https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 15:58:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854898 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 11:18:51 +0000 808love 2854898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That’s great, @looch. When I was co-chairing the preschool PTA, we wanted to include parents who couldn’t make the meetings in other ways and aimed to help them bring their ideas/questions to life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854864 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 09:58:00 +0000 looch 2854864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: I am the co-president of the PTO at my son's school, and if someone contacted me and told me they were interested in being involved but couldn't make the meetings, I would absolutely work with them to find something that they could get involved in. Reach out, we can always use the help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854806 Sun, 04 Nov 2018 22:54:35 +0000 808love 2854806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>4H sounds really interesting. Also a a big fan of outdoors, art and play as learning to enrich at home beyond classroom walls. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854774 Sun, 04 Nov 2018 18:22:51 +0000 Becky 2854774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m really hoping to get more involved. Unfortunately our PTO meetings haven’t been at times I can make yet but they do rotate. After school and weekends I try to do as much free play and outdoor play as possible, and honestly my girls pretty much spend all their time drawing/coloring/painting so it doesn’t take a huge effort. I’m definitely going to look into some more structured-but-not learning activities. We do a dance class and 4-H starts next week which is a start. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854736 Sun, 04 Nov 2018 10:51:05 +0000 808love 2854736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To answer OP question, get involved and make it your ideal school as much as possible. Support your teachers, plan and prepare to give enrichment during break &amp; an hour or two on weekends, and participate in parent boards. Do whatever you can to help your child grow at home. I enroll my child in gymnastics and a language class upon her request and she also loves school. Test scores are not everything if that is why you think it is less than ideal. Homeschooled kids, whose parents give up after a few years, are often harmed by having to transition back to regular school and teachers not having enough time to fill in the gaps of thousands of hours they missed. So I guess if someone commits to homeschooling it needs to be an all-in thing. Getting involved to improve public schools for all kids is the answer in almost all cases. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854697 Sat, 03 Nov 2018 20:56:41 +0000 Orchid 2854697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a common misconception is that homeschooling means recreating the school environment at home. Taking that approach simply brings the disadvantages of traditional educational approaches right into your home. I think at this point in time, the empirical evidence in support of a play-based, unstructured, outdoor, child-driven and parent-supported éducation (particularly for younger children) is beyond debate. If your financial commitments make it impossible to consider homeschooling full time, I would strongly advise against trying to do it after a full day of school. Children are mentally, physically and emotionally worn out after a day of structured schooling, and the best gift you could give your child would be unstructured time to play, daydream, decompress, and enjoy her family!! Most of us are products of traditional schooling and we turned out ok! Don’t stress about it if you truly aren’t able to homeschool! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854676 Sat, 03 Nov 2018 17:52:52 +0000 Kaohinani 2854676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am an educator and I attempted to homeschool my daughter at one point but found it did not work because (1) she did not care that mom has an Ed.D, (2) Mom knows "nothing" as far as she is concerned in comparison to any other educator she comes across, (3) Our personalities don't always "mesh" in an educational environment, (4) she CRAVES peer socialization and finally, (5) DD is not a self-motivated learner. Unfortunately, we may be revisiting the idea of homeschooling her next year (while I homeschool her Kindergarten-aged brother) due to the fact that our upper-class area is zoned for an intercity lower-achiving middle school. We have the option to opt out and apply to the nearby middle school, but, if DD is not accepted, I will be homeschooling her once again. While I may be well equipt, I just do not believe it to be a great fit for DD and I the way it is for DS and I. All-in-all, I'm really feeling quite a bit of stress atm ... not to mention that I teach 3 days a week at a university and I'm a certified personal trainer. Part of me wishes to embrace fulltime homeschooling and the other part hopes (for her sake) they accept her. I'm certain I'm the minority here as for one child, I see where homeschooling is beneficial; however, for the other, I see where in regards to both her erudition and our relationship, it is detrimental. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854671 Sat, 03 Nov 2018 16:59:59 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2854671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: Yeah I think people are assuming what I mean is you have to have been a teacher. All I'm saying is to become a teacher, essentially, without the time and resources and support, would be really really difficult, and not something *I* would want to take on after a lunch or a couple months of school. I guess what I'm saying is it didn't come off to me like you really wanted to home school, but more that you were unhappy with the current school or maybe teacher or both, and I think there are other ways to do that. You don't sound offended, so hopefully you're not, but this was no personal attack on your abilities or on the abilities of any other homeschooling parent, just my point of view that I think it's probably very difficult to execute well, especially with a full work schedule. Possible, but at what cost is ok to you? </p> <p>One question you haven't really said anything about is how your child is doing and how your child is feeling. That would play a big part for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854669 Sat, 03 Nov 2018 16:21:14 +0000 honeybear 2854669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To the original question: I think that you have to decide how important it is to home school and if you really want to do it, you figure out how to make it happen. I don’t think it is easy for anyone. Every family gives up something to do it, whether it’s an income or loads of time. The range of solutions will inevitably look radical, because HS is a radical choice. </p> <p>Regarding caregivers, I think that you have to make sure that everybody you have help is on board with HS and with your particular approach to it. I imagine that it could be fine to have caregivers during the workday and then do academic work in the evening/weekends, especially for early elementary, but you’d need caregivers who will at least not do stuff that actively undermines your efforts. Not every adult likes reading children’s books or supervising children in the park, for example, so if a caregiver is going to resort to TV over reading aloud or outdoor time, you probably need to find someone else. </p> <p>One thing I would caution against is doing what is referred to as “afterschooling,” which is trying to do a HS-type curriculum after your child comes back from a day at public (or private) school. I feel like this approach, even if you’re using a play-based curriculum, means you get the worst of both worlds without many of the benefits of each. Children need time off. </p> <p>I would also be very careful to resist the temptation to do an outsourcing-heavy version of HS, especially to start. I know these types of programs are attractive to parents because they reduce their workload and potentially give the parents some time "off," but I think there are plenty of not-great offerings out there and it requires a lot of effort to find the really good ones that are also suited to your child. There's little point in my view in going from a sub-optimal school situation to sub-optimal outsourced HS classes. </p> <p>To the point made by several commenters: I think the idea that being a former classroom teacher gives you an edge in being good at home schooling is largely mistaken. In my observation, it is often more of a hindrance because former classroom teachers tend to feel like there’s a “right” way to do things and get stuck doing things that might work okay in school but don’t really make sense in a HS environment. It’s not universally true, but it happens quite a lot. Having been a classroom teacher might mean you’re more current on some topics, which is helpful. Still, no one teaches every grade and every subject, so the advantage there is limited, and quite possibly no greater than someone who has worked in or studied a particular field. </p> <p>The fact is that if you’re going to HS, you’ll have to (re-)educate yourself too, whatever your previous or current occupation. I think it’s best to look at that project as an ongoing one, but it is definitely time consuming. You could opt to have someone else teach the things you’re not thrilled about, but like I said above, I think that you need to be thoughtful about outsourcing and I wouldn't start with a mostly-outsourced approach. </p> <p>I think HS is a great way to educate a child, but you should know that it is time-consuming (I said this already, but it bears repeating!) and tiring. I think it could work with some employment situations, but I don’t think you would have time for anything else. That’s something you’d really want to consider. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854662 Sat, 03 Nov 2018 13:37:14 +0000 Becky 2854662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: I got what you were saying—I WOH FT and it wouldn’t be possible for me to do it on my own just because I personally am not equipped to do so for the long haul, which is why I find all the programs out there for homeschool families attractive. I think there are people who could but I also made it pretty clear that wasn’t me so your statement was accurate for my situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854649 Sat, 03 Nov 2018 12:23:04 +0000 gotkimchi 2854649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Hypatia: I’m neutral on homeschooling - think it works well for some and not for others but in the research on performance isn’t it sort of self selecting because testing isnt required/mandatory? Ie if parents are allowing their kids to be tested they will probably do well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854648 Sat, 03 Nov 2018 12:22:20 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2854648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Hypatia: I don't mean it offensively, but honestly I just don't think all kids are better off at home even if their parents want to do that. I don't think it takes a