Hellobee Boards Topic: When to tell work you're pregnant?

Hellobee Boards Topic: When to tell work you're pregnant? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 16:37:52 +0000 Mrs. High Heels on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-429166 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 11:55:26 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 429166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Lovejoy: His mentality (about wanting to help people network once he knows they're looking), shows that he is thinking about the big picture! It says a lot about him and his character that he is willing to do that for people, rather than hold a grudge of some sort just because they want to leave. Not all bosses are like that, but seems like you've got a great one! brownie on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-429152 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 11:49:20 +0000 brownie 429152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ After facing discrimination from getting pregnant my answer is tell as late as possible. You may reject an offer because you feel you can't handle it, but you can't prove why they didn't choose you. If you tell them, they can change their plans and if you feel you could do it you no longer have the choice. I switched positions at 5 months along and didn't tell anyone until a month before going out. Lozza on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-429148 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 11:45:48 +0000 Lozza 429148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Lovejoy: I think in general my office's take on pregnancy is "We like having employees stay here for a long time, so babies are going to happen and that's great and we're excited, and we'd much rather know as soon as possible so we can make everything- both work-related, and personal- go as smoothly as possible." I think they appreciated knowing right away so that there was plenty of time to arrange someone else's schedule to cover for me while I'd be gone, and to make sure I didn't get bid on any contracts with intensive periods around my due date and immediately afterwards, etc. My boss was also really helpful in helping me navigate benefits and leave and other policies. Mrs. Lovejoy on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-429141 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 11:42:05 +0000 Mrs. Lovejoy 429141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Lozza: That's great to hear. I actually have my first appointment this week that will be right in the middle of the work day ( I couldn't schedule a better time ) and I sort of wish he knew so that I could be upfront about why I'll be out of the office. Mrs. Lovejoy on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-429138 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 11:40:32 +0000 Mrs. Lovejoy 429138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. High Heels: This is so helpful and you were definitely in a similar position as me. Congrats about being put in for the promotion by the way!! While I'm not super close with my boss, we do have a good relationship and I think he'll respect me more for telling him and being upfront. He's actually made a comment before that he greatly respects people when they share that they are looking for other jobs, so that he can help them either feel more content here or network to find their next path. While that's a little different, it reminded me that he feels respected when kept in the loop. Lozza on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-429137 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 11:40:15 +0000 Lozza 429137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My boss was also a great advocate for me during pregnancy- she had her second child just three months before I had my first, and she was really great about being flexible when I needed to work from home or work weird hours, and helping me to prep for maternity leave and to return from leave. I'm definitely glad I told her early- she helped me to rearrange some of my tasks, but it was definitely all for my benefit. Mrs. High Heels on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-429072 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 11:13:11 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 429072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This sounds almost identical to the dilemma I faced. I'm also a project manager, and was told by my boss that a promotion was in my near future because I kept receiving praise from various people regarding the way I was managing a project. However, my company policy is that you can't get to the next grade level unless you've been at your current position for one year. My one year was slated to be up in August (I found out I was pregant in June so August would've been end of my first trimester). I was hoping to at least "hide" the pregnancy until then. Well, my one year anniversary date hit and at that time I was 15 weeks along, but still no promotion. Like you, I wasn't sure what to do. I talked to my coworker about it, and he suggested I just tell my boss because we have a good relationship. She's always been my advocate, and I didn't feel right keeping this from her. Also, I thought it would look WORSE if a promotion happened, and then I told them about my pregnancy immediately afterwards. I wanted to maintain a good, long-term relationship with my boss... and I guess risking the promotion was worth that for me. Anyway, I ended up telling her about the pregnancy when I was 16 weeks along even though I still hadn't gotten the promotion. She was very supportive. In the coming weeks, she kept saying the promotion was still in the works, but I was getting antsy since I was getting further and further along, and a part of me doubted that it would even happen. One time I even brought up to her, "I hope me being pregnant doesn't change anything" and she reassured me over and over that that is not even a factor. I work for a large company so sometimes it takes awhile for things to happen because we've had some budget restrictions this year. Anyway, I'm ONE MONTH away from my maternity leave and just last week (when I had nearly given up hope that this promotion was even going to happen this year), she emails me saying that she put me in for the promotion. Hopefully you have the same type of relationship I have with my boss, where I felt like she was my advocate and support. I really just had to trust that she would do the best/right thing for me. I kept going back and forth about whether or not I made the right decision, but I think in the long run... it looks much better to be open and upfront. For me, I really had to weigh the pros and cons... and because I see a long future with this company and not as just a stepping stone elsewhere, I didn't want to risk losing the trust and respect of my boss by keeping something like this from her. Revel on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-429005 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 10:36:00 +0000 Revel 429005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Oh, I feel for you! I was going through a somewhat similar back and forth in my mind - we have our reviews in mid to late December - around when I would be about 16-17 weeks. We get raises and bonuses at those reviews - but can negotiate somewhat. While I probably could have gotten away with waiting until then - I will be gone pretty much right after for almost 2 weeks, and was concerned about coming back from time off looking totally pregnant! I ended up telling them at 13 and a half weeks. I opted to tell them far enough away from my review that