https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 19:50:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2257431 Thu, 06 Aug 2015 22:04:10 +0000 Mrs. Peanut 2257431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms. RV: So what did you decide? :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251876 Sat, 01 Aug 2015 11:44:48 +0000 Ms. RV 2251876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: Luckily, HR has to approve my disability- they have a nurse that does that. Work pays me and the disability company pays them. It's pretty backwards but it works to my advantage! How long I take pre labor has no impact post labor leave, just concerned if something happens down the road I might be out of leave.</p> <p>@BabyBoecksMom: You made me think of something. I don't know if I'll be allowed to work past 40 weeks. I have an office job, but I work near lots of machinery and fork trucks and stuff like that. I might be too much of a liability to work (when I sprained my shoulder before, I was only allowed at my desk and in the cafeteria). I have to check to see if I am allowed/need doctor's note to work past my due date.</p> <p>@paigeface: I thought the swollen feet or lack of air conditioning would drive me nuts while pregnant... those are nothing (usually :silly: ) compared to this coworked! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251848 Sat, 01 Aug 2015 10:51:01 +0000 paigeface 2251848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I so feel for you mama! I've had issues with my coworkers this week. It was terrible and I left for lunch crying in my car. I wouldn't wait til 41 weeks but hang in there!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251800 Sat, 01 Aug 2015 09:03:26 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 2251800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you talk to your HR? My HR dept told me (two different jobs with each kid) FMLA was scheduled to start on my due date but it was adjusted to start when I actually had the baby (late for #1 and early for #2). Since your HR dept is the one that contacts the STD company, they should have better details </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251783 Sat, 01 Aug 2015 08:38:36 +0000 regberadaisy 2251783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms. RV: but when would the carrier start counting your leave? If you apply for std before you go into labor that's prob when the insurance carrier will start counting the 6 or 8 weeks? Definitely something to double check directly with your insurance provider and not hr before taking leaving. That's if financially that's a concern for you. If it's not and either way you'll take your full 12 weeks then go for it.<br /> But like others I'd personally rather work right up till delivery and save the time with baby. I know getting up and going to work sucks right now. But in all likelyhood it will suck more to go back to work after baby arrives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251729 Sat, 01 Aug 2015 07:01:27 +0000 Anya 2251729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh I feel your pain, I was SO OVER my job at the end of oregnancy. It took so much energy not to lose my shit with certain coworkers every day. I ended up sticking it out until my due date and then some- I went to 41 weeks so I worked my last full day at 40+6, and stared my mat leave the day she ended up being born. I'm glad I did it from a maternity leave standpoint, even though it was so tempting to get out of there early. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251728 Sat, 01 Aug 2015 06:45:04 +0000 lady grey 2251728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Because you're the breadwinner I would work up until labor, but I would take *lots* of breaks and do the least amount of work possible to preserve your sanity.</p> <p>Also I'm sure it seems crappy right now, but honestly you prob won't even remember this time at work once you are holding your LO :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251724 Sat, 01 Aug 2015 06:33:17 +0000 buttermilk 2251724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm having a similar though much less complicated dilemma. I'm taking 12 Wks and just don't know when to start it. 39 weeks on Tuesday. Every Monday is super hard bc it's a new week, but I feel better as the week progresses. Im still just playing it by ear and deciding as I go along with the intention of holding out as long as I can so I save as much time for baby snuggles. It's so hard though! I agree with one of the PPs about taking as many breaks as you can. Just slow down! Nobody has questioned me so far and they can all see that I'm trying as hard as I possibly can! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251716 Sat, 01 Aug 2015 06:17:56 +0000 autumnleaves 2251716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I stayed at work till I went into labor which was right up to my due date. Some co-workers decided to start leave after 40 weeks because they were so uncomfortable with swelling and other problems so I would wait and see how you do each day and week but if possible save the leave for once you go into labor.<br /> I only took 8 weeks off since I am the breadwinner. My boss had been really supportive too letting me change jobs while I was pregnant so going back to work before 12 weeks was due to the money issue and me wanting to show my employer my commitment and appreciation. Going back at 8 weeks was doable for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251706 Sat, 01 Aug 2015 05:26:30 +0000 Ms. RV 2251706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: Yes, I would get paid for leave pre-labor. It is my OB's policy to agree to "being too pregnant to work" starting at 38 weeks and fill out short term paperwork then (it is in their handbook). My HR rep knows this and says there is nothing wrong with when I go so long as my OB does the paperwork. Actually HR said they couldn't believe I was still working! The short term is from a private carrier hired by the company I work for, not through the state. