https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 27 Jun 2026 00:10:16 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1197143 Tue, 05 Nov 2013 12:28:19 +0000 Mae 1197143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Life happens! We weren't planning to TTC until late 2014/early 2015 because that would put the baby born after my husband was done with his MBA (and hopefully either in a new job or gotten the promotion he went to MBA school to get), and my job would look different, and my parents would be local at that point to help with child care so we wouldn't need daycare. I thought I'd pop two out one after the other to get the newborn/diapers stage over with and be done. </p> <p>But then I got pregnant now. Which means my husband is still in school, and we're not making as much as I'd thought we'd be making when we had a kid, and we have to pay for daycare because my parents haven't moved here yet. All of this is going to put us way behind where we thought we'd be financially and I don't know that we can afford to have another kid right away. Honestly it might be a while. But who cares? Now that it has happened I think maybe this was the better timing all along. And honestly it doesn't matter because it is what it is and we're going to roll with it! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1197126 Tue, 05 Nov 2013 12:22:59 +0000 cascademom 1197126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought that I wanted two close in age. It's looking like it's going to be more like 2-3 years in between kids. We still need to move to the burbs. I don't like my new coworker, but need to stay in order to have maternity leave in the future. So that's a bit of a rock and a hard place. I'm working on getting a certification and enjoying my marriage and LO. </p> <p>Also, I'm losing weight which if I did it sooner, we probably would be trying sooner. I like that I'm losing weight, so getting pregnant and gaining weight isn't too appealing right now at least until I get down to close to my goal weight.</p> <p>I was so sure about getting pregnant again 6 months ago. Now, I'd rather wait a bit at least until my weight goes down enough that pregnancy doesn't put me in the 200's again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1197092 Tue, 05 Nov 2013 12:07:02 +0000 Cherrybee 1197092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: I've been thinking about this thread today (only two weeks late!!), after reading Jojogirl's post about considering a second child after a difficult first. </p> <p>Yes, something has happened to change our plans. We got married in March 2012 and planned to start TTC in Spring 2013. We then intended to have our children close in age, probably TTC when #1 was a year old. It hasn't worked out that way for us. DH had to start a medication for his arthritis that causes birth defects. We brought our TTC plans forward so that we could conceive before he started the medication and had E in Summer 2013. He has to be off the medication for 6 months before we TTC again - and it's not working. They keep raising the dose (he now has to inject it!) and, if the latest increase doesn't work, they will combine it with another drug and see if that helps. Recovery is therefore a lot slower than we had anticipated - we really don't know how long he is going to need to be on it for. In order to have our children 18 months to 2 years apart (the original plan), he would need to be cming off the medication at the end of January 2014. That's not going to happen!</p> <p>How do I feel about it? Well, I hadn't really thought about it until today and, now I'm thinking about it, it does make me feel a little strange. I like things to be in my control - and when something's not within my control, it stresses me out. But in some ways, it's nice to give it up and to say what will be will be. If he has to be on it long term, we may be one and done - now that thought makes me sad. We will see. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170835 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:34:08 +0000 MrsBrewer 1170835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: *hugs!!* Trust in God!! He has a plan for us! We're not supposed to know what's going to happen :-) I'm a type A personality so I struggle with this on a daily basis, so I totally get where you are coming from with the unknowns! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170821 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:30:00 +0000 Dandelion 1170821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: Me too...but I remarried at 30, lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170820 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:30:00 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1170820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: A little off topic, but I have a friend who wanted 4 or 5 children and had to stop at 2 and she was pretty upset about it as well. It's tough knowing that you want more and to have a large family, but the two you have could be it. After my last MC, I'm starting to face the reality that S might be it for us if I have another MC. Just wanted to say hang in there and send some love :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170813 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:28:03 +0000 runsyellowlites 1170813@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Thank you! What you said what just exactly what I needed to hear &amp; you're right... whatever our family ends up looking like we're going to embrace &amp; be happy!</p> <p>@Dandelion: Oh yea, I wanted to be "done" by 30...... well be single for 5 years and don't get remarried until 26 and that all went done the drain! lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170797 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:25:22 +0000 mrsmate 1170797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Periwinkle: I totally get you on the "picture perfect" thing. People tell us how we got our timing perfect w/LO2 coming 3yrs after LO1. But they had no idea of our IF issues and how much we wanted to have them closer! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170795 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:25:03 +0000 Dandelion 1170795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep...when I separated from my ex, all plans went down the tubes. I wanted two close in age, but obviously didn't get that.</p> <p>Losing S also changed our plans to the idea of two babies with DH, but I want to be done being pregnant after this one. We'll adopt, if we can, but I don't want to go through this again. </p> <p>But, I'm ok with the way things are turning out. Can't change it, so we might as well learn to adapt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170779 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:21:20 +0000 looch 1170779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: I think it's totally normal to have an unsettled feeling! I know several families that have children with special needs, one of them the oldest had special needs. In my own family, my youngest brother had special needs. </p> <p>I also thought that I would meet my husband during my college freshman orientation. I would bring him home on Thanksgiving, and then we would date all 4 years. When we graduated, we would get engaged and move to the same city. We would be married two years later and our first son would be born when we were 25. We would own our center hall colonial home on 1 acre of land by the time we were 30 and have had 4 children in total.</p> <p>Well, my life didn't turn out that way and in all honesty, I am glad I am on the road I am on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170748 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:14:09 +0000 winniebee 1170748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought we'd have our kids very close in age but then I was on bed rest with T so we are waiting a little longer - they'll be no closer than 2.5 years apart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170737 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:11:50 +0000 Periwinkle 1170737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know that I used to put a lot of pressure on myself (and most likely my husband too!) to create this perfect picture in my head of what our family would like like in x number of years. </p> <p>Just like @looch, I have come to the conclusion that this picture just puts undue stress on us. What I have learned (OK, still tryingto learn) is that there will be a time and a place for everything, and when I get stuck on what I think things should look like, I am invetiably disappointed.</p> <p>I am trying my hardest to let go of these"original" ideas and allow myself to go with the natural flow of things. It's not easy, and I find myself becoming increasingly jealous of others whose plans seem to be "picture perfect," but I try to let it go and do what's best for my family, in whatever stage of life we're currently in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170732 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:10:41 +0000 runsyellowlites 1170732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsmate: Not exactly, but I know it certainly causes similar thoughts/strains! I think 3 years is still a good spacing. ;)</p> <p>@looch: Yea.. I know, and keep reminding myself of that. It's weird that I "know" that really everyday holds the unknown &amp; we really have no idea how things will be tomorrow, next week/month/year, and even later today could hold news that changes our whole lives but there's just something about the comfortable idea of "knowing" what will happen, how life will go one, etc. You know? The reality of the unknown is just alot more in my face now it seems &amp; I wonder if that's gone on or is happening for any other ladies atm too..</p> <p>Who knows, maybe P is it for us and we won't try for another deeming we find out news that makes that the best decision. Going from wanting a large family with 4-5 kids to maybe stopping at 2 (in the trying, not including fertility factors that could come up) is kinda unsettling. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170704 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:04:22 +0000 looch 1170704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you want my honest opinion on the subject of child spacing? </p> <p>I don't think it's something you can really control. It is lovely to think your life is going to go a certain way but in reality, it couldn't be more far from the truth for the majority of people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170696 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:01:57 +0000 mrsmate 1170696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but I wanted to have 2 under 2. My sister and I are 17mo apart and very close. But bc of secondary infertility, LOs will be just about 3yrs apart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-things-cause-child-spacing-to-change#post-1170623 Thu, 24 Oct 2013 08:46:05 +0000 runsyellowlites 1170623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Anyone else have outside family/child/work circumstance change your original plans for child spacing?</p> <p>DH and I talked last night and decided it would be a long while before we talked about ttc again. Obviously our first plan was having P &amp; #3 two years apart (ended in mc), and then we thought this coming April we'd start trying again, but now it's kind of this indefinite unknown. </p> <p>We want to get everything figured out with P and then probably get some testing done on the two of us to see if our future kids could be more likely to "issues" too before going down that road again. Thankfully I haven't had any baby fever to make me feel like I wanna add to the family right now, but it still feels weird how different our future plans look now...</p> <p>Anyone have drastic changes due to circumstance? </p>