https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 08:46:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809529 Tue, 13 Mar 2018 12:42:16 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2809529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBucky: we'll be there for a week. DS will turn 4 at the end of that month. Good to know - thank you!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809522 Tue, 13 Mar 2018 12:14:06 +0000 MrsBucky 2809522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsLonghorn: How long are you going for? We went to Europe last summer with our then 2 year old, and it took 2-3 days to adjust. We were there for a month (my husband was working), so it was worth it. However, we have friends whose husband is french with similarly aged kids who go 1-2X per year for a week at a time. Their advice was that for less than a week, just don't bother to adjust the kid's time zone at all. Less work for you, and honestly will allow you to be way more flexible with the likely late Italian everything. Anyway, good luck! I have no idea if our friend in Milan's experience is the norm, but that's what he has told us several times, FWIW. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809516 Tue, 13 Mar 2018 12:01:24 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2809516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBucky: wait, they START at 9 or 10?! I knew things would be late, but wow.... </p> <p>Our current plan is to adjust only half-way to the new time zone. Fully adjusting to the new times, an 8pm bedtime is way to early in Milan...but if we don't adjust his time zone at all, he'd go to sleep at 1am Milan time (8pm in TX) which isn't happening either. We were thinking of splitting the difference -- treating 10-11pm like bedtime, shifting all of our meals accordingly, and praying that he adjusts his wakeup time to match! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809392 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 20:43:33 +0000 Becky 2809392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would also concentrate on having them ready for the wedding day, which would mean skipping the rehearsal dinner. We have also skipped rehearsals and it was fine—it’s not like they will remember what they’re supposed to do anyway unless they’re a bit older. You can also bring them to the ceremony site another time before the wedding to get them used to it which I did with DD1 when she was 3.75 (so older; when she was 22 months she didn’t see the site and was fine). I lean way more towards being flexible about naps and sleep so we can all have fun BUT if I know not letting them sleep will ruin my day the next day I’ll make it happen (this was really just when they were under 10 months old). When DD1 was 3.75 last summer we (me and her) took a 6am flight (so left home at 4:30am) Thursday, stayed until 8:45pm for her Friday for the rehearsal, got to the wedding venue at 3pm for hair Saturday, and sat around until the 7pm ceremony. She was so good during that time and I just let her run around the halls. Dinner wasn’t until after 8pm, and I let her dance until about 10pm. She would have stayed much later but I was exhausted and we had another 6am flight. The next morning we got an Uber at 4am (I woke her up at 3:55am). There was no napping happening there and she was still a solid napped those days (except one time on my friend’s couch for an hour). Just go with it and it will be more fun for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809380 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 19:24:35 +0000 MrsBucky 2809380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsLonghorn: oy that is so hard. My son’s godfather lives in Milan, and he regularly tells us stories of dinners out that start at 9 or 10 where people bring their kids my sons age (2)! And they somehow.... behave? And are fine? How?!?!?? Luckily he gets he cultural difference and doesn’t judge out more American/ bedtime centric parenting, but I could see how that would be tough is SIL or her fiancé are immersed in that culture. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809292 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 14:39:49 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2809292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD and DH are in my BIL’s wedding next month. The same situation is happening where most wedding events are after bedtime. I’m going to leave the rehearsal dinner early and put the girls to bed. It will be an hour after their usual bedtime, max. Then for the wedding we are hiring a sitter for the reception. They’ll be able to go to bed close to normal time. It’s a destination wedding on the beach. Luckily they are getting married right in front of the hotel. Also my BIL was future SIL have a six month old daughter so they have been proactive on finding sitters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809277 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 14:05:25 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2809277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following! </p> <p>SIL is getting married in Milan, Italy over labor day weekend. We have already told my parents that we will pay for them to go and babysit if they aren't already planning on attending. I already know there is going to be a battle over the fact that DS (who will be almost 4) is going to leave the reception early....but we have a 12 hour daytime flight home the next day so I don't really care.