https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 19:31:19 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101687 Tue, 10 Mar 2015 00:51:40 +0000 lamariniere 2101687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: I try to do the same. My son is fascinated by motorized wheelchairs and has asked very loudly "what is that" when he sees them. I've always told him that some people just need a little help getting around because their legs are sick or aren't strong enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101642 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 23:04:52 +0000 sarac 2101642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try to just give the correct information in a non judgmental/overly emotional way. And I try to think about how the person would reply if she asked them. So for a person using a wheelchair, recently, I said 'well, some people use wheelchairs because they're very tired, or they're feeling quite sick, or their legs need help working'. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101620 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 22:34:34 +0000 brownie 2101620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: I'm not sure how old your little one is... but my son is almost 4 and has just started asking if food has soy (his allergen) in it. They learn so quickly.</p> <p>As for special needs, I think your answer was perfect. Anything that makes it more "normal". My son has always been at inclusion schools and we have never had a question I think because to him is normal. And we never set out to put him in inclusion schools but that is what was available to us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101589 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 22:11:26 +0000 MrsRcCar 2101589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>N doesn't talk much but we have been at the childrens hospital a lot ( :meh: ) lately. So he sees special needs kids while we are there. He looks a bit confused at first but I just let him know to go play that they are just fine to play with. To be fair tho, he does this with all kids. I usually chat up the parents about how old their LO is, where they are from, that sort of thing. Sometimes if I am unclear I ask about their child's special need. All the parents I have met have been beyond awesome and greatful at our behavior. One Mum told me that it was refreshing to see my son treating her son like any other child. :heart: I am hoping to raise my boys to look past any disability and see the person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101575 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 22:01:36 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2101575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: "let's go talk to her and find out!"</p> <p>And if that won't work in the moment, I'll explain what the basic gist is and encourage them to learn more about it. At this point they are very interested in disabilities. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101491 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 21:08:41 +0000 Torchwood 2101491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the above advice is good. I did read an article recently titled something like "I am not your teachable moment," so I would be careful about engaging the person themselves if they don't seem comfortable, or talking about them too loudly. I think it's better to talk about it later if you can't give a quick answer. Just be sure to actually talk about it later so LO knows that when you tell them that they need to wait to talk about it, you really aren't just dismissing them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101490 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 21:08:27 +0000 MrsSCB 2101490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's a bad thing if she heard, I think what you did was exactly right. My dad has told me a story about when I was little and asked really loudly, "why is that man in a chair?" about someone using a wheelchair on the elevator we were on. My dad said in a normal tone of voice, "well, he uses the wheelchair to help him get around," and the guy actually spoke up and said, "I'm glad you explained it so freely. So many people just shush their kids and that makes me feel more awkward." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101489 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 21:04:23 +0000 MamaG 2101489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO has only questioned the motorized cart at the grocery (she wanted to use it). I explained that it's for people that have something wrong and can't walk very well. This weekend we saw a Mule (golf cart type thing) and when I told her it was a Mule, she said, that's for poeple who have legs that aren't very strong, like me, I have strong legs!</p> <p>Oddly enough, my husband is blind in one eye due to injury and she has never questioned it. It's visible that something is wrong with his eye (isn't basically half squinted shut all the time). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101488 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 21:04:15 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2101488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think your response was perfectly appropriate. </p> <p>As a mom of a child with special needs, my opinion is that it's best to:</p> <p>- answer the question directly without passing judgement (not, oh how sad, she can't walk like us)<br /> - if you don't know the answer, state that you're not sure (what the device is/why the person is acting that way)</p> <p>if the person (or parent of the person) catches your eye, I would smile and try to gauge their interest in engaging your child directly. I always try to be as open as possible with inquisitive kids - special needs are nothing to be ashamed of or hidden, in my opinion.</p> <p>If the person is far away or appears uninterested in engaging with you, I would continue to try to answer the questions as objectively as possible, possibly ending with "everyone is different, everyone has different bodies that can do different things!" or some other kind of neutral statement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101474 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 20:57:17 +0000 jedeve 2101474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: somewhat different, but my LO had allergies and I have always been up front with him about what he can't eat. My MIL used to say "oh that's yucky, you wouldn't like it" and I would jump in and tell him "no you can't est that, it will make your belly hurt" (he vomits and gets hives on his stomach, so that's how he thinks of it, although it is more wee wee than a stomach ache.) I need him to understand ASAP not all foods are safe for him to eat. I'm not going to sugar coat it for him! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101263 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 18:40:38 +0000 HabesBabe 2101263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try to answer truthfully and factually, but age-appropriate (so how you responded is probably something I would say). I think kids are honestly curious at that age, especially when they see something unusual/different than they are used to. They don't think it's a bad thing, and how we react pushes them in one direction or another. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101250 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 18:29:59 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2101250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also want to read along. I'm so nervous about kids asking LO about why he isn't eating similar things to what they are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101200 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 18:01:57 +0000 getjazzy 2101200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want to read along because LO isn't talking enough to ask those sorts of questions yet but I want to make sure that I have thoughtful answers for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101169 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 17:48:44 +0000 sorrycharlie 2101169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw one of those viral blog posts about this and the Mom said she wanted other parents to ask questions and not skirt the issue. But I'm sure everyone is different, which makes it hard!</p> <p>I will probably reply like you - matter of factly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-asks-about-special-needs#post-2101163 Mon, 09 Mar 2015 17:46:04 +0000 jedeve 2101163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has your LO asked you about someone else's special needs? (Piggy backing on the library thread). </p> <p>At mass yesterday, LO saw a woman in a wheelchair and started yelling, "what's that lady doing?" (To be fair, he asks that question about anyone and anything all the time.) I told him she uses a wheelchair to get around, like he used his shoes to get around. </p> <p>I was worried she heard, but I also didn't want to shush him and inadvertently teach him disabilities were bad or something. </p> <p>Has this happened to you? How did you handle it? </p>