degree but I do think there are certain skills that some people possess more than others, and parents should be very bluntly honest with themselves as to whether they are qualified, especially in older grade levels, or wether the problems can be addressed either in their current school or by finding a way to switch schools. </p> <p>Even if they do better, I think it's probably still quite difficult (and I don't think that's offensive personally, I've been a ft sah parent and I did find it difficult..), both practically, and also potentially emotionally, if the homeschooling parent is coming from having their own full time career to being full time teacher for an extended period (years.) I do know a few homeschooling parents but those that I know also cart their kids to quite a few programs for enrichment and socialization that would not be compatible with a full work schedule unless of course they had help willing to do that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854643 Sat, 03 Nov 2018 12:02:00 +0000 Hypatia 2854643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: This is highly offensive to homeschooling families. You do not need a degree in education to teach your child well. Statistically, most homeschooling moms do not have a degree at all and yet their children outperform both their public and private schooled peers. This soundly debunks the notion that homeschooling is impossible for anyone who doesn’t have a background in education. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854603 Sat, 03 Nov 2018 07:48:38 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2854603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: I think unless you have a background in education, it would still be very difficult to do a good job homeschooling even if you were at home all day. I also think that kids learn a lot from being with their peers. I think woh full time and home schooling are ultimately incompatible unless your caregivers can take over a good chunk of it. I don't like everything about public schools right now either, but at the moment I still think my kids are better off there than at home full time, especially because they are different ages and not doing the same stuff. As to the movie thing I would try to find out more. My dd will say "were watching a movie" and technically they are but it's like a tiny bit while getting up from rest time every day (6.5 hours in school, .5 hr rest) and it takes them maybe 2 weeks to finish it. I wouldn't be shy in asking about that if it's literally 1.5-2 hours every Friday though. I think being involved and working with the school on specific issues is where I would start rather than worrying about all 12 years right now. Hang in there, fwiw I think most of us have some reservations or worries about our kids starting school for some reason or another. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854552 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 20:11:58 +0000 Becky 2854552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Thanks. Everyone’s feedback is really helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854551 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 20:11:10 +0000 Becky 2854551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: She was at daycare twice per week in a program she had outgrown. The other 3 days she was with my mom and MIL. It would have been tough with my MIL because she was also watching my younger daughter (2.5) and 1 y/o niece and had recently started letting them watch more TV than I was ok with. My parents did more activities with them, and had them involved in the garden, cooking, crafts. So I do think being in school right now is in a way better—but then she also told me today they watch a movie every Friday which I think happens because they have to pull some kids for assessments. I think that is insane and I don’t know what to do about it because her teacher is someone we socialize with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854548 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 20:07:16 +0000 Silva 2854548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: it’s really hard to make these decisions. I really think with love and support at home kids will be okay. ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854545 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 20:04:27 +0000 Becky 2854545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: I think a lot of my anxiety is about the fact that I probably should have held her back. She’s doing great, but I feel like 4 is too young to start kindergarten (even though the cutoff is 12/1). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854544 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 19:47:04 +0000 thepaperbutterfly 2854544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For what it's worth, my sister and I went to a pretty bad public high school because we lived in a rural area. My sister went to Harvard for grad school (she got a PhD in theoretical physics) and I went to UCSF School of Pharmacy, which is one of the best in the nation. Prior to that I went to UC Berkeley, and my sister went to UC Davis. However, I do understand the need for good schools. We moved into a neighborhood with mediocre public schools and amazing charter schools (3 for elementary age) but they are based on a lottery system, so I'm not sure how long it will take to get into one of those. The amazing public schools in our city require you to live in very high income housing ($750,000+), unfortunately. There are two cities near us with amazing public schools, but it would add 30 more minutes to my husband's commute to work, so he would spend 1 hour one-way driving to his job. Elementary school isn't going to make or break my child's academic career, so we are hoping she gets into one of the charter schools. She's only 22 months now, so we have some time before she gets to high school. At that point we may move just so she attends a really great school. I have a friend who gives her daughter math homework as a supplement to public school (daughter is 8) and she's at the top of her class. Might be something else to consider. