https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 09:49:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2596976 Tue, 02 Aug 2016 09:46:00 +0000 Madison43 2596976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@magnoliamama42: I love your approach. I grew up with racism also and struggle with how to shut my father down without causing a major scene. I tend to react with anger, which only escalates the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2596967 Tue, 02 Aug 2016 09:32:51 +0000 magnoliamama42 2596967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: My LO is only 16 months, and I've been using that line for awhile now. Kids pick up on things way earlier than you'd think. All of my daughter's teachers since she started daycare have been minorities, and she could not be more loved where she is. The cashiers who dote on her at the grocery store every time we go are all black. There are lots of kids in her daycare class that look nothing like her, and we are friendly with their parents and do playdates. And my best friend, my daughter's "auntie", is black. All of these people are a part of us, a part of our daily lives. No way in hell am I going to allow someone to sit there and tell her that something is wrong with the people she loves and who love her (even if she barely understands). </p> <p>I remember the first time someone made a racist remark in front of me. I was very very young, but that memory stands out so vividly. I couldn't have been older than 3. When my grandpa said what he did, I felt like he had punched me in the gut, I felt like maybe he couldn't love me like he said, like he must see bad things in me. Because I loved dearly the people who fell into the category he was talking about (our cleaning lady, my two best friends at daycare, our next door neighbor). And if he saw something wrong with them, then surely he must see something wrong with me, too. </p> <p>I'm being long-winded on this, because I think it's important. It's never too early to shut that talk down. I do think children should be taught about racism, but not so soon and not the way I did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2590966 Fri, 22 Jul 2016 22:42:03 +0000 periwinklebee 2590966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mostly try to ignore it, or unfollow if it's on social media. The only exception was one year at Christmas when my brother was going on about gays being sinful, should not be allowed to marry, and so forth. The only reason I said something is that another (religious) relative was sitting there who I'm pretty sure is in the closet, and I didn't want him to think that everyone in his family thinks gays are evil. He's always lived in a very, very conservative area where I seriously doubt anyone has ever said anything positive about the LGBTQ community. He would never want to come out, which I totally respect, but I just wanted to say something positive. It didn't go particularly well...I think I just made said relative feel like he had to argue on my brother's side. I really don't know the best way to show support in this kind of situation. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2590958 Fri, 22 Jul 2016 22:14:51 +0000 Mama Bird 2590958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: it's not my in laws, it's my own parents! Which makes me more invested in arguing because I've always thought of them as being fairly sane, and I can only assume they've somehow missed the full implications of voting for said candidate. So I keep nicely pointing out the things this person has said and done and hope they'll draw some conclusions. I do know where they're coming from, but I think they're ascribing more character and trustworthiness to this person than they should. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2590657 Fri, 22 Jul 2016 12:27:07 +0000 BSB 2590657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@magnoliamama42: I wish my kids were older that I could use that line. They are only 10.5 months so still oblivious to politics, but I would love to use that line about them criticizing their teachers when they are older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2590655 Fri, 22 Jul 2016 12:25:44 +0000 BSB 2590655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: Has the arguing affected your relationship with your in laws? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2590022 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 14:46:34 +0000 codeitall 2590022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on the content. My family doesn't do social media and keep our opinions to ourselves (we're all fairly moderate anyway with some fiscal conservatism here and there), but my husband's family is a little more prone to broadcasting their opinions.</p> <p>DH shared an article from NPR and got a ton of follow-up articles from no-name spam websites from my MIL about NPR being totally biased against anyone in the GOP. She was "genuinely concerned that you are listening to the liberal media" and thought he should be reading more drudge report and getting a Fox News live feed installed in his brain I guess.</p> <p>In general, we tend not to say anything and just avoid the subject, because we know they are irrational, but if something goes over the line with hatred/xenophobia/racism etc., we make a comment about the ridiculousness of their 'facts' and/or sources and that we are teaching our child to love and respect others regardless of whatever others think.</p> <p>I try not to be drawn into debates and tend to put things in "well, personally, I think the one with less lies would be more trustworthy" and leave them to ponder whether that means I agree with them or not. Then I distract them with a conversation about their grandkids or parenting philosophies. Works pretty consistently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589593 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 09:35:25 +0000 Mama Bird 2589593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I argue with them. I've always let it go in the past, but this time I think the consequences of staying quiet could be too serious. Hopefully they've all known me long enough to see that if I'm picking a political fight, it matters to me big time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589553 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 08:54:08 +0000 magnoliamama42 2589553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are on completely the other side of things politically from my in-laws. And they are unwavering and unable to have rational conversations about it.</p> <p>I grew up with racism in my own family. I learned from a very early age that you can love someone deeply, even if they have a completely different view of the world. This ability has helped me my whole life. </p> <p>That being said, I unfollow all my in-law's posts on Facebook so they don't turn up on my newsfeed. When politics is brought up in face-to-face conversation (they usually spout out some hatred and assume I will agree), I just say, "Well, we see things differently. Let's talk about something else." When my father in law says something racist, I either don't react at all, because sometimes I think he does it to look for a reaction, or I say "I don't like that kind of talk around LO. You're talking about her friends and auntie and teachers." And he stops.