Hellobee Boards Topic: Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 11:53:15 +0000 IRunForFun on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating/page/2#post-2812821 Thu, 29 Mar 2018 12:05:19 +0000 IRunForFun 2812821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @gingerbebe: Thank you!! I have an endocrinologist appointment in a month to check on some things, including insulin resistance, so have already been researching dietary modifications. I'm interested in the stabilizing effects for blood sugar since I don't want to lose weight or muscle. I've been tracking and am already getting about 40 to 45% of my calories from fat, but protein is more like 20%. I definitely have a huuuuge sweet tooth so that's my Achilles heel in all this. gingerbebe on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating/page/2#post-2812798 Thu, 29 Mar 2018 10:58:23 +0000 gingerbebe 2812798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @IRunForFun: Sorry, things were hectic yesterday and I couldn't respond! There are lots of people who eat keto who are not in it to lose weight. A lot of people talk about just having the consistent stamina and mental focus as the attraction. For others, its the simplicity - but that's a lot of the same reasons people are Whole30 or Paleo - its easier to eat whole foods if you limit the universe in some way. Keto just became popular because people WANT to lose weight and it works if you're overweight. Generally, if you're happy with your current weight and want to support your existing muscle mass, then you would calculate how many calories you need based on BMI and activity level to maintain your weight, then eat enough protein to support your lean muscle mass (determined by your BMI). Since we assume you will limit your carbs to a certain level (let's say 20 net carbs), its a matter of filling up the remaining calories you need to maintain your current weight with fat. Generally, research shows you need about 0.8 to 1g of protein per pound of lean muscle to support existing muscle mass. Then you assume 20 net grams of carbs (which is what you have left after subtracting the fibe content of your food, so it can be more like 40g-50 of total carbs). Then the rest would be fat. If you're eating cheese, nuts, full fat dairy, eggs, avocados, and meat with naturally occurring attached fats, and sauteing your veggies in olive oil, you will likely hit that fat number very easily. The fad-ish keto world will say the magical ratio is to get 75% of your calories from fat, 20 from protein, and 5 from carbs, or just to eat as much fat as you want, but that's way too simplistic. You need to figure out your BMI, how much lean muscle mass you have, and then eat enough protein to support that muscle mass, because you don't want to lose weight by sacrificing your muscles. So for instance, in my case, while I'm in weight loss mode, my macros break down to roughly more like 5% carbs, 33-35% protein, and 60-62% fat. Atkins and people who follow more of a Primal approach to eating will often shift to a higher carb situation - maybe 50-100g of carbs a day. This is largely determined by your own insulin resistance and the SOURCES of your carbs. (Sugar from sweet potato and sugar from white cane sugar are going to affect your body differently.) Some people can eat 100-150g of of complex carbs a day, do workouts that burn that sugar off, and just because of overall great insulin response, be just fine. Some people who are more insulin resistant will gain weight the second they go up in carbs or it will trigger sugar cravings so hard that they cannot deal with it. Maintenance is hard for people on low carb diets because of that reason - they need to figure out what their sweet spot is through trial and error. Some people just stay keto at 20 net carbs or less forever just because they feel great and don't want to deal with the guessing. FWIW, the month before I went on keto, I just did a sugar-elimination diet. I didn't eat processed sugar, but did eat whole grains and what not, and just doing that made me feel 100000% better. I had done low carb diets in the past that had led me to very slow and steady results (like 1lb a week), but I wanted to see how eliminating most carbs made me feel because I did feel like I was addicted to carbs (hello, I'm Asian, I love rice) and I wanted to get some more control. So you don't have to be keto to enjoy the benefits of just being less dependent on sugar and carbs for fuel. But I do personally prefer how I feel on keto over everything else I've tried (and I've basically tried most things). Sorry to threadjack! Adira on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating/page/2#post-2812724 Thu, 29 Mar 2018 05:26:15 +0000 Adira 2812724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @IRunForFun: From my understanding of Atkins at least, once you wanted to slow your weight-loss or maintain your weight, you're just slowly increase the amount of carbs you eat a day. But you'd never return to eating a high-carb diet! Maintenance might be anywhere from 40-100g of carbs a day, which means there still isn't room in your diet for sweets or pasta, etc. LCTBQE on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating/page/2#post-2812690 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 19:37:12 +0000 LCTBQE 2812690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @nana87: no real advice about your kids and family dynamic, but wanted to tell you that Gretchen Rubin wrote about the moderation personality type vs the all-or-nothing personality type AND how it applies specifically to the keto diet in her book Better