I hoped the news wouldn't color it too much. Time will tell if that worked or not. I would follow what @blackbird: said and ask for an update - set a time for yourself that you will wait, and then break the news at that time whether you've gotten the update or not. FWIW, I got the impression my work thought I told them early even at 13 weeks, so if you wait until 16 or 17 weeks, assuming it's not totally obvious, I don't think it will seem like you "hid" the information for an extraordinarily long time. You can always fudge a little and say you were waiting for test results if anyone were to raise it with you, though I doubt that would happen. Mrs. Lovejoy on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-428903 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 09:47:27 +0000 Mrs. Lovejoy 428903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @winniebee: I'm not really showing yet, though it seems to be coming on fast. Plus I tend to wear more flowy shirts and a good amount of black and feel that covers it up more than other options. Thank you for your encouragement! I've just recently realized that I'm getting a tad too far along to keep it in the bag much longer.. winniebee on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-428883 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 09:34:37 +0000 winniebee 428883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Are you showing yet? That would really be the only thing driving me to dish at this very moment. I was visibly pregnant by like 15 weeks (a few strangers guessed) so it would have been hard for me to keep it a secret longer than that. And when people suspect/guess it's a little awkward. I know pregnancy is not supposed to affect promotions/compensation, but in the real world of sports, happens. So I might try to wait to find out about the raise first. Don't feel guilty - all of your good work has already happened so you deserve it! I was sooooo anxious to tell my work because I was just about to start a 2 week jury trial, a few other attorneys had recent left, one was leaving on maternity leave, etc. But they were fabulous about it. Mrs. Lovejoy on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-428875 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 09:22:53 +0000 Mrs. Lovejoy 428875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @blackbird: Oh yes, I forgot to mention that I am definitely planning to come back. Good point to stress that! Yes, that's also my hesitation - once people know, they never don't know again! blackbird on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-428873 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 09:20:11 +0000 blackbird 428873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Since he has 7 kids himself, he may be really understanding about why you waited so long to tell! I *did* stress that I was 100% going to return to work. My boss was so cool about it and I'm sure yours will be, too :) I only really told my boss and then everyone else just kind of figured it out eventually. It felt like a weird thing to "announce" in my office environment. And news spreads fast--you mention it to a few people and then everyone knows. Takes away the awkwardness of telling everyone something so private. Mrs. Lovejoy on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-428871 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 09:16:47 +0000 Mrs. Lovejoy 428871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @blackbird: @Silva: Thank you! I do have a good relationship with him and I'm sure he'll be excited (he has like 7 kids himself). I just need to keep telling myself that :). I think I'll send him a note this week and ask again about the comp and if I don't hear soon I'll likely just tell him. Silva on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-428867 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 09:14:26 +0000 Silva 428867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Lovejoy: I felt similarly- once we told close friends & family, I kind of felt weird sharing the news. But it sounds like you have a good relationship with your boss, and I'm sure he will be really excited for you. I think maybe it feels like less of a shock to them than it does to us- a lot of women in their childbearing years have babies and need maternity leave! They have policies and plans in place for when it happens, and so hopefully they will just feel happy for you! I assume you are returning to work after your maternity leave? You could always stress that point, too (if its true). I hope it doesn't impact the promotion! Good luck! blackbird on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-428864 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 09:11:32 +0000 blackbird 428864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'd ping your boss and give him a gentle nudge. If you don't get an answer within a couple weeks, I'd spill the beans. But I'd give them a couple weeks to get back to you. Mrs. Lovejoy on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-428863 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 09:10:35 +0000 Mrs. Lovejoy 428863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Silva: That's my worry as well.. I know I need to tell them, but for some reason telling people hasn't been as easy as I had expected. It feels so personal and private! While I know it shouldn't impact the raise/promotion, the realist side of me knows it does have the potential to. Thank you for your input :) I might just need a pep talk to tell them! Silva on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-428860 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 09:06:41 +0000 Silva 428860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I feel like you could maybe wait a few more weeks, but at some point they will feel like you hid it from them/kept it a secret for too long. Make it clear that you want to help in anyway possible to prepare for your maternity leave, and hopefully it won't impact the raise/promotion. It shouldn't! Mrs. Lovejoy on "When to tell work you're pregnant?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-to-tell-work-youre-pregnant#post-428855 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 09:02:45 +0000 Mrs. Lovejoy 428855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ In reading through other posts, it seems like most of you told work you're pregnant around the 12 week mark, plus or minus a few weeks. I'm having a mild dilemma so I thought I'd put my situation out there and get your thoughts. I've been with my current company since February and am a Sr. Project Manager. I essentially started the department I'm in, but am currently a team of 1, reporting to an executive (we're a smaller company of ~100). Over the past 9 months I've done a ton and led multiple global initiatives that seem to have impressed my boss. During my 6 month review, he said I have exceeded expectations and that he would talk with his boss about a raise for me. This was great news, but is also turning into mild dilemma because it's now been almost 5 weeks and I haven't heard about this potential raise, other than he still hasn't had time to touch base with his boss about it. Well, now I'm almost 16W pregnant. Last week the CEO pulled me in his office and talked about a potential job shift, which would have me managing a team of 4 to 5 people. This is great news, but I think there would be some impact of this decision if they knew I was due in May.. No one at work knows I'm pregnant yet, and I'm really stuck if I should wait it out to hear about the comp raise, or tell them and just suck it up if its not what I wanted.. Anyone had a similar experience or any advice?