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854535 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 18:12:53 +0000 Silva 2854535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: sorry it was really just a bad joke, I will edit it out- didn’t mean to offend. I really do support public schools and teachers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854533 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 17:52:33 +0000 DesertDreams88 2854533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: If you currently WOHM, what kind of care do you use for your child? Isn't school just in a way an extension of that freedom?</p> <p>Like, I'm a WOHM. I have some guilt and questions about "leaving" my kid in someone else's care. But, rationally, I know that they are getting a better education and a more well-rounded life with other caregivers involved than if it was just me 24/7. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854532 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 17:49:39 +0000 DesertDreams88 2854532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: I think we can come up with a lot better words than slaughterhouse. :crying: I don't think my classroom resembles that at *all*, nor does any classroom I know....and I work at a low-income, challenged school. I know you're trying to go for a metaphor but I find it way too extreme. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854517 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 15:27:03 +0000 Silva 2854517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh- and even at kindergarten level, managing the schedule and staying on top of stuff is a lot of work. It was important to me that she attend outside classes with other kids, but it’s a lot of schedule juggling especially with two younge kids at home. And it requires tremendous self discipline on my part, to hold the rhythm and routine. And my daughter really has a hard time with not knowing things/not being perfect, which is a total trigger for me and we butt heads about it.<br /> I’m really grateful for this extra year with her, truly. But it is a lot and I’m barely doing any actual schooling!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854516 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 15:24:27 +0000 Silva 2854516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I keep meaning to reply when I’m at my computer but can’t seem to get there.</p> <p>We are very opposed to the general direction public school has gone in, because we prefer outdoor, play based education until more like age 7. There are lots of other things that make me nervous about public school after that age but I have a 5.5 year old so outdoor time and play are most on my mind. We are a Waldorf influenced family, from my own background and from connecting with that community through early childhood programs. My mom is a public school teacher and every fall she calls me and tells me she will use her retirement money to send our kids to Waldorf school.<br /> That said- I also believe strongly in the public school system and from a political/ethical standpoint cannot in good conscience pull my kids out (unless for individual reasons a kid was really struggling and it was clearly the wrong fit). If all the concerned, involved parents pull their kids the situation will become more dire.<br /> So here is what we came up with, and we were able to do this because we are financially privileged enough to accommodate it and because I choose to primarily stay at home. For preschool years our kids go/will go to a non academic, play and outdoor based program part time. We will delay formal public school until they are 6. For my daughter, a spring birthday, we opted to homeschool for kindergarten. She is quite bright and would be bored if we started her in kindergarten at age 6 1/2, so we are homeschooling this year and she will start first grade in the fall. My son is an August birthday so he will do three years of part time preschool and then start kindergarten when he is 6.<br /> My daughter does go to the public school for art, music and afternoon “choice” time as a way to introduce her to the school and classmates, to hopefully make the transition easier next year.<br /> I developed our curriculum but it’s Waldorf inspired and pretty simple. We do a circle time in the morning, I tell a story/fairy tale, and then we spend maybe 10-15 minutes practicing something like lower case letters, numbers, etc. then we just play, and do projects based on the seasonal theme for the week or whatever she’s interested in. Although I’d rather do no formal academics for awhile, given our plans to move into public school I want her to keep up/ but 10 minutes a day and she’s going to be totally fine- a lot harder to teach 15 kids stuff than just 1!! Below is a great resource that follows similar ideas (and is totally secular)<br /> <a href="https://weefolkart.com/homeschool/simple-seasons-curriculum/" rel="nofollow">https://weefolkart.com/homeschool/simple-seasons-curriculum/</a></p> <p>She also does a yoga class and swim class, and once a week she goes to a friends house or her friend comes here (they also homeschool) and we head into the woods for the morning.