Than Before. I think it might be illuminating to you to read at least that section. after reading it I read the book she recommends which sounds like a fad diet book but is actually an evolutionary nutrition book--Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes. it blew my mind and totally changed the way I think about food and nutrition, which is not something I was raised to think about at all. I know your post is more about the extreme nature of your husband's approach than about the nutrition philosophy itself, but maybe it'll be easier to understand why he wants this for himself after some lite reading?? It's hard when everyone in a family doesn't have the same habits and inclinations, esp since we work all freaking day and it IS nice to sit down to a communal meal. gotkimchi on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating/page/2#post-2812682 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 18:36:19 +0000 gotkimchi 2812682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrsbubbletea: if you have any yard space, it’s fast and easy. Super doable and your in and out in less then 12 weeks. mrsbubbletea on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating/page/2#post-2812681 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 18:35:15 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2812681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @gotkimchi: I think that’s awesome! My husband wants to still eat meat, I decided not to eat pork and red meat for ethical/environmental reasons but still eat chicken... I wish I could say it was truly ethically raised! gotkimchi on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812679 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 18:24:25 +0000 gotkimchi 2812679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrsbubbletea: @Mrs. Museum: I agree with the etichal/environmental reasons for vegetarianism - but we have our own chickens for eggs, raise meat chickens, and don’t eat red meat (if we did we would raise it) - and I still feel better on low carbs. So I think you can still do “keto” and support the environment and eat a plant based diet. Plus I think it’s pretty much a fact that my growing children need many more carbs then me. Also this is an aside : but you can pretty easily do an aquaponics system and set up your own fish for food as well, so everyone grow their own food :grin: IRunForFun on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812675 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 18:15:39 +0000 IRunForFun 2812675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @gingerbebe: Just because I'm curious and you seem to be really knowledgeable about it...what happens when people who don't want to lose weight eat a keto diet? Is it a calorie thing? Feel free to wall me so I don't threadjack. mrsbubbletea on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812668 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 17:49:44 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2812668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Museum: thank you! That’s what I posted as well and I was surprised no one agreed. Mrs. Museum on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812667 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 17:34:35 +0000 Mrs. Museum 2812667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ So, I struggled with disordered eating for years and have several friends and family members who still do. I definitely think that all of these extremely restrictive diets foster an obsessive and unhealthy relationship with food. I would not be super comfortable with my (hypothetical) children being exposed to it on a daily basis, especially given my own history. I also don't think it's fair to equate vegetarianism with these fad diets-- there are ethical and environmental reasons for limiting the consumption of animal proteins, it's not just about losing weight or building muscle. Mrsbells on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812580 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 12:37:32 +0000 Mrsbells 2812580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @nana87: i think as long as he is getting all thr nutrients he needs from all the food groups thats the main concern. if he is missing out on all carbs including those naturally occurring in fruits and veggies then i would be concerned. Because natutal sugars are in nearly everything and not all of them are bad. codeitall on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812573 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 12:10:21 +0000 codeitall 2812573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think @Becky hits it on the head for me. It isn't so much his approach, but how your kids view his approach. There is a multitude of research out there about how parent's influence their children's diet and eating habits, but I think the most important question is: do you want your children to believe that a very restricted diet and obsessiveness about food is good for them? Because they will model what they see you doing. I think others have addressed great ways to tell your kids why you eat differently, just make sure your husband is on the same page. gingerbebe on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812564 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 11:51:39 +0000 gingerbebe 2812564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ One thing to keep in mind about the keto diet is that there is no thing as "moderation" with regards to carbs. Generally, most people shoot for 20 net carbs a day from all