https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 11:22:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382495 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 02:50:51 +0000 gracecat 2382495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD is the same way. She's 3 now and she will at least now try to hold onto a toy if a kid tries to take it from her but she will usually lose out and then just stand there and cry. It's heart breaking, but I'd rather that than she try to hit the kid or get violent. My DH tried to teach her to yell at the kid "stop it!" (if she is being pushed/hit) or what to say depending on the situation, but then she turned on him and started using it against daddy whenever she didn't want him to do something like change her pajamas! Hahaha... So now I'm not sure but I think we keep trying and hope that she improves with age. It has improved from when she was smaller of course. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382487 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 02:14:11 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2382487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD seems to avoid confrontation with other children. She's very playful, but non-aggressive. In observing her interactions with smaller children, she usually tries to avoid them when they try to take her toy away. If the kid is holding her, she stays still and is really careful about not touching them. I've noticed her being pushed by random older children on the playground and she basically just gives way or runs to me. </p> <p>There used to be an aggressive child her age in preschool and we encouraged her to say, "Stop! (with extended hand gesture) Don't push me." This also seems to be the common response they teach the kids at school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382480 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 01:33:27 +0000 lamariniere 2382480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is my son and he's nearly 5. I've told him it's ok to tell other children to stop bothering him or stop taking away toys, that if it's his turn, he is allowed to play with something, etc. I've also reminded him that we never retaliate with force and if things really get out of hand he should tell his teacher. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382474 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 00:33:34 +0000 HLK208 2382474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS was like this until he started kindergarten. He outgrew it and started sticking up for himself. It's so sad to see though :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382467 Wed, 09 Dec 2015 00:14:10 +0000 serenity207 2382467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not in the same boat but my heart hurt just imagining that. On one hand, maybe she really doesn't care enough to find it worthwhile to fight back. On the other hand, that still doesn't make it okay to be on the receiving end of the negative behavior!! No helpful advice here, but I feel for you. I do think though that you are giving her the verbal tools to know how to stand up for herself and, when the right time for her comes, she'll use them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382463 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 23:52:14 +0000 Corduroy 2382463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got this one for DD but they didn't have the picture option at the time. I think I'll get the same for DS and re-do the one for DD with a picture. I think I'll do them both after Christmas once I have a Christmas pic of DS.</p> <p><a href="http://www.personalizationmall.com/Personalized-Babys-First-Christmas-Ornaments-Babys-Age-2-Sided-i47398.item?productid=16033&#038;sdest=prodcat&#038;sdestid=22" rel="nofollow">http://www.personalizationmall.com/Personalized-Babys-First-Christmas-Ornaments-Babys-Age-2-Sided-i47398.item?productid=16033&#038;sdest=prodcat&#038;sdestid=22</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382444 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 23:15:09 +0000 Greentea 2382444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd go one of two ways. I'd teach her to embrace it- that she doesn't deserve to feel sad, so if someone treats her inappropriately, she has the right to say, "no thank you, you may play with this when I am finished," -IF that is going to make her feel better, otherwise I'd teach her to be like, "whatever, I don't need to fight, I can have fun with any toy."</p> <p>I like the nice kids/people, I think the only concern is that she doesn't deserve to have others making her feel bad, to me that's the only issue. So I'd help her find a way to embrace the choices she is making when dealing with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382442 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 23:09:22 +0000 Foodnerd81 2382442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pinkcupcake: no I absolutely get it. I mean, I don't want her taking toys from other kids, of course, but once in a while she will fight back if someone takes something from her and I'm like, good job, kid. But often she really does seem to think, alright if you care that much about that toy, fine, I'll play with this perfectly fine toy over here then. </p> <p>At this point, almost 2.5 years, she goes back and forth between letting kids take stuff from her and being the one who has to play with the exact toy someone else has. So I guess that's improvement?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382420 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 22:43:16 +0000 pinkcupcake 2382420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: I know this is weird to say, but I would love to see her take a toy from someone one day! I just want some reassurance that she can / will stand up for herself. </p> <p>@Mrs Green Grass: that's what my husband says - if she truly doesn't care, why does it matter? But I guess my worry is that it DOES bother her, she's just too scared / afraid / shy to say anything so she just acts like she's ok. Maybe I'm thinking too deeply into this... But it's been tough seeing how gentle and non confrontational she is, and how other kids react to that :(</p> <p>@Baby Boy Mom: thank you! I am glad she is a kind person and hope like you, as she grows older, she will surround herself with nice, kind ppl who will treat her the same way she does. </p> <p>@mrsjazz: thanks! Your post was so helpful! I try to model that with her when I see this happen, without being too pushy or involved. I'm hoping as she grows she will develop more confidence and be comfortable speaking up if something makes her uncomfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382379 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 21:56:27 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2382379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was like this for awhile and it worried DH, but it's improved with age (he's 3). I think modeling is the best bet. But if she truly doesn't care, does it matter? She might just think the other kids are more immature than her :). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382363 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 21:22:18 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2382363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is me, still. In time I learned to speak up and I don't think anyone who knows me as an adult would call me a pushover, at all. But I've also learned to surround myself with people who won't take advantage of my "niceness" so to speak. Try not to worry, just be conscious of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382354 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 21:14:56 +0000 yoursilverlining 2382354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is my LO and her daycare teachers have helped a lot - if they see someone taking something from LO, they (instead of addressing the taker) will tell LO to speak up and tell the friend "no thank you" "I'm using that" etc. and them consistently doing this has helped her to speak up for herself. </p> <p>This was also me as a kid. I was a people-pleaser and quiet. I still am. I'm not too worried about it, but I do encourage LO to speak up for herself and others if people are being mean or unfair. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382314 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 20:35:41 +0000 MrsSRS 2382314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you get her teachers on board? They could remind her to use her strong voice with pushy playmates. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382292 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 20:21:00 +0000 LindsayLou 2382292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a kid like that. I was quiet, sensitive, non-confrontational. I was also shy. Eventually I learned to stick up for myself, but it did take a few years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382285 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 20:00:12 +0000 mrsjazz 2382285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO was in a nanny share for the past year with her friend who is/was like your LO. OMG I felt like I had the worst kid in the beginning because her daughter is just the sweetest and totally non-confrontational.</p> <p>Her mom would talk to her in the moment--you probably can't be with her at daycare or for every moment, but if my LO grabbed something from her that she wanted or pushed her, etc.--she'd say something right then and there to her, like "I know you really wanted to play with that toy and Other Kid took it away from you. Do you still want to play with it? You can tell her that you still want to play with the toy and maybe she can have it after you've had your turn."</p> <p>She'd do this without scolding but just continuously correct. And she'd do little role plays with her (seriously). She would also model the behavior with her husband, just being assertive and standing for what you want without being aggressive.</p> <p>Over the year I noticed her LO sticking up for herself. And this didn't change her personality--she is still the sweet and non-confrontational kid--but she will speak up for herself more. It just takes time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382282 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 19:57:41 +0000 Foodnerd81 2382282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is a little like this too. I'm glad she can be easy going but I don't want her to be a pushover. However she definitely has her moments where she is the one taking toys or whatever so I am not too worried about it. She's just generally more laid back I hope. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382255 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 19:22:38 +0000 fancyfunction 2382255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh - I can relate. M will be 3 in a few days and it makes me so upset when I see other kids just take something from her. She just looks on and doesn't seem bothered it but it makes me so upset for her. She's definitely more of the quiet, non-confrontational kind (just like me) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382254 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 19:22:34 +0000 autumnlove 2382254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is almost 4 and she has the same type of personality. I encourage her to be more assertive with her little sister and friends but it is not a huge concern of mine right now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382252 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 19:19:06 +0000 mrsrain 2382252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is only 1.5, but I am pretty sure this is our future. She is sweet and kind, lives to share, and more aggressive kids are already taking advantage of that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382249 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 19:17:54 +0000 BrandNewMom 2382249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I read an article about this, once! I feel like it said ultra easygoing kids like this have high emotional intelligence?<br /> Anyway, it definitely said kids like that are not destined to be doormats. They just understand picking and choosing their battles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-you-have-the-nice-kid#post-2382242 Tue, 08 Dec 2015 19:06:41 +0000 pinkcupcake 2382242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like an odd problem, but this is something I've been struggling with for awhile.</p> <p>My 3.5 year is a really, really nice kid. She's gentle and very non-confrontational. If someone takes something she was playing with, she'll just look at them, look sad, and walk away to find something else to play with. If someone pushes her, or hits her, she looks hurt and again walks away without ever retaliating. </p> <p>I've told her repeatedly (kindly and in a supportive tone) that if anyone takes something she was playing with, or is not nice to her, she can tell him/her "excuse me, I was playing with that" and she doesn't have to give it up. I've told her to talk to her teacher and let her know if she is having a hard time with someone. But my daughter will just tell me that it's okay, she would rather play with something else. </p> <p>This makes me so sad. Of course, I'm happy that I have a kind and well-behaved child, and would definitely prefer this behavior to aggressive behavior, but there are times when I'm afraid she will never learn to speak up or will get bullied by the more aggressive kids :(</p> <p>Not really sure what the point of this was... I guess just wondering if any other mamas have struggled with this, and if so, do you have any tips or advice on how I can help her speak up more :( </p>