https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Jul 2026 23:28:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1513344 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 22:43:11 +0000 irene 1513344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: @swedishfish: I guess I was joking. Please don't take me seriously. I didn't say he should lie or he should have used anything for an excuse. I said I would have said nothing if I were him (and yes, that's just me, not implying everyone should do the same. And if he said he's coming home early, he should come home early. There is no excuse for that because that's what he promised). Just like my husband would tell me, "you know, I was planning to take you out this coming weekend, but I called the babysitter and she wasn't available." This happened two times (one of them being valentine's day). Got me upset and I asked him why do you even tell me when we are not even going out?! He got me all excited on the first sentence and brought me all the way down (and lower) on the second! </p> <p>Sorry to have rubbed you guys the wrong way.</p> <p>ETA: I edited my original comments with better wordings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1513289 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 21:43:58 +0000 cascademom 1513289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be pissed. Does his workplace have a culture of drinking? DH's does. It's been an adjustment for him not attending those events. I've had a handful of times where DH came home drunk while I solo parent that night. Sounds like your DH needs to find a happy medium of the workplace social and family. I've been there. Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1513259 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 21:29:42 +0000 Amelieisme 1513259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeydew: I'd be pissed too! DH has done this sort of thing to me before ans I was livid. Hope he can see your point of view! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1513246 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 21:24:02 +0000 swedishfish 1513246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: so he should learn to lie by omission? Just go out drinking and not tell his wife he left work early? Wow, that wouldn't fly with me. My husband would never act like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1513195 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 21:02:15 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1513195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be so pissed off! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1513177 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 20:51:38 +0000 MamaMoose 1513177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I could not disagree with you more. I don't think it's at all okay to excuse his thoughtless and irresponsible behavior by suggesting that @Honeydew: should accept him doing whatever he wants without regard for his family because "men don't change" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1513166 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 20:47:11 +0000 irene 1513166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am sorry to hear that. I would be mad too. Actually sometimes I got mad at husband even if he went out to run errands for too long (eg. he says he'll run out to target to get something "very quickly", and he return 3 hours later). lol</p> <p>He might as well not have told you how he was going to get off work early "to come home and see you and the baby". Just don't say anything. If he comes home then what a nice surprise! If he didn't, he just came home the regular time.</p> <p>Argh. Men! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1513019 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 19:02:00 +0000 Honeydew 1513019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No drinking and driving. We live in Chicago, so at least I know that he wouldn't be doing that. </p> <p>He is an attorney and does have to meet clients. After mouthful from me last week, he said that he said he wouldn't drink in access again. The after work drink was to collect money from a fellow attorney. What makes me angry is the fact that he could do it without having "one drink" or scheduled it a different time if he truly wanted to spend time win us.</p> <p>Thank you gals for making me feel a little less alone in my thinking.</p> <p>He's now at home and helping me give DS a bath. As soon as baby goes down to sleep, I'm going to give him an Arse kicking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1513010 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 18:55:55 +0000 snowjewelz 1513010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are not bring unreasonable at all! Have you told him how his actions make you feel? If do, what did he say? I'm hoping maybe he caves into peer pressure too often and feel like he has to say yes to these social events? OR he is doing this deliberately? He went back on how word and that's definitely not cool. I'm sorry you are suffering :( I hope you guys can talk it out and that he is receptive to what you have to say! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512980 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 18:35:23 +0000 Lindsay05 1512980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be mad as well. I am unhappy if DH says he stops to fuel up which means an extra 10 minutes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512974 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 18:31:39 +0000 PurplePeony 1512974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is he drinking and driving? As much as I'd get upset about DH blowing his family off like that, I'd be a lot MORE angry if he was doing something do incredibly dangerous and illegal as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512972 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 18:31:26 +0000 Ra 1512972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: Or both! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512961 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 18:25:06 +0000 swedishfish 1512961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rahlyrah: hahaha, amazing. Or you could throw a bucket of freezing cold water on him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512960 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 18:23:52 +0000 .twist. 1512960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rahlyrah: lolol! You're awesome. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512959 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 18:23:02 +0000 Ra 1512959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, hell no! I'd be livid. I'd also blow an airhorn in his ear really loudly the next morning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512951 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 18:19:17 +0000 cheesetomywhine 1512951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Happens to us as well :sad: I now write it in orange sharpie on the very visible to anyone who comes in calendar. It has gotten better but still a big struggle. I'm sorry this is happening to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512917 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 18:02:37 +0000 MediaNaranja 1512917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh hell no. That's not ok!! Stick up for yourself girl, or I'm afraid it will become a habit and you'll both start resenting one another. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512913 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 18:00:02 +0000 Corduroy 1512913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That would frustrate me. I'm another low maintenance gal and sometimes I think my husband forgets that I'm not no maintenance. </p> <p>Obviously all relationships are different and but I find spelling it out for my DH helps. He's a good guy and most of the time he has no clue why I'm pissed. "I was really looking forward to spending the afternoon with you. When you didn't show I was confused since you don't normally bail on me and disappointed that you chose to go drinking instead. It made me feel like an afterthought." It sounds so dumb when I write it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512910 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:57:21 +0000 gingerbebe 1512910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Um, yeah I would lose it if my DH pulled something like that. A few things seem weird to me here, although I realize this could totally depend on his occupation/schedule. Perhaps you can clarify.</p> <p>Why is he drinking in the afternoon? If he had ONE beer at 3:30pm, I guess he could be sober enough to drive at 5pm, but otherwise, that would worry me right off the bat. Especially if he got drunk enough to upon coming home from another event at 6pm. I hope he took mass transit or someone drove him home??</p> <p>While I would be pissed at him for sure, do you think he has a dependency on alcohol, or this is just a thing that's come up recently? Does he have some kind of stress or something that's causing him to drink more lately? Perhaps he has some underlying issue that you all need to work out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512907 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:56:17 +0000 Kimberlybee 1512907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be upset too. These early years go by so fast, kids will grow up no matter what. You can't freeze time. These precious moments are more for us to remember and treasure forever. It's time wasted if he doesn't spend as much time as he can with your LO. How about tell him this and take a soft approach to explain why family time should be a priority when work is not in the way. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512905 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:55:45 +0000 Mrs. Taco 1512905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>100% not unreasonable. Pigs would fly before that would be acceptable in our relationship. Definitely speak up, I'm sorry :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512903 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:54:02 +0000 nana87 1512903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be livid! Telling you he's on his way home and then changing his mind to stop at a bar is ridiculous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512898 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:51:46 +0000 luckypenny 1512898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup. Id be HELLA mad! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512890 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:47:46 +0000 Mrs.Panda 1512890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Um I would raise all kinds of hell. That is unacceptable. Why get your hopes up to spend time out then just turn around and say 'never mind'? Really he didn't even say that, he didn't tell you anything for over an hour. Lame. </p> <p>I'm like you, super low maintenance but this would piss me off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512880 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:41:28 +0000 googly-eyes 1512880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That would piss me off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512868 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:36:34 +0000 lovehoneybee 1512868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be really upset if D told me he was coming home early to see me and our child and went to a bar instead. Like...really upset. I think you're absolutely justified in being upset. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512865 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:35:45 +0000 .twist. 1512865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you're being unreasonable. That would not fly in my house. :( Sorry, lady. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512864 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:35:20 +0000 MrsH 1512864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes. I would be pissed if my DH got tanked at a networking event and if he was supposed to be home and didn't let me know he would be late - before he was actually late. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512859 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:34:45 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1512859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're not being unreasonably upset. I'm sorry, honey. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-will-dh-learn#post-1512851 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 17:31:35 +0000 Honeydew 1512851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Am I the only one?</p> <p>I pride myself in thinking I'm not high maintenance. My dh works hard to provide for us and certainly deserves to blow off steam once in a while. Today, he said he would leave work early to be here early to see me and the baby and get out of the house since it was nice out. He texted at 3::20 to say he is leaving. He then just called (it's 5:00) to say he stopped for a drink and is now leaving to come home. By the time he gets home it's about time to start the whole bedtime routine. I feel like I'm an after thought or low in priority to see or spend time with. This is a common fight we have often. Mind you last week he came home at 6 and threw up (drank too much at a networking event) and passed out on the couch at 8.</p> <p>Am I being too unreasonable? I'm really upset. </p>