sources in order to keep their body in a fat burning state called ketosis. Its hard to get into ketosis when you start out, you feel like hell (its called the keto flu) while your electrolytes and system shifts from burning sugar for fuel to ketones found in fat. People on the keto diet work hard to stay in ketosis because its hard getting back IN to ketosis when you fall off and because the side effects from keto flu make you feel like crap. I would say for most people it takes about a month to 6 weeks of strict keto to get your body fully adjusted to a fat adapted state (hence why he may not want to eat starchier vegetables). After all that hard work and will power, you don't really want to undo. Being in ketosis ensures you are in a fat burning state (weight loss), but lots of people also really enjoy the keto diet because the lack of sugar spikes in your day means your energy is consistent and you have lots of clarity and focus. Again, things that would be worth skipping a bite of cake for. During the first month I was keto, I accidentally got "sugared" by a seasoning mix on some chicken wings that were supposed to be naked. I could barely get through the afternoon, I was so tired, and I felt off for like 2-3 days afterwards. Since then, I have been very diligent not to get sugared again so that I don't have to deal with that. So if your husband seems overly strict about his vegetable choices, it may be because he wants to ensure he is fully in ketosis. If his goal in doing keto is to lose weight for the most part, then he may stick to very low carb veggies like spinach for a long time. However, many ketoers, including myself, eat lots of other veggies and just fit it into our macros (i.e. that 20 net carb number). Perhaps you can talk to your husband about doing very low or zero carb for breakfast and lunch and then spend all his carbs at dinnertime when the family eats together to provide him with more leeway in his vegetable choices. If he has 10-15 of his carbs to blow at dinner, that's actually a LOT of vegetables. Veggies that have worked for our entire family are zucchini and green beans, salad greens, bamboo shoots, green bell peppers, and avocado. We eat a lot of those things. I can usually throw in keto friendly veggies like broccoli florets, cauliflower, and mushrooms into our dishes and just leave them in pieces big enough that we can pick out for DH. 2littlepumpkins on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812557 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 11:37:08 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2812557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @newlypregnantlady: maybe I'm a hypocrite then because I don't see counting calories as disordered at all. I know about how many I need and I roughly keep track of what I've had and I stay a decently healthy weight. Seems like a pretty simple equation to me. 🤷‍♀️ Congrats on your weight loss! Adira on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812489 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 09:17:55 +0000 Adira 2812489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I started a keto diet about 18 months ago and it was HUGE life changer for me. I had done lots of different types of dieting and exercise and keto was literally the first thing that really WORKED for me. It can be amazing to FINALLY find the thing that works for your body and makes you feel good! So I totally understand why your husband would be gung-ho for it! I'd be defensive too if someone got on my case about what I was eating/not eating just because it didn't mesh with what they were eating or not. My husband was really supportive of my dietary changes and I really appreciated his support. But it was a little hard on my family. We used to have pasta 2-3 times a week and we cut it out completely for a while until I started eating spaghetti squash instead, and then we had pasta/spaghetti squash about once a week. We also used to have other vegetables, but some vegetables are more carby than others, so my family had to make do with zucchini, summer squash, and broccoli. My husband loves peas, but I stopped making them for him! We used have breaded haddock and pork tenderloin, but we stopped having those too. For the most part though, I was the main cook, so I'd make a meat and vegetable that I could have plus a carb for the rest of the family (noodles, rice, potatoes, etc.). I imagine in your case, it's even harder to do that since you don't even eat the meat. It sounds like your husband is doing what works for him while trying to accommodate the rest of your family. I would try to maybe be more supportive of his diet, but also talk about how it's important to not label foods bad or good in front of your kids. When the rest of my family is having pasta and I'm having a salad, I just tell them that Mommy's body doesn't react well to a lot of carbs, so I try not to eat as many, but that carbs are really good for growing little kids, so they should eat up! T.H.O.U. on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812464 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 07:45:18 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2812464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We are actually dealing with this too because I'm doing Keto and my family is not. For me, Keto is working because I am a sugar addict and carbs and even fruit carbs make me balloon and crave more. We talked to our daughter about how every body is unique and everyone has different needs. Mommy is working at my desk all day, so I dont need carbs like she does when she plays and runs all