</p> <p>Basically, just shut it down but don't engage in conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589538 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 08:35:38 +0000 Adira 2589538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a hard time with this. My in-laws don't usually post anything political (and probably are annoyed by my postings), but my own family does and it's pretty annoying. For the most part we are all liberal and agree, but my family were BIG Bernie supporters and just can't get behind Hillary at all. They basically talk about her and Trump like they are the same and both will be terrible. It's really frustrating to me as a Hillary supporter because I just don't understand WHY they think that. But every other post is a meme bashing Hillary. Trump supporters don't need liberals helping them... :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589520 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 08:13:22 +0000 Madison43 2589520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Uh, my dad is voting for Trump, so yeah. Luckily, my parents live 600 miles away so I can easily ignore the craziness, but we are renting a beach house with my parents and siblings in a few weeks and I know that there will be conflict. I'd rather not discuss it, but my dad CANNOT stfu about it, and I am too passionate about it to let him spew...lets be nice and call it nonsense. Needless to say, I feel you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589516 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 08:03:03 +0000 Anagram 2589516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This has been really hard for me lately. I have siblings--my own siblings!--and cousins who I absolutely love growing up that post things on FB that really upset me. And a lot of times, it's not just a theoretical meme or discussion that offends me--if it's something kind of anti-immigrant, then that's personal to me. My husband is an immigrant! If it's something that's along the lines of "All the problems in the world would be solved if Christ were in government and schools", then again, that's offensive to me personally! My husband isn't Christian. I'm agnostic. So they are directly saying they don't agree with our very way of life.</p> <p>It isn't something I can really look past any more. Unfortunately, social media has changed my view of a lot of family members. I don't think our relationship will ever be the same. It's sad but also...I don't know, if this was what's in their head all along, and they most definitely never said these views to me face, then maybe in a way it's good that I see their true feelings so I can separate the wheat from the chaffe in my life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589512 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 07:46:43 +0000 LuLu Mom 2589512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I live in a very "right" sided community and I swing pretty left. I've learned to hold my tongue (especially around those who don't educate themselves and just spout off Fox News findings) because it's best to not get into an argument. If someone asks me I give my honest opinion, but i'm always outnumbered and have learned less is more in most discussions regarding politics. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589507 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 07:33:35 +0000 ValentineMommy 2589507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm dealing with this as well. Some of my DH's family are very vocal on their support, and also degrading the other candidate. It's driving me up a wall. I try to ignore, but internally it fires me up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589500 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 07:19:38 +0000 Ajsmommy 2589500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I turn the other cheek and ignore, ignore, ignore. It's very hard sometimes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589449 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 01:33:03 +0000 lamariniere 2589449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm dealing with this right now. My dad and I have totally opposite political views and some of his are quite...extreme (even by extreme standards). I've actually been completely ignoring him lately because he made some incredibly callous remarks in relation to recent current events. I told him to stop making those types of comments to me and I haven't spoken to him since. I hate having to ignore him because if we don't talk about politics, he's a decent guy, but I also cannot sit idly by and let him air views that make me want to puke.</p> <p>ETA: normally, I never ever bring up politics. I used to debate him but we aren't going to change each others minds so I decided a few years ago that it's a taboo topic. With the recent events, he randomly said something to me and I just couldn't ignore it this time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589364 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 20:40:04 +0000 cat620 2589364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have this problem too. My in-laws are conservative republicans who are pretty much against everything I am for. It gets so frustrating whenever we talk about politics. I don't initiate these conversations, but I get sucked in through group chats or when we see them. My father-in-law is a lawyer, and he loves to argue/debate. I personally don't, but I feel like I have to defend my beliefs. My husband thinks I shouldn't engage him, and I should either ignore him (on the group chat) or change the subject (when we're in person), but that's easier said than done. I don't have advice, but I can relate to what you're going through. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589284 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 18:23:41 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2589284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I ignore them and hide people who really annoy me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589283 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 18:22:28 +0000 Mrsbells 2589283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: This particular election season is tough because it isnt just your usual liberal/conservative issues. Regardless of which side you are on somethings are just right or wrong but thats all blurred this year. I dont have any good advice for you though </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-dont-have-the-same-political-views-as-your-in-laws-or-family#post-2589282 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 18:19:12 +0000 BSB 2589282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How do you deal with it? Especially if they are vocal about it?</p> <p>Luckily, the few of my own family members that I do disagree politically aren't very vocal or don't use social media. Unfortunately, DH's family is very vocal. I've been biting my tongue and trying to ignore it. I know that social media is causing some of it. </p> <p>I know everyone has their own views and we don't have to agree. I do find myself not wanting to talk to certain people. I know some of the things I post on social media make my in-laws eye roll... a lot. I should cut back on my social media but since we are so far from family, we do use it to post about our children. So there are good reasons for social media in our case. </p> <p>I know we are a few months away from the election and I'm sure things will get worse. I think I just need to find strength to look past some of the things my in-laws' post. Oh, I've hidden some of the groups so if they share from a particular group, I don't see it. </p> <p>I'm trying to be better and trying not to judge but it's so hard. They think they are right and I think I am right. </p> <p>So tell me how you look past differences of opinions in politics. </p> <p>When it comes to friends, I can look past it but when it comes to family (especially by marriage) it's much harder for me. For my own family, I can brush it off. Could this be a struggle or conflict I have with the in laws and the political differences are making it worse? </p>