</p> <p>The hotel we're "required" to stay at (oy...) is 30 minutes from the wedding venue. We don't have a time for the ceremony yet, but since everything will be on an Italian schedule, I assume it will be late in the evening. I also just can't imagine her agreeing to have a daytime wedding... I'm considering packing our family up and staying at a hotel that is closer to the wedding venue just for that one night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809247 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 12:34:31 +0000 Foodnerd81 2809247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBucky: @Alba4: if possible I definitely recommend requesting connecting rooms with your parents. Then at least you or a babysitter or whatever can sit in the other room while the little ones fall asleep. And it wouldn’t cost extra if you are each getting rooms anyway. </p> <p>Personally I would definitely skip the rehearsal dinner for LO, even if it meant that DH or I had to skip too. Do the rehearsal then kid and one parent goes back to the room for an easy dinner and bedtime. Not worth keeping them out that late and I think anyone would understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809221 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 11:23:30 +0000 MrsBucky 2809221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misolee: I guess I am spoiled by my parents because my folks were always willing to take the bulk of kid duties at weddings, even if they were guests. For my BIL's wedding, they took DS back to the hotel after dinner and the wedding so I could stay. For another family wedding this April, they are doing the same. I'd think through what you need as a wedding party member and ask your folks if they are willing to take one for the team to help you out. If not, I know some folks are ok asking for babysitter recommendations or using care.com to find a sitter to stay with the kids while they sleep so you can go back to party. Honestly, if you found a babysitter, I'd just ask them to do whatever made sense- I've babysat for friends in a non suite hotel room and while it was annoying, you do what you have to do. Hang out in the bathroom, bring an iPhone and headphones to watch TV while the kid sleeps, go into the hallway so you don't keep them up, whatever you think will work! Or, could you see if the hotel has connecting rooms? You could request to have your room and your parents' room next to each other, so the babysitter could use the second room? I'm just spit-balling ideas :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809139 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 07:33:32 +0000 misolee 2809139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter was 2.5 when she was a flower girl at my brothers wedding. She had to go to the rehearsal bc it was good for her to practice and see what was expected of her. Rehearsal dinner wasn’t too late but we left after dinner and she knocked out on the way back to my brothers house. She was supposed to be at hair and makeup to do her hair earlier. Which was around nap time. We did her hair and then my husband drove her around until she fell asleep for at least an hour before wedding festivities began. That nap helped. From the wedding to the reception was like a 40 minute drive so she fell asleep on the way too. During cocktail hour, my husband took her outside and had her run down hills and play with her older second cousins. By the time the reception began, she was fine. She ate, danced, and then we did end up leaving a little earlier than most guests but it wasn’t a big deal.<br /> No big meltdowns or anything. She also adores her uncle and new aunt so she felt special being in their big day. Kids will be fine and even if they have a huge meltdown towards the end, it’s okay! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809125 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 05:30:28 +0000 Alba4 2809125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBucky: My parents are invited to the wedding, so they can only help out to an extent, since they are guests themselves. </p> <p>Re: babysitters- How would that work in a standard room? We can’t afford a suite as this is literally the most expensive hotel I’ve personally ever stayed at. There is a required multiple night stay.</p> <p>@LadyDi: I totally feel the same anxiety you are having. My husband is in the camp that we won’t attend the rehearsal or dinner since they are happening at bedtime, and that we want to be in good form for the wedding day. I don’t feel like that’s an option. Ug. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809107 Sun, 11 Mar 2018 22:25:47 +0000 LadyDi 2809107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following! My SIL is getting married in June, my husband and I and our two boys are in the wedding party (one will be 3 yo and the other 4 months). I am so stressed about it already. I have no idea how to handle all of the events, and how i am going to get ready with the bridesmaids, how we are going to transport the kids around, etc. In addition to the rehearsal and wedding there is a brunch the next morning in the hotel and after that my SIL told us she wants us to all go to a baseball game together (ugh). I am having major anxiety about it. At least my parents will be at the wedding, so I am definitely planning on having them help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809077 Sun, 11 Mar 2018 20:14:21 +0000 Foodnerd81 2809077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My older daughter was a flower girl last year at BIL’s wedding, when she was almost 4, and DH was in the wedding. I was not in the wedding party and our younger daughter (then 1) was not invited. My parents were able to come up for the weekend and we booked connecting hotel rooms so they could stay next door and babysit. </p> <p>We had the almost 4 yo go to the rehearsal, then I brought her to dinner with my parents and the baby, and my parents put them both to bed in the hotel room. I was late for the rehearsal dinner after helping get them settled with my parents in the room. No way did I want her up late the night before the wedding. </p> <p>Day of the wedding she didn’t nap but I made sure she had some down time to rest during the day. Lots of snacks to get through the ceremony. In hind sight I wish I had taken her out during the cocktail hour to run around instead of trying to get her to behave during what was really boring for her. She stayed at the evening reception for several hours, ate some of her kids meal, loudly announced she had to go potty right in the middle of DH’s best man toast, and had an absolute blast dancing. Then I brought her up to the hotel room and my parents got her to bed while I went back to the reception. </p> <p>It worked out really well, but it was key having my parents there and the wedding take place in the hotel. SIL actually asked me to read at the wedding and I declined because I wanted to be able to focus on keeping LO in line. </p> <p>Both girls, now 4.5 and 2, are flower girls this May and I’m a bridesmaid. Reception starts at 5:30 and the hotel is 15 minutes away, no babysitters. So it will definitely be a lot more challenging! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809076 Sun, 11 Mar 2018 20:06:29 +0000 MrsBucky 2809076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In yours shoes I’d prioritize bedtime after the rehearsal togive you the best shot at a good day for the wedding. I’d have dinner before the rehearsal, and if you can’t find care, send your DH to the dinner and put the kids to bed as close to one time as you can. I’d try to sneak in a nap and quiet time the day of, if it’s feasible. Can you mom come and stay with you guys to help wrangle the kids freeing you up for wedding party stuff? With both parents IN the wedding, I’d assume you’d need some sort of childcare regardless or to set expectations with SIL that you probably won’t be that involved day of, trying to make sure the kids are ok/ in the best shape not to lose it at her wedding :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809075 Sun, 11 Mar 2018 20:02:42 +0000 FaithFertility 2809075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alba4: Hahaaa I could have written This a month ago!<br /> We all went 2hrs west for BIL wedding! All family was there on his side, DH was a groomsmen and DD (3) flower girl and DS (15 months) ring boy! I was so nervous!</p> <p>We stayed in a hotel and On Friday the rehersal was at 11 a.m. we went to that then left got lunch and headed back to hotel to let DS nap! After we meet at rehersal dinner at 7 p.m. I fed them a light dinner around 5:30 and let them pick or eat whatever at the dinner!<br /> DD actually asked to sit in her brothers stroller at like 8 p.m. and was out!!!! DS partied with us we left at 9 he fell asleep on way back and they bitb crashed back in hotel!</p> <p>Wedding day I was lucky to have my sister drive up for the day!<br /> We took them to a park that morning, ate Lunch and DH left to be with his brother and we lwt DS nap! </p> <p>My sister helped get the kiddls ready and me ...<br /> We arrived at venue at 5 ceremony started at 6<br /> Snacks were a must! </p> <p>I waited down the aisle with fruiy snacks for DD and DS lol</p> <p>They stayed for about an hr at reception it was 200+ and crazy!</p> <p>My sister picked them up and took them back to hotel for room service and bed!!</p> <p>Having her was a life saver!<br /> But they were CHAMPS!!!!</p> <p>I think you know your kiddos best, mine get tired but will nap/sleep anywhere if really tired so I was ok, with being on the go! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-and-your-kids-are-in-the-wedding-party#post-2809074 Sun, 11 Mar 2018 19:51:08 +0000 Alba4 2809074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My entire family is in my SIL’s wedding this summer. This is the first time I’ve ever been invited to a wedding with kids, never mind had my kids in a wedding. It is a nighttime wedding.<br /> I’m more curious about whether or not you tried to stick to a schedule at all? My youngest still naps, but I figure there will be pictures before the 5:30 ceremony. Did you skip naps? Move them earlier? I’m planning on having lots of snacks and toys. How late did you stay at the reception? Luckily the reception is at the resort we are staying at.</p> <p>How did you deal with the other wedding related events? The rehearsal is at 7 PM and the rehearsal dinner starts at 8 PM. I’m kind of nervous about my kids making it that late. And I’m nervous that they are going to be over tired for the wedding day. Am I over thinking this? </p>