day. Also, look into Keto vegetarian options. There are a lot of resources! newlypregnantlady on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812454 Wed, 28 Mar 2018 01:30:30 +0000 newlypregnantlady 2812454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I’ve lost 60lbs by counting calories. A lot of people consider that behavior disordered. But an eating disorder is a major mental illness. And I’m 100% sure I do not have an eating disorder. After a lifetime of obesity I have finally found a healthy relationship with food and I would be so hurt if my spouse weren’t supportive of me. That said, if he were seriously worried (and not just like “ugh, why do you have to log one bite of a cookie??”), I’d try to listen. Because an eating disorder is serious and I would listen, just as I’d listen if he were to tell me I need help for depression. But one thing that I absolutely forbid in front of my kids is food moralizing. Foods are not inherently good or bad. I don’t even really like using the word “healthy” because its meaning is so variable. Food can be addictive and I wouldn’t tell an alcoholic that abstaining from alcohol was too extreme. Some people are like that with foods. That said, you know your husband the best. If you truly believe he needs professional help, he should get it! But it should be a serious conversation and not a fight where you’re both just irritated at the other because each other’s eating habits are inconvenient. 2littlepumpkins on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812450 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 22:48:09 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2812450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would be concerned. It's not the diet, necessarily, but his attitude about it. And frankly at least in our house if DH was that obsessed with something (and yeah it sounds obsessive to me) I can't imagine it not taking over time/energy/even money that should be going to the kids/house/us/work/etc., and that would make me not only concerned but annoyed to be perfectly honest! Also, if he lost 20 lbs over 2 months that's different than over 4 or 6 months. But for reference, I do way more cooking/meal and snack prep, almost all the grocery shopping, and given our habits it would cost us significantly more to all be eating different meals all the time. So I'm projecting a bit here. But his attitude does seem extreme. Becky on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812413 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 20:02:25 +0000 Becky 2812413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I went through a much less intense version of this with my husband. For me the challenge was that he diet he was focused on restricting healthy foods, just like the keto diet restricts entire families of vegetables, whole grains, certain fruits, etc. People often latch on to fad diets for illogical reasons and just like any eating disorder, it is very difficult to convince them otherwise (my husband had literally just heard about it from a doctor he liked). If your husband actually believes that apples are “bad,” then I would say you need to have a serious discussion about how this will impact your children. Like others said if eating this way makes him feel better then fine, just figure out a way you can enjoy food together as a family like @gingerebe. I would ask him what his response would be if one of your children asked him if he wanted a bite of something healthy like an apple and he said no. What would he say if they asked “Why?” He shouldn’t be telling them any whole food is unhealthy. Demonstrating restrictive eating (like “apples are a bad food,” as opposed to “some foods don’t make Daddy feel well, so he enjoys other healthy foods but apples don’t bother your belly or Mommy’s belly so we can still enjoy them.”) to children is really unacceptable (FWIW I was anorexic in high school). nana87 on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812403 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 19:05:32 +0000 nana87 2812403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @gingerbebe: thanks, this is really helpful! I’m glad you’re finding a way to eat that makes you feel good and works well with your family. I think you’re right about how one can be orthorexic with any kind of diet. Dh seems to be following a more inflexible meal plan than you describe, since the kind of meals you mentioned sound more like how we used to eat together, with mostly shared components. He mentioned that he’s reintroducing certain veggies now that he had cut before so maybe things will get easier for us mrsbubbletea on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812387 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 17:26:34 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2812387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I thought vegetarianism and eating less meat was generally considered to be healthy and better for many reasons (planet, health, ethical) whereas keto is kind of a fad or at least a newer way to eat for a lot of people. And yes I know it actually is an older method of eating and can treat various medical issues but the majority of people aren’t using it that way these days. gingerbebe on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812384 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 16:42:51 +0000 gingerbebe 2812384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ So, we sorta have this issue at our house with regards to dietary differences, but we don't have any conflict over it. DH and I just believe that we need to