https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 12:51:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997973 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 22:18:17 +0000 mjane 997973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always wonder why I don't see more posts like this on the boards!! We have both been off all summer since she was born in late may, but September is starting to seem muuuuuuch closer. That's when he goes back. I know we have been incredibly lucky and he got more time off than most maternity leave policies, but I am straight up TERRIFIED. She won't even be a newborn anymore, and she's a pretty chill baby, but still! I feel like a huge wuss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997957 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 21:57:24 +0000 Kemma 997957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Get rid of any expectations and just do what you have to do to survive!!</p> <p>Figure out what your priorities are (eat, sleep, shower etc) and work those in to your day first. For example my priorities were eating and showering, I could scarf down oatmeal while holding LO but I jumped in the shower as soon as she was asleep. I made sure I put LO down on a blanket or in her bouncer each day so she could get used to not being held which in turn helped me get other stuff done as she got older. I made myself a schedule for housework and laundry and did one task each morning so I could just veg out in the afternoons. I also tried to go on an outing every second day just to get a change of scene.</p> <p>And if all else fails, just throw on a DVD and park up on the couch for the day!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997874 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 21:14:54 +0000 autumnlove 997874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was nervous about it but it was easier than I expected! Good luck...you will do great! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997866 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 21:12:45 +0000 googly-eyes 997866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just try to get through the first few months. I think I put too much pressure on myself to adjust after DH's three weeks off and of course shortly after that we got to the six week fussy peak. Just know that if you can just get through each day it will be easier and you will find a rhythm naturally. I think the stress from trying to force some sense of a routine is more stressful than the routine is helpful in the very beginning.<br /> @Anagram: Good luck! Remember, it's ok if baby cries. All babies cry. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997854 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 21:09:20 +0000 Maysprout 997854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: Yeah, it's tricky. You don't want to impose your LOs tears on others but it's not fair to new moms to have to stay cooped up either. Maybe think of it as learning to drive, you'll make some mistakes and get some dirty looks but you have to get out there and practice in order to get it right. You'll figure out where are good places to take LO to calm them down and when you need to step out. But just be confident that no ones being dramatically affected by your or LOs presence and it's something everyone has to figure out at some point.<br /> @MamaMoose: Thanks :wink: I save it for the people who just seem like they have nothing better to do with their lives than to complain about others, they need to get an intimidating look back once in awhile. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997849 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 21:06:36 +0000 Bookish 997849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Many sympathies, dear! I have had a breakdown a week since DH went back to work :/ There are a few things that help. I have DH help me a bit in the morning, even if it's just changing her diaper before he leaves. He also comes home at lunch to keep me company. It's only like 20 mins, but I can usually pee and scarf down a lunch! Buying a carrier also helped; when she is in her needy mood, I can pop her in it and get at least my arms back! Lastly, I set myself one goal a day. Today, it was doing a load of laundry. At first I tried to do everything, and it was overwhelming. Just picking one or two chores a day has kept me sane and my house fairly clean.</p> <p>Hang in there, we can do this!!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997767 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 20:29:55 +0000 deerylou 997767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: Hahaha, awesome. We took a walk to our local library yesterday, and DD pitched a fit while I was in the non-fiction section. Her cries rang out in a very silent little library, and I definitely got a few stares. An older gentleman actually came up to my stroller and said, "Little missie, this is a library." I booked it (har hae) out of there, but I think that was just a case of first-public-screaming-session jitters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997755 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 20:26:57 +0000 MamaMoose 997755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: bahahahah. I just lol'd at your look description! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997740 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 20:21:17 +0000 Maysprout 997740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: Oh, I would not have done an hour drive. Ours was a 20-30 min walk so she slept for most of that anyways. Or I could just drive the 5 minutes in. For getting out of the house at first I had help. My sisters visited a lot the first couple weeks and I knew a SAHM so she came over some and they didn't really do anything while we were out but I guess just having someone else there gave me more confidence in getting out - really if people offer to help take them up on it. When I realized I could do it, it made a big difference. Also we didn't plan big trips, we were out about 2 hours tops and usually a lot shorter. </p> <p>Most strangers when we were out were really helpful in holding doors if I overestimated what I could carry with a newborn. I did get a few stink eyes when baby would get fussy but you know what F them, baby calmed down, it barely affected them and I can't stay in the house so I perfected a raised eyebrow 'oh you do not want to give me that look' look to give back to them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997714 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 20:12:28 +0000 deerylou 997714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the support, ladies! It's nice to know there are others going through similar feelings of panic, haha.</p> <p>@Pepper: I think I will try waking up at the same time each day. DD usually sleeps for a longer stretch in the morning, so I could potentially have some "me" time, thrown in there. A shower would be nice, at the very least!</p> <p>@rahlyrah: Oh my goodness, I am crossing my fingers for you you! I couldn't imagine an entire week on my own, just yet. Do you have any family or friends in the area that will be able to stop by and check in on you?</p> <p>@Maysprout: I am trying to stay busy, for sure. DH commutes into work about an hour away, and I'm still too much of a wimp to make that drive with LO, on my own. I am just now working up the courage to venture out into town with her, solo. In good time!</p> <p>@Anagram: Our daughters are super close in age; mine will be 4 weeks on Tuesday! I am quite proud of you for cooking dinner, myself - DH has yet to experience a hot meal upon arriving home, so far.