https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 03 Jun 2026 19:00:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1208244 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 10:39:57 +0000 MrsKoala 1208244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Confetti: I love love that video! </p> <p>I'd say my self esteem comes from knowing my worth finally. After second guessing myself for most of my 20s, I feel like I truly know who I am and my value to others. Knowing this makes me feel good about myself and about what I contribute to the world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1208233 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 10:37:08 +0000 bushelandapeck 1208233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A great question...I think for me I do put too much emphasis on body size to determine how I feel about myself. This comes from having a father who put a lof of empahsis on how I looked and making sure I wasn't overwieght. I think I also get some of my self asteem now because of my field (Social Work) and I really enjoy being able to help people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1208054 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 09:31:36 +0000 yoursilverlining 1208054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a great (and hard to answer!) question!</p> <p>My self esteem is healthy – I think it’s fairly average, and I try to be kind to myself, always.</p> <p>I realized that it is super important to rely on yourself for your self esteem and not others after the incredibly bad and painful breakup of my first serious/living-together relationship. I was a complete mess when we broke up, and realized that I had put way too much stock into him, and his opinion/valuation of me.</p> <p>I moved into my own apartment and took charge of my life. When I would mentally beat myself up, I would try to always counter it with something else (ok, so maybe I suck at X, but I’m awesome at Y – that sort of thing). For a while I think it was faking it until I made it, but the more I talked positively about myself and the more often I did things that made *me* proud of myself (getting my own place, working hard, volunteering, paying off debt, getting an awesome set of abs - - whatever it was) the easier it got and the more my self esteem improved. </p> <p>It wasn't a super quick or easy process, but it was worth it to do the work and take the time to figure out how to make ME happy, just by myself. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207829 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 07:34:23 +0000 looch 1207829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: this is great! I feel like I can relate, albeit on a different path.</p> <p>I came into my own in college...I had been in a school system with the same kids, many since kindergarten and I kind of was who I was, with not a lot of opportunity to make new friends. Imagine my delight at being on a campus with 2000 people, all eager to make new friends!</p> <p>I hit my first personal best around age 27 and then again at around 33. I am gearing up for another one really soon, I think my life is pretty damn fabulous (don't get me wrong, it has its low points, but more of then than not, I love living this life). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207774 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 03:30:50 +0000 lamariniere 1207774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: I totally agree. You have made really important points about knowing who you are/finding yourself and working towards who you want to be. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207766 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 02:59:57 +0000 lemondrop 1207766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can attribute it to two things- my family and my work. My parents and grandparents were very good at putting value the big things- happiness, family, and education. I am hopelessly flawed in many things- appearance/style, organization, and being social. I'm still very happy with myself despite that, it's just me...hopelessly flawed in many things. </p> <p>I am typically a very shy person unless it has to do with my work, in that case I am a major extrovert. It is the place I am most comfortable, and when everything else is crazy, I at least know the facts there and know it will lead me to the next step. In high school I started getting into my field, and just flourished and found my place. That has bled into my personal life, and given me my self confidence in everything else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207722 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 00:45:31 +0000 sarac 1207722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I spent my 20s figuring out my path in life (degree in science, marriage to my long time boyfriend, long term stay at home mom-hood), losing much of the weight I put on after high school, figuring out and conquering my depression, and getting into shape. I'll turn 30 next week, and I feel really amazing about where I am in life. I've really never felt more confidant about who I am, and it comes entirely from the work I've put into becoming the person I want to be, and designing the kind of life I want. I've worked my ass off to get to this place in life, and now that I'm here, I feel pretty amazing. I really like who I am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207719 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 00:44:12 +0000 lamariniere 1207719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Good question! I have always had fairly high self esteem and a good outward image of myself. I am generally a confident person and don't self doubt too often. I've always been a kind of follow your dreams type, and feel like I have often succeeded in this. Where that comes from though, I have no idea. My parents were always very supportive and loving, but they also weren't my personal cheerleaders. I was a good student, have had reasonable jobs and have never had major issues with my appearance. I don't know if self esteem is more of a personality trait or something we learn. </p> <p>I do very distinctly remember once about 5 years ago when when I was out with someone who I considered to be a friend and she spent the entire evening being very snarky, snide and downright b*tchy to me. It really shook my normal confidence and made me realize what a high level of self esteem I generally have. After a few other similar incidents, I cut her off completely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207686 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 23:54:54 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1207686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have very good self esteem. I put too much focus on my body and I have very high expectations for myself. When I don't meet those expectations, I become sad and obsessed with improving myself.<br /> My family is very body-focused and places a high emphasis on appearance. My mother has been trying to lose more and more weight her whole life, even though she is at an extremely healthy (small!) weight. She is never satisfied and CAN'T take a compliment. I think I picked up habits from her. I can't take a compliment IRL for the life of me.<br /> I used to have much better self-esteem, but that was when I was 40 pounds lighter. I think it is sad that I let my current body shape and size determine how I feel about myself. I hope to improve. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207513 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 21:13:25 +0000 BabyMats 1207513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a person, I have pretty good self esteem.I do think it is attributed to my parents. When I was younger I was told to not care what anyone thinks and u never give someone that power over you. I was taught to set goals and when I achieve them celebrate it and make new ones. I enjoyed my family and friends and was extremely independent. I'm also pretty proud of myself for picking up and moving across the ocean knowing absolutely no one and setting up a pretty good life for myself. I feel truly blessed and have an amazing husband and now a baby. The one thing I do doubt which I'm sure every one does is just how good of a job I'm doing as a mother that is my constant worry. And of course the looks department. My one struggle that I have always had though with myself is my weight. Always a work in progress. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207506 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 21:03:14 +0000 Mrs. Confetti 1207506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: "Is learning to love yourself really the greatest love of all? " Let me just say this might be my fave song of all time.</p> <p>I have decent self esteem, but need more recognition/support/compliments than I'd like, especially since I became a SAHM and changed gears being away from the career world. Honestly, my biggest self esteem boost comes from being a mom, and having C look at me like I can move mountains (or at least provide snacks on command). That pure baby love in his eyes really can make my day. </p> <p>If only we could all have self esteem like this girl (speaking of favorites, def one of my favorite you tube videos ever...)</p> <p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207448 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 20:16:09 +0000 Foodnerd81 1207448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sadly, these days it seems like my self esteem is directly related to C's sleeping habits. When she is, and therefore I am, sleeping well, I fell good, like a good mom, wife, etc. When she is really struggling, I feel like an absolute failure whose only job is to take care of this baby and I can't even do that and I doubt every single thing I do for her. So my whole self esteem is in the hands of a little tyrant. </p> <p>I do like recognition, of course, but I don't think I am that reliant on others for my self esteem. It's more like, I always knew I was smart, so whether other people made a big deal about it or not didn't make a difference. But it's still nice to hear nice things! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207388 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 19:44:37 +0000 Silva 1207388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a pretty confident person, and feel like I have healthy self esteem. It's funny, but before my daughter was born I still struggled with mild anxiety related to self doubt, particularly about my social skills (always been a source of anxiety for me- worrying that people don't like me, find me awkward, etc.). Since she came along, my anxiety has totally disappeared. Part of it is that most of what I used to worry about just doesn't seem important any more. Also, I somehow feel confident and relaxed about parenting (a total shock to me) and that seems to have trickled in to my confidence in other areas.</p> <p>My area of low self esteem related to my looks was having bad skin, and that magically cleared up once I stopped wearing makeup everyday. Yay! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207306 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 18:20:51 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1207306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think for me, I have never felt like I was pretty or anything like that. So I feel like my self esteem comes from trying my best to be a good person-- being kind to others, being empathetic, being a good listener. I feel that even when it's not recognized (and I am no saint-- I like some recognition as much as the next person!) I can feel good about who I am. Also, having my girls has made me feel much more at home in my own body. I've come to really feel that I am many good things. There's nothing quite like having the lens of someone who adores you in the way that your children do to make you see that you are wonderful. I think wanting to see the good things in yourself is a wonderful place to start from! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207278 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 17:57:34 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1207278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a lot of my sense Of self-worth comes from my career. I really enjoy what I do for a living and that helps. I've found that having kids has helped ground me more too. It's like I care less about what other people think because I am so busy getting the family through each day. There's no time for doubt... Just enough time to get whatever needs to be done, done. </p> <p>Also I feel like there's a little "fake it until you make it" going on because you want your kids to understand confidence and self-assured ness, and that requires a little bit of a bluff sometimes... But the more you do it, the easier it is to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207272 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 17:55:56 +0000 cyndistar3 1207272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have basically no self esteem.... people always tell me that I am smart, pretty and good at a lot of things but I just don't see it. I can't seem to see past my flaws. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207263 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 17:48:57 +0000 Cherrybee 1207263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I think that's a great way of looking at it, especially the friendships part. :heart: </p> <p>I pride myself on being intelligent, too - but I need everyone to know it. I'm like: if people don't know it, what's the point? It's not healthy at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207254 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 17:42:57 +0000 Mae 1207254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Hm. The funny thing is I'm really not very ambitious at all! I actually don't like my job and I haven't pursued a traditional/long hours law career path. I don't think it's that I work hard that makes me feel good. I think I get a lot of my self esteem from the fact that I consider myself smart. I'm proud that I was just able to get through school and find a path that let's me live how I want to live and NOT work that terribly hard and still make decent money haha. I don't think I really need people to know but maybe that is because everyone does? No one has ever tried to make me feel NOT smart so I don't really feel the need to prove I am. </p> <p>As for the friends/family thing-- I don't think I need people to see my effort so much as I gauge how I'm doing based on my relationships. I've had times of my life where I really had no close friends and I really had not valued/nurtured my friendships. Now I have a few close friends and I know that it is a reciprocal relationship that only works because I do make an effort. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207251 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 17:37:24 +0000 Cherrybee 1207251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Good answers! So.... you clearly pride yourself on your willingness to work hard. You *try hard*, you give things your all and you achieve accordingly. Do you need people to know that about you or are you happy just knowing it in your own heart? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207248 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 17:32:23 +0000 Mae 1207248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hm. Hard questions! I think I have pretty good self esteem. Maybe not so much about my appearance, but otherwise. I don't really know where it comes from. I think I'm proud of getting through college and law school so young. I'm proud of making enough money that I could support myself comfortably before I got married. I'm proud of trying really hard to be a good friend and a good family member and a nice person. </p> <p>I think I just do my best and that is enough for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/where-does-your-self-esteem-come-from#post-1207244 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 17:25:50 +0000 Cherrybee 1207244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How is your self esteem? High? Low? Where does it come from? Do you value yourself or do you look to others for approval? Is learning to love yourself really the greatest love of all? What does loving yourself even mean?</p> <p>I have always got my self esteem from external sources and not always in the healthiest of ways. It means that I need people to kiss my ass constantly and to receive loads of compliments (at the very least) in order to feel good about myself. That's got to change....! </p>