each eat in a way that promotes our well-being. We never talk about each other's way of eating as being bad or whatever. I've been keto since October and I've lost about 40 pounds. I'm fairly disciplined about it, I've never cheated, and I take all the "right" supplements, etc. I feel the best I have in a long time, I have consistent energy to keep up with my kids, and my health is great. But I don't really talk about it with anyone. If people ask me what I'm doing, I just tell them I don't eat carbs, the end. My husband has gout and cannot eat dark leafy greens and crucifers. He has an intolerance for mushrooms. He has GERD, so he can't digest melons, very acidic foods, or large amounts of fiber. He also cannot digest cheese, so he drinks almond milk, although he can have other types of dairy like cream or yogurt in reasonable amounts. We also have 2 boys, 22 months old and 3.5 years old. They have their own dietary preferences. Our eldest is a decent eater as far as variety goes, but doesn't eat a lot. Our youngest is a hearty eater, but literally only likes carbs, some fruit, and is extremely picky about his protein sources. He basically eschewed all vegetables about 4 months ago. I am the main cook in the house and I prepare all of our meals, pack all of the lunches, etc. Our meals rarely look alike, but I make it a point for all of us to sit down together every evening for dinner. Our 3.5 year old notices that we don't always eat the same thing, but we're happy to let him try whatever someone else is having and we always say grace over our meals. We always thank God for this delicious, nutritious food and ask that He bless it to our bodies. DS1 knows Daddy doesn't eat cheese because it makes his stomach hurt so I figure its the same as to why I don't eat carbs. Because they don't make me feel well. We can eat meals that everyone can partake in (in pieces), but I only go through the effort about once a week, maybe twice if its a good week. For instance, tonight is Taco Tuesday. I will make a batch of taco meat and the boys will have it in tacos, quesadillas, etc. DH will have it too, but without cheese. There will be rice, beans, corn, and chips, which I will not eat. I will have a big bowl of lettuce, guacamole, meat, cheese, salsa, etc. And perhaps dip some pork rinds into it instead of chips. If we have a vegetarian guest (we often have our vegetarian friend for dinner), I might make extra beans and have some queso dip on hand. A similar meal I make is Greek night. I can make some chicken or beef for all of us. Instead I swap the tortillas for pita bread and put hummus and yogurt dip on the table. I may add some olives and feta cheese for me and for any extra vegetarians at our table, as well as a bowl of marinated chickpeas. We make Thai or Indian coconut curries a lot. I can make the base sauce, add some acceptable veggies for everyone, and I can throw in some meat for me (that I have pre-cooked) and sub in chickpeas or tofu for the vegetarian guest. Same for stirfry. In the summer, we often do big salads for dinner or snack plates, and each person can eat what they want in that way. I batch cook 2-3 kinds of meat once a week and I just reheat them all week long for all our meals. Most nights, DH and the boys eat the same thing (minus cheese or dairy for DH) and I eat the protein part. DH can pick out the broccoli if its part of the dish I cooked and I can eat salad if the veggies are all peas, corn, and carrots. In fact, salad and fresh raw veggies are always available, so its not a big deal if our veggies don't match. We have a rice cooker that always has rice in it, so I can always slap some on a plate if someone needs carbs. For DS1, I think its actually expanded his palate. He sees his brother and DH eat the same spaghetti, so he's cool with it, but he also sees me eating asparagus topped with meat sauce and wants to try some just because its different. DS2 just thinks everyone should eat pretzels. The reason I don't really talk about keto is that people think its really nuts and extreme, but I don't think its any more strict than someone who's Paleo or Whole30 or vegan. I have friends who follow all of those diets and I'm supportive of them eating however makes them feel best. Can you become orthorexic about ANY eating method? Absolutely. The obsession that food needs to be pure and perfect, whatever diet you follow, and completely upending your life over it, is disordered. But I don't find it hard to be flexible or fit my way of eating into any setting I find myself in. And I will say as someone who's struggled with eating disorders for a good portion of my life, keto has been the most beneficial thing I've found in repairing my relationship with food. And I think living a healthy relationship with food is something that's more important for me to model for my kids than all of us eating the same thing all the time. nana87 on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812380 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 16:19:54 +0000 nana87 2812380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @gotkimchi: that's what we used to do--have everything out and mix and match--but the keto veggie restrictions are what's hard! I think he's been extra restrictive than "normal" about veggies but I haven't done the research on the diet myself. Like, potatoes I get are starchy, but he basically only eats spinach right now... @MrsBucky: that's a great way of putting it! he's def more of an abstainer and I'm a moderator @PurplePumps: yes I def don't want the girls to associate whole/non-processed foods as being "bad"! @IRunForFun: yes this distinction is