a difficult balance of being open with sharing with strangers your story and keeping some things private. Like I said to dessertdream, I don't think everyone who had IF has to tell everyone about their journey. I'm definitely someone who was outspoken about infertility awareness both on here and within my circle of social media and IRL friends. </p> <p>I'm certainly not comfortable going to a Catholic forum to fight or argue with hard core Catholics that don't believe in birth control and IVF. I think everyone has their own comfort level. If I was more assertive, maybe I wouldn't mind those arguments. There's probably someone out there who will be my voice in those situations where I'm weak. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611300 Fri, 26 Aug 2016 00:19:48 +0000 BSB 2611300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Train: haha. It might not have been your finest moment but I would do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611298 Fri, 26 Aug 2016 00:17:44 +0000 BSB 2611298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrswin: OMG! Wow! My jaw will be on the floor for a few weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611297 Fri, 26 Aug 2016 00:15:13 +0000 BSB 2611297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I think there is a time and a place to tell my IF story. I'm not comfortable shouting out from the roof tops my story. Also, some people (Catholics ... I'm Catholic BTW) don't agree with birth control and IVF. If I don't feel like opening up to an old lady about my IVF, I don't feel like I'm doing a disservice to those of us with IF by not feeling like sharing that day. I'm fully open to my friends. Strangers- maybe. Depends on the day and how talkative I feel like. Most likely I'm busy and don't have time to chit chat. I love having twins but they attract a lot of attention. I always get comments about having twins. So yeah, I don't think everyone needs to be open about their struggle. We all know how annoying it is to hear we need to relax, get drunk or not think about TTC. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611284 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 23:52:31 +0000 DesertDreams88 2611284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both my husband and I have fertility issues &amp; loss and thus I am very interested in the TTC process, in all shapes and forms - NTNP, surprise babies, TTC, IUI, IVF, donor sperm and eggs, etc. So, honestly, whenever I meets moms of multiples, I am very curious and in a sense wondering that maybe this is was the blessed outcome of the hard road of IF. I don't think I've ever asked anyone directly, because I already knew the back stories of the moms of multiples in my life. I also have the same interest when people have babies really spaced out, or later in life, etc. but I don't ask.</p> <p>Also, I'm an over-sharer, so I have a hard time understanding why people are private about this stuff. I personally have been very open about our (relatively short) journey, that's just how I roll. I think conversations are a way to normalize and remove the "shame" of IF and loss. There is sadness, but shouldn't be shame. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611228 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 20:36:19 +0000 meganmp 2611228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually get, "Were you surprised?" and then I'll explain that they were IVF babies. If I get the natural question, I'll say, "Did you mean were they IVF? They were." People are curious, and I'm ok with normalizing IVF. They are not malicious, and while it is insensitive, it is usually innocent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611226 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 20:33:21 +0000 sunshineandsushi 2611226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been asked many times if I had my twins "naturally" and also if twins run in my family. I usually launch into an explanation about how identical twins is random. But, on occasion I have responded that they were BOGO. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611208 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 20:06:45 +0000 mrswin 2611208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Train: I'm sorry but your response to the lady at the park just made my night! :grin: </p> <p>When I was sharing with a co-worker that my DD was the result of a long journey, her response was "oh so it wasn't natural?.... :shocked: I was so surprised by her comment that I just mumbled something and walked away </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611200 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 19:58:59 +0000 Mrs. Train 2611200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been asked a lot if they are natural. It is an odd way of asking because it kind of implies the opposite of that would be unnatural. In general I try to be polite to people because they just aren't aware of what could be a bit insensitive. I usually just say yes they are natural. Sometimes people will go on to ask if twins run in the family and I say nope, no twins, we are just the lucky ones. </p> <p>On lady got me on an off day. We had gone to the park because the boys were being particularly rough and needed to get outside and I am afraid I was a bit rude. She asked if all three boys were mine. I said yes. She had that crazy look on her face where people are trying to figure out how I could possibly have three so young then She said oh are the twins natural. I said I just met you and you want to know if my husband put his own sperm in my vagina or if a doctor did it. I think that's a topic for a second or third play date not a random park meeting. Not my finest moment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611198 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 19:47:55 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 2611198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have twins but twins DO run in my family, so I'm sure I've asked that question over the years (until recently when I learned that it could offend people). I'll just say that in my situations j try to give people the benefit of the doubt.</p> <p>Asking if they are "natural," though... no. WTF. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2611145 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 18:13:09 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2611145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't believe people say 'natural'! However, I never associated asking if twins run in the family to mean IVF. I remember when that was a fairly common response and it was out of innocent curiosity. This was before IVF was common (I'm no spring chicken). I can see how the meaning has changed over the years. I'm grateful to know that it can be offensive and stay clear of it entirely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2610877 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 14:32:01 +0000 Caly 2610877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: hahaha, love it! We often make the joke to each other that they're "the best money can buy." :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2610802 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 13:31:13 +0000 Mrsbells 2610802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: I didnt realize people ask that question, I would find that a bit rude and intrusive </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2610751 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 12:49:01 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2610751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't even have twins and I still get asked if my twins are natural.<br /> People are dumb. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2610745 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 12:44:46 +0000 psw27 2610745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ugh. Weird questions from people about pregnancy/children irk me. I don't have twins and haven't done IVF and I also don't ask this - I leave it up to the mama to speak about her experiences if she wants to/it comes up in a normal conversation not some intrusive weirdness that basically asks about conception. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2610721 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 12:23:45 +0000 MissKabers 2610721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2610706 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 12:11:57 +0000 Littlebit7 2610706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: I don't know, I don't consider them the same questions. I think twins or multiples fascinate people. They fascinate me; I find them really interesting. And the idea that in some cases, they do run in the family is as equally as fascinating. My sister in law is a twin and my brother in law is a twin (both are the spouses of my husbands siblings and unrelated). Twins run deep in their family. I also have another cousin who had twins via IVF and twins also run in her family. I'd never ask a mom I just met "Hey those kids look like twins, how were they conceived? Naturally?" yuck. awful question. But "Hey those cuties look like twins! How amazing! Are there any other twins in your family?"<br /> Thats pretty harmless IMO, and mom or dad could respond yes or no. And hey, if you wanted to ignore me or give me a bratty comment, I'd feel bad and move on. Or if you wanted to tell me your IVF journey, I'd listen, genuinely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2610691 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 12:01:49 +0000 Mrs. Blue 2610691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I'm feeling generous, I just smile and say yes. If I'm not, I smile and say, "No, they're plastic."</p> <p>Thankfully, I don't get all the twin questions nearly as much now that they are older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2610687 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 11:59:52 +0000 erinbaderin 2610687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Caly: I LOVE "we bought them"! That's hilarious. The other day my husband looked fondly at our son sleeping and said "Remember when this guy was just $12,000 cash"? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2610661 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 11:41:56 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2610661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do twins run in your family? Is code for Are they natural? Which is code for Did you use IVF to become a parent? </p> <p>Yes, people are curious, but seriously just comment on how cute the babies are and move on. I'm always surprised how a compliment unleashes way more info than I ever wanted to know about someone's struggle or triumphs in becoming a parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-people-ask-if-your-twins-or-multiples-are-natural#post-2610645 Thu, 25 Aug 2016 11:33:56 +0000 MamaG 2610645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is a hard topic. I read so much around here about how many people don't want to be shunned for their infertility or losses and how they wish they could more comfortably talk about these situations. But then there are clearly people who still feel like these are taboo topics unless the person experiencing these things brings it up. I get that as humans we maybe don't always use the right words but hopefully we are working toward pure compassion and comfort intentions and not just being a punk. </p>