</p> <p>When she enters school I plan to be as involved as I can be. So far the school has been incredibly supportive of our goals and very understanding. I live in an area with great schools which obviously makes a difference but there are things like a gardening program, a natural science program, Friday nature walks, etc and there is always a call for parental involvement. Again- I recognize that my privilege as a stay at home mom is what will allow my involvement and that’s not an option for everyone, but as much as I can encourage and support these activities I will. </p> <p>Although he’s not someone I really want to quote or praise in anyway, Louis CK has a bit in the last Netflix special he did where he says that he sends his kids to NYC public schools and the audience applauds. He then pointedly says “yeah. Send your kids there.”<br /> It’s far from perfect, and I honestly lose sleep thinking about sending my kids there, and I desperately want to bubble wrap them, but I think public schools can be better and I think I have a responsibility to help get them there.</p> <p>*Edited out a bad / poor taste joke </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854515 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 15:05:22 +0000 DesertDreams88 2854515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: this exactly. </p> <p>I think just like public school, homeschooling can have a HUGE variety of quality. I know some homeschooling families and their kids have an amazing breadth and depth of knowledge, then I have some others whose parents are just "playing" school and leading to huge gaps in their knowledge. Anecdotal, but I had a home-schooled friend in high school that ended up moving into public school and being two grade levels behind where she was supposed to be / thought she was. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854502 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 13:24:38 +0000 looch 2854502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: I can only speak from my son's experience so far (he is in second grade) and the main thing I had to keep in mind is that while there are a lot of worksheets, it doesn't mean that is how the concept was taught to them. They aren't just presented with a worksheet and told to learn the concept. All manner of math manipulatives are used, including 10 frames, dice, unit kits, etc. I buy a ton on amazon, we use those for our 60 minutes of math home learning per week. The other night we busted out the coins and used those for a matching game.</p> <p>Have you observed the classroom and shared the concerns with the teacher? You're not the only one that has come to the conclusion that the worksheets are prevalent, but I don't think (at least in my son's case) they are prohibiting him from learning.</p> <p>I have basically come to the conclusion that I have to do the best with the environment that we are in. It means we use the public school and we supplement where I feel we need to (foreign language, in particular). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854495 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 13:03:35 +0000 Becky 2854495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Hypatia: I love the idea of a Year of Playing Skillfully! It's exactly the type of thing I'm looking for. I'm really interested in trying some of this stuff out. Thanks for that recommendation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854494 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 13:01:49 +0000 Becky 2854494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: I agree, I would need a lot of support in homeschooling (especially because I work full-time and often solo-parent so evenings are already a dash). I could teach topics like home economics, shop, reading, writing, language arts through probably middle school, beginning music, gardening, outdoor exploration, and obviously physical activity (if I had time)...but art beyond first grade, history/social studies, science beyond maybe third grade, and math beyond probably first grade (new math!) I'd be at a loss. Once we got to high school my dad and husband could take over economics, my dad could do English, and my husband could do math. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854493 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 13:01:45 +0000 Hypatia 2854493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: Maybe you could strat by casually starting a relaxed homeschool curriculum and your husband and in-laws can see how much she thrives with it?</p> <p>A Year if Playing Skillfully is a fun, projects based program that follows the seasons. I think it’s for ages 4-7. It’s mostly secular, aside from a single bible verse hey include for each month. It’s like someone gathered a bunch of Pinterest projects and organized them for you, complete with items you need and suggestions about how to pick and choose and tie it all together. </p> <p>Or you could do something more formally academic, like a reading or math program. All About Reading uses a hand puppet and lots of games. Right Start math uses lots games and manipulatives. There are a lot of options! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-cant-home-school-but-wish-you-could#post-2854489 Fri, 02 Nov 2018 12:53:57 +0000 Becky 2854489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think what I'm most apprehensive or unhappy about right now is the number of worksheets she's coming home with. I also know that at home we'd be able to work on more practical/skills building activities like cooking, self care, cleaning, exploring outside, gardening, knitting (something she's interested in)--things that are part of everyday life and help you learn as well. </p>