</p> <p>@Foodnerd81: Good idea. Just gotta take it one day at a time. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you tomorrow - just think, tomorrow is already Thursday, so Saturday is closer than you think! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997709 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 20:11:42 +0000 MamaMoose 997709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: I hear ya. Honestly I think he only got away with it because weeks 4 and 5 of LO's life were Christmas and New Years weeks which are really slow for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997696 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 20:07:27 +0000 Foodnerd81 997696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: Dh is going back to work tomorrow and I already had a teeny breakdown thinking about it! C is only 9 days old and I have a feeling she is sleepier than she will be. I just keep reminding myself that I only have to get through tomorrow. Don't think about the whole next week or month. </p> <p>At least well be going through it all at the same time :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997688 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 20:04:47 +0000 Anagram 997688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: my husband started back to work this week too....and our daughter is 4 weeks on Monday. It IS hard....my husband lovingly gave me shit when he got home from work and I was still in the pants and tank top I slept in last night. </p> <p>BUT I managed to cook dinner today before he got home and that is a major accomplishment with a newborn, so I'm super proud of myself.</p> <p>Honestly, I don't have any tips as I'm just figuring it out, too. But I have sympathy because it's HARD. Honestly, I'm just trying to survive. I'm lucky if I take care of the absolutely necessary things (like calling and faxing forms to get my daughter added to my insurance) or cooking 1 meal (which I accomplished by starting at about 2 in the afternoon and doing in tiny bits---- trimming and cutting the chicken, then after the next time my babe was sleeping browning the chicken, then around 5 pm adding some veggies to a pot, adding the chicken, and pouring in a premade Thai spice packet. </p> <p>I could have done that all in 25 minutes without a baby, but with a baby it's such a huge task.</p> <p>Tomorrow my whole plans for the day are to go pick up my baby's birth certificate and to attend a breastfeeding support group---super daunting as its my first long outing alone with my baby--- and first time driving in the car with her alone. It's scary! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997683 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 20:02:20 +0000 Maysprout 997683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got mastitis and a fever so he had to take off again :wink:<br /> We stayed really busy. We went to visit him a lot at lunch, had lots of visitors over (I have no qualms about asking people who visit to do me a favor or hold baby while I get something done so it was helpful sometimes to have guests), and stayed outside a lot, I got back into working out slowly - when DH walked in the door he got handed the baby so I could have a break and run and shower. When we were home I baby wore her so I could do other things around the house. I kept a radio or music on also when it was just me at home as a sort of distraction from oh my another poopy diaper. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997682 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 20:00:55 +0000 Ra 997682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you figure it out, please let me know! My husband works from home, but he flies out to California for a week a month. He leaves on Monday leaving me alone with a newborn for a whole week! I have no idea how I'm going to eat, shower, and pump 8 times a day!</p> <p>Good luck my love. At the very least, know I'm in the trenches with you. Misery loves company, right? :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997679 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 19:59:27 +0000 Pepper 997679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This sounds a lot like what I go through with DS. There are days when I have totally missed lunch due to a fussy baby. </p> <p>Getting into a routine has helped me. I try to wake up at the same time every day, and I schedule stuff for me around his feedings and naps. When he falls asleep for a nap in the morning, I'm usually holding him, but I'll put him in his RnP so I can clean pump parts, grab something to eat/drink, start a load of laundry, etc. During an afternoon nap, I'll try to sleep when he sleeps. During his evening nap, I'll hold him while he sleeps and watch TV. </p> <p>Basically, I just try to survive! I text and talk on the phone with people as much as I can to keep my sanity. I've been spending a lot of time at my moms house during the afternoons, and that has been nice because she holds him while he sleeps so I can get bills done/eat/etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997677 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 19:58:34 +0000 deerylou 997677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: Thanks for the sympathy! &lt;3 Yeah, we're just at the three week point now, and I was seriously straddling the edge on sanity this past Sunday. Unfortunately, DH and I don't have careers that encourage any work-from-home benefits. We're either there in person, or not getting paid. Hmph! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997676 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 19:56:34 +0000 MamaMoose 997676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly I had a break down at 3 weeks and BEGGED my husband not to go back. He ended up working from home until she was 5 weeks old and I don't know what I would have done without him. So I have no advice but lots of sympathy for how hard it is to care for a newborn! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-husband-returns-to-work-how-to-adjust#post-997667 Wed, 07 Aug 2013 19:51:00 +0000 deerylou 997667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH went back to work this week, and it's been...an interesting adjustment, to say the least. ;)</p> <p>All along, I knew my husband had been an enormous source of support, love, and assistance, but I didn't realize how shocking it would feel to do it *all* on my own. I mean, even having the ability to pee at my own leisure, or lean on an extra set of hands to hold a squirming baby while I finished scarfing down a sandwich - what luxuries of the past, man!</p> <p>DD is a fairly good baby, but has started fussing more, sleeping less, and developed her first (mild) diaper rash yesterday. I feel like my head is spinning 11/12 hours we are here at the house, without DH. I have fallen behind on my pumping schedule (and with my major supply issues, this really sucks), barely have time to eat a square meal, and desperately need a hairstylist to figure out this mop I've been sporting. Forget cleaning my house, taking anything longer than a 5 second shower before catapulting my naked body towards a screaming baby, or merely opening the new book I borrowed from the library. Psh.</p> <p>I seriously love my daughter, and know it will eventually get easier, but every day has felt like Groundhog Day!</p> <p>Any tricks of the trade? Advice on how to multitask? How do you keep your sanity when you're at home, alone, with an infant? </p>