https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 17:57:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-179884 Tue, 05 Jun 2012 19:26:52 +0000 dagret 179884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my husband's family, he is the 3rd generation of men named L.H. His brother has 2 sons and hasn't continued the tradition, so my husband is set on boys with LH names. Every time I've been around ANYONE pregnant I've told them it doesn't matter if they name their kid an L or H name, if it's one of the few I can tolerate I'm using it. I don't care how close we are. They have 24 other letters to choose from! Boy L names are scarce and we don't want to use any of the 6 currently in use in our family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-179569 Tue, 05 Jun 2012 14:31:12 +0000 mrbee 179569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MK0180: Yah totally, I'd be upset too. I like your plan to use the same name! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-179566 Tue, 05 Jun 2012 14:28:09 +0000 MK0180 179566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They have rights to the name, however, DH has had his heart on the name for a very long time. His brother has known this and knows how much it meant for DH to have the name (DH and his father were very close). Brother never seemed to want or was interested in the name as the first name either. And its the principle of the whole situation - rather than talk to us about it they named the kid anyway, knowing that it would upset us. I just feel that if you're going to take a name then tell us about it first. I feel that how they went about it was a bit insensitive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-179387 Tue, 05 Jun 2012 13:17:51 +0000 heffalump 179387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MK0180: That's sucky. Of course I would talk to my friend about it, but I'm not going to bother until I'm pregnant again. We're going to be team green so I won't know if it's a girl until she's here, but I'll talk to her before the baby comes so she doesn't get a phone call or see a facebook announcement saying my LO's name which happens to be what she wants to name her LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-179379 Tue, 05 Jun 2012 13:13:51 +0000 googly-eyes 179379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mko0180 I agree w/ what Mr. Bee is saying, but I also think it would have been nice for them to give you the courtesy of a conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-179293 Tue, 05 Jun 2012 12:22:22 +0000 MamaMoose 179293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I agree with you Mr. Bee. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-179262 Tue, 05 Jun 2012 11:53:18 +0000 mrbee 179262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MK0180: It's a bit tough for one brother to declare dibs on a father's name though! They kind of have equal rights to the name, unless I'm missing something? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-179243 Tue, 05 Jun 2012 11:40:11 +0000 MK0180 179243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is what happened to DH and his brother. Brother recently had a son and named him the same name DH has had his heart set on for YEARS (both he and his awful wife were fully aware of this - we even had conversations about this in the past). But they decided, in the end, they wanted it and without bothering to speak to DH about it; they just named the kid. It pisses me off to no end (their baby was born less than a month ago so this is still pretty fresh). They couldn't even have the decency to talk to DH and myself about it. If they had then we could understand why they wanted to name their son this name (it is their father's name) and yada yada yada but it didn't happen this way. They still will not bring up his name in front of us nor will they talk to us about it. If we can ever have a baby and it turns out to be a boy, we will still name him what DH has set upon from the get-go and our family is ok with 2 boys of the same name; I am not backing down. So yes, please talk to your friend and let her know your feelings about the name. I agree this shouldn't be a thing to call dibs on but at least have a conversation about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-179174 Tue, 05 Jun 2012 11:06:20 +0000 Modern Daisy 179174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is exactly why I don't talk to friends and family about names! I only tell DH what I like and make him swear not to spill to anyone.</p> <p>But if I were in that situation, I would definitely have a wait and see attitude. Because you never know if you will fall out of love with the name when the time comes or if your friend will get pregnant first. If you still love the name and you're about to give birth and your friend isn't even pregnant yet I think the name is fair game - people can't claim dibs on it. Plus, nothing is stopping her from using it too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-179162 Tue, 05 Jun 2012 11:00:38 +0000 mrbee 179162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: I can't comment on having dozens of off-limit names. I only have a few close friends that I might confide a future baby name to. I plan to be friends with them in 20+ years, so we'd all be respectful of a confidence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178713 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 19:29:55 +0000 Andrea 178713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: if it just so happens that you both end up preggo with girls, then I would just have the conversation with her. Tell her that the name has special meaning and she'll understand if she is a good friend. It's not that she gets to call "dibs" on it (because she's not even preggo) but she just might be hurt if you use it without saying anything first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178705 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 19:20:24 +0000 googly-eyes 178705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well it's not the same name right? Her name would be a nickname for the name you're using? Some nicknames are not super close to the actual name and there could be other nickname options, hard to say without knowing what the name itself is.. Anyway I would wait until one of you gets pregnant with that gender child..one or both of you may change your mind anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178661 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 18:38:18 +0000 PawPrints 178661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Seriously, I know I have a different take on this because none of my siblings or close friends have kids, but still - I see people post that they have lists of DOZENS of names that are off-limits because other people nabbed them first. Your kid won't care, particularly not in five, ten, fifteen, twenty+ years, and it's none of your friend's/coworker's/cousin's business! Use the name! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178627 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 17:59:06 +0000 mrbee 178627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: Haha remind me not to share any of my baby names with you! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178626 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 17:56:20 +0000 PawPrints 178626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When it comes to names, I think it's important to keep a little perspective. Your kid will live with this name for her entire life. Can you imagine how crazy it would seem if she's, say, 35 years old and you're saying to her "Oh, did I ever mention to you that I really wanted to give you a different name, but I changed my mind because my good friend had used that name for her baby?" You'd be like, seriously? More than likely you'd have no idea who that friend was or who her baby was, or have any idea why it should have mattered if you had the same name as some other kid. Names last so, so much longer than the vast majority of friendships. Name your child what you want to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178619 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 17:39:18 +0000 joyjoy 178619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it was a very unique name, I think I'd be upset at first, but in the end, it's your right to name your own child whatever you want. No one has claim to a name or can control what you name your child. </p> <p>@mrbee: There was! Emma was one of Monica's "claimed" names, but she let Rachel have it. I always felt bad for Monica in that one just because in that case, Rachel didn't come up with Emma on her own. She just couldn't decide on a name and asked her friend what she had already picked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178555 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 16:21:00 +0000 kml636 178555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a friend ask me about names. I told her DH and his mom really liked Addison but I wasn't convinced since it seemed to just be a name of Grey's Anatomy. Well, of course then I felt bad because that is what they are thinking of naming their baby girl! And, another best friend of theirs is also using the name. If I was 100% set on it I wouldn't change due to a friend but otherwise, I think its really awkward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178268 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 12:39:40 +0000 heffalump 178268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: But I don't think it's fair just because she said the name out loud she gets it. My love for the name has nothing to do with her, I'd be naming my LO after my grandmother who I love dearly. I wish she just never told me. </p> <p>@Coco Bee: No I would never take a family member's name. I have a feeling I'll be out a lot of name options anyway because my brother is going to have triplets soon.... so they'll be taking lots of family names. I've been friends with this girl since preschool so I'm assuming we'll still be friends in 10 years.</p> <p>@autumnlove: See, that's not fair! You can't just call dibs on a name. If I were you, I'd use it. </p> <p>@Rescuemom10: What good friends! Wish everyone was so understanding about names being for everyone, not just them.</p> <p>@MamaMoose: But I love worrying about what if's! DH gets so upset with me..... I'm sure it's the cause for lots of my migraines!</p> <p>@mrbee: I don't remember that one. I know that Rachel used a family name from Ross's family, and they're Jewish so they would each want to name after a deceased relative. I also wish that they never named their kid Emma on friends. I think that's why it's so popular now, and it's our family name too that we were considering but threw it away because it's too popular.</p> <p>@bluestriped bee: Personally for me, I don't think it matters if you're TTC, waiting to TTC, or pregnant. I don't think people can have dibs on a name. But not everybody thinks like I do, and I know this girl will care if I used that name. I guess I just have to decide if I'm willing to give up a name that's really special to me to not piss her off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178216 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 12:16:36 +0000 Andrea 178216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@heartsnsunshine: yeah, it all depends. Maybe it's good to know if you do want to avoid having the same name in a family. But since you've never met those people, I'd say it is more fair game to use the same name! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178211 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 12:12:12 +0000 BSB 178211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I can see both sides. I have a name that we've told other people about but we are TTC. Does it matter if you are currently TTC versus not TTC? I think if you plan on starting a family in about 3-5 years, then you can't really call dibs on a name.<br /> Also, what if she changes her mind. Like, if that name got really popular in a year or so, I may end up changing my mind and may not use it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178209 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 12:08:49 +0000 Lozza 178209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Aww. I have a Ben. It's a good name :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178200 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 12:02:20 +0000 mrbee 178200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wasn't there a whole Friends episode kind of about this? Where Rachel used Monica's baby name... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178185 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 11:50:14 +0000 MamaMoose 178185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like some of the others I would probably be upset if I was the one who brought the name to your attention and then you used it. But at the same time.. She can't really "claim" a name.. Especially if she isnt even pregnant. For all you know neither of you will have a baby girl in the future so I wouldn't worry about spending too much time thinking about what if. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178141 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 11:21:30 +0000 Foodnerd81 178141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I would care that much. Unless it was a really weird name that we came up, but all our names are kind of regular names, so odds are someone else will like them too. I have had a conversation with someone who was "claiming" a name, and if someone put it that way, and I wasn't already planning on the name, I would use it. Otherwise it would really depend on the relationship. With siblings, definitely no duplication, but I wouldn't care if a friend had a baby with the same name. Unless I didn't like those 'friends'! We know a couple who have a baby with a name I love, but I just don't really like the parents that much and they tarnished the name for me!<br /> It bugs me that my sister, who will be godmother, already has a godson with one of our fave boy names, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178066 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 10:49:54 +0000 LuLu Mom 178066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@heartsnsunshine: haha I can see this from both angles. DH's cousin is due 3 weeks after us (her and I were friends before I knew DH, we met at her wedding) and we were talking baby names at Memorial Day. We figured we better say our names since there are so many of us due within the same time frame, just so we can kind of "stake claim" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178059 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 10:46:32 +0000 Rescuemom10 178059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I have had names picked out for a long time. Some really good friends of ours had a baby boy a little while back and named him the boy name that we love. They didnt know plus it was a family name for them so yeah. We actually told them we loved the name and why and they thought it was cool. They said if/when we have a boy that its still fair game. That they wouldnt care if we used the name too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178055 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 10:44:21 +0000 Lozza 178055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only have one sister, and DH only has one brother, and I'd hesitate to use a name they had already used, but other than that?<br /> My kid is going to have this name for (hopefully) many decades. Why on earth would I care if it's the same name as some friend's kid who he'll see maybe once a week till he's in grade school? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-178006 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 10:29:20 +0000 autumnlove 178006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A friend told me she has dibs on Benjamin which has been my favorite name for a boy for a long time...I just never shared that with her. It isn't a unique name so I'm not sure what I will do if we ever have a boy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-177965 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 10:08:04 +0000 Mrs. Pen 177965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It would depend on who it was. A family member? I would be sure only one of us used the name. But a friend? I wouldn't mind so much. you never know how long a friend will be in your life, and if they're not in ten years, will you regret not using the name? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-a-friend-both-love-the-same-name#post-177964 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 10:07:22 +0000 heartsnsunshine 177964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: "I guess it's best not to have the name discussion with people in case someone "takes" it! " I totally agree with this I try and not to discuss baby names with friends... and I wish I didn't with my SIL lol </p>