https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 03:35:16 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490845 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:47:21 +0000 rattles 2490845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He's rarely home before bedtime. If he is, they swarm him and I finish making dinner uninterrupted at least. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490841 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:44:48 +0000 fussygal 2490841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH gets really dirty at work so he comes in and spend about 5 minutes saying hi to DD before he takes a shower. I selfishly wish he didn't have to take a shower because even though it's only 20 minutes, it can be rough -- DD is getting hangry (as am I!) and we're both anxious to hangout with DH.</p> <p>After he's out of the shower he's usually "on duty" while I make dinner, although I go out and play with them when I can. After dinner we both play with her until her bedtime ~90 minutes later. DH goes to bed shortly after (long and early work hours), so he doesn't always get a ton of alone time, but he usually plays on his phone to decompress in bed for a while before falling asleep. I usually stay up until 10 or 11 so I have plenty of time to myself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490825 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:37:22 +0000 autumnlove 2490825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He usually gets home after they are asleep so we relax together. He helps with the kids if he gets home early. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490820 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:34:09 +0000 looch 2490820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only way it works for us is for neither of us to get a break while our son is awake. To me, cooking or folding laundry is not a break, though.</p> <p>We tried to switch off days and it never worked, my son had preferences, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490810 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:30:05 +0000 catomd00 2490810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I worked part time, the days I stayed home DH got time to change his clothes and then he was on duty for the next hour or so, so I could relax before cooking dinner. We both work FT now and I do all the drop offs and pick ups, so when he gets home he still changes and then it's my turn to relax since I sat in traffic entertaining DD so she didn't scream or listening to her scream for an hour, then play with her for 30-60 minutes when we get home and need some space to shower and relax for a minutes before cooking dinner. Personally, we mostly both see work as our break from DD and don't usually feel the need for much away time once we get home and decompress after she goes to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490799 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:25:57 +0000 FaithFertility 2490799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>On nights DH works he doesn't get home until 7:30 so no break for me, if DD is still in bedtime routine he will take over so he can see her for a few!<br /> If he is off, then when I get off work he will cook and I keep DD entertained but he will then do bed time as I xaken and start my shower! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490781 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:20:04 +0000 ElbieKay 2490781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get home first and hang out with our son for about an hour. So, when my husband gets home I figure it's his turn! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490754 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:06:27 +0000 SweetiePie 2490754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I SAH. When my husband gets home I'd say 75% of the time DS is still awake. He'll usually take 10 mins to change and use the bathroom/freshen up. Then the 3 of us hang during dinner and bedtime. (DS dinner, we eat separately). But every so often I need to run an errand or just chill and he'll oblige.<br /> I think for us we realized that if things are really assigned it starts to feel too much like a task and we feel resentful. So each day we sort of gauge who needs what and do as much as we can together and let it happen organically. If he had a really bad day at work I'm fine just letting him veg a while longer. If DS was particularly challenging he'll tell me to go relax and he'll do everything from dinner to bath to bedtime. We really speak up!<br /> BUT we both get lots of downtime once DS is in bed which is often by 6:30, always by 7pm. And my husband is often only home for 30 mins or less before bedtime so he gladly steps in. So I think neither of us feels too deprived.<br /> I think if we both felt we needed downtime and weren't getting it, we would designate a certain night each week to be off duty. Or, it sounds like your DH gets home kinda early. I'd maybe let him have till 5/5:15 by himself and then ask for him to step in so I could take a breather while dinner is simmering/baking/etc. (I don't cook much so I don't know if that's even possible). Or ask him to def take over bedtime or bath and chill then.<br /> It sounds like you guys have already broached the subject, so I would try to have a conversation. I'd say "we both deserve and need some time off. Let's figure out a solution that works for everyone" and maybe brainstorm ideas. Figure out how much time is enough. Where can that time fit. Is he willing to take on more some days for a payout of more free time other days. Etc.<br /> Hope this makes sense since I'm on phone typing quickly! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490748 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:02:33 +0000 pinkcupcake 2490748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, he gets bombarded by our daughter the minute he gets home - she misses him so much throughout the day that she throws herself into him the second he walks in. </p> <p>But he likes playing with her so immediately after changing, he will get on the floor and play with her. He said it's a break to him after work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490741 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 15:58:36 +0000 lemondrop 2490741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He gets to change and go to the bathroom, then the kids are his to either take to the gym or take outside to play. I'm either cooking dinner or cooking dinner and rushing to work and doing lesson prep, so he doesn't expect much from me during that time of day. He gets more time to himself if I don't have to work and we are going out to dinner that night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490700 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 15:35:25 +0000 DesertDreams88 2490700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When DH gets home, I nurse LO or finish nursing him and hand him off for a diaper change and nap (which requires some work on DH'S part, to get him to sleep and then stay sleeping). Then I do 2 of the 3 following: shower, pump, and/or nap. Then for the rest of the evening, DH gets a break when I'm nursing, which is about 30 min every 2 hrs in the evening. The last nursing session, though, DH is responsible for getting us "ready" for bed - cell phones plugged in, house picked up, water bottles and lunches prepared, contacts out and glasses on, clothes laid out, etc </p> <p>We only have 1 kid though, 6 weeks old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490682 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 15:27:33 +0000 jmarionsmith 2490682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, though I'm sleeping for most of it! DH gets home at 6:30 am and the kids wake up sometime between then and 7. So he will get them as they wake up and let me sleep for another hour or so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490672 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 15:22:43 +0000 Mama Bird 2490672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, not a good idea in my family. We've traded places for the moment, but when DH is at work he gets very stressed and the last thing I want is to add to that when he walks through the door. Now I'm the one working and he also tries to sit me down and feed me before I go play with the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490565 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:45:24 +0000 runnerd 2490565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think that him hanging with the kids while you cook dinner or