https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 09:17:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned/page/2#post-384095 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 14:36:01 +0000 pinkcupcake 384095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I think it's really, really rude. I had a couple people ask me and I had no idea how to respond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned/page/2#post-383986 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 14:15:28 +0000 kml636 383986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>a guy I worked with asked me this. I was shocked... so rude! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned/page/2#post-383742 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 13:26:41 +0000 Adira 383742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ooops, I've asked this to my sister-in-law! I didn't realize how rude it was! She didn't seem offended at least! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned/page/2#post-383692 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 13:10:06 +0000 birdofafeather 383692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we get asked this all the time. it's like people don't know what else to say? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned/page/2#post-383670 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 13:04:15 +0000 Alivoo01 383670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope because we're at the age where it seems right to have babies. And for those that aren't, I don't ask. Seems rude to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned/page/2#post-383667 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 13:03:21 +0000 BKCaribBaby 383667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got asked this this weekend, and I replied, "Very much so." That said, I just think it's an odd question to ask, especially to someone like me who's been married multiple years, in my 30's, etc. Unless I've stated that I am never having kids, and I'm in a stable relationship I don't understand why this would even be asked. Luckily, I like this person a lot (we're not close friends but I like her), so I didn't care. I actually hated the "When are you having kids? Why don't you have kids yet?" questions much worse. My prospective reproductive plans are not anyone's business. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned/page/2#post-383659 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 13:01:10 +0000 immabeetoo 383659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would ask my very close friends if I didn't already know the answer, but never anyone else.</p> <p>This is literally the first question every single person asked us, it was really surprising and sort of irritating! I guess in my family's defense, I had been telling them all it wouldn't be for a few more years because I didn't want to hear questioning, so they were surprised. But still. And complete strangers, really?? I am always surprised at what people ask/say. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned/page/2#post-383654 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 12:57:52 +0000 Honeybee 383654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never asked anybody is their baby was planned. I would be too embarrassed since that questions kind of implies I'm thinking about their sex life. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned/page/2#post-383648 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 12:56:25 +0000 autumnlove 383648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I wish I responded with that! I was at a wedding on Saturday and a bunch of not close friends asked me if my current pregnancy was planned...which led to lots of comments about me being like a jackrabbit, etc. :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned/page/2#post-383475 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 11:55:25 +0000 JerricaBenton 383475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Never. I can't believe people ask this! My husband's client asked him, 'Are you guys happy about it?' when he told her and that is kind of the same but almost worse! We are married, in our late 20s, gainfully employed, never said we didn't want children - why they heck wouldn't we be happy about it and why would we tell you if for some reason we weren't??? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned/page/2#post-383445 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 11:50:19 +0000 shopaholic 383445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes! I guess I'm in the bad! Usually people always just ask casually like "we're/are you guys trying?" and it seems a very common question. I would only ask friends though that you talk about everything with anyways. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned/page/2#post-383415 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 11:42:31 +0000 Arden 383415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>God no. And if anyone asks me, no matter who they are, my answer will be "That is a very personal question" and a glare to teach them not to ask anyone else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383268 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 10:59:12 +0000 .twist. 383268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No never. </p> <p>Anyone I'm really close with, I'd probably just know if it was or wasn't planned and even then I wouldn't ask. Anyone else, I would never ever ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383251 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 10:50:39 +0000 edelweiss 383251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meredithNYC: i did this also several years ago--i just blurted it out. i don't know what i was thinking (well, clearly i wasn't thinking), am so embarrassed about it, and would never do it again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383158 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 10:09:03 +0000 Springtime 383158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way! I think it's really rude! Usually if they are a close friend they will tell me anyways or I can usually tell by the way they acting about being pregnant.</p> <p>I got this question a lot when I was pregnant bc it was only 3 months after our wedding. I hated it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383156 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 10:07:20 +0000 MsMamaBear 383156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. Never. RUDE. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383152 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 10:06:36 +0000 Revel 383152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been asked this question so many times, and I hate it. I've volunteered this information to close friends and family, but I still hate the question from acquaintances or, you know, SO's mom, ugh.</p> <p>I do think it depends on the relationship between the pregnant person and the asker - I don't think it's always inappropriate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383150 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 10:06:05 +0000 littlebug 383150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only person I EVER asked that question to was my sister, because her pregnancy came as SUCH a shock to me. I didn't even think they wanted kids, let alone that they were trying. Otherwise, no, I never ask. I think it's rude. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383128 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 09:52:51 +0000 Foodnerd81 383128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ms.janedoe: OK that's a different situation. I'd ask then too-- it's just that none of my besties have said they DON'T want kids. So I'd have no reason to ask anyone I am close enough with to ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383126 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 09:51:24 +0000 Foodnerd81 383126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Never! I DO have 2 friends whose first pregnancies were unplanned (as in, a few months pregnant at the weddings they had been planning for a year.) They are both open about it being a surprise, but even though, though I would have assumed, I wouldn't have asked. If someone tells me they are pregnant, generally that means they are happy about it, so that's all I need to know.<br /> I do wonder sometimes, but really, I'm 31, most of my friends are in the early 30s, somewhat recently married, so I just assume it was planned. None of my business if it wasn't. Asking if it was planned does seem to imply that you don't think this is a good time for them to be pregnant or that they don't know how to use birth control. I'd be offended if someone asked me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383125 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 09:50:45 +0000 Turd Ferguson 383125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have (duck and cover)... I've asked my one (and only) friend who is pregnant, but I think it might be different based on the relationship I have with her. </p> <p>We're super close, blunt, sarcastic, and to the point (in other words, super likable people... ;) )--they were VERY vocal about not having kids, and it was something we frequently talked about. We actually had just had a discussion on a Monday about how she couldn't imagine having a baby, blahblahblah, and on Wednesday, she told me she was pregnant. </p> <p>So yes, after blankly staring at her, asking if she was serious, and saying "no way," the next question was if they were planning it. That then led into a 30 minute freak out of how no, they hadn't. ;) Now, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't walk up to a random person or acquaintance/someone I am not as close with and ask them that...I do have SOME social filters... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383117 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 09:45:43 +0000 HLK208 383117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No! But people have asked me that :-/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383090 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 09:38:10 +0000 doxielove 383090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, no, no. So rude! If she wants to share that with me, fine, but I would never initiate that conversation!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383089 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 09:38:00 +0000 Mrsbells 383089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No I dont ask that. I thought it was really rude when people ask me that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383084 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 09:36:28 +0000 PurplePumps 383084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, I've never thought to ask if it was planned. I have to admit it may be a passing thought in my head though, if she is very young and unmarried or got married after getting pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383080 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 09:34:04 +0000 heartonastring 383080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I would never, ever ask that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383068 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 09:28:21 +0000 sotomorrow 383068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, because it's not my business. I got asked this a lot at work by patrons (I'm a librarian) and it was super awkward. I wasn't sure if they thought I didn't know how to use birth control or what... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383063 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 09:24:54 +0000 sslm 383063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No!! And please don't do this! I just wrote a blog post about this. I had a miscarriage back in march and I found these types of questions really awful, since I didn't exactly feel like telling everyone about my loss. </p> <p>You just don't know what others have been through. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383033 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 08:59:42 +0000 Mrs. Blue 383033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, never! A co-worker asked me right in front of my boss after I announced at work. I was super uncomfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-find-out-a-friend-is-pregnantdo-you-ever-ask-if-it-was-planned#post-383021 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 08:50:55 +0000 prettylizy 383021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, that seems pretty rude to me. I might tease a friend about it, but that's only if we're close </p>