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251701 Sat, 01 Aug 2015 03:57:52 +0000 regberadaisy 2251701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would you stil get paid if you took off before labor? I don't see how an OB will write you a note that it's "medically" necessary to start your leave early if there isn't a true medical reason?</p> <p>Are you using std from the state or a completely different policy that your employer pays for? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251669 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 23:31:31 +0000 birdofafeather 2251669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As annoying as the coworker is, I would compromise and tough it out until labor or 40.5 weeks. You're at the finish line and I think that breathing room would make you feel better. Also, no one should be working at 41 weeks if they don't have to! Enjoy your weekend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251666 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 23:20:24 +0000 BSB 2251666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms. RV: hehe! Deal! Sending you all the labor dust I got! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251665 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 23:19:52 +0000 getjazzy 2251665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh. In that case I would try to tough it out. Maybe compromise and go off a few days early if you haven't delivered by 40-41 weeks? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251662 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 23:12:50 +0000 Ms. RV 2251662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@getjazzy: The year starts on my first day of leave.. so if I started on Monday I'd have the same 12 weeks until August 3, 2016.</p> <p>They can't be used for, say, an ear infection... but if LO were seriously ill, I would use those days to be with her. Minor illnesses are vacation days or begging my boss to let me make up the time by working over the next week. Or dropping LO with the grandparents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251656 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 23:03:29 +0000 getjazzy 2251656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ahhh I see. Is it by calendar year? Haha sorry, really trying to get a clear picture of what I might do in your situation. </p> <p>Would these days potentially be used for taking time off to care for a sick child too? Or can it not be used for that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251655 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:57:14 +0000 Ms. RV 2251655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@getjazzy: My job is guaranteed through 12 weeks of leave in a 365 day period. Pre-labor and post partum both come from the same 12 weeks. So if I deliver at 42 weeks and started leave at 39 and had an uncomplicated vaginal it would be 9 of the 12 weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251652 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:53:35 +0000 Ms. RV 2251652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Peanut: I think I just woke OH from laughing at that meme. Oops... haha... I needed that :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251651 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:52:38 +0000 getjazzy 2251651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms. RV: So you would only be using 2 or so weeks of 12 leaving you with 10 for a safety net? Or your get a total of 12 including the 6-8 after baby? Are they 2 different banks of time? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251650 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:52:11 +0000 Ms. RV 2251650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: I know you're currently in the hospital with pprom. I'll gladly divert any labor dust from you in hopes your babies stay in there and get bigger and healthier! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251647 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:48:54 +0000 Ms. RV 2251647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@getjazzy: Yes, it would only be risky if I got sick later or had a major complication. There is no separate maternity leave policy where I work because the company is very old school and male dominated. It kind of is nice because I know a lot of people in the states get a set amount of leave even if they start before labor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251646 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:47:01 +0000 Mrs. Peanut 2251646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms. RV: That changes everything! Even if you go another 3 weeks before LO arrives (42 weeks), and you get a c/ s which has 8 weeks off, that's 11 weeks total, right? I think you have been more than accommodating; I just didn't want you to miss out on extra time with LO. In that case I would be like this :happy: </p> [attach=5374/15/nsdx6d.397x273.image.