do laundry is a break for you!! If your "break" is you still working, he can't really say he needs some downtime first IMO </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490558 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:42:30 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2490558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I woh part time, but DD goes with me so we are always together. When DH gets home before bedtime DD will sit in his lap or play on the floor in whatever room he is in while I finish cooking. It's not really a break though because I'm still doing something. We have a system where if I'm working he's working and vice versa. For example while I finish up dinner he's on baby duty and when I'm nursing her before bed he's cleaning the kitchen. Then we both get to relax once she's asleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490551 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:40:15 +0000 winniebee 2490551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He walks in the door right before dinner (6). So, he usually runs upstairs and changes, and then we eat as a family. Right after dinner, he bathes the kids and I start cleaning up from dinner. He puts T to bed and I usually put R to bed. R takes no time, so then I run downstairs and finish cleaning up....then make lunches for next day. By that time, both kids are asleep. I usually shower and then we relax for an hour before we go to bed. That's the evening. No real break, but c'est la vie.</p> <p>If he gets home early, he'll usually play with the boys while I'm already cooking. He very rarely gets home before I'm prepping dinner, so I don't get a break anyways. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490549 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:40:11 +0000 JerricaBenton 2490549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mostly plan so we sit down to dinner as soon as he gets home. But on the occasion he's home early he'll definitely play with lo or take her outside so I can start dinner. It's tough because they need a break too. If your dh is home at 4:15 though, I don't think it's too much to ask for hI'm to relax a bit and play with/watch lo so you can do something . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490536 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:37:25 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2490536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get a break to go to the bathroom alone. Inevitably my three year old has to gorightthentoo!!<br /> Not much of a break. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490531 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:35:27 +0000 AB810 2490531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH normally gets home after the baby is asleep and right as I'm tucking the toddler in. He normally takes over story time then though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490528 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:35:13 +0000 avivoca 2490528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say that you should get a few minutes to yourself as a break right when he gets home (let the man pee first or something) and his can follow after you've had maybe 20-30 minutes to yourself. That's what I ask for if I'm home with H all day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490520 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:33:24 +0000 brownepiano 2490520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm horrible at giving him a break! DH gets home and I pretty much finish supper or leave to work. DS is a complete momma's boy so DH is usually trying to get him to give me some space to finish cooking. But DS goes to bed at 6:30 and we both have our own down time then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490518 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:32:45 +0000 Anagram 2490518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Neither of us takes a break on the reg. I mean, right now we both WOH, but even on summer break when I'm home, he generally comes home and jumps right in. We typically divide and conquer--we each take one girl and do whatever it takes to get them in bed asleep.</p> <p>But my DH gets home later, around 7 pm, just in time for the bath/bed rush. Maybe if he was home at 4:15, we would try to take breaks? I don't know.</p> <p>You guys could do an every-other-day thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490501 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:28:33 +0000 snowjewelz 2490501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I WOH, DH does too technically but he's always home before me. I have to relieve him so he can finish cooking dinner. In a situation where there's no dinner needed, I'll still relief him. I think we both understand how tiring solo parenting can be. I used to be bitter thinking, "Hey, I worked all day too, you don't think I need a break?" But then I love spending time w/ DD anyway, so I've let that go.</p> <p>Neither of us really get a break until she's down for the night! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490478 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:23:25 +0000 gingerbebe 2490478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I don't get personal downtime until DS is in bed for the night at 730pm. We never talked about it, its just the way its always been.</p> <p>Basically, when DH walks in the door, he's Dad. Some days DH doesn't even get to change out of his work clothes before he's "on." I need a few minutes without the toddler to get dinner on the table or load the dishwasher and so DH usually takes over distracting DS until I'm ready. Then DH is in charge of bathtime, PJs, and bedtime books while I run around wiping down the kitchen, setting up for the next day, and running laundry, etc. </p> <p>But I don't see this as a break for me, I see it as team parenting until DS is down for the night, then each of us can do what we want. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490475 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:22:44 +0000 Andrea 2490475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He gets home after both kids are asleep so I'm already chilling out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490472 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:22:16 +0000 MrsBrewer 2490472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When DH gets home on the days that I don't work. He will normally go and change into something comfy, throw the ball in the back yard for the dogs for a little bit, and then take over playing with DD until dinner is ready. We eat together, then he plays with her after dinner while I clean up. We have a little bit of family time, then she goes down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490460 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:19:11 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2490460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm. Usually when DH gets home he goes upstairs to change and ds goes with him. I'm usually finishing up getting dinner ready. He often will take him out to the store in the evenings too if we need something and I'll stay home. </p> <p>He doesn't really get a "break" until ds goes to bed (at 8pm) but I don't think he minds because he's a night owl and stays up until at least 11 and I'm in bed by 10. So he has alone time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2490457 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:18:06 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2490457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. But DH is out of town Monday-Thursday so he gets breaks Mon, Tues, and Wed evenings after work while I'm essentially a single parent for 3.5 days. So I think it is totally fair to give myself a break when he gets home Thursday evenings! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/when-your-so-gets-home-from-work#post-2488497 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 14:15:00 +0000 Bao 2488497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you get a break, or ask for a break? </p> <p>We have been trying to figure out what is fair in regards to this lately. My stress level has been pretty high in life overall lately, and by 4:15pm when DH gets home I'm itching for some space. Sometimes it's to prep dinner while he hangs with the girls outside, or I'll go up and fold laundry while they hang out in the living room. </p> <p>However, DH just mentioned he doesn't mind giving me a break but he wants a few minutes to do things he wants to do as well. So we need some help finding a healthy balance. Input? </p>