key! dh and I just don't seem to agree about whether or not he's obsessed. We are about to travel to Italy and I cannot believe he won't eat pasta while we're there, so we'll see what it does to his anxiety levels... IRunForFun on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812374 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 16:04:48 +0000 IRunForFun 2812374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think it tends to veer toward disordered eating when obsession and anxiety become involved. There's nothing wrong with eating a certain diet but if he panics in a situation where keto friendly foods aren't available, or refuses to put himself in those situations entirely, or if he obsesses constantly over macros or whatever, I'd call it a problem. PurplePumps on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812372 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 16:02:59 +0000 PurplePumps 2812372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Both of you have restrictive diets I could never understand or follow, they just happen to be different, so I'm not sure why being restricted as a vegetarian seems to be more "acceptable" of a diet choice than his keto choices. Same thing to me, just different type of food. My only concern would be that the kids don't associate food choices that aren't really health risk like highly processed junk food and stuff like that, as "bad". And even then, moderation does not make even bad foods the devil. He may not be "able" to eat a tomato, but a tomato certainly isn't bad and I wouldn't want them to think that it was. I actually think it's great if they want to learn about nutrition, but not as black and white hard rules that need to apply to them... but just something to learn about that they can decide for themselves as adults when they are more suited to make those choices. gotkimchi on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812371 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 15:56:57 +0000 gotkimchi 2812371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MrsBucky: yes I cannot moderate! I’m an abstainer for sure youboots on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812370 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 15:51:24 +0000 youboots 2812370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think it’s ok to eat different foods. If he’s doing the cooking it does not seem super impactful to you to accommodate him. I think a short chat about the way words are chosen around your kids may be helpful. Or compromise and eat the same meal 2 nights a week? DH is gluten sensitive and I eat all the carbs so it’s not unusual for us to have different lunches/dinners- often with the same protein though. That said- I had a friend who was dating a guy like this and the restrictive/obsessive diet/gym time was so impactful to her- like they could not eat out and he would never eat outside the rules was enough to amplify other concerns. They broke up. nana87 on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812368 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 15:42:43 +0000 nana87 2812368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @kiddosc: I mean, a major difference is that I've been a vegetarian since long before we were even dating. He knew what he was getting into on the first date ;) Also, I'm not as strict as most vegetarians, like I will eat soup made from chicken stock, or pull cold cuts out of sandwiches if that's my only option. I've also tried some meat/fish since dating dh out of curiosity. Maybe people who aren't vegetarians imagine it as being really restrictive, but I'm pretty flexible and have been able to get by while traveling all over the world (except it was a little hard in China--"sea cucumber" is apparently jellyfish, not a vegetable, lol). I've always been supportive of his eating meat, though I admit I get mad when he cooks salmon bc it's stinky ;) afc061018 on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812366 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 15:42:19 +0000 afc061018 2812366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @BadgerMom and @kiddosc make a good point, I think. I might be vegan, but I also ate a nonvegan cupcake this weekend when I was with a group of friends who were all indulging. :silly: Balance is important. While I totally get the critique of saying "what's wrong with a tomato" and see where it's coming from, I can also see the opposite side re: keto. Either argument is a judgment on the other person's eating choices and puts the other person in an awful position. MrsBucky on "Where's the line between a strict diet and disordered eating?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wheres-the-line-between-a-strict-diet-and-disordered-eating#post-2812365 Tue, 27 Mar 2018 15:40:03 +0000 MrsBucky 2812365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ One thing to consider is the idea of abstainers and moderaters. Some people find it easier to moderate their eating and some people find it easier to abstain from things they know aren’t good for them. My husband also tends towards being an abstainer. He has habits to go to the gym or for a run 3-5 x week. He prefers not to have things around he can’t control himself with (sweets). Is it annoying sometimes? Yes. But I prefer him to take care of himself especially in a stage of life when I see many of my friends’ spouses letting themselves go. Not exactly the same situation, so I don’t mean to say you’re wrong at all- it might be worse/ different, but I wanted to share my experience and perspective in case it was helpful.