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251643 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:41:51 +0000 BSB 2251643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Breadwinner here, too. It can be so hard sometimes to make decisions like this. Sending hugs. I'm not sure what I would do in your situation. I've been there where I've been frustrated with a coworker. I'm sending you lots of labor dust so you can have your baby soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251642 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:41:48 +0000 getjazzy 2251642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So going off now wouldn't change how long you have after with LO but it might impact you later if you have complications or illness once you return to work? I'm Canadian so I don't understand how your system works. If it doesn't shorten time with baby, I would be off in the blink of an eye to get some r &amp; r before baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251639 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:34:05 +0000 Ms. RV 2251639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Thank you for the sympathy! Honestly, I hadn't even considered taking more breaks. I currently work 7-4:30 with only 10 minutes for lunch. I work in a huge factory and no one would notice if I took a break every hour or hour and a half and just did a lap around the building to clear my head. Most of my longterm projects are handed off, but 75% of my job is projects that only last a day or two so I can't hand those off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251637 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:26:00 +0000 Ms. RV 2251637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Peanut: Oh, I should have specified... I get six or eight weeks (vaginal or c/s) after LO is born regardless of how much time I take beforehand. I only get more (paid) if it is deemed medically necessary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251634 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:22:35 +0000 SweetiePie 2251634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just want to say that this situation sounds like it's pretty frustrating. I didn't have a specific coworker but I did have some annoyances at work. For sure the hormones make it worse! I found it helped to take a LOT of breaks. And usually no one questions the 39-weeks pregnant lady :-) I took my time in the cafeteria getting breakfast and ate it at my desk while I checked email in the AM. Then I took a mid morning break where I'd walk to get a smoothie or coffee. Lunch, of course. I started making it a priority to get outside the office for lunch. Another afternoon break for a snack. Then left as early as I could without getting nasty looks! Like 5pm.<br /> I did this the last month or so before my leave because I was so over it! And no one batted an eye. I think the women mostly get it and the men are too afraid to question it ;-)<br /> It also helped a lot to plan for my departure. It felt good to know things were in order AND it was a nice reminder that the end was near. I loved handing things off to other folks. And don't be afraid to say "no" if you're given a new project or something that seems like it's not feasible or would be too much stress. People should understand (though I guess I'm not sure what you do or what your office culture is).<br /> Also, I had a calendar of Hawaii that I loved to stare at. I'd "X" off the days and it was so nice having my own little count down.<br /> I would probably do all of the above and plan on going to 41 weeks if I had to, but fingers crossed you have this baby right up on that due date :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251630 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:16:17 +0000 Mrs. Peanut 2251630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally I would wait it out as long as you could. More snuggle time with LO! :heart: I understand awful co-workers, but you'll be on leave before you know it. I would just be cheerfully preparing work to give to her when you're gone (assuming she takes care of it in your absence like you do during hers!).</p> <p>ETA: Sprinkles of labor dust coming your way too! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-start-maternity-leave-coworker-driving-me-nuts#post-2251625 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 22:10:26 +0000 Ms. RV 2251625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm conflicted over when to start maternity leave. I'll be 39 weeks on Monday, and my OB's policy is write up short term disability starting at 38 weeks, but I decided (with their okay) to wait until my due date to start short term. Now I'm wavering on my decision to wait until 40 weeks and need some opinions on when to actually start (40 weeks, start of labor, or something in between!):</p> <p>- I'm paid 100% for anything my doc considers short term disability up to 12 weeks. After 12 weeks, my job is no longer guaranteed (standard FMLA). There's generally a 30 day grace period, though, after the 12 weeks.<br /> - OB will let me go until 42 weeks without induction or c-section. If I go two weeks late but started disability at 40 weeks and also have a complication, I might eat through the 12 weeks I'm allotted per year at once. If I were to have to go on short term for something else within a year, my job might be in jeopardy. I'm the breadwinner, plus OH's job doesn't provide health insurance, so quitting/losing my job aren't options.<br /> - I'm totally over work emotionally due to a coworker. She has attendance issues that our boss knows about it, but due to a weird reporting structure, he is unable to reprimand her for attendance, and the person who can, won't (they are close friends outside of work). I'm the person who gets to pick up most of the work she doesn't. I'm resenting being there doing her work when I could technically be at home relaxing before LO comes.<br /> - I was recently promoted six months earlier than I was told that I would be because my boss fought for it. I really don't want to screw him over by being gone too long.</p> <p>Should I still plan to go at 40 weeks? Emotionally draining coworkers plus pregnancy hormones sometimes equals hiding in the restroom stall and crying a little. Physically I'm fine and if it weren't for this coworker, I'd work until I started a labor. That's still an option-- I just need some opinions on how to balance my sanity plus my allowed leave!!</p> <p>Oh-- wishes for labor naturally starting the day before my due date are also welcome so that this would be a non-issue :grin: </p>