https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Jul 2026 05:14:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-doesnt-want-to-participate#post-2217019 Wed, 24 Jun 2015 09:23:34 +0000 Rockies11 2217019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine is younger than yours, but she's the same way. I felt like she should be in a structured activity, so I signed her up for gymnastics. It has been a disaster! She refuses to do anything at all, and the class is only 45 minutes long. Since I am on a long mat leave, I have done some experimenting and found out that activity wise she does best in a largely unstructured activity with a very small group (like 2 or 3 other kids). Otherwise she will just sit there and watch. We found a really empty gymboree class, and she's a lot happier in that. I think with her it's a personality thing - she's really introverted and doesn't have much interest in following directions yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-doesnt-want-to-participate#post-2216913 Wed, 24 Jun 2015 07:36:41 +0000 honeybear 2216913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pancakes: I understand, especially about the pressure to enroll LO in classes. They're super popular here too, and sometimes I feel like we're the odd ones out since we don't do them. However, after seeing LO try them and seeing what he does and asks to do when he is free from lots of externally-imposed structure, I'm very comfortable saying that it's the right decision for us. Everyone needs time to explore, think, and process things on their own. Which is to say that I think the preschool-only plan for the fall is a good one. </p> <p>Best of luck this morning and the rest of the week, but if she still doesn't enjoy it maybe you could suggest to your husband that he do special weekend "soccer practice" with your LO in the backyard or at the park instead? My husband has taken this approach to introducing his favorite sport and our son LOVES it. I think that a one-on-one setting with a parent is the ideal way to learn and hone skills at this age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-doesnt-want-to-participate#post-2216876 Wed, 24 Jun 2015 06:20:37 +0000 Pancakes 2216876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: We had done a lot of those things before signing her up for dance class. We live in an area where just about every sort of class or activity you could think of is available and most of her classmates are enrolled in multiple activities, so it just seemed natural to enroll DD in something too.</p> <p>@honeybear: Yes, this was the last sort of organized sport thing we had her signed up for. DH was just really excited for her to try it. She will be in preschool four mornings a week in the fall, and I had already decided that she doesn't need anything else on top of that. Unfortunately I don't think DH would be on board with skipping the rest of soccer camp, but we will see how this morning goes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-doesnt-want-to-participate#post-2216875 Wed, 24 Jun 2015 06:20:29 +0000 looch 2216875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was like this, we went to soccer skills and he hated it. We finished out the class and then we took a break from it. He expressed interest in a gymnastics program (tried out as part of a birthday party) and I brought him to a trial class. He didn't want to do participate in the trial class, so I didn't end up signing him up.</p> <p>The issue for me is the winters...I thought enrolling him in a class on Saturday morning would help get his wiggles out and break up the day when we can't spend it outside. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-doesnt-want-to-participate#post-2216868 Wed, 24 Jun 2015 05:48:26 +0000 honeybear 2216868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pancakes: Sounds like that's the answer! And I can commiserate, because my son often doesn't like to take direction from me either. ;) It's definitely infuriating, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel! He became a lot better about listening to me as he got closer to 5. Since she enjoys free play, I'd say she's exhibiting totally normal behavior and let her stick with that. There is plenty of time later for classes. </p> <p>My approach this past year was to stop group classes in favor of doing more "field trips" to places that fit with his current interests and even more frequent jaunts to the park/beach to run off the energy. I don't think that taking direction in a group class setting like most preschool/extracurricular classes is essential at this point, so I wouldn't sweat it. I think it would be fine to decide not to return to soccer camp, if that's a possibility from a childcare perspective. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-doesnt-want-to-participate#post-2216824 Tue, 23 Jun 2015 23:26:39 +0000 sarac 2216824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just assume that she isn't interested in that kind of adult led activity and move on. My three year old would find it irritating in the extreme, so I don't bother with sports classes for her. If she's interested in dance, you could take her to the ballet, try doing some at home, encourage her in pretend play around it. There are tons of other ways to engage in her interests besides an adult directed class. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-doesnt-want-to-participate#post-2216803 Tue, 23 Jun 2015 21:56:50 +0000 brownie 2216803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you have a mygym they have a good amount of free play and instruction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-doesnt-want-to-participate#post-2216800 Tue, 23 Jun 2015 21:39:21 +0000 Pancakes 2216800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@honeybear: she does much better with free play. It could definitely be an issue with taking direction...she certainly doesn't like to take it from me! :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-doesnt-want-to-participate#post-2216745 Tue, 23 Jun 2015 19:34:39 +0000 honeybear 2216745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How does she do when you take her to the playground or outside for free play? I wonder if maybe it's the direction that she doesn't enjoy? I think that (the not liking being told what to do) is typical of 4 year-olds, at least in my recent experience with one. </p> <p>Also, my LO likes doing group activities, but only for a limited period of time. Then he wants to do his own thing for a while, which I've noticed generally involves repeating and mulling over a lot of what he's just done or learned ... a preschooler soliloquy, if you will. Maybe that's part of what is going on? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-doesnt-want-to-participate#post-2216738 Tue, 23 Jun 2015 19:32:22 +0000 Pancakes 2216738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: She had wanted to do ballet, but once we started, she wanted to quit. :bummed: She says she wants to do music classes again, but when we did music class, she always complained that she didn't want to go. So I really don't know what she would actually want to do. She loves reading and imaginative play. I just don't want her to miss out on experiences because she doesn't want to try something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-doesnt-want-to-participate#post-2216710 Tue, 23 Jun 2015 18:43:02 +0000 mrbee 2216710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pancakes: Are there any activities that she expresses interest in? We started reading ballet books after my daughter got really into princesses, and she really wanted to take ballet classes after that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-lo-doesnt-want-to-participate#post-2216704 Tue, 23 Jun 2015 18:31:16 +0000 Pancakes 2216704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We signed our 4-year-old DD up for a week of mini soccer camp with another friend from preschool. It's just an hour and a half every day this week. Today when I came to pick her up, she was just sitting on the grass watching the other kids. I asked her coach if she had done that the whole time, and he made it sound like she had been sitting out for maybe half. He said she was tired from the heat, but when I asked DD about it, she said she just didn't like the games. I felt disappointed that she wasn't trying it, but I'm not sure what the appropriate reaction is (I tend to overreact...). I don't want her to sit out the whole week of camp, obviously.</p> <p>We just went through something similar with dance, where she said she wanted to do it, and after a couple lessons, all I heard about was how she didn't like dance. Since we had just invested in all of the shoes, leotard, tights, etc. we told her she had to stick it out through the recital. It was like pulling teeth to get through the recital but in the end she said the recital was really fun. (But I won't be signing her up for dance again until she's older, if she asks to do it again).</p> <p>I want to respect her autonomy if she doesn't like something, but she's also a kid with a lot of whims! </p>